Welcome to TiddlyWiki created by Jeremy Ruston, Copyright © 2007 UnaMesa Association
Notts Friendly League
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Notts Friendly League
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EMPAL Division 2
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Pos ? Pl 22 W 8 D 4 L 10 GF 40 GA 42 Pts 28
''EMPAL Division 2''
|!Pos | !Team | !Pl | !W| !D | !L| !F|!A|!GD|!Pts|
|1| [[Fanzines United]] | 26 | 21 |4|1|114|37|83|67|
|2| Pinewood Studios |26 |19|5|2|94|26|68|62|
|3| The Park | 26|20|2|4|80|28|52|62|
|4| Oakleigh Lodge |26|17|2|7|78|58|20|53|
|5| Castlemeadow |26|16|4|6|72|45|27|52|
|6| [[FC Olympico|Olympico]] |26|11|6|9|81|72|9|39|
|7| Apple Tree |26|9|5|12|54|90|-26|32|
|8| NRA |26|9|1|16|54|90|-36|28|
|9| CCN Sports |26|8|1|14|46|60|-14|25|
|10| [[Highfield Park Rangers]] |26|7|1|17|35|69|-34|22|
|11| West Notts Union |26|6|2|18|47|74|-27|20|
|12| Royal Children |26|6|2|17|44|91|-47|20|
|13| [[Nottingham Medics]] |26|5|4|17|34|89|-55|19|
|14| Kinoulton |26|5|3|18|46|59|-13|18|
EMPAL Division 1
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EMPAL Division 1
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EMPAL Division 2
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EMPAL Division 2
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EMPAL Division 2
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|1| [[West End]] |||||||||
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|4| [[Fanzines United]] |20|10|1|9|45|45|0|31|
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EMPAL Division 2
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EMPAL Division 2
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Fanzines finished just outside of the promotion frame. Needing to win our last game of the season to ensure promotion we lost out to [[Notts Athletic]] who came away from [[Gresham]] with a 1-0 victory. Although another season in Division 2 beckoned, Fanzines had shown great improvements and were really looking like a side ready for top flight football...could [[2005-06]] bring better luck?
[[Match Reports 2004-05]]
[[Player of the Year|Ian Swanton Trophy]]: [[Graham Gilbert]]
''[[Top Goalscorer]]'': ''17'' [[Graham Gilbert]]
''@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;EMPAL Division 2@@''
|!Pos | !Team | !Pl | !W| !D | !L| !F|!A|!GD|!Pts|
|1| [[Pheasant Inn]] | 16|9|3|4|36|27|9|30|
|2| [[Notts Athletic]] |16 |9|1|6|39|35|4|28|
|3| [[Chequers]] | 16|8|1|7|27|24|3|25|
|4| [[Inter FB]] |16| 7|3|6|39|38|1|24|
|5| [[FC Olympico|Olympico]] |16|7|2|7|44|40|4|23|
|6| [[Fanzines United]] |16|6|5|5|27|26|1|23|
|7| [[Butler United]] |16|5|5|6|37|33|4|20|
|8| [[Ardley Athletic]] | 16|6|0|10|43|37|6|18|
|9| [[Brooks Villa]] |16|4|2|10|33|53|-20|14|
''@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;Players Stats@@''
| !Player | !Apps | !Goals |
| [[Chris Whittaker]] | 20 | 6 |
| [[Lyndon Cowlard]] | 19 | 0 |
| [[Graham Gilbert]] | 19 | 17 |
| [[Dave Greenwood]] | 19 | 2 |
| [[Adrian Jones]] | 17 | 0 |
| [[Garry Smith]] | 17 | 7 |
| [[Fred Lowe]] | 16 | 0 |
| [[Paul Ravenscroft]] | 16 | 1 |
| [[Kip Broughton]] | 13 | 0 |
| [[Rich Shaw]] | 13 | 0 |
| [[James Timpson]] | 13 | 1 |
| [[Gareth Sowerbutts]] | 12 | 0 |
| [[Duncan Richmond]] | 9 | 2 |
| [[Dan Brown]] | 8 | 3 |
| [[Stuart Gadsby]] | 8 | 0 |
| [[Courtney Nangle]] | 8 | 0 |
| [[Darren Heithus]] | 5 | 5 |
| [[Stephen Connor]] | 1 | 0 |
| [[Paul Harrison]] | 1 | 0 |
| [[Ali Larman]] | 1 | 0 |
''@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;Results@@''
| !Date | !Competition | !Opposition | !Score | !Result | !H/A | !Venue | !Scorers |
| 19/09/04 | EMPAL Div2 | Keyworth Plough | 2-5 | L | H | [[Gresham]] |Smith, Whittaker |
| 03/10/04 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Chequers]] | 3-1 | W | A | [[Cropwell Butler]] |Gilbert 2, Richmond |
| 10/10/04 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Butler United]] | 1-1 | D | H | [[Gresham]] |Gilbert |
| 17/10/04 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Inter FB]] | 1-3 | L | A | [[Highfields]] |Brown D |
| 31/10/04 | [[EMPAL Cup]] | Kellys NTL | 4-0 | W | H | [[Gresham]] |Whittaker 2, Heithus 2 |
| 07/11/04 | EMPAL Div2 | [[FC Olympico|Olympico]] | 2-2 | D | A | [[Farnborough Road]] |Gilbert 2 |
| 14/11/04 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Brooks Villa]] | 2-1 | W | A | [[Chilwell Olympia]] |Gilbert, Smith |
| 21/11/04 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Inter FB]] | 2-2 | D | H | [[Gresham]] |Gilbert, Heithus |
| 28/11/04 | EMPAL Div2 | Rose & Crown | 7-0 | W | A | [[Alford Road]] |Gilbert 3, Greenwood, Smith, Brown D, Richmond |
| 05/12/04 | EMPAL Div2 | Euro Sports Bar | 2-2 | D | H | [[Gresham]] |Whittaker, Heithus |
| 12/12/04 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Notts Athletic]] | 0-1 | L | A | [[Alford Road]] | |
| 09/01/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Chequers]] | 1-1 | D | H | [[Gresham]] |Gilbert |
| 16/01/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Butler United]] | 2-1 | W | A | [[Cropwell Butler]] |Timpson, Smith |
| 23/01/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Brooks Villa]] | 7-1 | W | H | [[Gresham]] |Ravenscroft, Gilbert 2, Whittaker, Smith 2, Brown D |
| 30/01/05 | [[EMPAL Cup]] | [[Fox & Crown]] | 2-4 | L | H | [[Gresham]] |Gilbert, Greenwood |
| 06/02/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Ardley Athletic]] | 0-4 | L | A | [[Highfields]] | |
| 20/02/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Pheasant Inn]] | 2-1 | W | A | [[The Forest]] |Smith, Gilbert |
| 03/03/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Pheasant Inn]] | 2-2 | D | H | [[Gresham]] |Whittaker, Heithus|
| 10/03/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[FC Olympico|Olympico]] | 0-3 | L | H | [[Gresham]] | |
| 17/03/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Ardley Athletic]] | 2-1 | W | H | [[Gresham]] |Gilbert 2 |
| 24/03/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Notts Athletic]] | 0-1 | L | H | [[Gresham]] | |
''@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;Season Review@@''
[[Andy Lowe]]
When I first popped into [[Selectadisc]] all those years ago to see [[Jim Cooke]] and discuss the formation of a Sunday morning football team little did I realise what a big part it would go on to play in my life. Fifteen years on and I'm still involved which is not much short of a life sentence, except this is one I can honestly say it's been a pleasure to serve. I have many cherished memories and consider myself fortunate to have played alongside and now manage players who have genuinely made me want to get out of bed on a Sunday morning. I also consider myself lucky to be able to call the vast majority of those I have met through my involvement with the club friends. I think it's fair to say that there's a special bond that develops between any team that plays together for a length of time and experiences success and failure. The Old Boys had it and the current band of Fanzines players are carrying on in the same tradition. I may have the title 'manager' but to be honest it's a nominal one. You're only as good as the players you have at your disposal. There's no doubt that Fanzines wouldn't have come within one game of promotion this past season if the current crop of players weren't as good as they are. Honest, skilful, hard working and totally committed. I couldn't fault their endeavour last season and I was gutted when the result in that last game of the season decider went against us. Gutted because I couldn't have asked any more from any player and I believed they deserved something tangible for their efforts. But I also felt proud because we came so close by playing football that by Sunday morning standards was sometimes a joy to watch. And it's no accident we've won [[EMPAL's|EMPAL]] Fair Play Award for two of the past three seasons. Opponents know that when they play against us they will have a tough game, but it will be a fair and enjoyable one. Referees often make a point of thanking me after a game, saying they look forward to the next time they're in charge of one of our games. Standing on the sidelines when you'd rather be out on the pitch is terribly frustrating but accolades like those just mentioned make it that much more bearable. And who knows, with a bit more luck and a few less injuries, next season might just be the one when a Fanzines team returns to EMPAL's top flight.
Fanzines United 4 Kellys NTL 0
EMPAL Cup 2nd Round
31st October 2004
A victory as comfortable as the scoreline suggests but one achieved without the overall level of performance being anywhere near as good as it has been over recent weeks. A lackadaisical approach prior to kick-off manifested itself in a first half performance which had both Lowe and Harrison adding to their grey hairs despite headed goals from Whitts and Daz.
A half-time blast from The Gaffer saw an improved second half display with both first half scorers doubling their tally in the second half. Whitts met a pin-point corner from Dan at the far post to join Graham Gilbert at the top of the club scoring charts while Daz’s second was a spectacular drive into the roof of the net from outside the box in the final minutes. Jonesy would, I’m sure, like it to be known that he added a further two assists to his impressive tally for the season - it’s just a pity that it’s only the Americans who bother with such things. The aforementioned Gilbert was in an unusually charitable mood in front of goal, taking pity on spirited and hard working but ultimately lacking opponents by missing a hatful of chances. One effort when clean through ended up nearer the corner flag, enabling the left footed liability to join his mucker Gareth (against Keyworth Plough) in an early contender for the Miss of the Season award. Still, as Clive remarked in his usual charitable manner, better he misses them when it doesn’t matter than against more ‘able’ opposition. Kip earned his first, and surely easiest, clean sheet of the season, gaining just reward for another early morning run up the M1 while credit must also got to the back four - Dave, Whitts, Fred and James – who performed so resolutely in front of him.
The only black spot was an injury to Lyndon five minutes from time, the tackle which caused it being so bad that the skipper was in no fit state to complain to the referee about it. Still, it at least allowed The Gaffer a five minute cameo and he didn’t disappoint, perfecting a shimmy and turn - not to mention waistline - reminiscent of the great Alfredo di Stefano (ask your dad).
So, onwards and upwards into the last 16 and Daz’s dream (potential title for the obligatory cup final record should we go all the way?) of a good cup run continues. Who will we get in the next round? Well, the draw is due to be made at the next secretary’s meeting later this month so expect news from Graham sometime in the new year, but whoever it is we’ll have to up our level of performance to keep ‘Daz’s Dream’ (yep, I like it) alive.
[[FC Olympico|Olympico]] 2 Fanzines United 2
EMPAL Division Two
7th November 2004
Kicking off half an hour late because the opposition can’t be bothered to turn up on time is annoying (although James was no doubt grateful), especially when it happens against the same team two seasons running. It’s also annoying when you then create countless chances but have to settle for a share of the spoils, but on Sunday mornings that’s just the way things sometimes go.
After opening up with 20 minutes of pretty decent football and bossing the game, Graham Gilbert laid the ghost of Kellys NTL to rest with a finish into the bottom corner and all looked rosy. In fact, such was the excitement on the touchline that The Gaffer raised a smile and John Salsbury decided to forgo his return visit to the burger van, deciding instead to let the referee stroll (with stroll being very much the operative word) unopposed to the ‘one pie too many’ award. Patrolling the game from his vantage area ten yards either side of the halfway line the man quite literally ‘in the middle’ then decided to add a touch of sauce to the footballing feast over which he was presiding, first disallowing a goal from GG for a push when the defender slipped and then ignoring a blatant elbow on Whitts to let Olympico break away to equalise. The failure/inability of said man in black to keep anywhere near up with play was to lead to more controversy five minutes from time when Goals had a close range finish ruled out after an Olympico defender had impeded his own keeper.
By then the claret and amber had retaken the lead with a header from Weller’s mate after good work from Whitts, Lyndon and Dave, only to lose it again 15 minutes from time due to poor marking from an in swinging corner. However, the game should have been out of the home side’s reach well before their second equaliser and the tally of near misses was topped off in surreal fashion when Lyndon of all people had a last minute header cleared off the line. Which, in hindsight, is probably a good thing for those of us who think he talks too much as it is. With the big ‘local derby’ against free-scoring Brooks Villa coming up the need to treat the goal scoring boots with a bit of TLC has never been more evident.
[[Brooks Villa]] 1 Fanzines United 2
EMPAL Division Two
14th November 2004
A victory as hard earned as they come. Brooks’ pre-game optimism was understandable, with an aggressive Summer recruitment policy being rewarded with a flying start to the season. Things may have been somewhat quieter in the Fanzines camp but with those remaining finally sorting work patterns and getting over early season injuries to return to the fold the nucleus of what was a very good side last season remains in place. And it was that extra ‘togetherness’ and willingness to play for each other which was probably the deciding factor in a game between two evenly matched teams.
Despite losing Courtney to a freak dislocated thumb injury on the Saturday night, the claret and amber still had a squad of 14 to choose from for the first time this season. As this required the use of more than two hands to work out formation and tactics, Andy and The Gaffer were seen undertaking much head scratching before finally deciding on a plan of action and naming the starting eleven a full ten minutes before kick-off. Rich Shaw was called upon after a heavy night out to provide cover for James, whose brave effort to play through an ankle injury came to a premature end after a quarter of an hour. Fortunately, however, this allowed just enough time for the aforementioned Mr Shaw to turn up for his second game of the season, necessitating a re-write of his player pen pic.
With Brooks playing both their much-vaunted Boots Athletic strikers, the renewal of the ‘brick wall’ partnership of Ravo and Gareth could not have occurred at a better time and they were superb in a first half when the opposition took advantage of both the wind and the sun to pile on the pressure. Ably supported by the two full backs, a wall of four midfielders - whose tireless efforts at tracking back and doubling up was a crucial factor - and a goalkeeper on top of his game, the yellow tide could find no way through and it was on a rare break forward that the lead was snatched. Good hold up play by Daz led to a free-kick being given out wide on the left and the quick thinking Graham Gilbert played in an inch perfect cross which was met by the head of the equally quick thinking Goals before the static Brooks defence had chance to react. 1-0.
The equaliser arrived 10 minutes before half-time as Brooks finally made something from one of their countless long throws, Kip reacting brilliantly to turn aside a close range shot, unfortunately straight into the path of ex-Fanziner Paul Hallam who couldn’t miss from six yards. All to play for at half-time and after a positive team talk the management duo were confident that the tide would turn, and so it proved.
The second half was almost a mirror image of the first with the away side on top, led by the unselfish and phenomenal work rate of Gilbert and Heithus up front. It was no surprise when the two combined for the winning goal, Daz robbing Chris Ward on halfway before running on and pulling the ball back to Goals ON HIS RIGHT FOOT! Cue momentary panic on the touchline before the club’s all-time top scorer did the sensible thing and rolled the ball back to Graham whose scuffed shot bobbled its way merrily into the bottom corner, giving the keeper no chance.
More chances went begging as Brooks’ keeper proved himself full value for his side’s man of the match award and the game remained in the balance right until the final whistle. However, apart from a third and final extravagent attempt by Ibbi to persuade the referee that football is a non-contact sport, heart stopping moments in front of Kip’s goal were few and far between as the two banks of four provided the ever-reliable custodian with a solid shield and the two forwards held the ball up at every opportunity to deny Brooks any forward momentum and chance for one last big push. Much delight from the travelling fans at the final whistle and the reward of three points for a team whose composed and professional approach to the 90 minutes deserved just that.
Fanzines United 2 [[Inter FB]] 2
EMPAL Division Two
21st November 2004
With the hitherto unimaginable dilemma of a squad of 14 to choose from and James recovering after a night of cheap vodka and expensive women (that is the right way round isn’t it James?!), Andy and The Gaffer went for the easy option and - with the exception of Stuart in for the on-duty Kip - decided to start with the eleven which had completed much of the match (thanks Dunc!) against Brooks Villa. It was perhaps, then, not surprising to witness a largely defensive performance for the opening half-hour which was most notable for a period of some fifteen minutes during which the referee appeared to give every free-kick the way of the opposition. Stuart’s frustration at this perceived show of one-sided officialdom boiled over after a hefty challenge which saw him bundled over but play waved on. A vociferous and continued questioning of the man in blacks eye sight ended with the Notts FA eight quid better off and the clubs fair play reputation in tatters. The custodian’s decision to then take things out on Gareth was perhaps a little harsh, but the G-man manfully rose to his feet after a swift right hook from Gadders left him pole axed and nursing a nasty cut to the head. A liberally administered dollop of vaseline from Dave’s at-hand tub thankfully negated the need for any further treatment, although questions remain answered as to why Dave was carrying around his own supply of said ointment.
Saved by first a goal line clearance from Jonesy and then the crossbar, things were not looking too good until, maybe subconsciously (or even consciously!) fearful of one of The Gaffer’s infamous half-time rollockings, those in claret and amber upped their game in the ten minutes preceding the whistle, forcing two fine saves from the Inter keeper. As it was, the management duo still demanded more from their chargers and within 30 seconds of the re-start their words had effect, an incisive move down the left ending with Graham Gilbert’s pinpoint cross being slid in by Daz from six yards. Unfortunately the lead didn’t last long, confusion and a momentary lapse in concentration at a long throw letting in Inters nippy number 9 for the equaliser which trickled agonisingly into the net despite Stuart doing well to get a good hand on it. Happily, the response was almost immediate, with GG bursting into the box before being upended in spectacular fashion, leaving the referee with one of the easiest penalty decisions he’s ever likely to have to make. The club’s top scorer picked himself up, wiped the mud from his knees and buried the spot kick with nonchalant ease.
Unlike the recent game against Olympico, taking the lead served as a catalyst for Fanzines to play their best football of the match but, although chances to put the game to bed were plentiful, none of them were taken, which proved to be two points costly when the away side netted their second equaliser some ten minutes from time. The Gaffer and Inter’s burly centre-half exchanged pleasantries near the touchline and, after a short tete-a-tete over facial hair and whose waistline owed most to Mr Pukka, the man sans beard shanked a fifty yard free-kick into the heart of a Fanzines defence which at first didn’t seem to know whether to laugh or cry. Sadly, tears became the only option as the ball broke free and, after what seemed like a lifetime of mis-kicks and a near point-blank save from Gadders, a looping header dropped under the bar and into the corner of the net.
So a share of the spoils against a team who’d beaten us 3-1 only five weeks earlier and the unbeaten record stretched to four games, but the feeling in the changing room afterwards was one of disappointment at not being able to close the gap on those above us. Still, we are proving hard to beat and, as the great Brian Clough used to preach, good teams are built on solid foundations - get things right at the back and the rest will eventually fall into place.
Fanzines United 2 [[Euro Sports Bar]] 2
EMPAL Division Two
5th December 2004
Speculation was rife among the Fanzines squad on the morning of the game; no not the reason behind the managers continued absence but whether Chris Whittaker would smile or not. As it happened no one seemed too bothered about Andy’s whereabouts and Whitts never stopped smiling. The Gaffer took the reins again and was rewarded with a selection dilemma, albeit a good one. Youngpup James (a man of the match contender without even playing) was enjoying a well earned rest while Dan was loved up/under the thumb and Courtney returned to his retirement home. In came Gareth, Ravo, Daz and - fresh from his second mid-season break - a bronzed Aidy Jones who was destined to brighten up the bench with his golden tan. A bit of tweaking with the formation saw Dave and Fred revert to full-backs while Gareth and Ravo resumed their centre-half partnership, Whitts pushed forward into midfield with Rich Shaw and Goals flying down the flanks. Duncan was stuck on the bench and when asked to warm up responded by putting a coat on!!
The opposition were very slow to appear but when they did eventually line-up they appeared to have a very strong side out. And so it proved. Ten minutes into the game and we were 1-0 down. A sluggish start was punished when Lyndon’s cross field back pass was intercepted and well and truly buried past a despairing Kip. It looked like being one of those days but we responded well and settled down instead of panicking. In fact, the claret and amber raised the tempo and there were plenty of gaps at the back for Graham, Garry Goals, and Daz to exploit. Sure enough the three were at the centre of things a few minutes later when we drew level. Weller’s mate received the ball and managed to flick it through to the paunchy policeman who calmly beat the defender and keeper to slot home a well deserved equaliser.
So, 1-1 after 20 minutes and the rest of the half saw Fanzines carve out some good chances. Good talking and patient build up play proved to be the key as we continued to soak up the pressure at the back and looked to expose the opposition’s frailties in defence. Probably the best chance fell to Goals who found himself through on goal but as he steadied himself to surely score the ball took a nasty bobble and his shot blazed over the bar. The keeper then flung himself across goal to keep out Graham’s curling free-kick, turning it behind for a corner, before a blow arrived with a recurrence of Daz’s groin injury, although he managed to soldier on until half-time. At the other end Kip was in commanding form and his handling was excellent, especially from corners and crosses. The back four were now under the cosh and a brilliant save from Kip kept it level as he stood tall to stop a point blank header. Fred then sustained a bad knock and it looked like we were hanging on until taking the lead with a couple of minutes to go to half-time. A deep corner from Graham saw a smiling Whitts bundle the ball over the line at the back post.
Changes had to be made at the break as Dunc came on for Daz and Aidy Jones would soon be swapping his snug tracksuit for a right wing slot as Fred struggled to recover. Everyone seemed up for the second half and knew that we would have to dig in and battle hard if we were to take all three points. The second 45 was indeed a battle but we showed that we were up to the task and everyone played their part as ESB piled on the pressure. A couple of goal-line clearances, some more great saves from the magnificent Kip and excellent defending from the back four kept us in the lead. Whitts was immense in the centre of midfield but we just couldn’t break or keep hold of the ball. A combination of an extremely flag-happy linesman and some poor refereeing would eventually cost us dear. Poor old Lyndon conceded a penalty as the pressure proved too much but to describe it as harsh would be an understatement to say the least. Kip guessed right but couldn’t keep the ball out and ESB drew level at 2-2. This was especially hard to take as just beforehand Graham had had a great opportunity to put us further in front as he went one on one with the keeper who unfortunately out guessed Fanzines' star striker.
Both teams tried to find a winner but we stood firm and a stoic performance was rewarded with a very hard earned point. The whole team realised what a tough battle we’d been in and it’s a testament to how far the team has progressed that we extended our unbeaten run to six matches. There is a great team spirit within the squad but there is also a determination now to help each other out and work as a unit. This was proved by everyone’s willingness to play out of position when required or volunteering to be substitute. This season has shown that we are a tough side to beat and our resilience is now coming to the fore. This maturity had led me to consider awarding the man of the match award to the whole team but unfortunately the captain’s performance cost his fellow team mates! And, despite my preference to award it to James (despite his not playing) I had to give it to Kip for an awesome display under so much pressure. Finally, I’d like to thank the whole squad for two good games and two really strong performances. It was great to see a happy smiling Chris Whittaker before and after the game, especially with the prospect of taking over the captaincy from the deposed Lyndon!!! Keep up the good work lads.
''[[Notts Athletic]] 1 Fanzines United 0''
EMPAL Division Two
12th December 2004
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Lucky seven? Not for the claret and amber as the six game unbeaten run came to an end after a keenly fought contest against second-placed Notts Athletic at Alford Road. The news of a last minute change in referee due to the original appointee being “too drunk to travel” was to have ramifications later in the game but we at least managed to complete 90 minutes, something which was beyond Rose and Crown and Brooks Villa on the pitch next to us who had their game, also sans referee, abandoned after a player on player assault in the 15th minute.
With Daz, Fred and Courtney all failing fitness tests, James recovering from his works night out and Rich in bed after a night spent locking up criminals, the starting eleven picked itself. Unfortunately, a recurrence of Goals’ groin injury after ten minutes necessitated a panic call to Rich who responded in fine style, turning up just 20 minutes later despite mistakenly going first to Gresham. Not a bad response time by any accounts but it could have been so much better had he initially chosen foot ahead of car - Rich lives just 200 yards from Alford Road!
By his arrival we were a goal down, Athletic’s burly striker reacting first to a loose ball in the box to beat Kip from 8 yards for what proved to be the match winner. He then somehow escaped a booking after punching a cross into the net 10 minutes later, a baffling non-decision from the referee which was to prove crucial later in the game when the same player took a flying kick at Gareth from behind, an assault made even worse by his comment - clearly audible 40 yards away on the touchline - that it was in retaliation for a clean challenge made by the g-man seconds earlier. Although the yellow card was produced it should have meant a sending off bearing in mind the earlier indiscretion. In fact it should have been a straight red anyway, and further questions were asked about the relationship between the ref and ‘Tank’ when he escaped a ticking off for kicking the ball away by some distance later in the game. Add to this another clear failure to implement the laws of the game when GG was brought down by a Notts defender on the very edge of the box when clean through and we should have seen out the last quarter of an hour playing against 9 men.
Even with a two man advantage, however, it remains a far from forgone conclusion that the ball would have found its way into the back of the net. Post, bar and frantic goal line defending all played their part in ensuring we finished a game scoreless for the first time this season but it was a lack of conviction when presented with a shooting opportunity which cost us most dear. For a goalkeeper who looked anything but Athletic, Notts’ custodian was not given enough to do, causing an exasperated Andy to issue the non-too-subtle instruction of “just hit the bloody thing” as time ticked on. Even the introduction of The Gaffer as a bulldozing centre-forward failed to find a way through, with Whitts’ injury time effort flying agonisingly wide to epitomise all that had gone before and confirm there was to be no reward for a second half of almost total domination.
So, a first taste of defeat for two months but no reason to panic. After a slow start all round the whole-hearted commitment from each and every player was unquestionable as we went on to control the game for long periods. The back five were as resolute as ever and the midfield, when they got going, bossed proceedings. On another day we could have run out winners by two or three clear goals but in a game when clear scoring opportunities were few and far between, it was Notts’ ability to take one of only a couple which came their way which ultimately proved the difference.
Fanzines United 1 [[Chequers]] 1
EMPAL Division Two
9th January 2005
Down to the bare bones and several of those were struggling to be fit. Doubts over Lyndon, Whitts and Fred (that’s fitness, not ability) with no subs led for a worrying start. However, Fanzines started brightly and everyone gave their all to keep Chequers at bay. Once we’d settled we tried to open the opposition up and their defence looked very shaky. We were rewarded after 17 minutes when G11 had a speculative shot that took a wicked deflection and looped over the goalkeeper and in – Happy New Year! Whitts then had to come off for a few moments while he tried to sort out his breathing and it was with some relief for The Gaffer that Dan turned up to be twelfth man, although the blonde bombshell manfully returned to action.
Half an hour in and Dave played a fantastic ball round the back of the defence and only a blatant foul denied G11 his second. However, justice was not done as Graham’s spot kick was saved by the keeper as appointed spot-kicker Dan stood frustrated on the sidelines. A poor effort, although it has to be said that without G11’s goals this season we would be a lot worse off. However, do not let this man near a spot kick again! A couple of great saves from Kip and some resolute defending by a solid back four then saw the walking wounded through to half-time. Fred was by now really struggling, as were Whitts and Lyndon, but they all agreed to soldier on with sole sub Dan not being 100% fit either.
Another bright start saw Rich Shaw have a couple of half chances but then after an initial burst we seemed to tire and for the next fifteen minutes Chequers put us under a lot of pressure. We looked to have survived when they were awarded a very generous penalty for handball against Dave, which was duly converted. Cue extreme disappointment and to compound matters Fred only lasted 20 minutes of the second 45 before hobbling off to be replaced by Dan. A little reshuffle saw Whitts go back to centre half and Rich play in the centre and Dan on the left of midfield. Both teams looked for a winner but there were no real chances at either end apart from speculative shots from Lyndon, G11 and Dan.
The game ended a little ill-tempered with their forward virtually sitting on Kip, which incensed everyone, but Chequers perhaps deserved a point after seeing out the last 10 minutes with 10 men after running out of subs. We needed more of an attacking option but it just didn’t happen, a fact made even the more frustrating with Garry Goals stood on the touchline and Daz injured. All in all, it was a hard fought point under the circumstances but – as I said at half-time – we need to start winning games. Applicants for the penalty takers job see Andy or myself immediately!
Man of the match – Rich Shaw.
[[Butler United]] 1 Fanzines United 2
EMPAL Division Two
16th January 2005
A return to the EMPAL outpost of Cropwell Butler saw what is fast becoming a happy hunting ground for the claret and amber yield another three points. After the early season defeat of Chequers at the same venue, Fanzines returned hoping that the much promised new changing facilities would at last be in situ. Alas, there was no such luxury awaiting the merry band of men, just the old familiar wooden hut and not a drop of running water in sight. However, with old school plastic chairs at a premium and the air being warmer outside than in, it did at least mean there was plenty of time for warm up and team talk, where Andy and The Gaffer hatched their master plan of playing five in midfield to counteract Butler’s fluent passing game on what must surely be the league’s widest pitch. With Kip working, Fred not fully recovered from his back injury and Duncan unable to venture more than ten yards from a toilet, Stuart, Gareth and Goals all returned to the starting eleven with Courtney taking a place on the subs bench after recovering from his pre-Christmas ankle injury.
Composure reigned supreme straight from kick-off with the away side treating the ball like a long lost lover, caressing and stroking with tenderness while Butler looked on enviously, groping aimlessly for the most fleeting of touches. Twenty minutes gone and with the home side unable to break through the well-marshalled ranks lined up across the centre of the pitch, voices were raised and changes in formation made but all to no avail as within 5 minutes G11 had been upended for a clear penalty. Less transparent was the identity of the taker. After his unfortunate miss the previous week, Graham’s decision to keep things in the family and hand the ball to James came as a surprise to all but Andy, who had identified the clubs youngest - and therefore most fearless - as a “good striker of a dead ball”. And so he proved to be, in just the same way as did Chris Waddle at Italia ’90. Still, an encroachment by a Butler players who was a little too keen in wanting to shake hands with James and congratulate him on a job well done meant a re-take and this time the young left-back made no mistake, showing great character to step up again before cheekily planting his kick against the keeper and knocking in the rebound to register a goal from open play as his debut strike for the club.
In a dastardly move unseen by anyone connected with the club, Butler then replaced the match ball with a hot potato before kicking-off again, meaning that for the next five minutes nobody in a Fanzines shirt wanted anything to do with it and Stuart was called upon to make a brave save at the feet of the home sides centre-forward as he broke clean through. The half-time whistle thankfully brought a change back to more familiar playing apparatus and for 25 minutes the same pattern of play emerged, with the claret and amber hordes leaving not an inch of turf uncovered as they closed down their opponents at every turn. If a goal was to come it was surely to be from a set piece as long throws and corners played into the box via a more than helpful change in wind direction and speed began to cause concern and so it proved, Whitts and Stuart being beaten to a flick-on to allow a close range finish. However, the celebrations of the home side and their ever growing legion of supporters were not to last long as within five minutes the visitors retook the lead, Garry Goals taking advantage of hesitant defending to steady himself and work the ball onto his trusty left foot before finishing emphatically from six yards.
By now James had gone off after taking a nasty but accidental boot in the face to be replaced by the world’s youngest looking 38 year-old (that’s Courtney if you’re in any doubt) and it wasn’t long before Gareth too was limping off after falling awkwardly, Fred manfully stepping up to the plate and filling in at centre-half despite not being 100%. Having replaced two of the back four, Andy and The Gaffer exchanged a worried glance but no more, confidence in the more than adequate replacements as well as those already out on the field giving much optimism that the lead would be held. And so it was. In fact, as the clock ticked on it was the away side who came closest to scoring again, Rich Shaw being denied by a fine save after a surging run, Goals having another close range effort ruled out for offside and Fred planting a free header wide from six yards when it looked easier to score. The final whistle brought much delight as three points were secured for the first time since mid-November. Outstanding performances were many, in fact too many to mention, and the man of the match award is an exceptionally tough one. However, after the accusations of ‘bottling it’ which followed the all for one award against Brooks Villa, there has to be a chosen one and his name is… Graham Gilbert for an unselfish performance full of tireless running, movement and discipline as two great lumbering lumps spent much of Sunday morning trying to pull, grab and kick him at every available opportunity. Not only that, but he had the common sense to hand the penalty kick to James, for which we were all (eventually) grateful!
Fanzines United 2 [[Fox and Crown]] 4
EMPAL Cup
23rd January 2005
Last sixteen of the Cup and a real David v Goliath clash as Fanzines took on reigning First Division champions Fox and Crown. With five squad members missing (for one reason or another, Dan!) it was down to the bare bones of an eleven, with The Gaffer and Andy dressing as emergency subs. After much deliberation it was decided Lyndon would fill the graveyard slot at left-back, with Jonesy moving in to the centre and Dunc coming in on the right of a midfield five. The Fox and Crown line-up included five players from the old John Player Sports and Social team, long-time nemesis of Fanzines from their Notts Friendly League days, although nowadays a few more grey hairs are in evidence! Both teams started nervously and neither goalkeeper had much to do until Kip found himself beaten by a deflected shot at his near post after 20 minutes to give the visitors the lead. Not ten further minutes had elapsed, however, before G11 found himself with time and space to place an excellent equaliser over the advancing keeper. By now there was little ebb and flow about the game as both midfields stood firm and a share of the spoils at half-time looked a dead cert. Less than five minutes before the break, however, and Crown’s centre forward took advantage of a lucky deflection and ricochet to slip the ball beyond Kip from a one-on-one situation.
Andy voiced his disappointment at what he saw as a lack of real passion and desire, with too many challenges not being made and 50/50 balls not being won. In short, while acknowledging we were up against a team who were physically superior and quicker, the opinion of the management team was that we were still capable of upping or game and producing a cup shock. And in fairness, up our game in the second half we did. Crown had obviously marked Graham out as the danger man during their half-time chinwag and their man mountain of a centre-half began the second 45 as though he wasn’t against the idea of breaking the odd leg in his team’s cause, two challenges within 30 seconds of each other producing uproar from those on the touchline and a verbal lashing for the referee from Lyndon after his failure to produce a card. With neither side giving an inch it always looked likely that a piece of individual magic would turn the game and so it proved, Crown’s number nine skipping past three challenges before curling an exquisite left-footer beyond the despairing Kip and into the corner. There then followed an honest exchange of views between Fred and Clive, with neither leaving much doubt as to how they felt, Clive suggesting that a tackle should have been made while Fred ‘politely’ suggesting that Clive keep his opinions to himself. If nothing else, it proved they both care!
Still, heads did not go down and a piece of skill reminiscent of Ronaldinho from Dave Greenwood brought the claret and amber back to within a goal with fourteen minutes left on the watch. Out wide on the right he noticed the keeper slightly off his line and chipped exquisitely beyond his despairing reach into the far corner. Either that or it was an over hit cross that got lucky and floated in on the breeze. Anyway, game on. Duncan had a shot saved at close range by the Crown custodian, a header from Whitts was cleared off the line and G11 had a free-kick tipped over when another couple of inches to the keepers right would surely have seen the scores level. With the game now really opening up Kip produced two magnificent saves at the other end as both midfields started to create rather than destruct. On the touchline, too, things were really heating up, Andy being accused of teaching his team to dive by a Fox and Crown supporting spectator, a comment which had Courtney laughing out loud while the accused somehow managed to hold his tongue.
With both teams trading blow for blow (metaphorically, if not physically) it was now a classic cup tie and great to watch, which made it sad that the final word went to the referee and an outrageously poor penalty decision. Seven minutes to go and a break in to the box by Crown’s flying left winger is ended in sumptuous fashion by a perfectly timed tackle from Dave. No appeals, but the referee points to the spot. Kip, normally the most mild-mannered of individuals, goes ballistic, as do others. Some just stand in disbelief. The penalty is dispatched in expert fashion, just beyond the reach of Kips despairing finger tips, and the cup dream is over for another season. An improved performance in the second half deserved the taking of the game in to extra-time, and much credit all round for standing up to some robust spoiling tactics (have we ever been awarded as many free-kicks for fouls in game?) from a side who seemingly came expecting a much easier game than they got. Man of the match is nip and tuck between Ravo and Dave, both of who were excellent throughout, with the final nod going to Dave as reward for a serious of solid performances at full back over the past couple of months. A result from which we can take great heart, but one which still leaves the niggling feeling, for this scribe at least, of an opportunity lost.
Fanzines United 7 [[Brooks Villa]] 1
EMPAL Division Two
23rd January 2005
That’s right, 7 (seven). It’s not a typo. A result that borders on the surreal but, in all honesty, by the time the final whistle blew was more or less reflective of how the game had gone. But with 25 minutes on the watch, the score at 1-1 and the home side not being allowed to settle into their preferred passing game, anyone suggesting the margin of victory would have ended up anything like it did would have been carried off in a straight jacket. Gareth and Daz both failed Friday fitness tests and James had to pull out just fifteen minutes before kick-off after a troublesome stiff back refused to ease up. With the choice all but made for them, Andy and The Gaffer showed loyalty and stuck with the same eleven and formation which had ended the game at Butler United. Familiarity then sensationally bred the opening goal within 60 seconds of kick-off, G11 acrobatically hooking home after Courtney’s throw had been flicked on. However, the dream start for the home side served only to increase the games tempo further, which seemed to suit Brooks more than their hosts. It was therefore of little surprise and in truth no more than the visitors deserved when ex-Fanziner Paul Hallam bundled the ball in at the far post after Stuart had reacted well to palm out a close range effort from a long throw.
Much celebration from the men in yellow but it was to be virtually the last time they had cause to raise a smile. Within five minutes G11 had been bundled over in the box, leaving the referee with no option but to point to the spot. The Fanzines penalty lottery continued as captain for the day Whitts stepped up to try his luck, but his numbers proved to be as useless as those chosen by Graham and James and his penalty was saved. Thankfully, Goals had used all his experience to realise what was about to happen (the inevitable!) and followed up to clip in the rebound as Chris stood motionless in statuesque horror. With half-time looming and the management duo preparing a ‘talking to’, Jonesy’s perfectly flighted corner found Ravo’s head and Fanzines all-time record signing stooped to make it 3-1. To say he was delighted would be something of an understatement, in fact it was thanks to the half-time whistle that his congratulating team mates didn’t have to chase him all the way to Wilford.
With a two-goal spread the team talk was forthright rather then ferocious but there was no denying the validity of the wake up rollicking delivered by Stuart after Brooks took advantage of indecision on the edge of the box to send a shot inches wide, this barely a minute after the keeper had bailed out his team mates after more lack of conviction. As the custodian himself so eloquently pointed out, “Once is crap, twice is unacceptable”. Seemingly fearful of more tongue-lashings, the claret and amber did indeed wake up and promptly went down the field to make it 4-1, Goals turning and twisting in the box before slotting home with his RIGHT foot.
From then on it was one-way traffic as Fanzines at last found the confidence to open up their opponents at will with a precision passing game which at times was a joy to watch. Ironically it was a route one ball from Fred to Whitts that enabled the blonde bombshell to atone for his earlier gaff and loft the ball over the advancing Fairholme for the fifth. Dan and Duncan came on to enjoy a run out in the Winter sun, Goals being replaced minutes after fluffing a chance to bag his hat-trick but before any sign of a recurrence of his groin injury. With an important cup game next week and an ever lengthening injury list within the squad, this was not the time for taking unnecessary risks. After being denied one cast iron penalty when Rich Shaw rounded the keeper only to be tripped six yards from goal, the referee could hardly contain his mirth as G11 was bear-hugged by a Brooks defender to within an inch of a broken rib cage. Club penalty-taker Dan - at last finding himself in the right place at the right time, i.e. actually on the pitch - looked quizzically towards an equally puzzled management duo on the touchline as Graham himself decide to take the spot-kick, but if you haven’t the confidence to take one when 5-1 up, ten minutes to go and John Salsbury nowhere to be seen, when do you have. Anyway, keeper went one way, ball went the other and for the first time in five attempts we’d managed to bury a spot kick. Eat your heart out David Beckham.
There was just enough time left for Dan to get his goal, bursting free down the left before picking his spot low and hard into the bottom corner before the final whistle brought an end to a hugely satisfying if not always convincing performance. Overall, however, a deserved three points they undoubtedly were and for the first time this season two league wins on the bounce. There were decent displays all over the pitch, from a dependable and resolute back five who kept the dangerous Gordon and Gill at arms length through a midfield five (plus two) who never shied from the responsibility of working both ways and did so with admirable effect, to the lone striker who once again pulled defenders here, there and everywhere. It’s a tough decision, and one in an ideal world I wouldn’t have to make. But the squad insists on just one name, and for the second time in three weeks that name is Richard Shaw. Football. It’s a funny old game sometimes.
[[Ardley Athletic]] 4 - Fanzines United 0
EMPAL Division Two
6th March 2005
Reality dawned on a cold, clear March morning. Dreams of promotion received a sobering blow against a strong & talented Ardley team, whose current league position belies the fact that they retain the nucleus of a side that has spent time in the First Division in the last few seasons. Fanzines however were largely undone by their own sluggishness following a five week lay off and by the sloppy way they approached the game, underestimating both the opponents and the conditions. The game started scrappily on the boggy bitch, preventing any fluency in passing and movement. Neither side created any real chances, but the workrate of the Ardley side was noticeably more impressive and they consistently threatened to break down the flanks on either side. After half-an-hour the deadlock was broken. Ardley's striker attacked down the Fanzines left, outpacing James and cutting inside Fred and Ravo before steadying himself and firing a shot…..which was heading towards the corner flag before it ricocheted of Greenwood's stuttering shins and flopped into the corner. A stroke of ill fortune, but one from which Fanzines never recovered. Moves consistently broke down. Passes were underhit or looped out of play. A rare half-chance for G11 thudded into the keeper's chest. Then just before half-time the Ardley right-midfielder completed an impressive 45 minutes by surging through the exposed defence and burying the ball in the bottom corner. Two-nil at the break.
A shellshocked team attempted to regroup but, without the tactical insights and motivational skills of the management duo, it was difficult to know where to start. What do you do when the whole team is playing badly? The answer would be to increase the workrate and communication, and to make sure that the rare chances were taken when they came along. But the story of the season has been one of missed chances and, as Dan blazed over and G11 had a couple of one-on-ones saved by the keeper during a rare spell of control and dominance, it became clear that this was not going to be the game that bucked the trend. And then it was all over. Another Ardley break down the left exposed the frailties of the Fanzines defence as tackles were missed and the ball was bundled over the line. And minutes later 3 became 4 as Ardley exploited the spaces between midfield and defence, chipping the ball down the channel for the striker to amble forward and calmly loop the ball over Kip's outstretched fingers. This was a game that Fanzines could, and perhaps should, have won. Certainly, Fanzines had more clear cut chances but the commitment and teamwork that had served them so well so far this season was noticeably absent. The season is not over however and with two back-to-back games looming against the league leaders there is still a chance to expunge the memory of the most lacklustre display of the year so far.
[[Pheasant Inn]] 1 Fanzines United 2
EMPAL Division Two
20th March 2005
A trip down memory lane for the old-timers as we visited the Goose Fair site for the first time in many a year for a crucial fixture against the league leaders. The Gaffer suffered despair then delight as news of James’ withdrawal with a sprained ankle was tempered by Whitts passing a late fitness test. After the Ardley debacle the management duo decided on a switch back to the old faithful 4-5-1 formation, a decision which found much favour with Lyndon after he’d seen the size of the pitch - surely the biggest we’ve played on this season. With Kip working, Stuart took up his place between the pipes while Fred filled in at left back, Gareth coming in for his first start for two months. A strong squad was completed with the more than useful options of Daz, Dunc and Courtney on the bench. Andy recalled memories of previous performances at Brooks Villa and Butler United in his team talk, asking for a repeat in discipline, effort and endeavour, which is exactly what he got.
A tight opening twenty minutes saw Fanzines struggle to adjust to the huge pitch but, just as it looked as though we were doing so, a well flighted ball in from the right saw Pheasant’s centre-forward out-jump Stu and loop his header into the unguarded net. The home sides muted celebrations suggested they expected an easy ride from then on in but it was to prove far from the case as the away side dominated the last 15 minutes of the half, getting a well-deserved equaliser as Goals’ deft header from G11’s cross wrong-footed the keeper and nestled in the bottom corner. ‘More of the same’ was the message at half-time and the claret and amber delivered with bells on, pinning Pheasant in their own half for long periods with some marvellously measured possession football.
The central midfield trio were dominant and it was no surprise when Rich burst through and kept his feet, despite a desperate lunge from Pheasant’s lumbering centre-half, to poke the ball past the static keeper. Frustratingly, however, Rich’s delight at opening his Fanzines account was swiftly curtailed by an over zealous referee who had blown for a spot-kick just as the ball entered the net. A bizarre decision, made worse by two factors: 1 - the defender remained on the pitch despite being by some margin the last man and, 2 - we naturally missed the penalty, G11 doing his best Chris Waddle impression and blazing high over the angle. However, rather than unsettle it seemed only to strengthen our resolve and justice was done some ten minutes later, a great run down the left by Goals allowing him to return the favour from the first half and G11 to atone for his earlier miss by getting in front of his man and enough on the ball to turn home the pinpoint cross.
By this time Lyndon’s persistent insistence that he knew the rules better than the referee had earned him a yellow card - and Clive a £14 fine. Daz was brought on to add a bit of muscle up front and within minutes he’d gone on a typically determined run down the right, only a despairing outstretched Pheasant boot preventing his cross being met by either of the onrushing Graham or Rich. At the other end Stuart had been a spectator for much of the second 45 but had to be at his best late on to make three crucial saves and preserve his unbeaten record in a Fanzines jersey this season as the home side pressed for the equaliser. But with Ravo and Gareth at their imperious best there was to be no way back for the hosts and it was Whitts who came close to adding a third with a brave diving header as the visitors safely played out the last few minutes.
The final whistle brought smiles all round - well almost, Lyndon was still trying to take the referee to task over his interpretation of the rules - and the realisation that a first home defeat of the season for Pheasant has left the title race wide open. Man of the match? As previously stated the midfield central trio snubbed out any attempts by Pheasant to play through us and long balls were dealt with comfortably by G’n’R. Dave Greenwood continues to impress and improve as a full back (I just know I’m going to regret writing that!) while there were 1+1’s for the hard working Goals and Graham. Add to that a keeper who kept awake and made saves at crucial times, Fred who slotted in at left back as though he’d never been away and Jonesy who started slowly but blossomed in the second half, getting involved, putting in tackles and generally looking as though he’d rediscovered his early season form, and you have a very difficult decision. So I’m going to go with what appeared to be the majority vote in the changing room after the game and give it to Rich Shaw, if only to go some way to making up for him being denied his first goal for the club. It will happen Rich, it will happen!
Fanzines Utd 2 [[Pheasant Inn]] 2
EMPAL Division Two
3rd April 2005
The business end of the season arrived with Fanzines knowing that promotion was only a possibility if they could string together an unprecedented sequence of results from the final four consecutive games at fortress Gresham. First up was the return bout against league leaders Pheasant Inn. The 2-1 away win from a fortnight ago had clearly instilled a belief that another three points were in the bag, even in the absence of the previously ever-present Lyndon and Gilbert. And it was Fanzines that looked the most comfortable from the start, controlling the game and twice hitting the woodwork in the opening ten minutes. Whitts' scuffed shot from Jones' underhit corner bobbled against the left upright, and then minutes later a flick on from a throw struck the right post and bounced clear. Pheasant's position as league champions elect was once more under threat, which is why it was such a shock when they took the lead. From a long throw on the left the Pheasant forward rose with the two Fanzines centre-backs and the ball accelerated off the contesting foreheads and looped into the far corner of the net. Less composed teams may have begun to panic, especially when Garry limped off with a recurrence of his bad leg saga, but this bunch of players are either too indifferent or too mature to let a minor setback affect their performance.
James came on to significantly lower the average age of the team, Daz began to occupy the attentions of the back four, and parity was earned when Whitts drilled in an equaliser after another corner-induced scramble. Definitely not an O.G., despite the multiple deflections on the way. Once again it was Fanzines who were dictating the play, urged on by the hobbled Gaffer who even vacated his chair in the heat of the moment only to find it occupied on his return by the watching Marathon Dan. Even Andy was briefly distracted from his dual task of failing to aquire Glastonbury tickets and failing to tap up next season's star striker, as he barked orders from the sideline.
And in the midst of this a tiny mistake, as Ravo allowed a comfortable through ball to roll under his foot, presenting the Pheasant striker with a clear run on goal which he accepted gladly by drilling a left foot finish under the despairing Kip. 1-2, and a sense of disbelief at half-time with the season in the balance. But the second half was a mess. And in the mess were chances. And the chances were missed. Rich Shaw failed to break his duck following a good move involving James and Daz down the left. Whitts had a goal ruled out for offside. Pheasants, meanwhile, had a lot of the ball but rarely threatened, though Grumpy Greenwood did make a good last ditch tackle and then a last ditch clearance ahead of the onrushing striker, both in the space of five minutes. And whilst Fanzines were largely silent, Pheasant first began squabbling with each other and then the ref as the time ticked by.
For Fanzines though, the game appeared to be slipping away. Jones was replaced by Courtney, and Duncan moved up front in a slightly more attacking 4-4-2 formation, but the passing was increasingly disjointed and rushed on the bumpy pitch. All hope was gone, and then...suddenly, composure. From Duncan. And James. And Daz. And the ball was lashed into the roof of the net. A deserved equaliser. 2-2. Moments later the whistle blew and Fanzines had a point. The general feeling was that it should've been three, despite the comments of "Lucky" coming from Pheasants' portly number 10, but in the circumstances it was a great result. Pheasants certainly have some decent players but it is by no means certain that they will win their remaining games, whilst Fanzines must feel that second place, at least, is still there for the taking, if form and commitment continues. Here we go then...
Loweys man of the match: Chris Whittaker
Fanzines United 0 [[FC Olympico|Olympico]] 3
EMPAL Division Two
10th April 2005
Having already witnessed one dismal 3-0 home defeat, the Forest-supporting members of the squad were hoping for a pick-me-up from the ‘must win’ game against mid-table FC Olympico. What they got, unfortunately, was more of the same after a second half capitulation that left players and management alike stunned. With another healthy turn-out tough decisions were faced by Andy and The Gaffer over team selection, decisions which those who were left out could say with every justification at the final whistle were made wrongly.
At half-time, however, everything, while not looking rosy, was certainly looking promising. The football at times was impressive on a difficult surface, with short interchange of passing to the fore and chances created. However, a total of four one-on-ones went begging in the opening period while two mad scrambles in front of the Olympico goal also failed to see the ball forced over the line. At the other end chances were fewer but the warning signs were there when Kip was forced into a brilliant one-handed reaction save down to his right to deny the visitors the lead just before the break as we switched off for the last ten minutes of the half. Unfortunately, despite a half-time warning, it’s fair to say we failed to switch back on. That the game was lost 3-0 was, in fairness, probably not down to a lack of effort but as Olympico’s gobby but skilful number 9 took the game by the scruff of the neck we failed to offer barely anything in return. He finished with a fine opportunist hat-trick while we struggled to muster a single effort on goal in a strangely disjointed second half display, arguably our worst of the season.
The changing room afterwards was like a morgue but, after a season which has produced so many positives, we should perhaps not get too despondent over 45 minutes worth of disappointment, especially as Pheasant Inn’s 3-2 win over Inter FB means the dream of promotion is still alive as we prepare for Sundays game against Ardley Athletic
Fanzines United 2 [[Ardley Athletic]] 1
EMPAL Division Two
17th April 2005
Two games remaining, six points required. A simple equation and a simple team selection for Andy and The Gaffer with only eleven squad players available. Team formation was a different matter, however, with Dave and Fred being pushed into centre mid alongside Rich in place of the missing Whitts and Lyndon, and Dunc coming in on the right in place of Jonesy. Courtney took over at right back and Stuart was back between the sticks in place of Kip, the Englishman in New York. All change, then, from the previous weeks setback and it was a reshuffle that thankfully produced a much improved all round performance.
Ardley were boosted by the late arrival of big Sam but their reliance on the long ball in his direction was a surprise and played into the hands of a resolute defence who repelled the danger with little alarm as the ball was, quite literally, thrown in from all angles. Half-time approached with barely a chance worthy of the name created at either end although the home side had looked the most threatening with some quality passages of play, all of which frustratingly seemed to break down on the edge of their opponents box. But then, a moments hesitation from the claret and amber and the visitors pounced, taking a touch and slotting past the despairing Stuart for an undeserved lead at the break.
The half-time team talk was positive - more of the same and the opportunities will come. And they did. Ten minutes in and G11 took full advantage of a handling error by Ardley’s keeper to slot home past two covering defenders from an ever decreasing angle. It was a difficult finish made to look easy by the club’s top scorer and one which helped erase the memory of some out-of-sorts finishing from the week before. Any remaining cast backs were then obliterated when, just two minutes from the final whistle, the same man was on hand six yards out to turn in Dave Greenwood’s expertly flighted corner from the right. Joy all round as all three points were secured to leave a last game of the season showdown with Notts Athletic for the second automatic promotion spot.
Ardley’s captain was generous enough to admit afterwards that we deserved to win because we played the better football and wanted it more, a summing up with which I can find no argument. Challenges were made for every ball, players backed each other up all over the pitch and when we did get the ball on the deck we looked to use it in the way BC intended. The man of the match award provoked much deliberation with the management duo failing to agree for the first time this season, leaving James and Fred to take the honour jointly. The remaining nine can all consider themselves desperately unlucky not to have made the cut, however, and with players returning to the squad for Sunday’s ‘cup final’ it’s sure to be a week of sleepless nights for Andy and The Gaffer as they ponder team selection. But who would have it any other way? After a season of much promise and a number of quality performances there can be little argument that the club deserves to be in a position where something tangible is within its grasp. Bring on the weekend!
The 2005/06 season saw Fanzines United make amends for the [[previous year's|2004-05]] last-gasp failure by winning promotion to EMPAL Division 1, despite missing out on the title due to a last match defeat to the pesky [[TRD|Total Reclaims Demolition]].
''EMPAL Division 2''
|!Pos | !Team | !Pl | !W| !D | !L| !F|!A|!GD|!Pts|
|1| [[Brinsthorpe Rangers]] | 20|13|4|3|50|25|25|43|
|2| [[Fanzines United]] |20 |13|2|5|56|32|24|41|
|3| [[Rushcliffe SHR]] | 20|12|4|4|57|25|32|40|
|4| [[Total Reclaims Demolition]] |20|10|4|6|66|49|17|34|
|5| [[FC Olympico|Olympico]] |20|10|3|7|59|53|6|33|
|6| [[Chequers]] |20|9|6|5|41|37|4|33|
|7| [[Ardley Athletic]] |20|8|1|11|48|52|-4|25|
|8| [[Inter FB]] | 20|5|4|11|39|61|-22|19|
|9| [[Victoria Palace]] | 20|6|1|13|43|67|-24|19|
|10| [[Butler United]] |20|3|5|12|33|67|-34|14|
|11| [[Brooks Villa]] |20|3|2|15|38|61|-23|11|
[[Match Reports 2005-06]]
[[Player of the Year|Ian Swanton Trophy]]: [[Stephen Connor]]
[[Top Goalscorer]]: ''31'' [[Stephen Connor]]
''@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;Results@@''
| !Date | !Competition | !Opposition | !Score | !Result | !H/A | !Venue | !Scorers |
| 04/09/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[GM Olympico|Olympico]] | 5-0 | W | H | [[Gresham]] |Sowerbutts, Connor 2, Heithus 2 |
| 11/09/05 | EMPAL Div2 | Rushcliffe SHR | 0-1 | L | A | | |
| 25/09/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Butler United]] | 4-2 | W | H | [[Gresham]] |Heithus 2, Connor, Gilbert |
| 02/10/05 | [[EMPAL Cup]] | [[Benfica]] | 2-2 | L | H | [[Gresham]] |Connor 2 |
| 09/10/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Victoria Palace]] | 4-2 | W | A | [[Gresham]] |Greenwood, Gilbert, Heithus 2 |
| 16/10/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Chequers]] | 1-1 | D | H | [[Gresham]] |Gilbert |
| 23/10/05 | [[County Cup]] | [[Radcliffe Olympic A]] | 5-6 | L | H | [[Gresham]] |Collinson, Connor 2, Gilbert 2|
| 30/10/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Inter FB]] | 4-0 | W | H | [[Gresham]] |Connor, Doorly, Collinson |
| 06/11/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Nevabeen Athletic]] | 10-0 | W | A | [[Gresham]] |Connor 5, Collinson 2, Timpson, Smith 2 |
| 13/11/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Inter FB]] | 2-3 | L | A | Stockhill Lane |Smith, Heithus |
| 27/11/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Chequers]] | 3-2 | W | A | [[Cropwell Butler]] |Connor, Shaw, Collinson |
| 11/12/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Brinsthorpe Rangers]] | 6-1 | W | H | [[Gresham]] |Connor 3, Smith 2, Jones|
| 15/01/06 | EMPAL Div2 | [[GM Olympico|Olympico]] | 4-1 | W | A | [[Farnborough Road]] |Connor 3, Smith |
| 22/01/06 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Ardley Athletic]] | 2-1 | W | A | [[Victoria Embankment]] |o.g., Cowlard |
| 29/01/06 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Brooks Villa]] | 2-1 | W | A | [[Chilwell Olympia]] |Smith, Heithus |
| 05/02/06 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Victoria Palace]] | 3-2 | W | H | [[Elms Park]] |Connor, Smith 2 |
| 12/02/06 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Brooks Villa]] | 2-1 | W | H | [[Elms Park]] |Collinson 2 |
| 19/02/06 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Nevabeen Athletic]] | 11-0 | W | H | [[Elms Park]] |Connor 5, Collinson, Remzi 2, Smith, Heithus, Doorly |
| 12/03/06 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Ardley Athletic]] | 3-0 | W | H | [[Gresham]] |Smith 2, Remzi |
| 19/03/06 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Brinsthorpe Rangers]] | 1-3 | L | H | |Collinson |
| 26/03/06 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Total Reclaims Demolition]] | 5-3 | W | H | [[Elms Park]] |Connor 4, Remzi |
| 02/04/06 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Butler United]] | 0-1 | L | A | [[Cropwell Butler]] | |
| 09/04/06 | EMPAL Div2 | Rushcliffe SHR | 2-2 | D | H | [[Elms Park]] |Whittaker, Collinson |
| 26/04/06 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Total Reclaims Demolition]] | 3-5 | L | A | South Normanton |Connor, Collinson 2 |
''@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;Players Stats@@''
| !Player | !Apps | !Goals |
| [[Paul Ravenscroft]] | 24 | 0 |
| [[Rich Shaw]] | 22 | 1 |
| [[Adam Collinson]] | 22 | 12 |
| [[Stephen Connor]] | 22 | 31 |
| [[Garry Smith]] | 21 | 12 |
| [[Joe Doorly]] | 21 | 2 |
| [[Adrian Jones]] | 20 | 1 |
| [[Lyndon Cowlard]] | 20 | 1 |
| [[Neil Remzi]] | 19 | 4 |
| [[Fred Lowe]] | 17 | 0 |
| [[Chris Whittaker]] | 16 | 1 |
| [[Dave Greenwood]] | 16 | 1 |
| [[Gareth Sowerbutts]] | 15 | 1 |
| [[Kip Broughton]] | 14 | 0 |
| [[Darren Heithus]] | 14 | 9 |
| [[James Timpson]] | 14 | 1 |
| [[Graham Gilbert]] | 9 | 5 |
| [[John Wood]] | 4 | 0 |
| [[Duncan Richmond]] | 3 | 0 |
| [[Stuart Gadsby]] | 3 | 0 |
| [[Ian Cairney]] | 3 | 0 |
| [[Dan Brown]] | 2 | 0 |
@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:18pt;A Season’s Review@@
''by [[Dave Greenwood]] //(in the spirit of Stuart Hall)//''
Anguish. Pain. How can you mend a broken heart? The amber tinged clarets had touched the hem of Division 1 in 2005, but that hem was whisked from their grasp in a final game failure. Could the oaken-hearted team defy their creaking limbs? Had they missed their boat to the higher land? In a league full of ferocious foes, they would need ablutions of luck and no little talent to survive. So hail to the pantheons for the bestowal of the holy trinity; [[Connor|Stephen Connor]], [[Collinson|Adam Collinson]] and [[Doorly|Joe Doorly]]. Such pace! Such skill! Such hair! Add to that the return of [[Remzi|Neil Remzi]], the impish irritant, and Fanzines had the firepower they needed. How destructive could they be?
Even absent keepers couldn’t deny a first game victory, a handsome five-nil rout of the erratic Olympico. [[Heithus|Darren Heithus]], combining the power and weight of both Nat Lofthouse and Dixie Dean, bludgeoning two impressive goals. And though narrow defeat followed at the hands of Rushcliffe, fear not!, the squad was weakened by absence, the curse of the Sunday League. Refortified and reinvigorated, points three were claimed against the formally fearsome Butler, truly a game of two halves, with [[Gilbert|Graham Gilbert]] flying and fizzing, the form of his life. Then cup anguish against Benfica. Twice victory was earnt and lost. Never trust a left footed penalty taker! Back to the league, and another win. The Palace crumbled after a tale of penalties two. [[Fred|Fred Lowe]] the heroic hands in goal. A second half onslaught with Heithus again leading the line and the way. A point against the mighty Chequers, small comfort after a thunderous performance. But comfort indeed compared to the heartbreak of losing by one in an eleven goal County Cup spectacular. Maybe not peerless, but these First Division sides know how to fight their way to the top.
Wins against Inter and Nevabeen. The cleanest sheets of the year, and fifteen goals in the bank. Connor was beginning to shine. [[Shaw|Rich Shaw]] driving the team from the centre. But Gilbert, a player with dynamite in his shorts, struck by injury, his season finished. A defining moment. The team was drifting. A ghastly display in the return match against Inter. Now was the time. Was achievement beyond the reach of these boys? What followed is being transcribed into the record books even as you scan this page, dear reader. Never were such things dreamt of. Nine wins in nine games. Displays of passion and strength, of courage and skill.
Chequers condemned to a first defeat of the season, with Connor drawing gasps of awe from the watching sheep at Cropwell Butler. League leaders Brinsthorpe humbled and completely outplayed in a 6-1 exhibition. The biggest defeat of the season for the eventual champions. Another treble for Connor, a brace for the resurgent [[Smith|Garry Smith]]. One last hurrah? The bothersome Olympico, dispatched in fifteen goal-strewn minutes. Another hatful for Connor. [[Whittaker|Chris Whittaker]] back in the fold, a defence as resolute as could be imagined. [[Greenwood|Dave Greenwood]] and Doorly flying up the flanks. [[Ravenscroft|Paul Ravenscroft]], ever present and ever steady. The Ardley battlers set their usual challenge but were overcome. Captain [[Cowlard’s|Lyndon Cowlard]] moment of glory. A headed winner! Then the thunderous challenge of Brooks Villa, desire and frustration spiralling out of control. Another Smith tap-in and a last gasp winner from Heithus. Cry havoc and let slip the Daz of war!
To Elms Park , the palatial setting for the Victoria rematch. The lofty and muscular giants initially intimidating, then complaining. Fanzines outplaying and outscoring the visitors; [[Mr Lowe|Andy Lowe]] on the cusp of fighting for the cause on the sideline. Another single goal victory against the seething Brooks, their season spiralling downwards as their opponents soared. Collinson running the game and taking the plaudits. Eight first-half goals in an 11-0 win against the dispirited Nevabeen, soon to disband, and another clean sheet for Broughton against Ardley, with wide-boys Smith and Remzi inflicting the damage.
Top of the table and out of sight. Promotion looked assured. Last year’s failure was avenged. But the crown was still not won. Where was the twist in this drama? First, defeat at Brinsthorpe, a game best forgotten but the pain of points lost to rivals does not wash away. A battling win against the spiteful Total Reclaims salvaged points and pride. Connor again the star. But all stars fade, and defeat to Butler was a shocking low. No comfort was taken in the relegating of Brooks after this result. The title was all. Two games to go. Two goals up against third place Rushcliffe with thirty minutes left. Surely the glory was theirs. But no! Goals of wonder and blunder, and only a draw. Enough, in the end, to clinch promotion. But the relentless Brinsthorpe pushed all the way, their errant loss to Nevabeen wiping their slate clean. The title would still have to be won but Reclaims would not be demolished. Songs would have been sung about the heroic comeback in that second half. From 2-0, to 3-3. From 3-3 to a one goal lead in the last minute? No! The chance was lost. With it the game. With it the title. Defeat. Defeat! But success. And pride. A momentous season, of records and achievement, of loyalty and camaraderie. Let them not forget, for next year they begin anew.
@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:18pt;Andy's Top Ten Favourite Moments of the Season 2005-06@@
''[[Daz's celebration after his last minute winner against Brooks Villa 29/01/06|2006-01-29 Brooks Villa 1 Fanzines 2]]''
By his own admission the 'big, bustling forward' was out on his feet when the ball was played into him thirty yards out. He managed to carry it to just inside the box before, summing up his last reserves of energy, he poked the ball goalwards...and watched as it squeezed into the bottom corner of the net. from somewhere he found second wind, setting off towards his delirious team mates in celebration and attempting to left his shirt over his head...only to find it getting stuck somewhere around his upper midrift. "The neck hole was too small" he later complained. Yeah, whatever Daz!
''Adam Collinson's header against Ardley Athletic, pre-season 21/08/05''
It seems a long, long time ago now but Adam's bullet header into the top corner from a Jonesy corner swung to the egde of the box still lights up this particular memory. If you're going to signal your return to the club you might as well do it in style, and the returnees awesome effort from 18 yards out had both his new team mates and the opposition gawping in disbelief.
''[[Steve's twelve minute hat-trick against GM Olympico 15/01/06|2006-01-15 GM Olympico 1 Fanzines 4]]''
Second against third and our first match back after the Christmas break. With Fanzines notoriously slow starters after any sort of time off, Andy and The Gaffer were worried men priot to this game against the free scoring GM Olympico. Twelve minutes after kick off and a display of finishing of the highest order from Stevo later, they were found with cigars on, talking about what they were having for lunch.
''[[Fred's penalty save against Victoria Palace 09/10/05|2005-10-09 Victoria Palace 2 Fanzines 4]]''
Playing like a bunch of strangers and 2-1 down, the penalty save made by the club's fourth choice keeper on the stroke of half-time should not be underestimated. Flinging himself away to his right, it was a pivotal moment in both the match, which we came back to win 4-2, and, who knows, perhaps the season. As Fred will proudly tell you, he is also the only Fanzines keeper to have saved a penalty in open play this season.
''[[Jonesy's celebration after his forty yard free-kick against Brinsthorpe Rangers|2005-12-11 Fanzines 6 Brinsthorpe Rangers 1]]''
Well I say forty yards, it could well have been fifty. And I say celebration, it was more like a look of sheer astonishment as he turned to face us on the touchline, chest out, arms open and with just a nod of acknowledgement. Having done his job and 'kept the shape', Jonesy's moment of magic was well deserved. A great strike.
''[[Joe's goal gainst Inter FB 30/10/05|2005-10-30 Fanzines 4 Inter FB 0]]''
If Jonesy's was a fifty-yarder then this sublime effort from Joe was at least sixty! Advancing from the left-back spot into the opponents half and looking up to see the keeper off his line, Joe decided to try his luck and launched the ball goalwards. As Clive set off for the swamp behind the goal with fishing net in hand we all stood ready to chastise Mr Doorly for giving up possession in a promising position when the ball began to do strange things, looping and swerving before falling deftly to earth, under the bar and into, not Clive's net, but THE net. His first ever goal for the club and, as a bench mark, one he's unlikely to better.
''[[The last minute penalty missed by Rushcliffe SHR 09/04/06|2006-04-09 Fanzines 2 Rushcliffe SHR 2]]''
Stuart will claim he psyched the penalty taker out and by the power of zen forced him to place his kick wide. The rest of us will say that was the least he could have done after giving away the spot kick following a badly shanked goal kick! Having been reprieved so close to victory it was then somewhat galling to concede in the forth minute of injury time and share the spoils after all.
''[[Stephen's opener against Brinsthorpe Rangers 11/12/05|2005-12-11 Fanzines 6 Brinsthorpe Rangers 1]]''
A great move and a tremendous finish. With no back lift Stevo found the net from just inside the box with a strike of sheer venom that left the keeper motionless. Looking at him you wouldn't think he had it in him. Fred, standing on the touchline, was "right behind it, what a strike, what a beautiful strike" and hasn't stopped talking about it since.
''Jimbo's new hairdo''
He turned up for the match against Victoria Palace with hooded top on and, finding himself among the substitutes, kept his hooded top on. Nothing strange in that, it was a cold and wet day. What was strange is that the very same hooded top remained up for the duration of the ninety minutes and was still in place in the changing room after the game. Whitts decided to look investigate what it was that young Jimbo was so keen to keep hidden, and unveiled a hairdo of (thankfully) rare abhorrence. So frightful was it, in fact, that it very nearly got its own ASBO. The youth of today, I ask you.
''[[Rich Shaw's goal against Chequers 27/11/05|2005-11-27 Chequers 2 Fanzines 3]]''
I never thought I'd see the day, but after what seemed like a lifetime of waiting Rich finally bagged his first for the club on 27 November 2006. From all of ten yards and via his right shin, it may not have been the thirty yarder of his dreams but it got the monkey off his back and saw the Shaw grin spread wider than ever. Needless to say he's not troubled a goalkeeper since.
Fanzines United (2) 5 [[FC Olympico|Olympico]] (0) 0
EMPAL Division Two
4 Sep 2005
A wonderfully warm and bright late Summer Sunday morning heralded the start of the new EMPAL season. Andy and The Gaffer had spent the previous 48 hours pondering and pontificating over team selection, eventually deciding to hand new boy Steve Connor his debut up front alongside new old boy Adam Collinson. Further new old boys Ian Cairney and Neil ‘Twiggy’ Remzi were on the bench while, with Kip working and Stuart on baby-sitting duty, Fred was handed the opportunity to build on his impressive record between the sticks. For the opening 20 minutes Olympico gave every indication they were going to prove troublesome opponents. Fred had to react quickly to block an effort low down to his right with his feet and there were further scares with a couple of efforts flying just over the bar. All this and the home side had yet to register a clear effort on goal. Things got no better when Adam limped off just 15 minutes into his return, his niggling ankle injury unfortunately getting the better of him. The call went up for Daz to get warm and ‘the bustling number nine’ entered the fray with a point to prove.
Within five minutes Fanzines had taken the lead, Jonesy’s superb inswinging corner eventually being prodded home by Gareth as Olympico’s custodian stood rooted to his line. Ten minutes later and the best bit of football in the match so far led to a doubling of the advantage. A neat triangle between Jimbo, Lyndon and Graham eventually led to G11 slipping the ball through to Steve. Just too far we thought, but the new man's pace and tenacity paid off as he chased the ball down, confounding the keepers attempted clearance and slotting the ball into the unguarded net. 2-0 at half-time and without playing anywhere near our fluent best, the game was there for the taking.
Within fifteen minutes of the restart it was virtually all over. Twice G11 got free down the left and twice he cut the ball back with pin point accuracy. First for Daz to roll the ball home from almost on the line via what appeared eventually to be his belly and second time around for Steve to rifle home and double his tally. By now Olympico were playing very much as individuals, allowing Fanzines steadfast back four to nullify any threat at source and Fred to coast towards his clean sheet. Daz went clean through ten minutes from time to round the keeper and cooly roll home the fifth and only a bizarre decision by the lineswoman denied him his hat-trick as the game entered its closing stages. But in a game of pleasing performances all round it was perhaps apt that no-one took too much of the limelight.
The Gaffer was taking no prisoners in the changing rooms after the game when he made Gareth man of the match but he’s not fooling anyone and it can only be a matter of time before young Jimbo is back in the frame. Special mentions also to Steve for a brace on his debut, Daz for responding magnificently after the disappointment of being left on the bench and G11 who was poacher turned provider with three quality assists.
Team: Lowe S, Greenwood, Timpson, Ravenscroft, Sowerbutts, Cowlard, Jones (Smith), Shaw, Connor (Remzi), Collinson (Heithus), Gilbert. Sub not used: Cairney.
Scorers: Connor x 2, Heithus x 2, Sowerbutts.
[[Rushcliffe SHR]] (0) 1 Fanzines United (0) 0
EMPAL Division Two
11 Sep 2005
The second game of the season saw an under strength Fanzines with just 11 squad players thanks to a combination of the Robin Hood marathon, holidays and work commitments. With Kip being one of the aforementioned holidayers, Stuart injuring himself playing for Rudd the previous day and Fred needed to play the midfield holding role, Woody stepped in to make his Fanzines debut between the pipes against the Notts FA Minor Cup holders. Also making his debut at left back was Joe, while there was a first start of the season up front for Twiggy alongside Steve.
The opening 20 minutes saw the customary slow start by the claret and amber with the home side very much on top but being kept at arms length by a resolute back four. The arrival of club legend Benny ‘Lad’ Smith as a spectator provided Andy with some much appreciated company and seemed to serve as a catalyst for an upping of the effort and a resultant much closer 25 minutes to half-time. Chances were few and far between with Woody relatively untroubled bar a couple of long range efforts which he dealt with comfortably while at the other end Steve’s lively performance had him marked out by the Rushcliffe right back as a major threat, an ‘accolade’ which saw him unceremoniously kicked up in the air just before the break.
The second half carried on in much the same vein with both sides trying to play football but finding their efforts for the main part cancelled out by the other giving them very little space in which to do it. It always looked likely that just one goal would decide things and so it proved, unfortunately not in Fanzines’ favour. A poor referring decision against Jonesy out on the touchline gave Rushcliffe a free kick which was delivered with much precision and no little skill into the box to be met by SHR’s 6 foot plus striker who, having done virtually nothing all game, got his head to the ball and found the bottom corner of the net.
In the five minutes which followed Fanzines produced their best two efforts of the match, Rich Shaw watching in amazement/agony as his LEFT footer from the edge of the box flew an inch over the angle of bar and post with the keeper stranded while Steve’s powerful right foot volley was well kept out by the Rushcliffe custodian as it found it’s way through a forest of bodies. Although pressing hard until the final whistle we were unable to find a way through and slipped to a first defeat of the season but there are many positives to be taken from the performance. Despite the lack of numbers all twelve who turned out gave their all and there is no doubt that on another day it could have been us walking off at the end with a single goal victory. Contenders for man of the match were many but a gutsy performance from Joe who dug in and refused to let a very good right winger get the better of him sees him sneak the award for this week.
Team: Wood, Doorly, Timpson, Sowerbutts, Ravenscroft, Lowe S, Jones, Shaw, Connor, Remzi (Cairney), Gilbert.
''Fanzines United (4) 4 [[Butler United]] (0) 2''
EMPAL Division Two
25 Sep 2005
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Football is not about winning, it's about glory, and for fifteen goal-strewn, first-half minutes Fanzines produced a display that was both glorious to watch and effectively won the game. Bookending this period of clinical creativity however was a game which was both competitive and hard fought, against a tall, strong and powerful Butler side.
The visitors made a start that was as bright and crisp as the September morning, penning Fanzines in their own half and attempting to exploit the aerial ability of their forwards from a series of crosses and throw-ins. Resolute and committed defending allowed the home side to withstand the early pressure, but there was little sign of the dominant period ahead. It was therefore against the run of play when Fanzines suddenly began to exploit the space on the flanks against the three man midfield of the opposition.
Minutes after a dubious penalty decision had been given and then revoked by the rasping gasp of the ref (following a chat with Twiggy, his possibly mutinous assistant), a cross from the right bypassed the penalty box and fell to the feet of G11 who wisely decided not to use his wrong foot as he cut inside his man and cracked a shot which glanced off an onrushing defender and into the net.
Fanzines celebrated by pushing forward in waves, controlling the ball and beginning to pass their way through and around the opposite ranks. G11 in particular was having a sparkling period on the wing, beating the full-back with pace and skill on numerous occasions. It was from his cross that Fanzines doubled their league as Gilbert drilled the ball into the box and, following an inadvertant stepover from Jonesy, Daz controlled the ball with one foot and then prodded it into the corner with the other. In fact, Daz was beginning to lead the line with authority, rewarding the management's decision to start with the big fella up front rather than the returning Adam. And Daz's strike partner was soon to benefit from the controlled chaos being wreaked, as Steve accelerated onto a chipped through-ball from G11 and lofted the ball over the stranded keeper. 3-nil, and minutes later Lyndon (yes, Lyndon!) created an opening with a guided pass to the feet of the rampaging Daz who powered straight at the back four and steerd a shot into the bottom corner.
And it was over. Effectively.
Butler pulled themselves together and Fanzines reverted back to the form of the pre-havoc struggle. Andy was clearly unhappy with the overall performance, despite the comfortable lead, and urged his team at half-time to stop scoring goals and deliver a clean sheet. His team were happy to accommodate one of his demands, as they started the second half in a partcularly charitable mood, no doubt inspired by the shiny big cheque and photo session which they'd preened themselves for during the break. Butler attacked with increased passion and vigour, gaining a dominance in midfield and exerting significant pressure on the formerly inpenetrable defence. Overloading down the flanks and exposing the full-backs, a Butler cross from the left was perfectly flighted as it dipped into the six yard box and was steered in at the near post by the forward.
Soon after, a series of raking passes found the leggy left-winger in space and, as Dave struggled to close him down, he drifted outside the full-back, through a challenge from the covering Gareth and then drilled the ball cleverly past Kip. If Fanzines were to throw the game away then this was to be the time, but Butler failed to expose any perceived weakness and instead vented their frustrations on the ref's random decisions and the mostly flawless flag-waving of Andy (who received a ball in his face as a reward).
The game drifted to a conclusion, and as Fanzines trudged off the field it would've been dificult for an observer to guess which of the two teams was the winning side. Only as the season progresses will the team begin to appreciate that this was an excellent result against a tough team, the kind of result that is required if success is to be achieved this year.
Team: Broughton, Greenwood, Doorly, Ravenscroft, Sowerbutts, Cowlard, Jones (Remzi), Shaw, Connor (Smith), Heithus (Collinson), Gilbert.
Scorers: Heithus x 2, Connor, Gilbert.
Fanzines United (0) (1) 2 [[Benfica]] (0) (1) 2 aet
Benfica win 4-3 on penalties
EMPAL Cup 1st round
2 Oct 2005
The Cup, someone once said, is a great leveller. Well, this game between unbeaten Benfica of the First Division and in-form Fanzines of the Second wasn’t just levelled by the underdog but turned upside down and shaken until all its loose change fell out. Unfortunately, however, it was the opposition who picked up the lucky penny and ran as Fanzines were robbed of a much deserved cup upset in heartbreaking fashion after 120 minutes of gargantuan effort.
With top scorer Heithus and midfield general Shaw off catching criminals, Goals was handed his first start of the season with G11 pushed into service up front and Adam coming in to partner Lyndon.
Much was made by Andy and The Gaffer in the pre-game prep talk of the need to start in positive fashion and their charges didn’t disappoint, creating three opportunities inside the opening ten minutes. The referee had barely taken his whistle from his mouth before G11 flashed a cross shot inches wide and the same man forced the keeper into a save with his legs two minutes later. When the ball found its way to Goals just six yards out and an open goal gaping those on the touchline were already celebrating. However, the veteran striker’s right foot is unfortunately not as trustworthy as his left and the ball came back off the post to further frustrate the rampant home side. Steve’s angled drive then flew inches over the bar before the game’s first turning point as Adam’s niggling ankle injury got the better of him and he was forced to retire with just 15 minutes on the clock. The early substitution appeared to knock the stuffing out of the home side and the game became more evenly balanced although Kip’s cigar remained lit throughout the remainder of the first half with the best chance again falling to Goals whose near post header flashed the wrong side of the post.
The second 45 again brought virtually nothing in the way of creativity from the away side whose over-reliance on the long ball to the Andy Johnson lookalike up front was food and drink to the ever unflappable Gareth and Ravo. The longer the game went on the more likely it seemed one goal would decide it so when Steve’s exquisite finish found the back of the net with 20 minutes to go following fine work from Lyndon and G11 the shock of the round looked very much on the cards. Benfica’s answer was to go even more long ball, bringing on a long throw expert who delivered a succession of spherical missles into the six yard box from anywhere over the half way line. The game could and should have been put to bed seven minutes form time but Twiggy blazed over from six yards after great wing play from Ian Cairney and, after defending so well for so long, the cruellest of blows followed three minutes later when a scramble following, yes, you guessed it, a long throw, brought Benfica the equaliser.
So, extra time, and the home side responded in great fashion to the sickening blow of conceding such a late goal, taking the game to the opposition. Twiggy was hopelessly unlucky after robbing the goalie and going round a defender only to see his goal bound effort hit the retreating custodians foot and stay out while Steve was inches wide with a drive from the edge of the box. The same player was not to be denied on the stroke of extra half time though. Twiggy’s corner from the left was headed goalwards by G11, beating the keeper but not the defender on the line who deflected up on to the bar and out, the ball eventually finding its way out to the waiting Mr Connor who gleefully drilled home. Could we hold on this time? Sadly not. Midway through the second extra quarter and an unmarked header from a corner brought the scores level once again, just seconds after Kip had produced a tremendous point blank save. With penalties looming Jonesy thought he had won it when his inswinging corner looked destined to go straight in but the keeper somehow managed to keep the ball out from right under his crossbar. And so to penalties.
Five brave souls raised their hands as Andy asked for volunteers and the scene was set. Steve took first and scored before Kip came agonisingly close to producing a save that would have given us an early lead. And then the curse of the left footers struck once again. If it’s not Chrissie Waddle and Stuart Pearce it’s Ian Cairney and Twiggy. Both put their efforts on target but both too close to the goalkeeper, the second of which was met with a female cry of “Oh, Stevie baby, you are so good” from the touchline - we trust it was someone who knew him well! Dave and G11 netted with nonchalent ease and Kip produced a fine save to force it to the last kick of the ten but as the ball went one way and the gallant Fanzines custodian the other we were reminded that, sometimes, football can indeed be a cruel, cruel game.
Team: Broughton, Greenwood, Doorly, Ravenscroft, Sowerbutts, Cowlard, Jones, Collinson (Remzi), Connor, Gilbert, Smith (Cairney)
Scorers: Connor x 2
Penalties: Connor, Greenwood, Gilbert
[[Victoria Palace]] (1) 2 Fanzines United (1) 4
EMPAL Division Two
9 Oct 2005
Without doubt, the proverbial game of two halves. One appalling, one better but still not brilliant. After last weeks marathon against Benfica the team saw seven positional changes, with Broughton, Sowerbutts, Collinson, Smith and Connor all missing from the starting line-up for one reason or another. After stressing the need for another positive start, Andy and The Gaffer may as well have saved their breath as the first half brought the most insipid performance seen from a Fanzines team for a couple of seasons. After failing to win barely a tackle in the opening fifteen minutes it was no surprise whatsoever when the home side took the lead, Fred misjudging an inswinging corner which was headed home by the unmarked Palace centre-half. Ten minutes later and by, the miracle of G11’s inability to maintain his balance under challenge, we were level. After waiting months for one chance to come around Dave Greenwood got the opportunity to take his second penalty in as many games and stepping up as confident as a cool cucumber he maintained his 100% record with nonchalent ease. And that, more or less, was our only effort worthy of note in the opening 45.
At the other end, however, it was a different matter entirely. The biggest joke of a penalty decision given against Dave since the last one (it’s just not on, you’ll have to stop winning the ball cleanly Dave) was given by the referee who, a full 50 yards away, was clearly intent on evening things up as far as dubious decision go. Fortunately Fred didn’t see it that way and pulled off a marvellous save away to his right. A couple of minutes later he did equally as well to get his fingertips to a close range effort which hit the underside of the bar and bounced clear and somehow the ramshackle bunch of eleven men in claret and amber made it through to half-time on level terms.
After a reminder from a clearly enraged Gaffer that tackling, passing and heading are all allowed in the game of football, better things were hoped for in the second half. Well, it was one of those occasions when things couldn’t get much worse. Except they did. A through ball caught the back four napping and Palace’s fresh faced number nine gave Fred no chance with a cross shot just inside the far post. Those on the touchline feared the worst but thankfully those on the pitch finally realised that by upping their game to something approaching a decent performance the points were still there for the taking. Daz forced a quite superb save from the Palace custodian before Ian Cairney somehow failed to bundle the ball home from almost on the line and Joe fired the resultant ‘clearance’ over the angle from six yards out. However, there were at least signs of hope and Lyndon’s quite accurate observation that substitute Ian had won more tackles in his five minutes on the pitch than some had done in the previous 60 served to well and truly light the fuse.
G11 found himself eight yards out and eventually forced the ball home after sitting the keeper on backside to bring the scores level and from then on there was only one side who looked like winning as – if by magic – everything suddenly clicked. Daz found himself played into space in the inside right position and after taking the ball on he took his time before calmly slipping home. If that finish was composed his second four minutes later was sheer quality. After being fed the ball by Dunc in an almost identical situation he simply looked up and picked his spot before lashing the ball across the keeper and into the bottom corner. The big man’s whelp of delight at his sixth goal in three games was followed by a forthright cry of “Come on” to his team mates and no one was about to let him down. Joe went agonisingly close with a brave near post header while Rich stretched his goals to games ratio even further with a couple of efforts from the edge of the box which flew wide. That left only The Gaffer and Palace’s manager to engage in a spot of handbags on the touchline before the ref decided it was time for another Woodbine and finally blew the whistle after adding an amazing seven minutes of injury time. So, relief all round but the knowledge that another performance of similar stature next week against a Chequers team defending a 100% record will result in nothing but anguish and frustration.
Team: Lowe S, Greenwood, Timpson, Ravenscroft, Doorly, Cowlard (Richmond), Jones, Shaw, Heithus (Harrison A), Remzi (Cairney), Gilbert
Scorers: Heithus x2, Greenwood (pen), Gilbert
Fanzines United (1) 1 [[Chequers]] (0) 1
EMPAL Division Two
16 Oct 2005
Lyndon was injured, Rich was working and Twiggy had a cold. Adam returned ahead of schedule from injury a la Thierry Henry and somehow got through 90 minutes in centre mid (he was tired at the end!) alongside Joe who did a fantastic job in a role he’s never played before. We scored first after 35 minutes from a corner which was punched in by the goalie but which G11 claimed. We should have gone in at the break with more than just the one to show for our efforts, with Steve and Daz looking dangerous every time we went forward. We had more chances to score at the beginning of the second but tired legs then began to take their toll and the defence was awesome in the final half hour with Chequers putting us under a lot of pressure as they became desperate to maintain their 100% start to the season. Kip – whose handling was superb throughout – made a brilliant save 15 minutes form time but even he had no chance when a one on one chance was converted with just 8 minutes left on the clock.
A draw was probably just about a fair result but we can look back on missed chances to have put the game out of reach before Chequers late onslaught. Still, the first points they’ve dropped this season and they seemed relieved to have left with a draw which, with leaders Brinsthorpe Rangers losing, tightens things up at the top of the table.
Team: Broughton, Greenwood, Timpson, Sowerbutts, Ravenscroft, Doorly (Richmond), Jones, Collinson, Heithus (Smith), Connor, Gilbert
Scorer: Gilbert
Fanzines Utd 5 [[Radcliffe Olympic]] 6
Notts FA County Cup
23 Oct 2005
Good old fashioned Sunday morning football at its finest/worst, depending on your viewpoint. Having conceded only six goals in five league game so far this season we managed to equal the tally in our first (and last) County Cup fixture of the campaign. As good as we were going forward - and at times we were very good - we were equally and highly unusually as bad at the other end. Still, having gone 4-3 up with just over 20 minutes to go it looked as though we would end the shootout as last man standing, a result which wouldn’t have been unjust considering the amount of chances we created. However, a goal to the good became a goal to the bad within five minutes and despite much huffing and puffing we managed to gift our opposition - from a higher level than ourselves, so it’s not as though they needed the help - a sixth before Stevo’s late penalty was just too late to take the game into extra time and an eventual score line of what would surely have been cricket-like proportions. Much to ponder, although going through every aspect of the game here would take all day and serve little purpose. Add to that the fact I unfortunately have neither the time nor (currently) the inclination to do so means I will leave you with a resume of how the game progressed and a final thought - form is temporary but class is permanent. Roll on Sunday versus Inter FB.
0-1
1-1 Gilbert
1-2
2-2 Connor
3-2 Gilbert
3-3
4-3 Colllinson
4-4
4-5
4-6
5-6 Connor (pen)
Team: Lowe S, Greenwood (Whittaker), Doorly, Sowerbutts, Ravenscroft, Shaw, Jones (Cowlard), Collinson, Connor, Smith (Remzi), Gilbert
Scorers: Gilbert x 2, Connor x 2 (1 pen), Collinson
FUFC (2) 4 [[Inter FB]] (0) 0
EMPAL Division Two
30 Oct 2005
With Kip and Stuart both out with injuries, Woody stepped in between the sticks while there was a first start of the season for Whitts as Dave was off running the Worksop half-marathon. Elsewhere, Lyndon’s cruise with a boatful of schoolgirls meant Adam and Rich paired up in central midfield while G11 continued up front alongside Stevo. There was also the small matter of The Gaffer taking up the referring mantle, more of which later.
An abrasive opening by our opponents left us in little doubt that we were going to have to dig deep to take all three points and so it proved as there was little let-up in either the physical or verbal battering over the ensuing hour and a half. Seemingly intimidated for the first 30 minutes, the game turned on its head with two goals in five minutes towards the end of the first half. First Adam got on the end of Stevo’s excellent cross to bundle home the first before the nippy centre-forward was scythed down in the box for what looked from the touchline the clearest of penalties. The Gaffer, stood just six yards away, was in no doubt either but that didn’t stop the opposition calling him all sorts of nasty names for pointing to the spot. Stevo, meanwhile, picked himself up and dispatched with consummate ease to double the advantage. By now the rain was throwing it down to such an extent that it was hampering the vision of Inter’s nippy forwards who kept insisting that they were onside every time Twiggy - correctly - raised his flag to signal they were, in fact, at times yards off.
An early goal at the start of the second half was needed to knock any remaining fight out of our opponents and it duly arrived from the most unexpected of sources. As Joe took possession 40 yards out those on the touchline were already looking round for the fishing net. Fortunately, though, all heads were up for the goal of the season contender which followed as the left back looked up and, seeing Inter’s keeper off his line, sent an inch perfect effort over his head, under the bar and into the corner of the net. Superb, and the applause which followed was richly deserved. With the game now all but won the main aim was to keep a clean sheet and normal service was resumed among the back four after he nightmare of conceding six the previous week. A glancing header from the portly centre-half turned in Jonesy’s corner for the fourth which left Inter’s by now bickering bruisers only to attempt decapitation on G11 and Dunc before The Gaffer brought proceedings to a satisfactory conclusion, although apparently ‘it’s no surprise we’re winning games if we cheat like that every week’! Bad losers anyone? Heck, they even named Whitts man of the match!!
Team: Wood, Whittaker, Ravenscroft, Sowerbutts, Doorly, Shaw, Jones, Collinson (Lowe S), Connor (Richmond ), Gilbert, Smith (Timpson).
Scorers: Collinson, Connor (pen), Doorly, o.g.
[[Nevabeen Athletic]] (0) 0 Fanzines Utd (3) 10
EMPAL Division Two
6 Nov 2005
On paper an easy game against bottom of the table Nevabeen but, as we all know, games are not won on paper and Andy and The Gaffer were keen to emphasise the need to guard against complacency. With Gareth facing his own match of the day, Joe moved to centre-half and Jimbo came in at left back. Further upfield, Twiggy came in for a run out on the right while Lyndon returned in the centre as Adam moved up front to replace the hamstrung G11.
As the game kicked off so the heavens opened and after a quiet opening 20 minutes it seemed to be that the heavier the rain fell the more the goals flowed. Jimbo’s shot come cross got the scoreboard moving and from then on it was simply a case of not if but when further goals would come.
Goals and Stevo made it three by half-time and the second 45 produced an additional seven as Nevabeen wilted under an onslaught from both the elements and the opposition. Some sublime first-time finishing from Stevo saw him take his personal tally to five before a leg-saving substitution gave Dave the chance to shine up front. His pass sent Adam through to finish emphatically one-on-one but even he was upstaged by Goals’ bullet-like downward header from a pinpoint cross delivered by the impressive Twiggy. The final whistle brought another clean sheet for Woody and double figures for a Fanzines team for the first time in many a season (eight at a guess, unless anyone can remind me differently), a victory made even better by the fact it was achieved in horrendous conditions by playing some neat and impressive football. Just pity poor Sharon whose kindly kit-washing skills were no doubt fully tested on Monday morning!
Team: Wood, Whittaker, Timpson, Ravenscroft (Lowe S), Doorly (Jones), Cowlard, Remzi, Shaw, Connor (Greenwood ), Collinson, Smith
Scorers: Connor x 5, Collinson x 2, Smith x 2, Timpson.
[[Inter FB]] (2) 3 Fanzines Utd (1) 2
EMPAL Division Two
13 Nov 2005
A late change of venue prior to the game saw Fanzines on their way to the Cinderhill hinterland on a cold & bright November morning for the return fixture against a team that they had defeated by four goals to nil a fortnight before. Confidence was high and, despite the absence of Mr Lowe, it was generally felt that a repeat result was a distinct possibility.
Always one to warn against complacency (and the weather), The Gaffer’s pre-match team talk emphasised the need to concentrate on the basics and to earn the right to play the kind of passing football that had been so successful in recent games. A shockingly poor start to game followed, however, as Fanzines struggled to cope with either the tight tundra of a pitch or the vibrant Inter front four, though neither could be blamed for the first goal. A simple ball over the top was failed to be cleared, first by a horrendous miskick from Dave and then by a tangle between the full-back and outrushing keeper. Bouncing loose, the Inter forward bobbled himself and the ball between Paul and Joe, and tapped into the net.
Although Fanzines quickly equalized as Goals tapped in after Steve’s shot was parried by the keeper, it was in truth the only bright spark in an otherwise abject team performance. Inter went ahead again before half-time as a hopeful lob from outside the area could only be parried onto the bar by the back-pedalling Kip and it was a simple task for the unattended striker to prod the ball home. The cramped pitch was clearly intended for under-12s and luckily that’s how Fanzines were playing, a fact pointed out by the disgruntled Gaffer at half-time. He doesn’t give up his free time for rubbish like this, y’know…
No changes at the break, though if he’d had 11 subs available he probably would’ve used them all. Fanzines spectacular ability to fail to pass the ball to each other continued to astound and amaze all the chilly watchers on the sidelines, whilst Inter continued to look dangerous on the break. The normally compact approach to defending was strangely absent, whilst the attacking threat was limited at best. Daz was brought on for Ady and immediately injected a bit of passion, and with 15 minutes to go finished off from close range after a scramble in the box. 2-2, and a point looked to have been salvaged. Fred and Dan were brought on for Dave and Goals as the Gaffer attempted to shore things up at the back, but instead Inter dealt a crual blow as, with five minutes remaining, a ball was flung in from the left and the striker rose between Kip & Fred to plonk the ball into the corner. Sometimes when you deserve nothing, that’s exactly what you get.
And though Daz attempted to thunder the ball through the entire Inter back-line, and was furious having been continually fouled, it was too late to rescue the game. A shocking performance and a shocking defeat, one which deals a significant blow to Fanzines promotion chances. Daz’s post-match rage was loud but justified, and maybe will remind the team that a consistent level of performance is required in order to achieve anything this season. We'll see if anyone was listening...
Team: Broughton, Greenwood (Lowe, S), Timpson, Doorly, Ravenscroft, Cowlard, Jones (Heithus), Shaw, Connor, Collinson, Smith (Brown)
Scorers: Smith, Heithus.
Man of the Match: Shaw
[[Chequers]] (0) 2 Fanzines United (2) 3
EMPAL Division Two
27 Nov 2005
A trip out to Cropwell Butler to play Chequers, the only side with a big fat ‘0’ next to their name under the column headed ‘lost’ in the EMPAL Division 2 table. If ever there was a fixture to test the resolve of a side still smarting from the poor performance and deserved defeat against Inter FB a fortnight previous then this was it. Andy and The Gaffer mulled long and hard before re-introducing the five man midfield to embrace what is undoubtedly the widest pitch in the league. Having been successful with it in previous years, it was felt a switch was needed to reap reward again. Changes in personnel saw Whitts come in at centre-half with Joe reverting to left back and Jimbo to right back. In midfield, the need to play two quick wide-men with an eye for goal saw Stevo and Goals pushed wide with Adam dropping off in the centre ahead of Lyndon and Rich. This meant both Dave and Jonesy making way but hats off to both, they accepted what was a very tough decision in a manner which did them much credit.
After a bizarre pre-match pep-talk from the referee which included his insistence that he wasn’t going to use linesmen (a decision which Andy thankfully persuaded him to reverse!) the game kicked off with a lot depending on Daz and his ability to hold up the ball and bring others into play. Any fear that the big man might struggle to do the job on such a big playing surface were dispelled within the opening 90 seconds as sheer persistence on his part fashioned an opening which saw the ball come back off the post from a tight angle. That set the tone for an opening half which for the main part was dominated by the away side. Daz’s work rate was again to the fore as Stevo was presented with a chance after ten minutes which he was never going to miss, turning sweetly and rifling home in one movement.
Minutes later and the same player was unlucky when his drive from 16 yards came back off the underside of the cross bar and with another effort scrambled off the line from a corner, Chequers were desperate. So it was no surprise when the net bulged for a second time on the half hour mark. No surprises about the goal maybe, but the scorer?! One Richard Shaw!! Three years in the making and Rich’s right shin presented him with his first goal for the club, gleefully rammed home from twelve yards out. Mobbed by his team mates, there was no disguising his delight at finally getting off the mark. The two goal cushion was maintained without much trouble through to the whistle and we looked forward to a comfortable second 45 to go on and take the three points. Well, Fanzines wouldn’t be Fanzines if that was the case, would it?!
Within 40 seconds of us taking kick-off the home side were back in the game after mistake followed mistake on the left to leave Chequers’ half-time substitute to prod past a helpless Kip from six yards out. After that we just couldn’t get going as the midfield dropped ever deeper to help out a beleaguered back four, leaving Daz marooned without a claret and amber short within 50 yards of him. Buoyed by the sudden impact of his introduction, Chequers super sub then hit the bar with a cracking effort and Kip was forced into two fine pieces of goalkeeping to preserve the advantage. However, the blue tide kept coming and with 25 minutes remaining the scores were level as a free shot on goal from twelve yards after a failure to clear our lines again left Kip without a hope. And then…a quick break, our best (only?!) move of the second half and a pinpoint cross from Joe found the head of Adam, ghosting in at the far post to find the corner of the net with a deft header. Having played our get out of jail card with such aplomb we were not about to let the lead slip again without a fight and some fine defending coupled with some luck as a spot of pinball saw Chequers equal our woodwork hit count for the morning saw us mightily relieved at the final whistle. A performance of some skill (in the first half) and no little character (towards the end of the second) had brought an end to the league’s last unbeaten record and seen us go clear in second spot. Blimey.
Team: Broughton, Timpson (Greenwood), Doorly, Ravenscroft, Whittaker, Cowlard (Lowe S), Connor, Shaw, Heithus, Collinson, Smith (Brown)
Scorers: Connor, Shaw, Collinson
Fanzines United (2) 6 [[Brinsthorpe Rangers]] (0) 1
EMPAL Division Two
11 Dec 2005
With the days counting down on advent calendars nationwide Santa EMPAL served up a Christmas cracker with a top of the table clash between Fanzines and free-scoring Brinsthorpe Rangers. With Daz and Jimbo both working, changes were enforced and after a sleepless night Andy decided to bring back Dave and Jonesy into the starting eleven, pushing Adam up alongside Stevo and leaving the unlucky quartet of Fred, Dan, Twiggy and the returning Gareth on the bench. After a week of giving the management grief, G11 was fit enough only to turn up ten minutes after kick-off, just in time to see his team mates double their lead in what was a dream opening. After Stevo’s sublime opener, which had Fred in raptures to the point where he was still telling everyone about it two hours later, Goals converted a cross from the same player after a beautifully crafted move down the right to leave the ‘backroom staff’ (c. Courtney Nangle 2005) pinching themselves.
Brinsthorpe’s folically challenged but more than useful centre-forward kept the back five busy but after a couple of heart-stopping moments the opposition’s insistence on launching one long-throw after another into the box became as impotent as it was predictable. Rangers’ frustration was summed up by a couple of overly robust challenges which both resulted in bookings, and the second of which unfortunately brought a premature end to Lyndon’s morning, the skipper coming off five minutes into the second half to be replaced by the effervescent Twiggy. With Adam dropping back to fill in for Lyndon, Twiggy was issued the instruction to “get up front and make a nuisance of yourself”. In other words, do what you do best. And he didn’t disappoint. Within ten minutes of taking the field he’d provided opportunities for both first half scorers to double their tallies and both gleefully accepted. The goal he deserved for himself went begging when a left footed volley from ten yards flew over the bar before a hint of a come back from the visitors after the otherwise excellent referee missed a clear infringement on Kip and the ball was bundled home from two yards out.
Any sweaty palms on the touchline were soon dried, however, in applauding Jonesy’s 30 35 40 45 yard free-kick which ‘dipped and swerved’ before hitting the underside of the bar and going in off the keeper. One for the dubious goals panel? Not according to Jonesy who claimed the back spin he’d put on the ball was taking it in anyway. Stevo then deservedly completed his hat-trick, another clinical finish putting the result beyond any doubt before he made way for his new biggest fan, Fred. The veteran’s efforts to double his all-time goalscoring record for Fanzines was unfortunately hampered by an inability to differentiate between Jonesy and the referee and he remains on just the one (but what a one it was!). Not that this was ever going to be a day about personal milestones anyway. Perhaps the most complete performance of the season, and a superbly disciplined second half one by players all over the pitch, brought an emphatic victory over the team who came as league leaders but who by the end of the game were well beaten into second place.
Team: Broughton, Greenwood , Doorly, Ravenscroft, Whittaker, Cowlard (Remzi), Jones, Shaw, Connor (Lowe S), Collinson, Smith (Brown).
Scorers: Connor x 3, Smith x 2, Jones.
[[GM Olympico|Olympico]] (0) 1 Fanzines Utd (4) 4
EMPAL Division Two
15 Jan 2006
At last. After what seemed like months but was only in fact five weeks, Fanzines took to the field in anger once again for their first game of 2006. No longer league leaders following Rushcliffe SHR taking advantage of last week's late cancellation but nevertheless chomping at the bit to prove their mettle.
Team selection proved slightly less problematic than usual with the eleven who started the demolition of Brinsthorpe all those weeks ago making themselves available. Any change would have been almost impossible to justify, and certainly beyond even Andy’s tinkering ideals. So it was, then, that the gauntlet was thrown down to the same side to produce the same standard of performance.
The Gaffer’s concerns over a sluggish start led to a thorough pre-match warm up and the bearded wonder must have wanted to hug a tree after his efforts reaped rich reward with the taking of a stunning 3-0 lead inside the opening fourteen minutes. Not only that, but all three came courtesy of the same boot, Stevo’s right, for what surely must be the quickest ever hat-trick scored by a Fanzines player (Thommo, if you’re reading this, prove me wrong!). The first the most confident of lobs over an advancing keeper after a flat back four were bamboozled by precise midfield interplay. The second a rasping drive beyond the left hand of Olympico’s net man after taking on another through ball and the third a poachers goal, on the doorstep to slot home the rebound from six yards after Adam’s effort was parried by the shellshocked custodian. In short, sublime finishing of the highest quality.
Stevo even found time to do his bit for the Notts FA benevolent fund, adding £8 after a somewhat overzealous refereeing decision, before the game settled down into a period of midfield drudgery. Chances were all of a sudden few and far between, though when they came they fell to the away team. Adam was played through and was denied by a bad bounce as he lifted his effort over the keeper but also unfortunately the bar. Stevo and Adam were then denied by last ditch defending before the fourth arrived on the stroke of half-time from that most outrageous of sources, Goals’ RIGHT foot. Again, another ‘garbage’ goal turned in from inside the six yard box but they all count the same - look in Rothmans next year and it will simply say Smith (1).
There’s no denying that a four goal cushion at the break was more than anyone had dared hoped for but Andy and The Gaffer are never ones to count their chickens and both were keen to warn against complacency, emphasising the need for both individual and collective responsibility if the game was to be made safe. What they hadn’t banked on was the away side treating the football like the proverbial hot potato for much of the second 45 instead of a long lost love, resulting in periods when resolute defending was the order of the day and Kip was called upon to be at his outstanding best. Fortunately he was, and with Olympico’s star striker going off injured at half-time the game never looked like slipping away. Chances came and went at both ends thanks to a mix of poor finishing and brave, and in Kip’s case, twice, brilliant, goalkeeping but it wasn’t until the final minute that a couple of lucky bounces for the home side saw the richly deserved shut out shattered.
Still, a thoroughly encouraging performance and an outstanding result when the long lay off could so easily have led to underwhelming disappointment. A number of memorable performances make the man of the match an impossible decision to make and anyway, I’m sure all would agree that the three points mean more than any individual accolade, especially as Rushcliffe’s draw with Chequers means a return to the top!
Team: Broughton, Greenwood (Sowerbutts), Doorly (Lowe S), Ravenscroft, Whittaker, Cowlard, Jones (Remzi), Shaw, Connor, Collinson, Smith
Scorers: Connor x 3, Smith.
[[Ardley Athletic]] (1) 1 Fanzines Utd (1) 2
EMPAL Division Two
22 Jan 2006
As yardsticks go, the annual challenge of subduing the free-scoring Ardley Athletic tends to provide a good indication for the ultimate direction of each Fanzines season, as proved by last years 4-0 away defeat. If the current league leaders had any realistic hopes of maintaining their position they would have to cope with both the narrow, slippy pitch at the Embankment and the absence of Lowey, who was busy dancing elsewhere (possibly with ladies). Defending his 100%-defeated record this season, The Gaffer decided to resist his instincts and chose not to fiddle with a winning formula, with the starting eleven remaining unchanged for the third straight game - surely an unheard of event! He sent out his charges having urged them to withstand the early pressure, win all the aerial challenges, and devise a plan to combat the threat of Ardley main man, Big Sam. Wise words indeed for, after an early period of scrappy punting, an Ardley cross was met by the head of both Whitts and Ravo (not a good idea), and the resulting limp clearance was shovelled to the feet of Big Sam who lashed a half-volley past Kip's elegant dive. Woops.
Fanzines were certainly struggling to find their (and each other's!) feet, although any rare passing movements in the game were invariably launched by the Claret & Amber, as Ardley increasingly relied on lofted balls to (and beyond) their front men. The lack of width was certainly providing a challenge, with Steve and Goals unable to expose any holes down the usual channels. Even so, it was Fanzines that began to impose themselves on the game. A number of half-chances from corners and throw-ins were created, and Steve will certainly feel that if he had been wearing last week's shooting-boots he may have been able to nudge himself over the 20-goal mark by half-time. As it was, the equaliser finally arrived from Jonesy's craftily flighted corner. Garry Goals decided against accepting the accolades for another garbage tap-in and instead placed his header against the crossbar, resulting in the ball being bundled over the line by a combination of Rich Shaw, Ardley shin and sheer desperation.
1-1 at half-time and strong words were spoken by all about how the upcoming half could define the nature of the season. A worrying thought,as the second half continued the trend of sporadic periods of possession interspersed with the occasionalhalf-chance. Adam & Steve failed to convert at one end; Kip made a couple of sprightly stops at the other; Rich Shaw began to impose himself in the midfield. The Fanzines back four were looking increasingly solid although, to be fair, the same could be said about Ardley who were rather playing into the away team's hands by failing to supply their tricky left winger and skilful Number 10 with enough decent possession. A costly mistake as The Gaffer made his change, bringing Twiggy on for the hard-working Ady Jones, and setting the scene for the game's defining moment.
Another corner, this time from the right, and Twiggy launched (over hit?) the ball to the back post where it was met, with cat-like grace (like a panther/ a gazelle/ a collapsing hippo) by the frame of the skipper. A header? By Lyndon?? Into the goal?!? The winning goal?!?! Astonishment swept across the plains. Surely such unnatural things should not be seen, not on the Sabbath? Ardley tried to respond but it was all in vain. The game was won;a game that last season would have been a frustrating stalemate or an agonising defeat. Another three points in the bag and Fanzines retain the narrow leadership of the division ahead of the relentless Rushcliffe SHR, with a series of games coming up against the league's lower placed teams.
Celebrations were tempered somewhat by the discovery that a spate of breaking & entering had occurred in the car-park, with a screwdriver-shaped hole in Kip's door the most obvious clue with which Rich and Daz could begin their sleuthing. The sight of a shadowy mysterious figure slinking away to a nearby house caused a brief flutter of blood-lust, until it was reasoned that it was just the lesser-spotted Duncan on his way home.
Team: Broughton, Greenwood, Doorly, Whittaker, Ravenscroft, Cowlard, Jones (Remzi), Shaw, Connor, Collinson (Heithus), Smith
Subs Not Used: S Lowe, Sowerbutts
Scorers: Own Goal, Cowlard.
Gaffer's Man of the Match: Rich Shaw
Ardley's Man of the Match: Steve, closely followed by Lyndon.
[[Brooks Villa]] (1) 1 Fanzines United (1) 2
EMPAL Division Two
29 Jan 2006
With Rushcliffe SHR on EMPAL Cup duty, Fanzines went into the game knowing a positive result would take them clear at the top of the Division 2 table. And while the prize on offer could not have been more tantalising, the opposition stood in their way could not have been tougher. Brooks/Fanzines games have, in the main, a history of being passionate and close fought affairs and it was no surprise to anyone when this one turned out to be more of the same.
There were changes at the top and tail of the team, with Kip working and Stevo away in London. In came Stuart for his first game of the season while up front Daz removed his splinters to come off the bench and back in for a first start since late November.
After the previous week’s tougher than tough win over Ardley, The Gaffer (backed up by his assistant for the day, Andy!) was keen that his troops should prepare themselves for a carbon copy and so it proved, with Brooks showing a determination and teamwork that gave few opportunities for Fanzines to display the dazzling football which had in patches mesmerised Olympico not two weeks previously.
Still, the early stages did bring chances. What proved to be the most outstanding piece of football in the match came after just five minutes when a swift break involving five players left Lyndon free in the box with just ex-Fanziner Fairholme in the home goal to beat. Unfortunately, however, the chance fell to the skipper’s feet and not his head and the chance went begging. That was the first of four one-on-one chances which were spurned, largely due to excellent goalkeeping by the aforementioned stopper.
A goal did finally arrive, however, and it was almost a carbon copy of the previous week’s opener against Ardley, with Jonesy’s corner being met by Goal’s flick header at the near post. This time, though, there was no help from the crossbar and an unfortunate opponent as the ball flew in to give the veteran sniffer another garbage marker.
Rather than set the home side back, falling behind only seemed to further strengthen their resolve and they came strong in the last ten minutes of the half, forcing the claret and amber on to the back front and finally claiming the equaliser on the stroke of half time, albeit in controversial circumstances. A corner form the left was headed powerfully goalwards by Martin Rainbow but blocked by Lyndon on the post, and seemingly in front of the line. The referee, however, didn’t see it that way and gave the goal, ruling the ball had completely crossed. The Russian linesman (Dan Brownoski) didn’t agree but on this occasion in footballing history it was the man with the whistle who had the deciding say. Lyndon protested but even the captain’s famed powers of persuasion held no sway and his determination to force the issue on what could have otherwise been seen as a red card offence thankfully disappeared into the chill Chillwell air.
The second 45 was a more even affair with both sides struggling to carve out clear cut chances until, not for the first time this season, the introduction of Twiggy with 15 minutes to go finally titled the balance of power in Fanzines favour. A couple of dancing runs down the left ended with pinpoint crosses which demanded quality saves from two Adam headers before a bouncing through ball saw the same player clear with two minutes to go and the chance to win it. His lob over the keeper seemed perfect but somehow agonisingly cleared the bar and it seemed we’d have to settle for the one point. However, cometh the hour cometh the Dazman and with just injury time left on the clock Adam and Jonesy combined to send the portly striker through on goal. With Twiggy screaming for a square pass Daz admitted afterwards he’d tried to give it him but was so knackered he ended up placing his ‘pass’ into the bottom corner instead! Pandemonium on the touchline and worry for all of those of a nervous disposition as Daz attempted to remove his shirt in celebration. Thankfully he didn’t manage it and there was just time for a Brooks player to try one last time to kick Rich Shaw into the middle of next week before the referee’s final whistle heralded the most hard earned of victories.
On reflection we have to take huge satisfaction from the manner in which we dug in and, to a man, kept believing that the winner would come. As Ravo was heard to say as the game entered its final stages, “Come on reds, we need to get something out of games like this”. He was right, we do. And the fact that we did bodes well for the remaining nine games of what continues to be a very tough and competitive season.
Team: Gadsby, Greenwood , Doorly, Ravenscroft, Whittaker (Sowerbutts), Cowlard, Jones, Shaw, Heithus, Collinson, Smith (Remzi).
Scorers: Smith, Heithus
Fanzines Utd (1) 3 [[Victoria Palace]] (1) 2
EMPAL Division Two
5 Feb 2006
Fanzines first ever home league game at Elms Park took a surreal twist as the claret and amber emerged from the changing room and seemingly into Gulliver’s Kingdom. Opponents Victoria Palace appeared to have been mid-season shopping in the land of the giants, lining up with a good half dozen 6-footers, not to mention a couple who would have touched the tape at 6’5. “Look at the size of ‘em” laughed Whitts nervously while Gareth, subs jacket already firmly zipped up, just laughed. Ravo, meanwhile, smiled knowingly. This was going to be yet another tough day at the office.
Kip retuned between the posts and Twiggy came in for the on-holiday Jonesy while Adam stepped down to allow Daz to play alongside the returning Stevo, an out-and-out front two which the management duo felt was best suited to unsettle the opposition.
After having looked forward to playing on the wide and flat expanse offered by Ruddington United’s first team pitch, it took the home side longer than anticipated to actually get used to it. For much of the opening 45 the league leaders were on the back foot and it was no real surprise when a carefully constructed move ended with one of VP’s 6’5ers giving the opposition the lead, firing into the top corner from 12 yards out.
Struggling to cope with the sheer size and strength of many of their opponents, there was much relief when respite arrived five minutes before the break courtesy of a fine finish from Goals, latching onto a cross field ball from Stevo and firing back across the keeper and into the bottom corner. VP’s manger stoked the fire for what was to come later by scampering forty yards down the touchline towards his own sub who was running the line, demanding that he raise his flag for a fictitious offside. That his protestations were ignored by his own player tell you all you need to know.
Half-time and Corporal Jones offered up ‘don’t panic’, stressing the need to work harder in closing down the opposition and hunt in packs, while looking to make better use of the width offered by our new facility when going forward.
What Corporal Jones hadn’t bargained for was a spot of handbags on the touchline between Andy and VP’s diminutive manger just after the restart which, combined with Palace’s goalkeeper having to leave the action five minutes later with a dislocated finger, seemed to light the blue touch paper as far as the home side taking charge of proceedings was concerned.
Stevo’s sumptuous finish from the edge of the box, across the stand-in keeper and inside the far post, had Fred in his usual state of rapture and even brought applause from Jim Cooke, the legendary Fanzines founding father making an all too-rare appearance to watch his heritage in action. When Goals notched his weekly near post header with 20 minutes left on the watch (his ninth goal in the last eight games he’ll thank me for telling you) it seemed we could all breathe a little easier. In fact, so confident were Rodney and Del Boy that G11 was summoned from the bench for a cameo following eight weeks out with a hamstring injury.
Unbeknown to those on the touchline, however, boredom at an improved second half display had obviously set in amongst a certain member of the back four who single-handedly decided to liven up the last seven minutes by gifting the opposition a second and then present them the opportunity to draw level with a series of shanked clearances. It would be unfair of this reporter to name him as his performances have admittedly been near exemplary following his return from honeymoon, but with his brother Justin on the sidelines you’d have thought the tousled blonde could have picked a better time to have a mare!
Despite all this late-game excitement there was still time for Lyndon to talk his way into the referees notebook before Twiggy’s efforts in seeing out the seven minutes of injury time were unappreciated to such an extent by Palace’s two-goal scorer that he felt the need to leave his stud marks on the fleet-footed one’s upper thigh. A sour ending to what had been a highly competitive and fairly fought encounter.
You could almost taste the relief at the final whistle, to take all three points against a good side with a (literally) huge physical advantage require a massive effort from all involved. Yet gain, three points from a game in which two years ago we would undoubtedly have come away with none.
Team: Broughton, Greenwood , Doorly, Whittaker, Ravenscroft, Cowlard. Remzi, Shaw, Connor (Gilbert), Heithus (Collinson), Smith (Lowe S)
Scorers: Smith x 2, Connor
Fanzines United (1) 2 [[Brooks Villa]] (0) 1
EMPAL Division Two
12 Feb 2006
From the moment we arrived to find some muppet had locked the internal doors of the pavilion and we couldn’t get into the changing rooms or, more importantly, put up the goalposts this had all the makings of another long day at the office. No change there then.
I don’t know what it is about being top of the league but every team we’ve played recently have seemingly turned up with about twenty players and given us a really tough game. For the second time in three weeks it was Brooks’ turn and with the addition of some new faces following the game at Chilwell Olympia, they once again pushed us all the way.
The only change to the starting eleven saw Adam reintroduced for Daz, a tactical switch which was to prove pivotal come the final whistle. Elsewhere, recurrence of hamstring injuries ruled out G11 and Jimbo, both of whom put their disappointment to one side and turned up to lend some much appreciated support on a miserable morning.
Kicking off twenty minutes late didn’t seem to have an adverse effect on either side as both became locked in a midfield battle for supremacy, Rich and Lyndon edging ahead, and allowing Dave to present Adam with a one on one opportunity which he coolly finished with aplomb, rounding ex-Fanziner Fairholme and rolling into the empty net.
At the other end Kip’s handling in dealing with a couple of long distance efforts was faultless while the back fours continued solidity prevented much close range work for the number one. Meanwhile, Stevo’s efforts to double the home side's advantage were twice prevented by last gap challenges from Brooks’ player-manager Gilly, pushed into service as an emergency centre-half, a role in which he excelled throughout the ninety minutes.
Although only one up at half-time the management duo expressed their pleasure at the way in which their charges had played as a team unit and were confident that a repeat performance would be rewarded with the three points. Unfortunately, the claret and amber threatened to undo all their good work with a lacklustre start to the second forty-five, handing the initiative to their opponents who went on to boss the opening third. For all their territorial advantage, however, they were unable to force an equaliser and a five minutes spell saw clear chances fall to Stevo, Twiggy and Goals, all of whom will feel they should have done better.
As it was the second came with twenty minutes left on the watch, Twiggy’s excellent long range free-kick being pushed onto the bar for Adam to nod home the rebound from six yards out. From there the game should have been safe but Kip was once again denied a first clean sheet of the season late on via a rare breach in the back four wall which allowed a fine finish form Brooks’ lively centre-forward. Despite four minutes of injury time a repeat never looked likely with Whitts having thankfully remembered the old advantage of ‘if in doubt, kick it (a long way) out’ after his mad five minutes of the previous week.
The whistle of impressive EMPAL debutant referee Paul Elliott signalled yet another hard earned three points, and our seventh win in a row – five of which have been by the odd goal. There is no doubt that this is now a team that has what it takes to work hard for each other and grind out a positive result against committed and determined opponents. With seven games to go, and on the evidence of every game played since Christmas, I think we can bet on that spirit being tested plenty more yet.
Fanzines Utd (8) 11 [[Nevabeen Athletic]] (0) 0
EMPAL Division Two
19 Feb 2006
It’s at the arse end of winter, as the weather moistens and the pitches turn to sloppy meringues, that the true nature of a Sunday League season comes into focus. Some teams lose hope and tempers as they struggle to maintain numbers, form and composure throughout a series of disappointing endeavours, whilst others, seeing the glittering prize of cheap imitation silverware on the near horizon, increase their efforts on the pitch almost as much as they decrease the hedonism off it. Having won their last seven increasingly tough games, Fanzines found themselves seven points clear at the top of the table with a large squad competing for a chance to impress against the league’s bottom team on another damp grey morning in Ruddington. Nevabeen Athletic had been living up to their name this season, with a particularly unhealthy goal difference of more than 100 goals against, but a recent victory over Brinsthorpe had clearly caused enough concern to the management that Lowe & Harrison decided against meddling too much with a winning formula, with only Fred coming in for Dave in preparation for his weeks of absence ahead.
Nevabeen took to the field sporting a shiny new kit and, seemingly, a shiny new set of players, but any fears of a big upset were allayed when Steve, having hit the post and then chipped over in the first two minutes, sprinted onto a through ball and eased it past the suspiciously erratic goalkeeper for the opener. It soon became apparent that the Nevabeen back-line could be opened up with ease with either a ball down the middle or down the channels. A first half of innumerable chances ended with an 8-0 scoreline, with Twiggy claiming three assists from three first time passes and Steve filling his boots (and his hat). Garry Goals has been so used to scoring from zero yards this season that he applied the same amount of force to a right footer from eighteen yards which both the keeper and defender obligingly allowed to trickle into the net. Joe scored the goal of the game with a cracking drive into the bottom corner after a slick passing move. Rich Shaw shanked a good chance wide, whilst Lyndon found himself clean through with the goal gaping but decided to wait until all the Nevabeen team had had a nice cup of tea and a biscuit before attempting to find a colleague's feet, by which time the chance had been somewhat missed. Adam scored after receiving a lovely backwards header from the Nevabeen centre half, and Twiggy himself got one but it wasn’t very good so I won't waste my time describing it.
A half-time of almost praise from Mr Lowe on a half-job well done, but nothing was taken for granted. Gareth and Daz were given a run out, but the biggest change was the Nevabeen decision to move their left-back into the goal where he proved to be much more effective than the previous encumbent. It was certainly proving to be tougher to create or take chances in the second half, though Steve was continuing to cause havoc with his pace and touch. Gaffer’s favourite, James, came on for Goals, having finally shaken off a niggling injury. Steve tucked away his fifth and Daz hit the bar from 90-ish yards before scoring from a probably offside position to maintain his almost goal-per-game ratio. Andy was more concerned about a first clean sheet of the season for Kip, and in truth it was rarely in doubt despite a few late forays by Athletic. Twiggy added his second of the game, having had a few minutes in the area to receive and control the ball and then pass it in at the near post.
11-0 then, and eight wins in a row. Rushcliffe’s cup activities mean that Fanzines are now ten points clear at the top having played two games more than their nearest rivals. The next two or three games could prove to be decisive, but team spirit is good and nobody in the squad is taking anything for granted. The league is there to be won, so let’s win it, shall we? Cheers.
Team: Gadsby, Lowe S , Doorly, Ravenscroft (Sowerbutts), Whittaker, Cowlard (Heithus), Remzi, Shaw, Collinson, Connor, Smith (Timpson).
Scorers: Connor x5, Remzi x2, Collinson, Doorly, Smith, Heithus
Subs cast aside in an unsentimental manner: Greenwood , Jones
Fanzines Utd (2) 3 [[Ardley Athletic]] (0) 0
EMPAL Division Two
12 Mar 2006
After what seemed like an eternity but was in fact only a fortnight, Fanzines returned to action on a bitterly cold mid-March morning, a freezing wind blowing snow flurries end to end along Elms Park’s sloping pitch. The freshly bronzed trio of Adam (holiday), Jonesy (holiday) and Jimbo (hair colouring) donned the sub suits with gusto as Andy and The Gaffer eventually came to an agreement over the starting eleven, Daz partnering Stevo up front while Fred retained his spot at right back after delivering on his promise and coaching Kip to a first clean sheet of the season in the previous game against Nevabeen.
Ardley, however, promised to present a much tougher task than the league’s basement boys and after an enterprising opening both teams struggled to get ball in to feet as conditions threatened to dominate. Ardley’s dangerous front two were being well marshalled by Whitts and Ravo while at the other end Stevo and Dazzler were finding life difficult against the wily figure of Ed Bolt, the veteran turning in a performance which rolled back the years. It was left to the wide man, then, to provide the home side with some impetus and not for the first time this season it was Goals who arrived unannounced to pounce from six yard after Twiggy’s shot came back off the keeper. Whitts then blazed wide and Daz headed over unchallenged as we began to turn the screw, the second effort bringing the bizarre awarding of a corner which in the spirit of fair play and common sense was rightfully overturned after Stevo pointed out to the somewhat eccentric referee that his strike partner was in fact wearing a red, and not green, shirt. With both the slope and wind in our favour a one goal half-time lead would have been slender fare and so much celebration followed as Twiggy’s expert delivery from another disputed corner deceived all and dropped in at the far post minutes before the break to double the advantage.
The half-time team talk was all about defending high up the pitch to counteract the wind and slope, a tactic made all the easier by the addition of a third goal 12 minutes after the re-start, Goals getting the final touch after a spot of pin ball in the Ardley box. The veteran’s return for the campaign now stands at a round dozen, his highest for a number of seasons and a more than healthy return from 14 starts. With a three goal cushion and opposition danger man Sam limping off after suffering a recurrence of an old achilles injury it just required a composed final half hour to ensure all three points were safely claimed. The final quarter brought an Ardley onslaught as they threw everything forward in a desperate attempt to grab a consolation to make things interesting but a combination of solid defending, good goalkeeping and a spot or two of good fortune - not to mention the great ‘hand or thigh’ debate - ended with the scoreboard unmoved and Kip with his second successive clean sheet.
So, nine straight wins, surely a club record (if only Charlie hadn’t ‘mislaid’ the stats from 1996/7…), and the perfect result to take into next Sunday’s clash against second placed Brinsthorpe Rangers. One game at a time gentlemen, one game at a time.
Team: Broughton, Lowe S (Timpson), Doorly (Jones), Whittaker, Ravenscroft, Cowlard, Remzi, Shaw, Connor, Heithus (Collinson), Smith.
Scorers: Smith x 2, Remzi
[[Brinsthorpe Rangers]] (2) 3 Fanzines Utd (0) 1
EMPAL Division Two
19 Mar 2006
From the moment Kip got in touch at twenty to nine to say he was still at work (in London!) as his cover had let him down there was a nagging feeling that this was just going to be one of those days. Jimbo had been forced to withdraw on Saturday due to illness and with both Dave and Twiggy also absent the squad was looking a little threadbare. Andy hatched a plan which - to cut an elaborate one short - involved himself playing up front and Fred in goal until Kip’s arrival but thankfully the number 10 shirt wasn’t dirtied as the ever-reliable custodian somehow managed to arrive just in time for kick-off without having broken the speed limit – or at least that’s what he told Rich and Daz!
Unfortunately, Kip’s efforts weren’t matched by the majority of his team mates in a thoroughly disappointing first half, undoubtedly the worst since the early season debacle at Inter FB. The watching trio of Andy, Adam and Gareth were bemused as all over the pitch footballing basics were being neglected by the men in red and amber – dangerous against any team in this league, suicidal against a team in second spot who produced a first half performance that was high in passion and commitment and which showed an unquestionable determination to take all three points. Normally, it has to be said, the mark of a Fanzines team, but sadly not on this occasion.
Having spoken pre-match about the need to watch out for the long ball over the top we fell victim to just that sucker punch midway through the opening 45, Rangers’ ever dangerous number 9 making no mistake one-on-one against Kip. Despite not managing an effort worthy of the name on target we looked like going in only one behind, thanks in the main to an outstanding goal line clearance from Ravo, until another aberration two minutes before the break. Pushing out to play offside with the ball just twenty yards away is never the best idea, but to do it against such a potent striker as Mr Moriarty is, well…let’s just say that despite an initial brilliant one handed save from Kip it was no surprise to see the ball nestling in the back of the net.
The half-time team talk centred around the need to go back to basics and do the simple things right – like tackling, passing, running, heading etc. And in fairness we did, though unfortunately a third goal eight minutes after the restart virtually killed off all hope of getting something tangible out of the game. A hurried clearance fell straight to Brinsthorpe’s number 8 whose first-timer from 22 yards flew over Kip and in off the underside of the crossbar. When things aren’t going your way they go in. Adam’s introduction as an extra man up front at last saw Rangers’ back line troubled, with a header from Daz clipping the top of the bar and another effort being scrambled off the line before Mr Collinson swept home from close range with 15 minutes to go. Despite a much improved second half performance, however, Brinsthorpe held firm to deservedly take all three points and retain their interest in the promotion chase.
As for Fanzines, a very quiet dressing room afterwards suggested much reflection and, hopefully, the realisation that there is still much hard work to be done if the craving for end of season success is to be satisfied.
Team: Broughton, Lowe S, Doorly, Whittaker, Ravenscroft, Cowlard, Jones (Collinson), Shaw, Connor, Heithus (Sowerbutts), Smith
Scorer: Collinson
Fanzines (1) 5 [[Total Reclaims Demolition]] (0) 3
EMPAL Division Two
26 Mar 2006
Character was required by the lads in claret and amber after a shocking performance against Brinsthorpe last week which brought an end to the club record 9 wins on the bounce.
It was going to be tough. All the words on the grapevine were that TRD were a good but very physical side. Things were not helped when manager Andy 'alan titchmarsh' Lowe couldnt make it as he had done his back in tugging on his weeds.
There was no panic in the gaffer's eyes though as he gathered the squad on the pitch a full 20 minutes before kick off, cones in hand for a full premiership work out (we'll say no more on the sprint race between Mr Cowlard and Whitts). Warm up complete and back into the changing rooms for the announcement of todays team. Broughts(working), Wood in goal, Remzi back in for the absent Smith on the left and Heithus (working) replaced by Collinson, which left a strong bench made up of Timpson and Sowerbutts.
So to the game...
Fanzines started the half like they were still in Eastwood as TRD came out with all guns blazing, however chances were not created as a resolute back four held firm but the constant pressure would tell eventually (wouldnt it?) as TRD continued to set up camp in the claret and amber half of the superb Ruddington pitch, a long ball through the middle set Stevo on the way rounding the keeper 1-0! Alas, not to be, as an offside had been given by the referee. Looked a tight one but probably a good decision.
TRD came back once again, their mouthy but skillful number 9 sailing through two challenges before Whitts got his foot to the ball and nearly bagged his first of the season - it wouldve been a quality own goal if it hadnt been for the upright. 0-0 at half time would be great given the pressure but no one had told Steve who with a minute or so left beat the offside trap to slide it past the keeper and put us into an undeserved lead at half time.
The gaffer was quite calm considering - use the wings more and show some more passion without getting involved in the bickering coming from the opposition were the words from the messiah. The next 45 would show whether we really wanted this title - all would agree.
A goal in the first minute of the second half from TRD was the worst possible start wished for but probably deserved on reflection, a quick ball over the top and the ball drilled into the bottom corner, but this team doesnt lie down anymore and duly went up the other end and regained the lead - a superb cross from twigs and the clubs top scorer buried it past the flapping keeper. The second half continued swinging back and forth as TRD responded well again with a quite fantastic finish from the pacy striker when it seemed he was going nowhere.
Fanzines by now though were beginning to get the ball out wide using the left flank particularly well, twigs getting the better of the fullback again to get another sublime cross into Mr Connor who bagged his hat-trick. A fourth came soon after - this time remzi was in the right spot to take his time and slide the ball home all coming from good work by Adam. The referee was coming under increasing pressure from the players in orange and, after a scramble in the box, felt obliged to award a penalty against a very unlucky Gareth. So three minutes left, could TRD get an equaliser, would the nerves show? Or could we get another to finish them off?
Luckily stevo provided the answer with his fourth and the sides fifth to gain another 3 points in a game where we soaked up a lot of pressure but showed grit and determination to pull through in what is proving to be a tough and highly competitive season.
Gaffers MOM- tough decision for the gaffer in the pub afterwards, center mids gave 100%, Adam had another sound game, Stevo bagged another 4 but gaffer decided to give it to the guy whose pace down the left was a constant threat, setting up steve for a couple and scoring himself, Mr Neil Remzi.
Get well soon Mr Lowe!!
Team: Wood,Doorly,Lowe S(Timpson),Ravenscroft,Whittaker,Remzi,Cowlard,Shaw,Jones (Sowerbutts),Collinson,Connor
[[Butler United]] (0) 1 Fanzines Utd (0) 0
EMPAL Division Two
2 Apr 2006
Once again the manager decided his personal commitments were more important than this crucial fixture. So it was left to the gaffer to pick the team. Unfortunately Fred went sick overnight and was replaced by the ever patient Gareth, who got a well deserved recall. The other change saw Adey Jones drop to the bench to be replaced by Jimbo, Gary Goals joined Adey there after his return from a week off and Kip was also back between the posts.
Confidence seemed high, although we knew we’d be in for a tough game, especially starting against the wind in the first half. It was hard going as Butler seemed content to lump it over the top to their quick striker. Neil found it particularly tough on the left wing although the pitch was awful over there and he eventually swapped with Jimbo after about half an hour, which seemed to spur him on. Gareth slotted in nicely at full back and Whitts was immense at centre half. We just needed a lucky break and it seemed to have arrived when Lyndon swung in a good free-kick only to see it handled on the line by a Butler player. Unfortunately, for us the only person not to see it was the referee. As usual we soaked up a lot of pressure from Butler but got to half-time on level terms.
No changes at half-time and we just felt we needed to try and play a bit of football. However, it was not to be as only one team truly showed a belief and a desire to win (CLUE NOT FANZINES). It was a pretty even second half but we lacked a bit of flair, some quality and above all else composure. The difference told when half way through the second half, Butler took the lead. The ball broke to Butler’s solitary striker who got inside the penalty area and shot against Whitts leaving Kip no chance at all. Neil and Jimbo swapped wings again, but to no avail and Gary replaced Neil shortly afterwards. Joe injured his knee, so Adey was thrown on with Jimbo moving to left back. Although, we had about 8 corners and put Butler under a lot of pressure, we lacked a killer punch. The best chance fell to Steve who saw his goal bound shot brilliantly saved by the Butler keeper. Whitts went up front for the last 10 minutes, but still fanzines couldn’t find an equaliser.
MAN OF THE MATCH : Chris Whittaker (By a mile)
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO TEAMS: Desire to win, lack of quality and composure on the ball
Fanzines Utd (1) 2 [[Rushcliffe SHR]] (0) 2
EMPAL Division Two
9 Apr 2006
How exciting! Having cruised through the middle of the season and powered their way to the top of the table, recent results had seen a good old-fashioned Fanzines falter. Still top, but with points still required to guarantee both promotion and a much yearned for league title. Having recently lost to resurgent Brinsthorpe, a similar result against fellow promotion-pushers Rushcliffe on the succulent Elms Park pitch would throw the chase wide open. Down to the wire indeed…
The reunited management team found themselves with the forgotten luxury of an almost full squad from which to make their selection but, with G11 failing his customary early morning fitness test, there were only minor changes from the previous week’s defeat to Butler, leaving Dave and Ady to boost the tan quotient on the sub’s bench. It was immediately clear that both sides had players who were comfortable on the ball and had defenders who were competitive yet fair in the challenge.Whilst Fanzines saw their attempts to use the pace and skill of Steve constantly thwarted by Rushcliffe’s rapid centre-half, the away side began to impose themselves with a series of slick passing moves that, at times, left the claret back four looking pedestrian and resulted in Stuart being forced into a couple of outstanding saves. But the league leaders began to find their form as the half progressed and, having seen a firm header rebounding down from the crossbar (but apparently not over the line) from a Remzi corner, Fanzines took the leader from a blinding finish from the same player. Having closed down the full-back, Adam won the ball, cut inside and drilled it across the astonished keeper into the top corner. A belter.
With the score 1-0 at half-time the tone from Lowe & Harrison was certainly encouraging and, though the warning’s against complacency were issued, the expected second-half onslaught from Rushcliffe never materialised. For a team facing elemination from the title race, there was a strange lack of passion about their play. And when Whittaker headed home from Neil’s deep corner mid-way through the half to extend the lead it seemed to all concerned that the game was over. Attempting to shore up the match against Rushcliffe’s reshuffled 3-4-3, Andy replaced his wide men with more defensively minded options, and the game was indeed drifting to conclusion when a defensive clearance was volleyed back straight into the top corner by the opportunistic No. 10, much to the astonishment of all.
The grip on the trophy was loosened again. And when Stuart’s fluffed clearance fell to the oppostion striker who was then bundled over in the box in the last minute, the hand was in danger of coming off completely. The debate over the validity of the penalty was soon immaterial as the confident striker dragged the ball wide of the upright, resulting in the biggest cheer of the season from the Fanzines supporters. Surely now the game was won.
But no. As the minutes of added time ticked on, the ball was swept over to the unmarked feet of Rushcliffe’s penalty taker who, having sidled in from the left flank, had an agonising amount of time to control the ball and lash it past Stuart for the equaliser. The last kick of the game, and a change in fortunes that could have huge implications for both teams. Fanzines have been too close to promotion for too long without actually clinching it to belive that they have yet succeeded, whilst Rushcliffe and Brinsthorpe still have to play each other in what will prove to be an epic encounter. With memories of last year’s last-match failure against Notts Athletic still fresh in the minds, Fanzines know that victory in their final game gainst Total Reclaims will clinch the title at last and set the seal on a memorable campaign.
Team: Gadsby, Sowerbutts, Timpson, Whittaker, Ravenscroft, Cowlard, Remzi (Jones), Shaw, Connor (Heithus), Collinson, Smith (Lowe, S)
Sub Not Used (and gathering dust in the corner): Greenwood
Scorers: Collinson, Whittaker.
Man of the Match: Collinson
Match report - [[Total Reclaims Demolition]] (2) 5 v Fanzines United (0) 3
EMPAL Division Two
26 Apr 2006 7.30pm
Forget the disappointment of the result and look back on a successful season. OK, so we lost out on the league title after being top for three months but the very reason why the team has gained promotion was encapsulated in 45 minutes of football at South Normanton. 2-0 down at half-time against a team employing a linesman with arm set to auto-raise and whose mantra could well be - and, hey, probably is - ‘if it moves, kick it’, Andy’s team talk was never going to be easy. Nor, as it turned out, was it conventional, consisting as it did of throwing his mobile phone on the floor when it rang for approximately the 20th time in less than an hour (‘It’s no fun being elsewhere when all you want to be is with the lads’ said Whitts), swearing loudly and offering the odd piece of advice in a deliberately semi-accusatory manner, a highly unusual ritual which remarkably produced the desired affect as the second half was a completely new ball game.
Well, almost. 2-0 became 2-1 thanks to Stevos’ 30th of the season from close range before the worst crime of all - conceding within 60 seconds of kick-off - saw backs return to the wall. But what followed fair warmed the cockles of this scribe. A fightback of quite momentous character. A change in formation and personnel, throwing caution to the wind and Adam’s precision finish from close range with 15 minutes to go after good work from Dave and Jonesy - game on. Then, a towering, looping header from the excellent Collinson and it’s 3-3 with 10 minutes left on the clock.
Brinsthorpe, sat behind the goal with cigars on 15 minutes previous, are now squirming uncomfortably in their seats, wondering if all that beer money spent on Nevabeen was going to be worth it after all. There looks like being only one winner. Four minutes to go and Daz is clean through – to shoot or square it to Stevo, that is the question. He opts for the former and sees his effort well saved, the rebound prodded goalwards but agonisingly cleared off the line by a retreating defender. Then, with just a minute left on the clock and Fred pushed forward as an auxiliary striker, a quick break and it’s all over bar the fifth in injury time. The muppets goaded and clucked like they’d won the World Cup but the provocation brought nothing but a blind eye from the referee and, thankfully, blank looks from those in claret and amber. Their greatest achievement this season was apparently preventing us from winning the league. Ours was to gain promotion. Thanks, I’ll take that and hopefully never see you again.
The first season back in Division One for almost 10 years ended in Fanzines' [[highest ever|Club Records]] league finish, despite some peculiarly peculiar results.
''EMPAL Division 1''
|!Pos | !Team | !Pl | !W| !D | !L| !F|!A|!GD|!Pts|
|1| [[Burton Joyce A]] |18|12|5|1|47|28|19|41|
|2| [[Nottingham Law School]] |18|11|1|6|52|26|26|34|
|3| [[Radcliffe Olympic A]] |18|9|4|5|49|43|6|28|
|4| [[Fanzines United]] |18|8|2|8|40|46|-6|26|
|5| [[West Bridgford Albion]] |18|7|3|8|45|46|-1|24|
|6| [[West End]] |18|6|6|6|41|43|-2|24|
|7| [[Freeman & Mitchell]] |18|7|3|8|37|41|-4|24|
|8| [[Brinsthorpe Rangers]] |18|6|4|8|32|34|-2|22|
|9| [[Notts Athletic]] | 18|5|2|11|33|49|-16|17|
|10| [[White Swan]] |18|2|4|12|44|64|-20|10|
[[Match Reports 2006-07]]
[[Player of the Year|Ian Swanton Trophy]]: [[Adam Collinson]]
[[Top Goalscorer]]: ''22'' [[Stephen Connor]]
''@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;[[Season 2006-07|2006-07]] EMPAL Division 1@@''
| !Date | !Competition | !Opposition | !Score | !Result | !H/A | !Venue | !Scorers |
| 03/09/06 | EMPAL Div1 | [[West End]] | 2-0 | W | H | |Connor 2 |
| 10/09/06 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Brinsthorpe Rangers]] | 2-0 | W | A | [[Hall Park]] |Connor, Heithus |
| 17/09/06 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Burton Joyce A]] | 0-4 | L | H | [[Elms Park]] | |
| 24/09/06 | [[County Cup]] | Boat & Horses | 5-1 | W | H | [[Elms Park]] |Heithus 2, Connor 2, Remzi |
| 01/10/06 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Radcliffe Olympic A]] | 2-5 | L | A | Radcliffe-on-Trent |Brown D, Connor |
| 08/10/06 | EMPAL Div1 | [[White Swan]] | 5-2 | W | A | [[Ellis Guildford School]] |Greenwood, Brown D 3, Heithus |
| 15/10/06 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Freeman & Mitchell]] | 1-2 | L | A | [[Gresham]] |Brown D |
| 22/10/06 | [[County Cup]] | [[Wollaton Arms]] | 10-1 | W | H | [[Elms Park]] |Collinson, Connor 3, Heithus 2, Greenwood, Whittaker, Richmond 2 |
| 29/10/06 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Nottingham Law School]] | 4-3 | W | H | [[Elms Park]] |Connor 3, Timpson |
| 05/11/06 | [[EMPAL Cup]] | [[Clifton Bridge Inn]] | 5-0 | W | A | [[Farnborough Road]] |Connor 2, Collinson, Whittaker, Heithus |
| 12/11/06 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Notts Athletic]] | 2-0 | W | A | [[Alford Road]] |Heithus 2 |
| 19/11/06 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Radcliffe Olympic A]] | 4-4 | D | H | [[Elms Park]] |Heithus 2, Remzi, Collinson |
| 26/11/06 | [[EMPAL Cup]] | [[Nottingham Law School]] | 2-5 | L | A | [[Clifton Campus]] |Brown D, Whittaker |
| 03/12/06 | EMPAL Div1 | [[West Bridgford Albion]] | 2-6 | L | A | [[Gresham]] |Heithus 2 |
| 10/12/06 | EMPAL Div1 | [[West Bridgford Albion]] | 5-3 | W | H | [[Elms Park]] |Connor 2, Heithus, Remzi, Greenwood |
| 17/12/06 | EMPAL Div1 | [[West End]] | 2-2 | D | A | [[Hall Park]] |Remzi, Connor |
| 07/01/07 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Brinsthorpe Rangers]] | 1-3 | L | H | [[Elms Park]] |Connor |
| 21/01/07 | EMPAL Div1 | [[White Swan]] | 3-2 | W | H | [[Elms Park]] |Connor, Whittaker, Doorly |
| 28/01/07 | [[EMPAL Cup]] | [[Trent All Stars]] | 4-1 | W | A | |Connor 2, Doorly, Whittaker |
| 04/02/07 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Nottingham Law School]] | 0-3 | L | A | [[Clifton Campus]] | |
| 11/03/07 | [[EMPAL Cup]] | [[Nottingham Law School]] | 0-1 | L | H | [[Elms Park]] | |
| 18/03/07 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Burton Joyce A]] | 0-3 | L | A | Burton Joyce | |
| 25/03/07 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Freeman & Mitchell]] | 5-2 | W | H | [[Elms Park]] |Connor, Heithus 2, Remzi, Richmond|
| 15/04/07 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Notts Athletic]] | 0-2 | L | H | [[Elms Park]] | |
''@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;Players Stats@@''
| !Player | !Apps | !Goals |
| [[Stephen Connor]] | 23 | 22 |
| [[Adrian Jones]] | 23 | 0 |
| [[James Timpson]] | 22 | 1 |
| [[Adam Collinson]] | 22 | 3 |
| [[Darren Heithus]] | 21 | 16 |
| [[Joe Doorly]] | 21 | 2 |
| [[Chris Whittaker]] | 20 | 5 |
| [[Kip Broughton]] | 19 | 0 |
| [[Dan Brown]] | 19 | 6 |
| [[Neil Remzi]] | 18 | 5 |
| [[Dave Greenwood]] | 16 | 3 |
| [[Jonsy Biernat]] | 15 | 0 |
| [[Lyndon Cowlard]] | 14 | 0 |
| [[Duncan Richmond]] | 14 | 3 |
| [[Paul Ravenscroft]] | 13 | 0 |
| [[Rich Shaw]] | 11 | 0 |
| [[Fred Lowe]] | 10 | 0 |
| [[Graham Gilbert]] | 8 | 0 |
| [[Garry Smith]] | 3 | 0 |
| [[John Wood]] | 3 | 0 |
| [[Stuart Gadsby]] | 1 | 0 |
Fanzines Utd 2 v West End 0
The Gaffer may have got half the weather report wrong – there was indeed a wind approaching gale force proportions but no hint of the predicted torrential rain – but that was all as his first game back at the helm after seven seasons absent saw his charges claim a famous 2-0 victory over the defending league champions. West End made claim for missing key players but then so were the mighty claret and amber without Collinson, Remzi, Greenwood, Gilbert and the retired Sowerbutts – all five key players in last season promotion-winning squad. Still, a squad is not a squad without good reason and as they missed out so did others grab the chance for glory.
With Elms Park’s new pavilion having failed its building inspection it was down to the other end of the village and the prospect of changing two at a time in what are officially the smallest changing rooms ever built. Most took advantage of the late Summer sun to change al fresco, another reason for being grateful that The Gaffer’s barometer was on the blink. Still, the wind to contend with and when Lyndon called incorrectly the prospect of a first half defending deep loomed. However…the home side started brightly and passed the ball around with something approaching confidence, leaving The Gaffer and his assistants on the touchline to ponder if a shock might well be on the cards. Chances at either end were few and far between as defences looked on top, Ravo and Whitts having to be at their best to marshal the ever threatening presence of Arnold Town front man, Kevin Mabon. But while one number 9 was struggling to make his mark the other was simply biding his time. Half an hour gone and fine interplay down the right enabled Jonesy to pick out Dan at the far post. A mixture of anticipation and bravery from the southern Mancunian got the ball back across goal where a delighted Stevo slid home between keeper and post. 1-0 and game very much on. There then followed the home sides best spell of the match, with Dan fizzing the ball across the six yard box, Daz scraping the outside of the post and then being denied a clear penalty when bundled down from behind (some effort by the covering defender!) before Stevo’s follow-up was headed off the line. It wasn’t until five minutes before half-time that West End really threatened, first forcing Kip into a fine save and then having a wind-assisted 30-yard speculator come back off the bar.
All talk at the break was of upping the work rate further and keeping the ball, the first of which proved necessary and the second difficult as West End upped their game. The crossbar and Kip again saved the day in a crazy 30 second spell midway through the second 45, which ended with Jimbo heading off the line as the referee thankfully blew for a free-kick to relieve the pressure with Rich Shaw lying prone in the six yard box. At the other end chances were few and far between but Daz and Stevo continued to work hard and with Lyndon finally bringing some composure to the middle of the park there was relief all round as last season top scorer sprang the offside trap with 14 minutes remaining and finished over the advancing keeper with nonchalant ease. A resilient final quarter of an hour produced little in the way of alarm despite the visitors throwing caution against the wind what appeared to be a 4-2-4 formation. Indeed, the nearest either side came was when substitute Fred followed up a brave challenge in the middle of the park by sending a 35-yarder just the wrong side of the post with the keeper nowhere. So, still just the one lone goal in a 12 year career for the Fanzines veteran.
The final whistle signalled much delight both on and off the pitch, with all credit to West End who were magnanimous after having suffered their first league defeat for over sixteen months. Before a ball was kicked all talk was of how tough this season was going to be. If this game is any indicator it will definitely be so, but the result also proves the club has the potential to be a competitive force with players of an ability to surprise not only the opposition but also maybe themselves…
The Gaffer’s smile rating 6/10 – OK for a start but could do better.
Team: Broughton, Timpson, Doorly (Richmond), Whittaker, Ravenscroft, Cowlard, Jones, Shaw (Lowe S), Connor, Heithus, Brown (Smith).
Scorer: Connor x 2
''[[Brinsthorpe Rangers]] 0 v Fanzines Utd 2''
Sunday saw the eagerly anticipated rematch with last seasons Division 2 champions Brinsthorpe Rangers. Keen to lay to rest the ghosts of the dismal conclusion to the 05/06 season, and to reaffirm the belief that Brinsthorpes title had been gained not only on merit, but the unfortunate deduction of points from others. The claret and ambers were again without key players ensuring that The Gaffer didn't have the luxury of fielding an unchanged team.
Ravos absence (deputised superbly by Adam) forced the only notable alteration to the starting eleven, but the return of Remzi, as well as the signing of Jonsy meant that the bench, also warmed by Duncan and Fred, was not only crowded, but boasting an abundance of pace and talent.
A fairly slow start by both teams, owing partly to the unseasonably warm weather and part to caution from the top flights new pair, saw very few chances in the opening twenty minutes. A moment of early indecision from Kip saw the ball break to an attacker, but for the second week running, Jimbo was able to hack clear from the line. Testing corners from both sides led to snatched efforts, on one occasion Brinsthorpe again beating a challenge; this time Adie stood firm to nod away when an opener looked on. At the other end, Brinsthorpes new goalkeeper looked confident with both kicking and handling and opportunities were at a premium.
The breakthrough came when a hopeful but wayward cross was intercepted by Kip, his throw to Dan, having swapped wings with Jonesy, was carried forward unchallenged until an inside pass in the last third to Daz saw the big centre forward turn first inside, then out, then back in again, before unleashing a shot from well outside the box. The slightest of touches from the Brinsthorpe challenge did little to alter the flight of the ball as it flew into the back of the net.
Brinsthorpe continued to probe, but the back four, this week resembling a San Tropez swatch (Adams honeymoon return running the permatanned Jimbo to a close second) comfortably dealt with everything thrown at them.
The second half started in a similar vain as the first had ended; Fanzines playing neat football through the middle, Brinsthorpe continuing to try long, angled deliveries that had been so successful in last seasons corresponding encounter. Corners from Adie and Dan tested the aerial resolve of the home team, whilst the front two of Steve and Daz upped their already impressive work rate to ensure errors were made by the Brinsthorpe back line. The dynamic duo in the centre of the park had made their intentions clear with several tough challenges. Those penalised led to free kicks in dangerous positions, but all resulted by in large to the solidity of the back line to nothing. The single time the defence was breeched, Jonesy was once again able clear from the line.
As the clock ticked, a BEAUTIFULLY FLIGHTED free kick from JOE (NOT TWIGGY) from the middle of the park eluded the Brinsthorpe line and Stevo, as so often before, brought the ball down comfortably before slotting home from eight yards.
Frustration from Brinsthorpe did little to improve their chances, and the introduction of a fresh Duncan and Fred to tighten things up meant that for all their efforts, the home side were unrewarded.
A second win, a second clean sheet. Most importantly, the attitude; chasing back, supporting, covering and encouraging. The start to the season has been by no means easy, but with the right frame of mind, we can maybe cause a few more 'shocks'.
Team: Broughton, Timpson, Doorly (Lowe S), Whittaker, Collinson, Cowlard, Jones (Richmond), Shaw, Connor, Heithus, Brown (Remzi)
Scorers: Heithus, Connor
''Fanzines Utd 0 [[Burton Joyce A]] 4''
[img[http://photos-c.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v107/49/40/675480657/n675480657_171626_3020.jpg]]
Most of us have been playing football all of our lives. When we first started playing, in our back gardens or streets or living rooms or kitchens, it was the sheer pleasure of being able to move this thing, this ball, that made us do it. Maybe we’d seen other people do the same thing, other kids maybe, or family members, or maybe we’d been taken to join huge crowds watching tiny people in the distance doing something similar. Maybe it was the desire to join in, or the desire to control this object that motivated us. For those that it gripped, it became something unavoidable. This football became a focus of our attention. It became our world. If we could master the ball we could master the world. And, most of all, it was fun.
We honed our skills in the playground, day after day. We learned of heroes and imagined that we could play like them. We dreamed of being good enough to be watched by those huge crowds. We bought the shirts; we wore the boots; we wanted to be picked first. We joined teams and began to learn what it felt like to play proper games against proper teams. We learned how to win, and how to lose. We learned we weren’t good enough. We were too old, too slow, too fat, too thin, too small, too timid, too weak. We would never make it to the top.
But still we play. Because it means we can feel part of something. Because we can challenge ourselves to be as good as we’re ever going to be. Because we can gather on a sunny Sunday morning and look forward to a top of the table clash in the top division of our league. We’ve earned this; by improving together for two seasons of hard work and success; by two great wins at the start of this season. We may never be in this position again and we all want it to continue. It’s fun to play, to be involved, in a successful team. No one else may know or care, but we do. It matters to us. It matters when Twiggy finds himself clean through in the opening minutes and sees his shot pushed around the post. It matters when a cross from the left is not closed down, is misjudged by Whitts and is headed into the net by the Burton Joyce striker. And when we fail to clear our lines and a dropping ball is cleanly volleyed into the bottom corner, we all feel it. What we feel the most though is that we’re not doing ourselves justice. We know what we’re doing wrong. We know we can do better. We’ve been playing and learning this game all our lives.
So we strive and battle. We’re frustrated by our inability to impose ourselves on the game. We lose Rich Shaw, our midfield force, to a serious knee injury. We start to focus our frustrations on each other and on the perceived injustices of the referee. Two further sloppy goals are conceded through a mixture of poor communication and poor marking. We forget that we are not significantly inferior to the opposition. Older maybe, and probably less fit, but in the periods when we prove we can actually pass and control the ball we create chances that Adam and Dave and Garry would expect to have converted. And we tell ourselves that the scoreline was perhaps not a true reflection of the difference between the two sides and that, on another day, against another team, with a full strength side, the performance and the result would be different. So we continue to practice, and we all want to be picked, and we all want to be involved, because it’s fun to play this game, we’ve been doing it all our lives, and we’re not going to stop now.
Team: Broughton, Timpson, Doorly, Whittaker, Ravenscroft, Cowlard, Jones (Biernat), Shaw (Greenwood), Remzi, Collinson, Brown (Smith)
Subs Not Used: S Lowe, Richmond
''Fanzines United 5 Boat & Horses 1''
County Cup
24 Sep 2006
They were rubbish. Had a man sent off for swearing at the linesman (Dave). We won at a canter.
''[[Radcliffe Olympic]] (1) 5 Fanzines Utd (1) 2''
EMPAL Div One
1 Oct 2006
So, this is how it happened. Devoid of goalkeepers due to last second cancellations, the Gaffer asked for volunteers and Twiggy bravely stepped forward. Jimbo was hiding out in Derbyshire after another run in with The Man, having crossed the county line to escape capture, so Fred utilised his height at right-back rather than between the sticks, and Adam continued at centre-half. On the big, sloping pitch, memories of the 5-6 cup defeat from last season were still fresh in many minds and an early Olympic onslaught was expected but it was Fanzines who looked more comfortable at the start. A few half chances went begging before Dave won the ball in the centre and slid a reverse path through to Dan who outpaced the full-back and lashed it first time into the net. And, to be honest, the clarets were pretty comfortable for the rest of the first half until an Olympic corner to the near post was spilled by Neil and poked home by the grateful forward. A cheap goal, and a bit of a sickener after the industrious and composed performance, but very much the story of the match.
Olympic were clearly struggling to put out a fit squad and had made two changes by the start of the second half, but Fanzines began the second period slightly sloppily and failed to expose any weaknesses in the opposition. Even so, the goal with which Olympic took the lead was a pure fluke, as the winger mis-hit a cross from the right which sailed over the back-pedalling Remzi into the top of the net. And suddenly the few flair players in the home team began to play, running at the Fanzines defence, dragging players out of position and forcing rash challenges. Free-kicks from the edge of the box began to be conceded, and from this the blues made it 3-1, as the ball was rolled to the side and drilled fiercely into the bottom corner. As impressive as that strike was, the fourth that came a few minutes later was ridiculously frustrating as another lofted shot from way outside the box sailed over Twiggy’s fingers and into the goal. Three cheap goals from nothing and Fanzines were completely undone yet, if just a few of the chances that the clarets created in the last quarter of the game had been taken, a point may still have been salvaged. Instead, a move to three at the back created space for the home side who capitalised with a quick breakaway goal to make it 5-1. Fanzines got a late consolation as Dave prodded a pass through to Steve who, having been initially blocked by the onrushing keeper, managed to sweep the ball into the net from a prone position, but the overwhelming feeling at the end of the game was one of immense frustration that 3 points had been thrown away. At least the team is proving to be competitive in the top division this season, but the results have shown that every point will be vital thoughout the year in order to avoid slipping back down the leagues.
Team: Remzi, Lowe S, Doorly, Collinson, Ravenscroft, Cowlard, Jones (Richmond), Greenwood, Heithus (Smith), Connor, Brown
Subs Not Used: None
Goals: Brown, Connor
''[[White Swan]] (0) 2 Fanzines United (0) 5''
EMPAL Div One
8 Oct 2006
You get to see some interesting places on these Sunday morning jaunts. A trip to a demilitarized complex just round the corner from the old Commodore venue for a game on a tiny pitch against the hard-battling White Swan, anyone? Yes please. Sweet.
The previous week’s goalkeeping issues were soothed by the return of Kip, whilst Jimbo managed to avoid the drink, the clubs and The Law to slot into the right-back spot. Swan were clearly up for the game and started strongly, contesting every ball and questioning every decision, never a good sign when Eric the silently wheezing ref is involved. Much of the Swan play (and noise) revolved around the combative number six in midfield, and both Lyndon and Dave worked hard to meet his challenges head on. As the pitch was so small, there was little chance to get the ball down and play, but equally neither side was able to stretch the opposition out of shape. The better, clearer chances fell to Fanzines players but time and composure was absent in a satisfactory, but ultimately unproductive, first half.
The deadlock was broken mid-way through the second period. As a Fanzines free-kick was won in the centre of the pitch, The Gaffer barked his instructions to Dan (“Hit it”) and Dave (“Follow it in”), and as the keeper duly spilled the strongly struck shot, Dave was able to nudge the ball over the line with a deft flick of his upper right thigh/testicle. And, to be honest, that appeared to be the end of it. There was a limited threat coming from the boys in blue (and red) as Adam and Ravo repelled all advances, whilst Fanzines were rarely given space to manufacture an opening. Then, mishap. Kip’s miscued goalkick fell straight to the head of the White Swan striker who nodded it forward to his strike colleague, and he volleyed the ball over the annoyed keeper. For those who had experienced the turnaround of the previous week, a familiar sinking feeling may have begun to spread. Fortunately, the game was turned in the claret’s favour. Dave found himself in the box and his misplaced sideways pass evaded Joe but found Dan’s speedy left foot and the ball was taught the meaning of goal. (ahem).
When you’re hot, even toe poke tackles/crosses fly into the net, as Dan proved with his second as he prodded the ball from the touch line into the very top corner. And when Daz curled a belter round the retreating centre-halves and floundering keeper to make it 4-1, the scene was set for a hotly contested goal-of-the-match debate.
Swan pulled a goal back with a well executed cross/header combo, though some Fanzines players had stopped playing at the time since the ref was in the process of trying to sanction a substitution, bless him. Still, no matter, as Dan was able to complete his hat-trick, benefiting from Richmond and Biernat induced havoc in the Swan box. Overall, a very pleasing result, three very valuable points in the bag and another indication that the claret’s should be able to attain at least a mid-table position in the league this season.
Team: Broughton, Timpson (Lowe S), Doorly, Collinson, Ravenscroft, Cowlard, Jones, Greenwood, Heithus (Richmond), Connor (Biernat), Brown
Subs Not Used: None
Goals: Greenwood, Brown x3, Heithus
''[[Freeman & Mitchell]] (0) 2 Fanzines United (1) 1''
EMPAL Div One
15 Oct 2006
It’s always the games that we should learn the most from that are the ones that we want to forget. Fresh from the determined victory over White Swan, Fanzines returned to their former home at Gresham to play a Freeman & Mitchell side propping up the Division One league table. The recipe for complacency was completed when it emerged that the home side had only mustered ten fit players, and though pre-match talk concentrated on ignoring the extra man advantage it was surely the reason for the sluggish start to the game. Freeman adopted a canny 3-5-1 formation, sitting very deep and denying Fanzines any opportunity to exploit any spaces behind the back-line. The clarets continually found themselves with time and space with the ball amongst the unhurried back four, but then were quickly closed down as soon as the ball was moved forward. Sharper passing and more varied movement may have created more opportunities, but as it was the game became dour and monotonous. To their credit, Freeman worked hard to impose themselves with their skilful number 9 continually forcing both Adam and Ravo to make emergency challenges and interceptions, whilst their deep-lying midfielder began to control the game with his passing, consistently pulling the Fanzines midfield out of shape as they strove to close him down. Just as the game appeared to be heading for a half-time stalemate Fanzines were awarding a free-kick on the edge of the box when a rare passing move was adjudged to have been interrupted by a misplaced tackle on Dave, though the contact was minimal. Regardless, Dan’s goal-scoring form continued, as he drove the ball under the wall to give the visitors an undeserved lead.
The Gaffer struggled to hide his frustrations at the break, but refrained from making any changes to formation or personnel. As the second period progressed though it became increasingly apparent that Fanzines were unlikely to extend their advantage without adopting a more attacking approach, a change that never materialised. Then, just as Fanzines’ first goal came out of the blue, Freeman equalised. The Freeman striker held up the ball well, and as he was closed down he layed the ball off to the oncoming midfielder. Though the resulting shot from way outside the box was struck firmly at the middle of goal, Kip will be bitterly disappointed that his handling was for once flawed as the ball spilled from his grasp and into the net. Gaffer attempted to shake some lethargy from his side by replacing Dan and Dave with Jonsy and Whitts, but there appeared to be no greater cohesion or urgency from the clarets. Instead, it was Freeman who increased their dominance, never once appearing to suffer from being a man short. It seemed inevitable when Freeman took the lead as Lyndon’s failed challenge in the box allowed the Freeman striker to run onto the ball and smash it home. And a third very nearly followed as Fanzines were twice exposed at the back as they piled forward in search of an equaliser, lucky to escape when the freeman striker won a one on one tussle with Joe and saw his shot rebound off the post. Fanzines were sunk. A criminal loss of three points, especially in the context of a league where any of the teams are clearly capable of beating any other on any given Sunday. Passion and frustration spilled over into recrimination in the changing room. If this match is to prove to be a turning point in the season, the challenge is to convert it into a positive experience and to ensure that such a defeat never happens again.
Team: Broughton, Timpson, Doorly, Collinson, Ravenscroft, Cowlard, Jones, Greenwood (Whittaker), Heithus, Connor, Brown (Biernat)
Subs Not Used: Lowe S, Richmond
Goal: Brown
''Fanzines United (6) 10 [[Wollaton Arms]] FC (0) 1''
County Cup
22 Oct 2006
You win some, and you lose some. Or rather, you win one and you lose one. The recent yo-yo of results saw Fanzines bouncing back to the sloping pitch on the backside of Elms Park for the second of a continuing series of County Cup games. Wollaton Arms of the EMPAL 2nd Division had knocked out 1st Division Radcliffe Olympic in the previous round and had played in the top flight themselves in the previous season, so the possibility of another upset was lingering in the air like the odour of rotting shinpads. In the home side’s changing room prior to the game, The Gaffer and his new trainee (Anton?) were keen to stress the importance of concentrating on the basics and establishing a base from which the team could impose itself, but could scarcely believe that their words would be acted on so effectively.
With both the wind and the slope in their faces, Fanzines started the game strongly and never looked back. Within the first five minutes, Stevo picked up the ball on the left flank, skinned the stocky full-back and slammed it past the keeper at the near post. A couple of minutes later, the same two players came together in the box and the ref had no hesitation in penalising the foul despite the furious protests of the Wollaton players, a theme which was to dominate the rest of the game. Unperturbed, Dave maintained his 100% record from the spot. Fanzines were rampant, exposing space behind the high Wollaton back-line and using the pace on the flanks of Jonsy and Duncan. Uncertainty was spreading throughout the opposition, symbolised by the mix-up between keeper and defender when failing to deal with Fred’s cross which gifted a simple tap-in for Daz. Duncan’s ability to run with the ball first created a chance for Daz which was narrowly put wide, before an almost identical cross was brilliantly flicked home by Steve. The same player was quickly able to complete his hat-trick when Dave’s clipped cross was missed completely by the permanently-annoyed full-back, gifting a chance in the six-yard box that he was never going to miss. Even Whitts got in on the act, celebrating another of Lyndon’s freeloading holidays by intercepting the ball in the centre circle and running away from the defenders to beat the keeper with ease.
A very satisfactory first half performance, with the only concern being the increasingly robust challenges that the frustrated Wollaton players were beginning to unleash. Certainly, the away side were more determined and committed in the second 45 minutes and Fanzines had to work hard to maintain their composure and discipline. The long passes that had worked so well in the first half were proving difficult to control as they were blown down the slope by the strong wind, and it was Wollaton that had the first success mid-way through the half. The pacey number 9 was forced sideways across the box before Adam blotted his outstanding performance at centre-half with a rash challenge, and Kip had little chance with the resulting penalty. Stevo was brought off for a deserved breather, with The Gaffer keen both to protect his goalscoring asset and encourage the oncoming Twiggy to exhaust himself so much that he would stop shouting. Fanzines finally found the net in the second half with two poachers goals from Duncan, a fine reward for an effective if erratic performance. Adam rose smartly to head home Tiggy’s corner to make it 9-1, before Daz showed Dave how to convert a one-on-one with the keeper, slamming the tenth in off the far post with a left footed curler.
So the County Cup run continues, and the prospect of a trip to the cultured landscapes of Mansfield and Long Eaton grow ever more likely. The task for the team now is to maintain the consistency and string a run of results together, but as far as effort, workrate and discipline are concerned, this performance was close to faultless.
Team: Broughton, Lowe S, Doorly, Collinson, Ravenscroft, Whittaker, Richmond (Jones), Greenwood, Heithus, Connor (Remzi), Biernat
Sub Not Used: Timpson
Goals: Connor x3, Greenwood (pen), Heithus x2, Whittaker, Richmond x2, Collinson
''Fanzines Utd (2) 4 v [[Nottingham Law School]] (1) 3''
EMPAL Div One
29 Oct 2006
//Forgive me if some of what follows is factually incorrect but I am not overly familiar with either the team or the players representing it…//
The team in claret and amber had only eleven players and no substitutes, although it was later to be argued by their opponents in blue and white that they had a twelfth man in the shape of the referee whose beard was indeed one of wonder.
For the opening half an hour the away side appeared more at home, sending a couple of efforts just wide and generally looking the more settled of the two. The home side looked as though they had a few players playing out of position and it was no surprise when the back four stood gawping at each other like they’d only just met while the centre-forward picked his spot past the rather angry goalkeeper. Despite said player appearing at least six yards offside the linesman was accepting no blame, chastising those he seemed to know with a “Play to the whistle” admonishment. Wise words indeed. Has he ever thought of playing the game himself I wonder?
Or perhaps he had a plan, for the injustice at last led to some lovely football from the home side playing up the slope. Firstly the young pup of a right back took time out from crafting a stunning hair style to start and finish a flowing move while a second equally well worked goal, this time down the left, soon followed, the ball being swept home by an eye-catching boy racer of a centre-forward with go fast stripes on his boots. Credit, too, a fine run and cross by an excitable little fellow who answered to the name of Twiggy.
So, 2-1 at half-time to my adopted team and an entertaining first 45 into the bargain. Unfortunately, playing down the slope appeared to affect the mouths and limbs of the home side as the promising form of the first-half’s final fifteen minutes was seemingly left on the touchline. All went to pot with two preventable goals and three points looked like being tossed carelessly away. However, team spirit, determination and encouragement, all vital aspects to the game of football – and even more so when passes go astray and tackles are lost - appeared from nowhere and with it the laws of physics upheld. The flow down slope began anew. One penalty claim turned down, followed by another and despite protests from the visitors – more surely of frustration than injustice as contact was clearly made – the pointing to the spot by the man in black (the ‘twelfth man’). Then, confusion, as the player named as club penalty taker and with a proud 100% record nobly sacrificed his own ambitions for the good of the team, handing responsibility to the boy racer. With hindsight, a good decision. The keeper went the same way as the ball but the pace from the go fast boots was too much and the Mitre Matchplay nestled in the corner.
Less than ten minutes remaining and a game to be won, but by whom? Both sides seemed to believe they could but only one would. A cross from the limping Twiggy, a well-judged leave from the big bustling centre-forward following a shout from the boy racer and a finish, well, a finish of the highest order. The ball dropped and seemingly without thinking was dispatched back from whence it came, on the half volley high into the top corner, whistling as it went. A winner worthy of any game and with just added time to be played, it proved to be so of this one. A seven goal thriller and a strengthening of position in the top half of the table. What more could a spectator ask for? This one will indeed be back for more.
Team: Broughton, Timpson, Biernat, Lowe S, Collinson, Whittaker, Jones, Greenwood, Heithus, Connor, Remzi
Scorers: Connor x 3 (1 pen), Timpson
''[[Clifton Bridge Inn]] (0) 0 Fanzines United (2) 5''
EMPAL Cup 2nd Round
5 Nov 2006
Ah, the magic of the cup cliché. It’s a great leveller. Where lowly teams can dare to dream of glamour ties against the giants of EMPAL Division One. To compete at the highest level. To make a name for themselves against the West Ends, Law Schools and Fanzines of this world. Yep, for having spent years being the underdogs, the clarets are now mixing it (surprisingly well) with the big boys, and the possibility of an upset was on the cards against the Clifton Bridge side of Div Four. Fanzines’ recent cup history has been spectacularly poor, but maybe this year the side would be able to put together a decent run to emulate the legendary side of the mid-90s?
If the Gaffer mentioned the weather during his pre-match talk (and to be honest I can’t remember) he would’ve said that it was a perfect autumnal day for football, clear and bright and dry on a decent pitch down at Farnborough Road. At this level, it’s hard to identify whether the opponents are likely to be a challenge or not, but Clifton certainly lacked neither height nor a professional number of water bottles. A potentially dangerous combination…
But it was Fanzines, fresh from back to back league wins, who sped into an early lead when early pressure was converted into goals from two corners from Twiggy. Firstly, Adam rose unchallenged to power home a header, and then Whitts drilled in a second following some Daz-induced chaos in the six yard box. Clifton struggled to cope with the pace down the flanks and channels, with Steve consistently tormenting the back four but, though a few half-chances were created, the first half lead was not extended. The expected challenge from the home side never really materialised, with the Fanzines back line dealing well with everything thrown at them.
It wasn’t really until the second half that Fanzines began to control the game and make it comfortable for themselves. The passing and movement improved, and Clifton began to lose their individual battles and their heads, turning their attentions to the (mostly correct) decisions of the young but strictly efficient ref. The lead was extended with two deserved goals for Steve, though neither was particularly spectacular. One a chip into an empty net after Daz again had caused a bit of mess in the penalty area; the other a rather weakly hit shot which dribbled straight through the exasperated keeper. With the game won, the Gaffer exercised his options from the bench, protecting Whitt’s delicate ankles with the return of Lyndon, who was involved in the build up to the fifth goal as Dave’s pass found its way through to Daz, who finished tidily. With Clifton reduced to first 10 men through injury, and then 9 through indiscipline, Fanzines revelled in the space and time and really should’ve extended the lead further with a number of missed opportunities. If Aidy isn’t kicking himself for failing to score from two yards then I’m sure there are few volunteers to do it for him. Still, save it for when it really matters, eh.
The dream of the treble remains intact. Who know what trinkets await come the season’s end?
Team: Broughton, Timpson, Doorly, Collinson, Ravenscroft, Whittaker (Colward), Jones, Greenwood, Heithus (Richmond), Connor, Remzi (Brown)
Subs Not Used: None
Goals: Collinson, Whittaker, Connor x2, Heithus
''[[Notts Athletic]] (0) 0 v Fanzines Utd (1) 2''
EMPAL Div One
12 Nov 2006
I was going to start this report with a succession of plauditatory words, each carefully chosen to express my feelings of pride at having watched what I consider to be one of our most complete team performances of recent times. But then I received an email from Jonesy on Monday morning and he used a word I must admit I hadn’t thought of but wish I had as it probably sums up Sunday’s 90 minutes far more succinctly. Belief. ‘We just seem to have a belief that we are capable of beating these teams now ‘, said the wise old number 7. And you know what, I reckon he’s right. In fact, I know he’s right. Because as well as displaying no little skill, passion, strength and determination there was a palpable sense of belief, of a knowledge that we were going to win the game. Weird I know, but I never doubted us and it all boils down to the confidence we seem to take from each other. From the moment Stevo’s tenacity forced a mistake and his unselfish pass allowed Daz to calmly pick his spot to the time Kip reached to safely collect the first cross into the box with the calm air of a man on a night time scrump, from Adam climbing and dominating to win every header to Ravo quietly going about his business by picking off one well-timed tackle after another. And so it goes on. Joe Doorly, the laugh-a-minute left-back, up against a player of no little skill and pace but who never once got to keep the ball long enough to deliver a punchline. Lyndon and Dave, outnumbered but unbowed in the centre of midfield, slowly but surely forcing our opponents deeper and providing key interceptions. Jonesy and Dan, tucking in to help out the beleagured twosome early on but then taking stock and providing width and menace down the flanks. And just when it was most needed, minutes into the second half, a dream of a second goal. The masterful Jimbo, robbing the left winger and striding purposefully forward, exchanging passes with Dave before releasing Stevo down the right. A trick or treat piece of play to leave the devilish Tank on his back side and an inch perfect cross to the Dazzler, poacher supreme in the six yard box. “It’s better than watching Notts” declared Justin and he, of all long suffering souls, should know. And then, as aching limbs craved added impetus, the introduction of the fresh legs crew, Jonsy and Dunc, pace and enthusiasm in abundance. Thirteen contributors to one big believable whole.
Team: Broughton, Timpson, Doorly, Collinson, Ravenscroft, Cowlard, (Richmond), Jones, Greenwood, Connor, Heithus, Brown (Biernat)
Scorers: Heithus x 2
''Fanzines Utd (0) 4 [[Radcliffe Olympic]] (2) 4''
EMPAL Div One
19 Nov 2006
Another Sunday and another must-win game, though anyone who had any thoughts that a top-flight, top of the table clash (Fanzines' most high-profile game for years) would obviously stand out from the crowd were soon put in their place as the hordes conspicuously failed to appear, the bunting was absent, the comedy ref tottered to his centre spot pedestal, and Daz spent the warm-up chucking his guts onto the Elms Park turf. It was just another Sunday League game after all, but what a Sunday League game!
Radcliffe had used their victory over the clarets earlier in the season as a springboard to five successive league wins and a top spot on the table, whilst Fanzines recent form had seen them stumble and then reform themselves into a robust and confident side. This was reflected on the pitch in a very even and closely contested first 35 minutes where neither side gained an advantage or exposed many weaknesses in the opposition. It was something of a shock then that Fanzines found themselves two goals down at half-time. Radcliffe’s opener came from a fine finish from outside of the box from the skilful number 10, but only after Fanzines failed to clear the ball and their lines, whilst the second was a mis-hit finish following a mix-up at the back. Strong words were rightly spoken at the break, with the Gaffer doing his best to instil both passion and belief into the team, but the task was a daunting one.
Radcliffe are a good side, very much resembling Tottenham Hotspur under Ossie Ardiles, with their front five flying forward at all opportunites, running at defenders and creating opportunities for each other. Unfortunately for Radcliffe however, they very much resemble Tottenham Hotspur under Ossie Ardiles, and are definitely suspect at the back. This was evident in a dramatic second half, which saw them go three goals up with a well taken finish from a nice team move. Fanzines were on the verge of capitulating, with recriminations and accusations bouncing around the pitch and the touchline, and it’s certain that in such circumstances even a year ago the match would’ve ended as a rout. But the scoreline was clearly not a reflection of the difference between the teams, and slowly but surely things began to happen for the home side. The much needed breakthrough came when Dave slid a pass through to Daz who slipped it neatly past the keeper, and minutes later a second as the same player bundled a lob into the net after great work from the tireless Steve. Fanzines were back in the game! Or were they, as Radcliffe restored their lead from another smart finish from the number 10 after the ball broke kindly to him from a poor clearance from Stuart.
Fanzines were done for. Or maybe not. With 5 minutes to go, with Gaffer throwing all his subs into the action, another through-ball from Steve found Twiggy attacking the space on the right flank and he calmly guided the ball into the corner. One goal in it. Fanzines pouring forward, down the hill. The referee waves away a couple of penalty shouts from his centre-circle vantage point. Still, forward the clarets go. Duncan wins a corner which Twiggy flights in. Met by Adam. Over the bar! That’s it! No! Another corner is won. Twiggy launches it to the back post. Met by Adam again. In! 4-4!! In the last minute! A magnificent comeback. The crowd go mental. Daz does his best David Pleat celebration. Fanzines see out the last minute. And it’s over. A point rescued, another point towards avoiding relegation and, who knows, maybe even for challenging for the title. The impression is given that Radcliffe don’t seem too bothered with the result, and maybe they’re not. Maybe they all play at a higher level and this Sunday stuff is all for fun, but, for Fanzines, fun doesn’t get much better than beating the big boys and winning the league. Now, how funny would that be?
Team: Gadsby, Timpson, Doorly, Collinson, Ravenscroft, Cowlard (Richmond), Jones (Remzi), Greenwood, Heithus, Connor, Brown (Biernat)
Subs Not Used: None
Goals: Heithus x2, Remzi, Collinson
''[[Nottingham Law School]] (1) 5 v Fanzines United (1) 2''
County Cup
26 Nov 2006
Football. The perennial game of two halves. In this case, the first was a closely-fought and keenly contested one which deservedly finished with honours even. The second by contrast was a largely one-sided affair which was won by the side who upped a gear and made the least mistakes.
After being sent to Coventry due to my late arrival (sorry) there was much time to reflect on an opening 45 minutes which was good to watch, with both sides playing some neat football and posing a threat. Law School opened the scoring after 25 minutes when a cross shot from the inside left channel was drilled across the exposed Kip into the bottom corner and Fanzines responded 10 minutes before the break with Dan’s ever menacing swinger (right foot) tidying up after Twiggy’s excellent free-kick forced an equally splendid save. Given a starting role up front due to the abscessed and absent Dazzler, Twiggy was a constant threat in the first half, linking well with Stevo and nearly giving the away side the lead when just failing to turn the ball into an empty net from the most difficult of angles minutes before the break.
Unfortunately that was to prove the last real effort of menace until the game was all but over as a number of inexplicable errors gifted progress into the next round to the opposition. Their uncharacteristic nature made it an almost surreal spell of football to watch and those involved will I’m sure take solace and reflect that the ways in which the three goals scored between the 65th and 75th minutes occurred are unlikely to happen again in a hurry. And anyway, as one wise old sage was overheard to say, better to make all your mistakes in one game and put the result beyond doubt than chip away over three or four and risk continued mayhem. The belief, it is fair to say, had left the building.
So, the County Cup hoodoo continues and a Fanzines team is still to go beyond the last 16 of the competition. But with two crucial back-to-back league games against West Bridgford Albion to come, there’s surely never been a better time to re-group and dig out the old ‘concentrating on the league’ cliché. Back on it chaps.
Team: Broughton, Timpson, Doorly, Collinson, Ravenscroft (Whittaker), Cowlard, Jones (Biernat), Greenwood, Connor, Remzi, Brown (Richmond)
Scorers: Brown, Whittaker
''[[West Bridgford Albion]] (2) 6 v Fanzines Utd (1) 2''
EMPAL Div One
4 Dec 2006
[img[Team 2006-07|http://photos-a.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v99/49/40/675480657/n675480657_167412_1196.jpg]]
A strong wind coupled with a strong willed opposition made for a torrid time at Gresham playing fields for the men in claret and amber. The Gaffer rang the changes after the previous Sunday’s second half capitulation to NLS but it made little difference as despite taking an early lead the away side were just not at the races and seemed easily intimidated by a vocal home side whose challenges were often robust but mostly fair. Playing with the wind saw two soft goals given up late on in the first half and by the time Daz’s quality finish from Stevo’s incisive touch delivered his second to top and tail the scoring the sorry script had already been well and truly written. The belief appears to have gone on holiday, let’s hope it returns in time to herald a change in fortune against the same opponents this Sunday at Elms Park.
Team: Broughton, Timpson, Doorly, Collinson, Whittaker, Cowlard (Ravenscroft), Remzi (Jones), Greenwood, Connor, Heithus, Biernat (Richmond)
Scorer: Heithus x 2
''Fanzines Utd (3) 5 v [[West Bridgford Albion]] (1) 3''
EMPAL Div One
11 Dec 2006
A week is a long time in football. Just seven days after suffering their biggest defeat for many a season the Fanzines bandwagon rode back into Elms Park with revenge high on the agenda. Certainly The Gaffer was in no mood for a repeat, delivering a team talk full of passion, aggression and a hint of menace, just the qualities he was looking for his charges to show once they took to the pitch of battle. The news that Adam had failed to recover from a thigh injury was tempered somewhat by Whitts declaring himself fit, although these things are all relative. Ravo retuned to the back four and Dan came in for Jonsy, otherwise the same players had chance to redeem themselves for the previous weeks horror show. And just like the previous week it didn’t take them long to open the scoring, Twiggy’s wonderfully flighted corner within the opening two minutes getting a touch off Daz and the defender at the near post on its way into the back of the net.
When Albion then equalised with a well-worked goal those on the touchline exchanged a nervous glance – had The Gaffer’s call to arms been in vain? The answer was an emphatic “No”. The hard working Dazzler charged down a goal kick and then slid an inch perfect pass across goal for the waiting Stevo to emphatically end his mini goal drought with a left foot finish into the bottom corner. Relief and elation in equal measure. And then, Twiggy with a peach of a goal, a wonderful first touch from Dave’s through ball and a stride on before picking his spot in the top corner from just inside the box. Stevo then twice within a whisker of adding to the lead and Dan too before the whistle brought a 3-1 lead and half a smile to The Gaffer’s face. Much work still to do, however, up the slope and against the wind. The job was seemingly made much easier when Stevo bagged his second in typical style and we all unfurrowed our brows and started to ‘look forward’ to playing Santa at a children’s Christmas party – or was that just me?! Unfortunately, the referee then decide to add a bit of festive cheer of his own and took pity on the poor unfortunates of WBA by gifting them two goals inside four minutes – the handball that was, quickly followed by one that certainly wasn’t (deliberate) both going in the away sides favour and all of a sudden, ladies and gentlemen, we have a game on our hands.
All were grateful, therefore, that it was at this precise time that the belief decided to return. Having taken the last two Sundays off to do its Christmas shopping, it came back just in time to help withstand a barrage from the visitors in which the back four were resolute and Kip was outstanding, one save in particular to his left from almost point bank range to deflect the ball over the bar had the WB striker collapsing to the floor in disbelief after he’d already turned away to celebrate. Simply stunning work from the glovesman. And all the time at the other end the constant threat of Daz and the rejuvenated Stevo…a lunging, desperate challenge, a hat-trick denied but the referee left with an easy decision. Penalty. Four minutes to go and real pressure on the kicker. And when the ball was blown off its spot forcing a halt mid run-up we all wondered whether Dave would hold his nerve. We needn’t have worried. As spot kicks go it was a beauty, keeper one way, ball high into the net the other. Plenty of added time but the visitors were now a spent force. Ole’s for G11 as he made a cameo return after a whole year on the sidelines before the final whistle brought roars of relief and celebration. The Gaffer a happy man once again, surely the seal of approval for any performance.
Team: Broughton, Timpson, Doorly, Ravenscroft, Whittaker, Cowlard (Gilbert), Remzi (Jones), Greenwood, Heithus, Connor (Biernat), Brown
Scorers: Connor x 2, Heithus, Remzi, Greenwood (pen)
''[[West End]] (1) 2 v Fanzines United (1) 2''
EMPAL Div One
17 December 2006
For those seeking to quantifiably measure the progress of this club, the final game of the calendar year provided the perfect opportunity to assess and reflect upon the strides that have been made in the past twelve months. Last Christmas, Fanzines were embroiled in an ultimately successful Division 2 battle for promotion, whilst today’s opponents, West End, were striding towards an unrivalled dominance in the top division. 2006, however, has been a year where the experience, talent and potential of the Clarets has flourished to the extent that, with one victory over last season’s champions already under the belt, here a second win was nearly snatched from the gawping jaws of defeat.
What made this performance so much more impressive was that it was accomplished on a soggy sump of a pitch, yet the attitude, commitment and discipline in the side came to the fore, to produce one of the finest team performances in recent memory. Ultimately, though they came from behind to snatch a point, most of the Fanzines side will still be wondering how victory eluded them.
The tone was set the moment that Dave slid into a muddy challenge on the edge of the Fanzines box, poking the ball forward to Dan who released Stevo down the left flank and his brilliantly flighted cross was nodded into the far corner by the supporting Twiggy for a well deserved lead. It was certainly the away side who were dealing with the conditions underfoot more successfully, and playing the better football, but the champions showed their mettle in a powerful spell at the end of the first half, first forcing a fantastic save from Kip and then scoring from a corner kick which eluded the heads of the defenders and was powered into the net for a sobering equaliser.
And though the industry and effort rarely dipped, it was West End who took the lead in the second half as Ravo’s clearing header fell straight to the oncoming striker who steered the ball calmly into the unguarded net. Somehow the game was slipping away. With the strength sapping conditions forcing the Gaffer to ring the changes, Fanzines maintained their ability to create and spurn chances in front of goal. Whitts in particular will feel he should have scored when clear through, but spent so long decided which corner to hit and which goal celebration to use that the ball never actually left his feet before the saving challenge arrived.
Then, in the final minutes, a succession of corners intensified the pressure, until finally a clearance fell to Steve, the man who has saved the day so often in the past few months, and his half-volley crowned a remarkable year as it flew through the crowded box to make it 2-2.
Yet it could have been even more. With the final move of the match, Jonesy’s cultured hoof downfield found G11, back from injury and back on the pitch, in space and unopposed, with keeper and defender retreating, and with time to pick his spot and win the game. It could, should, have been a glorious return. One dummy. Two dummies. The keeper was on his backside, without a clue. Three dummies. A collective breath was held. The unerring left foot drove through the ball which sped…straight into the back of the cowering defender, quaking on the line, and away, as the whistle blew and an astonishing game ended with both sides feeling both relieved and disappointed and with Fanzines hoping that the next twelve months would be as successful and enjoyable as 2006 has proved to have been .
Team: Broughton, Timpson, Doorly, Collinson (Gilbert), Ravenscroft, Whittaker, Remzi (Jones), Greenwood, Connor, Heithus, Brown (Biernat)
Subs Not Used: I can’t remember..
Scorers: Remzi, Connor
''Fanzines United (0) 1 v [[Brinsthorpe Rangers]] (2) 3''
EMPAL Division One
7th January 2007
There are things that I remember.
I remember burning my thumb on the car lighter when we were moving house from Oswaldtwistle to Blackburn when I was four years old. I remember dropping a bowling ball on my foot when I was seven and having to go to school with one slipper and one shoe. I remember seeing a kid at primary school running straight through a plate glass window, and another kid breaking his leg right in front of me when we were playing football with a tennis ball in the playground. I remember playing kiss-catch in that same playground and fixing it so that I was always caught and kissed by Andrea Cooper. I remember playing football for St Gabriel’s Primary School at a dilapidated Ewood Park and winning the Blackburn & Darwen District Littlewoods Cup Final, and then going to the Crown Paint factory in Blackburn to receive the trophy from Liverpool’s Alan Kennedy. I remember playing Subbuteo on the living room carpet on a Saturday evening whilst the results came in on Grandstand. I remember International Soccer on the C64, Sensible Soccer and Kick Off 2 on the Amiga, and Actua Soccer on the Playstation. I remember wanting to be Marco van Basten and thinking that I would never see anyone play the game of football as perfectly as Diego Maradona. I remember moving to Nottingham and having my northern accent ridiculed out of me. I remember Nigel Clough always seeming to score winners against Man Utd. I remember playing five-a-side with the Gaffer, Jim Cooke and the Selectadisc crew when I was studying for GCSEs, learning how the game should be played and being groomed for better things. I remember playing at Gresham on a spectacularly windy day against a motley bunch in retro Inter Milan shirts with a team name of Fanzines United, and never thinking that one day I would almost be accepted in their number.
Yes, there are definitely some things that I remember.
I don’t, however, remember very much about this game against Brinsthorpe. A few things have happened since and, to be honest, it even felt like a bit of a non-event at the time. I remember that I’d just had my eyes lasered and being concerned that the flaps over my irises would come loose whenever I (rarely) headed the ball. I remember feeling like we were always in control of the game and that we were always going to win, even when we went two-nil down during a spectacularly lacklustre start, but that it would only be a matter of time before we pulled ourselves together and galloped to victory. I remember a prolonged bout of possession in the second-half resulting in a tap-in for Stephen which felt like it would herald the great come back, but which never actually materialised. And I remember the Brinsthorpe forward being clipped by Ravo in the area to concede the penalty that consigned us to a disappointing defeat that was to be the start of an indifferent second half of the season.
I can’t remember everything. And I apologise to you for that. But I’m sure we can all learn to live with it.
Team:
Wood, Timpson, Doorly,Collinson, Ravenscroft, Whittaker, Remzi (Biernat), Greenwood, Connor, Heithus, Brown (Gilbert)
Goal: Connor
''Fanzines United 3 [[White Swan]] 2''
EMPAL Div One
14th January 2007
A sunny Sunday morning gave lie to a heavy, unforgiving playing surface as Fanzines attempted to secure First Division status for themselves while plunging their opponents even further into relegation trouble. An odd state of affairs given that the month of January is some way from completion but such is the way of things in the ultra-competitive top flight of EMPAL this season.
White Swan took to the field with comments aplenty regarding the size of the pitch - “it’s massive” - but with a team bearing scant resemblance to the one that had capitulated to Dan’s firepower earlier in the season. For the home side, Woody stepped in for the absent Kip while, with Ravo attending to domestic duties and Dave somewhere in Cornwall, Lyndon and Rich resumed their midfield partnership leaving Whitts only too happy to fill the vacant centre-back position.
After a tentative opening it was a piece of individual brilliance from Stevo which led to the game’s first goal, taking on Daz’s neat pass and flicking it past the last defender before placing to the keeper’s right with nonchalent ease. And that’s how it stayed until half time, though not without cause for concern as Woody was twice called upon to make outstanding saves.
All the talk at the break was of upping the work rate off the ball and closing down White Swan’s No.5 who was running the show for them in a ‘libero’ role. Having identified said ‘gentleman’ as the one who tried to decapitate G11 when we played them in the cup a few years back, their was some irony then when a clash of heads with Rich ten minutes after the restart led to nasty cuts for both. Rich’s on the top of his head meant he soldiered on after treatment but for the White Swan hard man the game was over. A deep wound above the eye refused to stop bleeding and when his legs gave way under him it was Sunday lunchtime in A&E rather than a pint down the pub.
If the home side thought things would get easier, however, they were wrong. The loss galvanised the away side and they soon levelled after indecision at the far post left one too many unmarked in front of goal. Game on. And how the claret and amber responded. The flowing football which had been a highlight of the previous game against Brinsthorpe was rediscovered and, with White swan’s keeper not being a patch on Rangers’ outstanding custodian, the goals followed. First Whitts stealing in at the near post to steer home a cross from Dan, then Twiggy causing mayhem down the right before Jovial Joe Doorly gleefully rammed home his first of the season. Chances for Daz, Dan, Twiggy and Stevo then followed before the visitors got an unexpected lifeline six minutes for the end with a thirty yard fluke. The game should have been well out of reach by then but instead the touchline faithful were left to endure a tense finale which almost boiled over after G11’s mistimed slide left their number 6 taking a distinct dislike to the taste of his own medicine.
So, a hard earned victory but, with West End defeating Notts Athletic, one which means we are already able to look forward to First Division football again next season. Now for the Cup!
Team: Wood, Timpson, Doorly, Whittaker, Collinson, Cowlard (Jones), Remzi, Shaw (Lowe S), Heithus, Connor, Brown (Gilbert).
Scorers: Connor, Whittaker, Doorly
''[[Trent All Stars]] 1 v Fanzines United 4''
EMPAL Cup
28th January 2007
[img[Gaffer leads the warm-up|http://photos-657.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v191/49/40/675480657/n675480657_620696_3650.jpg]]
A possible banana skin with a last 16 visit to the runaway leaders of Division Four was avoided thanks to a thoroughly professional performance.
Defensively resolute in the face of the expected early onslaught, the away side slowly but surely took control with some assured pass and move football and it was no surprise when Joe’s neat flick header at the near post from Stevo’s corner brought the game’s first goal. Kip then kept the scores level with a save that had the cameras clicking and the claret and amber went in at the whistle just about deserving their lead.
The Gaffer’s half-time team talk warned of more probing from lively opponents but even he couldn’t have foreseen the equaliser, arriving as it did direct from a corner in at the far post four minutes after the interval.
A right royal battle looked to be on the cards but quality in front of goal proved the difference as set pieces continued to be the order of the day. Stevo and Whitts both found themselves in the right place to benefit from Adam’s ability to head a football back across goal and a gaping net six yards away was not to be missed. 3-1, which just left the goal of the game to complete the scoring. Neat interplay down the right, Jimbo’s ball sent Stevo clear and no surprises when his composed lob over the keeper ended the contest fifteen minutes early.
So, a place in the quarter-finals for the first time in ten years but a nod of acknowledgement to Trent All Stars who looked a sure bet for promotion come the season’s end and are unquestionably a quality addition to EMPAL.
Team: Broughton, Timpson, Doorly, Collinson, Whittaker, Cowlard, Remzi (Jones), Shaw, Connor (Biernat), Heithus (Richmond),Gilbert.
Scorers: Connor x 2, Doorly, Whittaker
''[[Nottingham Law School]] 3 v Fanzines United 0''
EMPAL Div One
4th February 2007
A cold and (according to Joe and Stevo at least) frozen Sunday morning brought doubt as to whether the fixture would go ahead. So much doubt, in fact, that some had apparently already made their minds up leaving Andy with just twelve bodies from which to choose for his first game back in (temporary) charge. The Gaffer, he was sure, would be chuntering into his third bbqd shark fin somewhere on a beach in NZ, though for the sake of international relations let’s hope he’s left his Speedos at home!
Anyway, I digress. A pitch inspection brought the thumbs up from all parties, not that Eric the ref was ever going to say anything but “Play the game” - in a vocoder stylee - with his match fee on the line. Bad news for those who fancied heading back home to look out for TBW on coverage of NZ v Aus at The Gabba but good news for those who were looking forward to doing the double over Law School and maintaining our championship challenge.
Wary of how a second half onslaught had brought County Cup defeat on our last visit to Trent Poly and power crazy to the point of delirium, Andy decided upon a return to his much loved 4-5-1 formation as a way to ‘stay in the game’ before having in mind an equally devilish idea to revert to 4-4-2 with 15 minutes to go in an effort to win the thing. But you can think just a wee bit too much at Sunday morning football level…
Resolute defensive play from front to back, including a couple of top drawer saves from Kip and a header off the line from Twiggy, brought the first half of the masterplan to within five minutes of giving assistant managers a good name. Unfortunately, just as excitement was mounting on the touchline and Clive was wondering where his next opportunity for an outburst was going to come from, Law School decided to go for broke and Ginger Bloke – declared fit enough only for a place on the bench - was seen donning shin pads and boots.
With both sides aware that three points were essential in maintaining a meaningful chance of league silverware it meant there was every chance that the final twenty minuets would provide a goal and so it did - three of them. Unfortunately all in our net and all of them heavily involving aforementioned Mr Ginger Bloke who, in all three games against NLS this season, has been their stand-out performer.
There was much disappointment to come away from nothing after performing with much distinction and no lack of effort for the opening seventy minutes but the opinion of this scribe is that Law School may well win the league and if they do then we can look back on the fact that we have beaten them once and given them a real battle for most of another. Another positive is that three seasons ago a team of their all round quality - no superstars, just eleven plus players of a high standard – would have creamed us. Not now. And from that we should all take some comfort. None of us would deny there is still work to be done, but progress is undeniably being made.
Team: Broughton, Timpson, Doorly, Collinson, Whittaker, Cowlard (Richmond), Remzi, Shaw, Connor, Jones, Brown
''Fanzines United 0 [[Nottingham Law School]] 1''
EMPAL Cup
11th March 2007
NLS returned to Elms park for our fourth meeting of the season, the Empal Cup quarter final.
No game for weeks and with Joe,Lyndon and Duncan all dropping out on the morning of the game and with the absence of Twig early signs were not good. Gaffer had returned from his jollies to a headache, what team to play and what formation to use. The earlier was made easy by the fact we only had 12 players and G11 had announced that he wasn't fit enough to start.
Gaffer left it as late as possible before deciding to ditch his usual 4-4-2 and revert to a 5-3-2. Johnsey playing left back, Fred coming in for a rare start as a 3rd centre half and with a central midfield trio of Shawy,Brown and Jones.
Bite was needed early on, it was a big game but Fanzines seemed a little flat, the communication was good but where was the cutting edge ? Chances were few and far between and NLS' top man was being marshalled well by the defence, the midfield trio working hard but not creating enough for Daz and Steve. The sucker punch came mid way through the first half, a ball over the top a mistake from Fred and the jesus lookalike stole the ball, unleashed a shot that kip got his hand to but it had enough to roll over the line. Fanzines' best chance of the half came from the feet of Brown who drilled a 25 yarder only for the keeper to put it over the bar, corners came and went but not capitalised on.
NLS were there for the taking cut the long ball out and find feet was the key and fanzines responded. A good move down the left forced a corner, Browns cross was heading for the head of Whitts for an easy finish only for the keeper to pluck the ball out of nowhere, then Daz muscled two defenders off the ball only to shoot over the bar. Fred injured his back and had to go off G11 came on and Fanzines went back to 4-4-2 with G11 moving to right wing . Jonsy and Dan were proving a real handful working well together down the left, but the end product would not come, the ball was being pumped into the box, flicked on but it always seemed to land at the grateful NLS defenders feet. The lads were getting frustrated, Dan shot just wide and Steve ran through 3 defenders again shooting wide. NLS had a goal disallowed from their only real chance of the half. An onslaught on NLS' goal came at the end but the ball wouldnt go in and Fanzines went out.
Did us having no game for the last five weeks play a part? Not having a full squad at our disposal to blame? I dont think so, NLS are a good side and if anybody is to win it I for one hope its them!
Broughton, Biernat, Lowe S (Gilbert), Whittaker, Collinson, Timpson, Brown, Shaw, Jones, Heithus, Connor
''[[Burton Joyce A]] 3 v Fanzines United 0''
EMPAL Div One
18th March 2007
A sunny Sunday morning allowed the amber and clarets the luxury of playing a second consecutive fixture, this time returning to league action against division 1's top side, Burton Joyce.
The return of Cowlard and Doorley left 'The Gaffer' spoilt for choice with a squad of 15. His decision to keep the 5-3-2 formation, was met with a mixed response, but after the relative success against freescoring NLS he was keen to continue the stabilisation at the back against the league leaders.
The March sunshine was replaced before kick off by a strong cross wind, and increasingly darkening clouds. On the field, the impressive Biernat retained his left back spot, with Joes inclusion at the expense of Fred being the only change from the previous weeks cup exit.
A typically lacklustre start from Fanzines allowed BJ the early dominance; the front pair causing Fanzines defence early difficulties with enthusiastic running, and the midfield trio of Brown, Shaw and Jones were forced into defensive duties. A wonderfully worked, if over exubarent, opportunity from Burton's older front man was well saved by Kip before the breakthrough was made. Hesitancy at the back when a clearance was the obvious choice, punished so emphatically the previous week by the Law school, was again capatilised upon and Fanzines found themselves a goal behind inside a quarter of an hour. But if the first goal was down to individual error, the second was a demonstration as to why BJ have been top for most of the season; a moment of skill on the touchline, an inch perfect cross that was met by an equally inch perfect header. Delight from the (uniformed) tracksuited BJ staff, despair and disgust from the Fanzines lot.
Despite the continual dominance from the home side, Kip was only forced into a one more save before the break, tipping over from the older of the front pair, whilst at the other end, Steve and Daz were limited to shots from distance as they were required to drop deeper to support the midfield.
Gaffers justified half time tirade appeared to have exactly the right affect; the second half started with a new belief; heads were up and passes were positive, tackles were made (and won) and gaps started to appear. As the heavens finally opened with a wintery concoction of hail, sleet and snow, the away side seemed to adapt better, switching to a more familiar system as Adam joined the midfield. Using the wind, Fanzines started to create opportunities, and the introduction of first G11 (for Jonsy), then Duncan for Rich and finally Fred for Joe, gave more energy as the pitch became heavier.
As a lifeline was sought by Fanzines, gaps started to appear in their defence, and on three occasions the BJ front line were forced to shoot wide, as they hoped to wrap up the points. Steve and Daz continued to work hard; Connor's near post effort was smuggled behind, while the resulting corner eventually tested their defensive resolve.
As the clock ticked, and Fanzines pressed, chances slowly eked away. G11 had two wonderful headed opportunities; the first from Dans superb ball was nodded over whilst the other was just a fraction too high for the diminutive striker.
The final blow was delivered with minutes remaining; a respite in the weather allowed Burton Joyce to surge forward, and the opportunity fell to not one, not two but three front men, before the killer goal was stroked home.
A three nil defeat. Disappointment not so much with the result, but the manner in which we had started the game, affording them a two goal head start. In a stop/start 2007, we can make excuses a plenty. The Gaffer was vindicated for his half time harshness, and must be disappointed it took that display of emotion to get the team started. Positives?? Slow starts have previously been the achilles heel of the team, but this season has seen this less frequently. However, it is a shame we returned to old habits in this fixture.
The work rate continues to impress; from the back line all the way up to the front pair. And, as has been said before, we must remember how far we have come. A season where defeats have been more down to trepidation about the opposition than being outplayed. Let's hope we can finish the season in the manner we know we can perform, and await next season knowing that we should not fear any team in the league
Team: Broughton, Biernat (Gilbert), Collinson, Whittaker, Timpson, Doorly (Lowe S), Brown, Shaw (Richmond), Jones, Heithus, Connor
''Fanzines United 5 v [[Freeman & Mitchell]] 2''
EMPAL Div One
25th March 2007
Part I: Kip
Sunday saw Fanzines penultimate game in what can only be regarded as a successful season in [[EMPAL's|EMPAL]] top flight.
The opposition, Freeman and Mitchell, who had themselves put together a recent string of impressive results, where one of a clutch of teams hoping to conclude the campaign with a top half finish, so it was vital that the claret and ambers shrug off the previous weeks disappointment, and produce a performance that justified their lofty position.
Once again, Ravo, Cowlard and Smith were unavailable, whilst Joe and G11s mysterious absence left The Gaffer with another selection headache. His decision to revert to a more familiar 4-4-2 was met with a chorus of approval, as was his surprise choice to name Kip as captain.
Opting to attack up the notorious Elms Park hill, Fanzines started brightly; the youthful central partnership of Shaw and Whittaker dominant early on, whilst Biernat and Brown on the left and Timpson and Jones on the right worked well, creating some much needed width in the March sunshine.
With early chances at a premium, it took an individual piece of magic from the right foot of Heithus to break the deadlock; picking the ball up fully 30 yards from goal, he dug out a shot that flew into the top left hand corner. Fanzines first goal in three was well worth the wait.
With their noses in front, and any away-team threats being snubbed out by Collinson and Lowe, Fanzines were able to relax and play some of their most attacking football of the year. Crosses from both flanks caused unrest, and from Timpson's teasing outswinger, Shaw was able to rise, Salmon like, to challenge the Freeman ‘keeper; the spill enabling Heithus to stoop bravely to head into the unguarded net. 2-0, and Fanzines in control.
But, as all followers of Fanzines United F.C are only to aware, nothing is ever that easy. A proverbial’ hot knife through butter’ pass allowed an unchallenged Freeman forward the chance to swoop, reducing the deficit. The setback proved to be more than a minor one, as a probing pass minutes later allowed a shot to find its way, through a series of fortunate ricochets, to an unmarked Freeman-ite; perfectly dispatched for 2-2.
However, the response was anything but Fanzines-like. Playing up the slope, into the wind, the heads were up. Encouragement came from the sidelines.. A well worked move resulted in a loose ball that fell to Brown; his seemingly unstoppable drive was pushed onto the bar- credit not only to the F&M number 1, but to Adam, who pre-match, had ensured the goal posts were anchored securely at the ‘top-end’.
The positive reply to the surrendering of a two goal lead was boosted by the encouraging sight of a face from the past; the former manager, who had managed to temporarily swap domestic hell for footballing heaven…
Part II: Andy
I arrived with half an hour gone and the score at 2-2 so cannot comment on what had gone before (sorry Dazzler!). But from the moment I set foot on Elms Park there was only one winner as far as this pair of eyes (admittedly not the best, but good enough on this occasion) was concerned.
Fast, fluid football of the highest order was a joy to behold and meant all thoughts of a tearsome teething son were – for an hour or so at least - left behind in West Bridgford.
Seemingly defying the laws of gravity, the ball continually rolled uphill as the claret and amber took the game to the visitors and just reward was finally gained when a ball out to Dan on the left was followed by a beating of the full back before looking up and pulling back to Stevo, arriving twelve yards out to finish sublimely first time for his first goal in four games. It’s like he’d never been away.
Buoyed by a half-time team talk of “Carry on the good work and the game’s yours for the taking” by The Gaffer, the home side did just what TBW ordered and produced one of the best halves of football seen this season. It was one-sided in the extreme but as chance after chance went begging the nagging thought remained that if Freeman’s were to hit us on the break and equalise, things could go seriously pear-shaped.
Which is why having a goalkeeper of (S)Kip’s quality should never be underestimated. A spectator for much of the half, he made a stunning reaction save to turn the ball over at the near post 15 minutes from time to avoid just such a scenario. It was just the fillip/kick in the backside the team needed, ably aided by a double substitution. First Twiggy, on for Dan, ran on to a searching through ball from Whitts to finish sublimely on the half volley over the advancing keeper. Then Dunc, replacement for Jonesy, rounded off a move full of one-touch, give-and-go football to slide in from six yards.
The game was safe and not before time, leaving the final few minutes to be played out with the dream of a highest ever EMPAL finish still very much intact.
Team: Broughton, Timpson, Biernat, Lowe S, Collinson, Whittaker, Jones (Richmond), Shaw, Connor, Heithus, Brown (Remzi).
Scorers: Heithus x 2, Connor, Remzi, Richmond.
''Fanzines United 0 v [[Notts Athletic]] 2''
EMPAL Div One
15th April 2007
If you are looking for a side to provide a limp, stuttering, apologetic conclusion to a season of sporadic illumination, then you’ve come to the right place. Over recent years, Fanzines have become renowned for losing the last fixture on the list, with final game defeats resulting in the missing out on promotion two years ago and the failure to clinch the Division Two title last year. This year there was less at stake, with a comfortable top-half finish already secured, but this game clearly illustrated that the difference between all the sides in the league is marginal and that the Clarets’ strength is in their discipline, organisation and commitment. When that is below par, as today, then we are a fraction of the force we could be.
Against a team that were believed to be already relegated and against whom Fanzines had produced one of their most solid performances earlier in the season to grind out a crucial two-nil victory, the home side were too relaxed and too complacent at the start, and never really recovered. Jimbo’s dirty-stop-out habits resurfaced and his tardiness forced the Gaffer to risk Dave’s creaking knees and feet at right-back, a move that proved disastrous as the baptism of a first game in four months proved too much for the returned wanderer. Swamped down the left-flank, it was his missed clearance that allowed Notts to take the lead, a hooked shot fizzing past the furious, helpless Kip.
Frustratingly, Fanzines failed to clear their heads or their lines, and spent the majority of the first period trapped in their own half attempting to repel the waves of attacks that were careering down the Elms Park slope. Time and again possession was given away and the rare chances to produce attacking crosses or telling final balls were squandered. Changes were made in the second half in an attempt to shake the lethargy from the side, but to no avail. A second Notts Athletic goal sealed the defeat, which ultimately meant that Fanzines finished their first season back in EMPAL Division One in a formidable fourth place rather than a dizzying third.
Amidst the disappointments of certain games and performances, it should be noted that this is by far the highest final league position in the club’s history and a testament to all those who have contributed so much throughout the season. Whilst individual players have shone at different times, all in the squad have contributed to what has been a very successful, if challenging, league campaign. Particular thanks to The Gaffer and Andy for running the show, G11 for the paperwork and Sharon for making the kit smell nice, and also to those players who have chosen to end their association with the club. You will all be missed, and will always be welcome at training. Who knows, you may fancy a run out in the Claret & Amber again one day?
Team:
Broughton, Greenwood (Timpson), Doorly, S Lowe, Collinson, Whittaker, Jones, Shaw, Heithus, Connor, Brown
''@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;[[Season 2007-08|2007-08]] EMPAL Division 1@@''
| !Date | !Competition | !Opposition | !Score | !Result | !H/A | !Venue | !Scorers |
| 02/09/07 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Total Reclaims Demolition]] | 2-0 | W | H | [[Elms Park]] |Buxton, Heithus |
| 09/09/07 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Radcliffe Olympic A]] | 2-1 | W | A | Radcliffe-on-Trent |Gilbert, Collinson |
| 16/09/07 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Burton Joyce A]] | 1-0 | W | H | [[Elms Park]] |Brown G |
| 23/09/07 | [[County Cup]] | Local Inn | 4-5 | L | H | [[Elms Park]] |Heithus 2, Greenwood, Brown G |
| 30/09/07 | EMPAL Div1 | [[West End]] | 2-2 | D | A | Nuthall |Heithus 2 |
| 21/10/07 | EMPAL Div1 | [[West End]] | 0-1 | L | H | [[Elms Park]] | |
| 04/11/07 | [[EMPAL Cup]] | [[Notts Athletic]] | 4-2 | W | A | [[Alford Road]] |Brown G, Greenwood, Heithus 2 |
| 11/11/07 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Nottingham Law School]] | 3-1 | W | A | [[Clifton Campus]] |Heithus 2, Brown G |
| 18/11/07 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Nottingham Medics A|Nottingham Medics]] | 2-1 | W | H | [[Elms Park]] |Remzi 2 |
| 25/11/07 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Notts Athletic]] | 3-0 | W | A | [[Alford Road]] |Timpson, Collinson 2 |
| 02/12/07 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Brinsthorpe Rangers]] | 1-1 | D | A | [[Hall Park]] |Remzi |
| 09/12/07 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Total Reclaims Demolition]] | 2-1 | W | A | [[Victoria Embankment]] |Collinson, Greenwood |
| 16/12/07 | EMPAL Div1 | [[West Bridgford Albion]] | 2-2 | D | H | [[Elms Park]] |Whittaker, Todino |
| 06/01/08 | EMPAL Div1 | [[West Bridgford Albion]] | 5-1 | W | A | [[Farnborough Road]] |Whittaker, Brown G, o.g., Greenwood, Connor |
| 03/02/08 | [[EMPAL Cup]] | [[Punjab Colts]] | 1-0 | W | A | [[Harvey Haddon]] |Connor |
| 10/02/08 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Highfield Park Rangers]] | 5-2 | W | A | [[Victoria Embankment]] |Brown G 3, Remzi 2 |
| 24/02/08 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Freeman & Mitchell]] | D | 0-0 | H | [[Elms Park]] | |
| 02/03/08 | [[EMPAL Cup]] | [[GM Olympico|Olympico]] | L | 0-1 | H | [[Elms Park]] | |
| 09/03/08 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Highfield Park Rangers]] | W | 1-0 | H | [[Elms Park]] |Gilbert |
| 16/03/08 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Burton Joyce A]] | L | 3-5 | A | [[The Poplars]] |Brown, Jones, Timpson |
| 30/03/08 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Radcliffe Olympic A]] | W | 4-0 | H | [[Elms Park]] |Brown, Gilbert 2, Doorly |
| 10/04/08 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Nottingham Law School]] | L | 0-3 | H | [[Elms Park]] | |
| 13/04/08 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Notts Athletic]] | W | 3-0 | H | [[Elms Park]] |Brown, Gordon 2 |
| 16/04/08 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Nottingham Medics A|Nottingham Medics]] | W | 2-0 | A | [[Forest]] |Gordon, Collinson |
| 20/04/08 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Brinsthorpe Rangers]] | W | 3-0 | H | [[Elms Park]] |Whittaker, Connor, Collinson |
| 27/04/08 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Freeman & Mitchell]] | L | 1-3 | H | [[Elms Park]] |Connor |
''@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;Stats 2007/08@@''
Final League Position : Second
Highest League Poisition : First
Lowest League Position : Third
Biggest Win : 5-1 v West Bridgford Albion, EMPAL Div One, 6 Jan 2008
Biggest Defeat : 0-3 v Nottingham Law School, EMPAL Div One, 10 Apr 2008
Highest Scoring Game : 4-5 v Local Inn, County Cup, 23 Sep 2007
Most Goals Scored in a Game - Team : Five (5-1 v West Bridgford Albion & 5-2 v Highfield Park Rangers)
Most Goals Scored in a Game - Player : Three (Gareth Brown v Highfield Park Rangers, 10 Feb 2008)
Most Goals Conceded in a Game : Five (4-5 v Local Inn & 3-5 v Burton Joyce A)
Total Goals Scored - Season : 56
Total Goals Scored - League : 47
Total Goals Conceded - Season : 32
Total Goals Conceded - League : 24
Total Clean Sheets - Season : Ten
Total Clean Sheets - League : Nine
Most Consecutive Games Without Defeat - Season : Eleven (11 Nov 2007 - 9 March 2008)
Most Consecutive Games Without Defeat - League : Ten (11 Nov 2007 - 9 March 2008)
Most Consecutive Games Won - Season : Four (4 Nov 2007 - 25 Nov 2007)
Most Consecutive Games Lost - Season : None
Most Consecutive Games Without a Win - Season : Three (23 sep 2007 - 21 Oct 2007)
Most Consecutive Games Without a Win - League : Two (30 Sep 2007 - 21 Oct 2007)
''@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;Top Goalscorer : Gareth Brown - 12@@''
''@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;Total Appearances : Season@@''
Congratulations to Rich Shaw who was on the pitch for every minute of every game.
Appearances as substitute in brackets
26 - Richard Shaw 26 (0)
24 - Chris Whittaker 23 (1)
24 - Neil Remzi 23 (1)
24 - Dave Greenwood 21 (3)
23 - Gareth Brown 19 (4)
21 - Adam Collinson 20 (1)
21 - James Timpson 19 (2)
21 - Robertino Todino 19 (2)
20 - Graham Gilbert 18 (2)
19 - Adrian Jones 15 (4)
18 - Kip Broughton 18 (0)
18 - Darren Heithus 17 (1)
16 - Dan Brown 13 (3)
14 - Joe Doorly 12 (2)
13 - Haseley Gordon 3 (10)
10 - Stephen Connor 8 (2)
10 - Mark Buxton 7 (3)
8 - John Wood 7 (1)
7 - Anthony Morris 2 (5)
5 - Paul Hallam 1 (4)
1 - Dave Cawthorn 1 (0)
1 - Steve Carmody 0 (1)
''@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;Total Appearances : League@@''
The top fourteen players are eligible to receive a league runners-up medal
Appearances as substitute in brackets
22 - Richard Shaw 22 (0)
21 - Neil Remzi 20 (1)
20 - Chris Whittaker 19 (1)
20 - Dave Greenwood 17 (3)
19 - Adam Collinson 19 (0)
19 - Gareth Brown 15 (4)
18 - James Timpson 16 (2)
17 - Robertino Todino 16 (1)
17 - Graham Gilbert 15 (2)
17 - Adrian Jones 14 (3)
15 - Kip Broughton 13 (0)
14 - Darren Heithus 13 (1)
14 - Dan Brown 12 (2)
12 - Joe Doorly 11 (1)
10 - Haseley Gordon 3 (7)
9 - Stephen Connor 7 (2)
9 - Mark Buxton 7 (2)
7 - John Wood 6 (1)
5 - Anthony Morris 1 (4)
4 - Paul Hallam 0 (4)
1 - Dave Cawthorn 1 (0)
1 - Steve Carmody 0 (1)
''@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;Total Goals : Season@@''
12 - Gareth Brown
8 - Darren Heithus
6 - Adam Collinson
5 - Neil Remzi
4 - Dave Greenwood
4 - Stephen Connor
3 - Chris Whittaker
3 - Graham Gilbert
3 - Haseley Gordon
2 - James Timpson
1 - Robertino Todino
1 - Adrian Jones
1 - Joe Doorly
1 - Mark Buxton
''@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;Total Goals : League@@''
10 - Gareth Brown
6 - Adam Collinson
5 - Neil Remzi
4 - Darren Heithus
3 - Stephen Connor
3 - Chris Whittaker
3 - Graham Gilbert
3 - Haseley Gordon
2 - Dave Greenwood
2 - James Timpson
1 - Robertino Todino
1 - Adrian Jones
1 - Joe Doorly
1 - Mark Buxton
''@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;Total Assists : Season@@''
10 - Neil Remzi
8 - Darren Heithus
6 - Dave Greenwood
5 - Gareth Brown
3 - Adrian Jones
3 - Joe Doorly
3 - Adam Collinson
3 - Robertino Todino
2 - Chris Whittaker
2 - Graham Gilbert
2 - Stephen Connor
1 - James Timpson
1 - Haseley Gordon
1 - Mark Buxton
1 - Antony Morris
''@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;Fantasy Football Points : Season@@''
Congratulations to Collinson, Greenwood, Broughton, Shaw, Timpson, Jones & Wood, who all achieved their best ever points tally this season.
94 - Collinson
76 - Remzi
71 - Greenwood
68 - Whittaker
59 - Broughton
58 - Shaw
57 -Brown G
54 - Heithus
54 - Todino
51 - Doorly
46 - Timpson
45 - Gilbert
42 - Jones
29 - Brown D
27 - Connor
21 - Wood
18 - Buxton
18 - Gordon
11 - Morris
8 - Hallam
1 - Carmody
''@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;Seasonal Highlights 2007/08@@''
or
How the league was nearly won
All games, all seasons, are more than just the sum of their moments, but for the purposes of filling time until next season let's just pretend that they're not. More than ever this year, it's been clear that there's a fine line between success and failure. Sometimes it's pure luck that dictates the result. Often it's endeavour. Occasionally there are moments of real quality. Here are ten highlights from the 2007/08 season. Which was your favourite?
-----------
Daz gets the ball rolling ( Fanzines 2 TRD 2)
For a side almost expecting to be relegated come the end of the season, Fanzines didn't half get off to a good start. Against the reigning Division Two champs, the lead had already been established courtesy of Mark's debut goal before Daz set the seal on the performance by slamming Dave's pinpoint cross back across the keeper to take the points and the plaudits. As a way of gaining a sense of perspective about the team's prospects, it proved to be highly effective.
Hallam & Woody save the day ( Radcliffe Olympic A 1 Fanzines 2)
An early season game against the (pre-collapse) Radcliffe Olympic was always going to be a challenge, but with a rock hard pitch and a fierce sun it proved to be one of the sternest tests of the year. Having finally taken a two goal lead after wasting a host of chances, Radcliffe pulled themself back into the match and in the last minute would have snatched an undeserved draw had it not been for the combined efforts of Woody and Paul Hallam, who desperately managed to prevent the goal from being breached.
Gaz slaloms through the champs ( Fanzines 1 Burton Joyce A 0)
Going into this home game against the reigning champs it's probably fair to say that confidence wasn't exactly high, given that we'd condeded seven goals without reply in the two games of the previous season and were without a couple of key players. And when Dave won the ball in the midfield and slid it through to Gaz, making his full debut, no one really expected him to glide from the half way line, drift around a couple of challenges, slide round the goalkeeper and stroke the ball into the net to score his first goal for the club. But that's exactly what he did. At the other end, high work-rate and fortune combined to preserve a clean sheet, for what was to be a vital win.
Jimbo's giuded missile ( Notts Athletic 0 Fanzines 3)
No, not the title of a porn film (though I'm sure that would be a best seller), but the moment of magic that broke the deadlock at Alford Road against the combative Notts Athletic. Playing up the slope, in a striking but unfamiliar ~QPR-esque kit, the opening goal of the game came from the equally white and dazzling boot of Gaffer's golden boy. With the home side pushed back, Tino won the ball at centre-half and found Dave who managed to poke it inside to Jim. The first touch was used to set himself, the second unleashed a low drive that stayed no more than six inches off the ground as it flew into the bottom right hand corner of the net. Adam added two second half goals to seal the win, but the quality of the first was without compare.
Twiggy's injury time equaliser ( Brinsthorpe 1 Fanzines 1)
A shitty day at Eastwood on a sloppy mess of a pitch and Fanzines found themselves staring defeat in the face, having condeded an early goal and then battered the opposition for much of the match without result. Then, in the third/fourth/fifth minute of stoppage time Daz won yet another free-kick, and this time Twiggy produced a stunner, guiding the ball over the keeper and into the very far top corner of the net, to claim a vital point. He'd done something similar a few weeks earlier against Medics, but the context and the timing of this strike made it so much more satisfying.
Dave's sliced winner ( TRD 1 Fanzines 2)
It was a tough, hard fought game against Reclaims at the Forest in December, but one which Fanzines felt they were always going to win. It took quite a goal to do it though. With fifteen minutes remaining and the scores level, Daz's cross was turned back by G11 to Dave on the corner of the penalty box, and he produced a dipping, swerving effort that flew past the keeper and into the net, for what was without doubt the best goal he'd ever scored. Some called it a mis-hit. Others a fluke. Gaz called it the goal of the season, and that's good enough for me.
Happy New Year ( WBA 1 Fanzines 5)
The EMPAL fixture computer (ie Brian) always throws up some interesting quirks, and so it was with back to back games against West Bridgford Albion either side of Christmas. The first was a tempestuous affair at Elms Park which saw the visitors twice take the lead before Tino scored a late equaliser with his first and only goal for the club. The second game, the first of the new year, was expected to be similar, but instead Fanzines raced to a three goal lead in the first 20 minutes, led from the front by the captain, and ended up as comfortable 5-1 winners. If the first point was a sign of the improved resiliance, the other three were surely an indication that
a title challenge could be maintained until the end.
G11's late lob ( Fanzines 1 HPR 0)
Having cruised through the first game against the league's whipping boys, the second proved to be an altogether more difficult proposition. Deep into (Mr. Lowe's) added time after a disjointed performance that had still seen a number of good chances spurned, G11 was played through by Ste, and the old master produced a Cantona-esque lob that rolled back the years and kept the wheels just about on the bandwagon.
Adam kills off the Medics ( Notts Medics 0 Fanzines 2)
In what was without doubt the hardest fought win of the year, any goal would prove to be vital. Having clung on during the early onslaught, Haseley had broken the deadlock (and the keeper) before Adam did what he'd been doing all season by getting his head on yet another cross and powering the ball into the bottom corner to make the three points a certainty. Medics would deservedly go on to finish fourth. This was one hell of a game.
Kip saves the day ( Fanzines 3 Brinsthorpe 0)
Slender victories. Last gasp winners. Late equalisers. None of this would be possible if the game was out of sight before the end. And whilst this is very much a team effort, the hard work of the strikers and midfield supporting the discipline of the back four, there's no doubt that the quality of both the Fanzines keepers has a huge impact on the side. Nine clean sheets in the league is a great achievement, and Kip sealed his seventh with a fantastic near-post save from a Brinsthorpe corner in the penultimate game of the season. It was all the more important because, with 20 minutes to go and just a one goal lead, a Brinsthorpe equaliser could have ended the league campaign there and then. Instead, Adam and Stephen went down the other end to help each other to a 3-0 win, and keep the dream alive until the final game. But that's another story...
''Fanzines United (1) 2 v [[Total Reclaims Demolition]] (0) 0''
EMPAL Division One
2nd September 2007
//This week's match report is brought to you in the style of those classic old Hitchcock movies or episodes of Columbo where two people give differing accounts of the same event and we, the audience, are left wondering what is the truth and, indeed, what is the nature of 'truth' itself. As these accounts are written by Andy and Dave though, you can be assured that none of the following has any bearing on the reality of the events...//
Part I: Dave
As if by magic, it all falls into place. A summer of worry and trepidation, of lost players and upcoming battles, melted away on a glorious opening day of the season as Fanzines demonstrated that teamwork and organisation, allied to a smattering of talent, may go a long way to ensuring another successful season in the big league. And it is to be a season spent on the big front pitch at Elm's Park, which looked resplendent in the bright September sunlight, as green and as accomodating a surface as any team will enjoy this year, and which left Rich and Jim speculating about whether even the professionals would struggle to cover each blade during an average game, such is the gaping enormity of it. Still, it encourages flowing football and it certainly encourages the opponents, who turned out to have completely transformed themselves since the previous meeting. Gone is much of the agression and antogonism from last year's Division Two champs, and in its place is talent and tenacity, the cream of the old Rushcliffe SHR team and the strength of some talented Saturday players. TRD will be a force to be reckonned with this year.
Whether or not The Gaffer had been doing his homework, the bare bones of his available squad somewhat forced his hand in terms of selection, but there were still a few surprises with his decision to try a few players in unfamiliar roles. But if you can't trust the Gaffer, who can you trust? And, though Reclaims started strongly and dominated much of the possession, they never really threatened Kip's goal or created any meaningful chances. Adam and Whitts looked strong in defence, Jimbo setttled immediately into a midfield role alongside Dave (like Lampard & Gerrard, but in a good way, is how the Golden Boy likened it) whilst Daz and Mark proved a handful for the opposition back line, chasing and harrying and forcing mistakes.
It was the same front two who combined to score the opener, somewhat out of the blue, as Daz fed the ball forward to Mark who controlled and shot in one movement to wrongfoot the keeper and slide the ball into the net. And though TRD came back strongly, the few chances that were created in the half fell to the Clarets, with Adam in particular forcing a good stop from the keeper having found himself one on one from a scrambled free-kick. The talk therefore at half-time was one of caution and frustration, of trying to get hold of the ball and use the space, rather than soaking up all the pressure and attacking on the break which has now almost become the Fanzines trademark.
For more pressure was to follow in the second half. Not once though did TRD manage to get behind the back line or overrun the midfield to create potential havoc, and when an innocuous looking challenge for the ball between Rich Shaw and the talented TRD striker left both on the floor for a number of concerned minutes, the general feeling amongst the home side was of a game which was under control, but which desperately needed a second goal to put the result beyond doubt.
Part II: Andy
I arrived to find Kip facing penalty practice and a general sense of not much happening – half time? No, ten minutes into the second half and a clash of heads between Rich and a TRD player had led to a stoppage as the hard head of Fanzines' new right back led to the call for an ambulance as his opponent drifted in and out of consciousness. After being treated in the ambulance he was taken to hospital and it goes without saying that all at the club wish him well for a full recovery.
The restart brought a battle for midfield supremacy with neither side able to create any clear cut chances, TRD claiming more possession but Fanzines looking ever dangerous going forward with the hard working duo of Heithus and Buxton providing a perfect foil for the ever willing and onrushing midfield four.
Nevertheless, it was apparent that it would take something special to open up either defence and so it proved, a goal of such beauty that just the very thought of it brings a tear to my eye. Adam, breaking up play and striding forward, a lay off to Jimbo and then out wide to Jonesy, keeping the shape. A touch, a turn and a sprinting into space ahead down the right by Dave. A pass into feet, a shimmy and the full back is nowhere to be seen. The decision, to shoot at an ever tightening angle or pass to a team mate? Head up and the option to cross is the right one. Deft and decisive, evading the onrushing Twiggy but falling perfectly to Daz, predator at the back post, to return across the keeper and into the bottom corner. Delight and relief. A truly great team goal, a fine example of what can be achieved by applying the basics of the beautiful game – head up, ball to feet and running into space.
TRD down but far from out. Pressure galore but a resolute back four and, first an exemplary last ditch tackle from Rich Shaw, then an acrobatic tip over from Kip, keep the clean sheet intact. The final whistle and three points gained from impressive opponents who will surely win more games than they lose this season. The challenge for Fanzines, to do the same. But as The Gaffer stressed in his post match warm down chat, he couldn’t have asked for any more from his charges for a start. Long may such performances of dedication and determination continue.
Team: Broughton, Shaw, Brown, Whittaker, Collinson, Greenwood, Jones, Timpson, Heithus, Buxton, Remzi (Carmody)
Scorers: Buxton, Heithus
''[[Radcliffe Olympic A]] (0) 1 v Fanzines United (1) 2''
EMPAL Division One
9th September 2007
What do you want to know? Do you want to know how Fanzines approached this game against Radcliffe with a mixture of confidence and trepidation? Confidence after an impressive opening day victory, and trepidation as Olympic had proved themselves to be dangerous opponents last season, particularly adept at exposing lapses in concentration and weaknesses in any team’s make-up. Do you want to hear how Fanzines were missing key players in key positions and were testing the boundaries of their new squad? How Mark’s versatility was obvious as he slotted into a centre-back role alongside Adam? How Robertino’s debut saw him battle against the early pace and narrowly avoid the ref’s cards before starting to show glimpses of the skills he could offer? How Gaz and Haseley illustrated the threat they can pose, and how Hallam’s Fanzines return was crowned with a goal-line clearance in the final minute to preserve a result that had been fought for so fiercely in the exacting heat of the September sunshine? Ok, I’ll tell you about all that then.
Unquestionably, Radcliffe Olympic have some skilful players when they have the ball, but the best players also show their quality without the ball, working for the team, closing the spaces and making runs to drag the opposition out of position, and Fanzines’ start clearly demonstrated that they possessed more of the latter type of player, starting the game with determination and pace, and showing that they could pass their way through the rather static back-line seemingly at will. Yet, as clear goal-scoring chances were spurned by first Twiggy and then Daz, both with rather tame finishes, the end-product was proving to be elusive until a scramble in the box resulted in Daz’s cross/shot being turned in by G11, making his first start in a league game for well over a year. And though Olympic drove forward dangerously, they were unable to penetrate the claret’s defence, as captain Shaw marshalled the line with typical commitment, whilst Woody barked his instructions from behind.
What was required though was another goal to provide a comfy cushion, and it duly arrived in the first minute of the second half. Jonesy’s long range shot was finely saved by the keeper, but the resulting cross from Twiggy was plonked into the net by Adam. Soon after, Jimbo was forced to disrupt the midfield solidity by limping off with a battered kneecap but, on his debut, substitute Gaz Brown’s pace and touch added a fresh dimension to the Fanzines attack. Radcliffe gradually began to force the visitors further and further back, dominating the possession and carving a few half-chances before pulling one back when a borderline offside decision went in their favour and the blue’s striker hammered the ball home as the Fanzines defenders stood waiting for a whistle that never came.
A game that some thought had already been won was still in the balance, first as Gaz broke through and forced a good save from the keeper, and then when the Olympic skipper volleyed over from six yards. But, as Hallam and Woody combined to block what seemed like an inevitable equaliser and the ref brought a pulsating match to a close, the three points were nestling in Gaffer’s smelly ball sack, along with a 100% record and the prospect of a visit of the champions at Elms Park next week.
Team: Wood, Shaw, Todino (Hallam), Buxton, Collinson, Greenwood, Jones, Timpson (Brown G), Heithus (Gordon), Remzi, Gilbert
Goals: Gilbert, Collinson
''Fanzines United (1) 1 v [[Burton Joyce A]] (0) 0''
EMPAL Division One
16 September 2007
Well, the day didn't start off so well as I nearly ran out of petrol, forgot my boots and was beaten to Elms Park by Twiggy & Hallam (looking very dodgy in the car together - I half expected Stan Collymore to pop out from the hedge) before 9:30am. Just to compound matters, as soon as I parked up a huge cloud appeared which scuppered my weather predictions - much to Twiggys delight - and we were set to play last seasons runaway champions without at least 3 key players, a last minute referee (thank you Courtney for offering) and the prospect of a very hungover Jimbo (or even more worrying, an incarcerated Jimbo). Finally, being as supersticious as I am, playing on the front pitch in the corresponding fixture as the previous season meant only one thing - a whopping defeat and a serious injury for someone.
However, little did I realise that, although the sun wasn't shining down on us, good fortune shone through. Burton Joyce arrived early and looked pretty much like the same squad of players as last season although there was one major difference - my hero Dean Yates had resigned (just for you Andy!).
After all the worrying, the replacement ref appeared and then Jimbo arrived before 10 o clock and, despite being quiet and locking himself in the toilet as soon as he arrived, he took the field on time.
Kip replaced Woody in goal and Gareth got a full debut up front whilst our other new signing Antony got a place on the bench.To be honest the game as always is a bit of a blur but I do remember the following:
Haseley disappearing just as the ref wanted a linesman,thanks to Paul Hallam for stepping in.
A very disciplined and bright start and Twiggy actually running and not complaining or grabbing his hamstring (until midway through the 2nd Half anyway).
A Burton Joyce player getting injured and some very disconcerting screams from said player but hopefully it wasn't too serious (G11 was extremely close to play at the time I'm told).
There is no doubt that, despite being tough to play against and various players still bedding into the Fanzines formation, Burton Joyce will let you play football and that is exactly what we did for the rest of the 1st Half. In fact we had just had our best spell of possession when the injury happened. Shortly after this the ball got played through to Gareth - from Dave allegedly - and he shimmied past the keeper and kept running and running and just when it looked like he'd gone too far and there were at least four Burton Joyce defenders back on the line he nonchalantly slipped the ball in the net.1-0 to Fanzines United. Dreamland!!.
Yet more dogged Fanzines defending, especially at corners and a bit of luck saw us make half-time in the lead.
We had time to re-group and prepare for the bombardment that Burton Joyce were bound to throw at us in the next 45 minutes. In fact thats just what happened and, despite my pleas to try and keep the ball more, we decided it would be fun to give Kip and Adam some catching and heading practice - thankfully they were up for the challenge, although it took its toll on Adam who hurt his foot and couldn't even make the pub or go shopping afterwards.
Paul Hallam replaced the ever tiring Robertino, who lasted longer than the previous week at Radcliffe but was very effective at left back again, and Paul got stuck in straight away. Somehow we acquired an extra right back, as Ady obviously didn't trust his skipper, but despite all this we still managed a couple of half chances and it wasn't all one way traffic. Attempts included a scuffed shot from Dave that nearly snuck in at the far post and Adam hitting the bar at both ends (always looking to score - its in his blood!). Even Twiggy had at least one shot on goal (well about 10 yards wide actually) before I rescued him from further embarrassment and substitued him. In fact anyone who saw his fanclub turn up will have witnessed that his Mum has got a better first touch than him and she had sandals on. New boy Antony had license to run around and make a nuisance of himself which he promptly did very well and, much to his disgust, I managed to get Hasely on for the last 5 minutes to try and win a few headers.
Then, after the umpteenth missed chance, we showed a grit and determination to hang on till the final whistle, knackered and relieved (and that was just me, Andy and Courtney watching). Another dogged performance which showed true character and effort against a very good side. Lets hope we put this much effort in against weaker teams. Nine points from nine and top of the league - that's one better than last year's start to the season, and the serious injury wasn't ours this time round.
By the way, if you fancy a laugh check out Notts Athletic's guestbook.
Team: Broughton, Shaw, Todino (Hallam), Buxton, Collinson, Greenwood, Jones, Timpson, Brown G (Gordon), Remzi (Morris), Gilbert
Goal: Brown G
''Fanzines United (2) 4 v [[Local Inn]] (2) 5''
23 September 2007
Sunday Junior County Cup 1st Round
"A View From The Back"
Fanzines fell at the first hurdle of the 07/08 County Cup, undone by a mix of energetic youthfulness, wily experience and sheer determination in the shape of last season's Minor Cup runners-up, Local Inn (Mansfield).
Faced with yet another selection headache (unfortunately due to injuries as opposed to form) The Gaffer was not afforded the opportunity to experiment. The absence of Collinson (foot), Timpson (thigh), Buxton (extra curricular) and Remzi (back) was countered with the return of Whittaker and Brown (both after two games out) and Papa Heithus who, contrary to rumour, had completed all of last weeks half-marathon on foot.
Team news: after several good performances, Paul Hallam slotted in at left back, Whittaker returned to captain the side partnering Tino in the centre of defence, Jones moved to the centre of midfield and new signing Anthony started on the right, whilst Daz returned up front, starting with Gareth Brown. And on the sidelines - Fanzines' solitary WAG, the return of Justin, the injured trio of Steve, Timmo and Adam, as well as ex-legend Doorly to form the season's biggest attendance to date.
Untypically all squad members arrived well before kick off which, coupled with The Gaffers unsunny disposition, meant a lengthy pre-match warm-up was required. However this preparation did nothing to help the sluggish start from the EMPAL side, and it was slightly against the run of play when Heithus placed the ball deliberately when awarded a free kick outside the away team's area, spotted a gap and exploited it fully - stroking home from 25 yards to prove he is indeed the newest 'daddy' of the team.
It wasn't long however before the usually reliable last line of the team was breached. Not wishing to dwell on the negatives, opportunities to clear were not taken and Local Inn were able to capitalise from 6 yards.
The lead was restored shortly after when Brown (G) carved an opportunity from nothing, unleashing an unstoppable drive from distance which buried itself near the stantion, Brooking-style. Yet, as so often happens in these topsy-turvey type of fixtures, an equaliser was gifted when a bouncing ball unsettled the defence and was poked home unchallenged past the onrushing 'keeper. 2-2 at half time and Fanzines were perhaps fortunate to still be in the tie.
If the half-time rollicking was delivered to inspire, the home side committed Hari Kari straight from the kick off; a long throw, a miss timed clearance and the away side led for the first time, volleying home in a crowded six yard box.
Despite the deficit, Fanzines began to play some of the football worthy of their 100% start to the season. Dave and Adie started to take control of the centre, and when Daz's fine cross was met by G11, the rotund Local 'keeper proved his doubters wrong, somehow pushing the ball out from point blank range.
Over enthusiastic tackling by some of the away side saw, on a number of occasions, Antony upended, resulting in one final slide (inexplicably unpunished by the lenient referee) which left the newbie clutching both his ankle and his head as he was forced to leave the field for good. It was whilst down to ten men that Fanzines were again punished, with perhaps the only goal conceded that did not directly stem from a huge defensive error, as a deep corner was met at the far post, headed back into a melee of players, and prodded into the roof of the net for a 4-2 lead.
If any positives can be drawn from this game, it's that Fanzines refused to give up and began to produce some fluid and potent attacks. When a slick passing move resulted in an excellent effort from Heithus crashing against the post, Gaz was pulled back whilst attempting to latch on to the rebound and Greenwood seized the opportunity to calmly dispatch the resulting penalty to again reduce the lead to solitary goal.
The introduction of Hasely for Antony and Dan for Paul injected a little more energy, but though the away side continued to sink deeper and deeper they stood firm under the pressure. Then, not content with chasing one goal, Fanzines contrived to double the disadvantage; hesitation once again allowing the away team's 'rainbow haired' striker to slide home from two yards after yet another defensive howler.
As the clock ticked, Fanzines pressed forward seeking a lifeline and when a 50 yard angled free kick from Whitts was expertly controlled by Gareth, he dispatched it brilliantly to make it 4-5. And though the clarets continued to press, the opportunity to take the game to extra time (where surely they would have gone on to seal the win) was denied.
In a game littered with errors it seems a shame to reflect on the 'ifs and buts'...if Whittaker's late header hadn't crashed against the upright; if Dan's powerful free kick was a foot lower; if G11 hadn't hit his effort a little too well; if the referee's interpretation of the laws of the game weren't taken from the 1970's; ...whilst, at the other end, if only the footballing clichés of 'if in doubt...', 'no bounce' and '...the way your facing' were adhered to!
A defeat. Five goals conceded, all of which could, and should, have been avoided. A team, with the exception of Daz and Gareth, that would have done well to have gained 3 points each in the 'Suns Dream Team' ratings.
The feeling in the Fanzines changing room was a mix of disappointment and disbelief. A side boasting the best defensive record in the top division conceded five soft goals. A team currently top after a winning start to the season had been taught a lesson by lower opposition. And a team built around commitment, energy and endeavour had been out-committed, out-energised and out-endeavoured.
To The Gaffer:
I think I'm speaking on behalf of the team when I apologise to you for the way we competed today. Your commitment, passion and enthusiasm should have been reflected on the pitch, and today it wasn't. Every season we seem to have an uncharacteristic performance (2-6 vs. West End 06/07, 0-3 vs. Inter 05/06, 2-6 vs. Ardley 04/05) that can't be explained. I hope that this result proves to be our 07/08 result. We let you, the club and ourselves down. I think we have all learnt a little from today's performance. It is up to us all to take responsibility, draw a line under this game and return to the way we know we can play. So, another seasons county cup run has been brought to a premature end. Congratulations to Local Inn, who, if they can defend as well as they can capitalise on weaknesses, I'm sure will have a good run in the competition.
Team: Broughton, Shaw, Hallam (Brown D), Whittaker, Todino, Greenwood, Morris (Gordon), Jones, Heithus, Brown G, Gilbert
Scorers: Heithus, Brown G x2, Greenwood (pen)
[[West End]](1) 2 v Fanzines United (2) 2
EMPAL Division One
30 September 2007
[img[http://photos-657.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v134/49/40/675480657/n675480657_334118_3300.jpg]]
A genuine top of the table clash. Two teams with undefeated records to defend. One team with a cabinet straining with silverware, but reeling from a relatively unsuccessful previous season. The other, a bunch of upstarts, finally beginning to prove that they're not punching above their weight. The stuff of which Sunday League dreams are made
And so a sunny autumnal morning saw Fanzines tumbling into the well-hidden Nuthall ground, with its row of park benches and 1920's pavilion, eager to move on from the error-strewn cup disappointment of the week before. With the continued absence of "Adam and His Amazing Stabilising Effect", the onus was on the whole team to resist the urge to throw the game away at every possible opportunity this time, and return to the solidity shown in the league so far this year.
Leading by example as always, skipper Whitts was late and vice-skipper Shawy was on dog turd duty, leaving the rest of the squad to absorb both Gaffer's wisdom and the unspeakable pungent foulness emanating from the looming toilet. Into the fresh air, a brief warm-up and the game was on.
Now, Fanzines may not be the greatest team in the world (debatable, I know) but they at least try to play football sometimes, as they showed with a brisk, fluid start to the game. Passing to feet and contesting every ball, with pressure mounting on the home side, and after Whitts had a header from a corner cleared off the line, the clarets took the lead when Twiggy's long throw fell to the feet of Daz and the burly striker swivelled and drilled the ball into the net at the near post. It was somewhat against the run of play then to immediately concede a soft equaliser when a long diagonal ball caused confusion at the back, allowing the West End striker to outpace Rich Shaw and squeeze a hooked finish beyond the fingers of the astonished Kip. Thankfully, fortune favoured the Fanzines as the away side quickly restored their lead when G11 wisely responded to Daz's screams to move out of the way, allowing the number 9 to unleash an unstoppable toe poke from outside the box which flew into the top of the net.
West End reshuffled their options and increasingly began to impose themselves on the game either side of half-time, with their Number 5 in particular showing some deft touches. But the goal with which he restored parity was once again due to a defensive/goalkeeper mix-up, as another long clearance fell between the two, tempting Kip to come out to ball that he couldn't quite reach and allowing the striker to neatly chip into the unguarded net from a challenging angle.
And, as Fanzines were forced to sink further and further back, they lost control and shape, failing to hold onto the ball in attack and ceasing to play the slick passes to feet that had been so effective at the start of the game. Yet, for all their possession (and Gaffer's resulting palpitations), West End created very few chances to take the lead. Rather it was Fanzines on the break who improbably seemed likeliest to score, with Jimbo forcing a smart save after a long-range first-time side-footer, and Gaz volleying over from outside the box. In the end, the tidy young ref brought the game to an end with both sides probably feeling disappointed that only a point had been earned, yet satisfied that momentum had not been lost and optimistic that a trophy-winning season was still a possibility. Onwards!
Team: Broughton, Shaw, Brown D, Whittaker, Buxton, Greenwood, Remzi (Gordon), Timpson, Heithus, Brown G, Gilbert
Sub Not Used: Hallam
Goals: Heithus x2
''Fanzines United (0) 0 v [[West End]] (0) 1''
EMPAL Division One
21 October 2007
Autumn! Brilliant! Reds and golds and browns. Bright clear mornings. The cold snap. The chilly nip in the air. The frosty breath and shimmering dew on the sumptuous green carpet of the Elms Park pitch. A resheduled return fixture against West End, after two weeks of inaction, and another top of the table clash. Sometimes it is great to be alive. All else pales to this.
Pre-game keeper concerns were eased as Woody's wagon drew into sight, whilst the niggles and knocks of the rest of the squad were largely overcome to give The Gaffer a rare selection dilemma. Jonesy's great vision but dodgy eyes kept him out of contention, whilst Adam slotted back into the defence and jumpin' Joe Doorly donned the super-sub shirt for the first time this season, despite having been hobbled by the ferocious feet of G11 during training. A pristine reverential hush seemed to surround the ground, and the opening minutes did little to disturb this atmosphere, with the calmness and stillness displayed by both sides doing little to stir the passions or the senses.
Eventually Fanzines threatened to spring into life, but invariably moves were broken down and passes were misplaced or mistimed. For their part, West End battled away but their endeavours were invariably repelled by the disciplined organisation of the home side. The mistakes that both sides would rely on to create goal scoring opportunities were simply not being provided. Woody made a couple of smart saves from opportunistic efforts, whilst Dave blazed the best chance of the game narrowly over the bar after good work from Twiggy down the right, and Daz saw his long range effort tipped onto the woodwork by the diminutive (and otherwise untested) keeper.
Gaffer tried to blast some fire into the side at half-time, calling for an increase in workrate and quality, and though there were large patches of domination and pressure, there were few clear cut chances as a result. And though it was still an evenly balanced contest, it was the vistors who found themselves more obviously frustrated, forcing further saves from the impressive Woody, and then seeing successive goalbound efforts repelled, first by Adam's nads and then by Dave's face. With the clock nudging towards five minutes remaining and both sides seeming to happily settle for a draw, the ball fell to the feet of the tricky West End striker on the edge of the box, and with a line of claret shirts in front of him he curled the ball with his left foot against the far post and into the goal for an astonishing winner.
A cruel, cruel blow, so late in the game and after so much positive endeavour. Fanzines attempted to reply, but to no avail. Defeat. The first league defeat of the season, and in this league where no result can be predicted and no clear favourite is emerging, all dropped points are painfully felt. Wheels off? Bubble burst? Or just a moment of ill fortune? The attitude and application shown in the upcoming games may well provide the answer.
Team: Wood, Shaw, Brown D, Whittaker, Collinson, Greenwood, Remzi, Timpson, Heithus, Brown G (Gordon), Gilbert
Subs Not Used: Jones, Todino, Doorly
''Fanzines United (2) 4 v [[Notts Athletic]] (2) 2''
EMPAL Cup, 2nd Round
4 November 2007
What could be more appropriate during firework season than a potentially explosive cup tie against Notts Athletic, a home tie shifted from the fire damaged Elms Park to the Alford Road pitch that ostensibly serves as the opponent's very own? A stern test indeed and strong wills required, and thankfully a strong squad made itself available, allowing the Gaffer to unleash his fearsome tactical masterstroke of making no changes whatsoever from the narrow defeat in the previous game two weeks ago. That the Bearded Wonder did not actually need to use the strong bench at his disposal until the game was effectively won is testament to the undoubted quality of the Fanzines squad these days, though that quality wasn't particularly in evidence during the opening fifteen minutes of the game which saw Notts pressing strongly from the start and bagging an opener when poor tackling and slack marking allowed the left winger to prod home at the back post.
Employing a 4-5-1 formation, Notts' three man centre midfield was proving to be a considerable challenge to Fanzines' dynamic duo of Jimbo and Dave, who found themselves outnumbered and occasionally bypassed, but slowly an element of control was restored and the pressure on the visitor's defence increased. The equaliser came as Dave's cross from the right was deflected down to Gaz who giuded a bobbler into the corner and, soon after, the same player's long range shot was spilled by the keeper, pounced upon by Twiggy and, in the resulting mayhem, fell to Dave who drilled it into the net for a 2-1 lead. A third should have been added soon after as two or three chances from a goalmouth scramble from a corner were somehow cleared from danger, something that proved all the more costly when Tank's movement from a Nott's corner allowed him to slip away from Whitts to powerfully head an equaliser.
As the second half progressed in the same pattern of hard work and half chances, both teams probably felt that they were in control and destined to win the game. Kip made a couple of smart saves and Notts hit the bar from long range, whilst Gaz had two good chances but lacked power in his shooting boots at the vital moment. The Fanzine defence was standing firm under considerable pressure, with Shawy in particular winning the game almost single handedly by resisting the surges of the Notts left winger (but still failing to do any overlapping!). And just as the game entered the final ten minutes and all concerned, particularly the comdey ref, began to fret about the upcoming period of extra time, the clarets took a decisive lead. A series of short, sharp passes from Dave to Gaz to Jimbo on the left, and his nonchalant chip into the centre was perfectly weighted to allow Daz to stoop and caress a header over the line. And when Tino, seconds after being introduced by the wily boss, managed a near-post flick-on which by-passed the entire defence and allowed Daz to nuzzle a second header into the net for a 4-2 lead, the icing was well and truly on the cake, and the Fanzines number slipped into the velvet bag, ready for further cup exploits.
Team: Broughton, Shaw, Brown D (Todino), Whittaker, Collinson, Greenwood, Remzi (Jones), Timpson, Heithus (Buxton), Brown G, Gilbert
Sub Not Used: Doorly
Goals: Brown G, Greenwood, Heithus x2
''[[Nottingham Law School]] (1) 1 v Fanzines Utd (1) 3''
EMPAL Division One
11 November 2007
Back to back fixtures for the first time since late September saw Fanzines pitted against their bogey team, Nottingham Law School. Hoping to build on the previous week's cup victory, the Gaffer once again was given a selection headache with the absence of midfield trio G11, Jones and the side's self-named playmaker Greenwood. The return of ex-legend Doorly, slotting in at left back, meant Dan Brown was able to move to the left side of a midfield bolstered by the inclusion of Tino (partnering Timo) in the centre in an otherwise unchanged 11.
An indifferent start to their season meant that the home side were an unknown quantity, and the mystery was complete when an entirely new squad, minus the (finally!) graduated-Ginger, took to the field. Last season's visits to the Clifton Campus had seen 8 goals conceded, with only two in reply. The Gaffer, ignoring Alan Hansen's claim that "you'll win nothing with kids", rightly suggested to the veterans of the side to 'be afraid...'
An impeccably observed minutes silence was quickly forgotten, as tackles and remonstrations with the young referee disrupted the flow of the game. Fanzines started like the away side they were, clearing desperately in the hope of stifling their oppositions quick, passing style. The opening 15 minutes saw neither 'keeper tested, Fanzines finally coming to terms with the swirling wind and attempting to use the wide men of Remzi and Dan Brown as a way of releasing the pacy Gareth Brown and the wily Heithus up front. The breakthrough, when it came was perhaps against the run of play; a searching ball from the half way line from Timpson was chased down, and as the Law School 'keeper hesitated, a combination of bounce, wind and determination saw the ball spilled, and the grateful Heithus was able to steer the ball home from 10 yards. Hopes that the lead would enable Fanzines to settle and play some of the football that has justified their start to the season were quickly dashed as the students started to up their game. A free kick was comfortably saved, balls whipped in that both Whittaker and Collinson were able to head clear, whilst a deflected shot following a corner was cleared from the line by Dan Brown. As half time approached the resistance finally crumbled. Timpson was wrestled off the ball in the centre circle, a foul inexplicably unpunished by the referee, and as the NLS midfielder carried the ball forward unchallenged he was able to unleash a shot from fully 25 yards that swerved into the back of the net. Relief from the home side, frustration from Fanzines which resulted in the first yellow card of the season, Tino the ungrateful recipient.
And so to half time. A surprise perhaps that the Gaffer wasn't more critical in the lack of self belief, instead calmly reinforcing our footballing ethic that is shown so often on a Tuesday. A bigger surprise, Fanzines actually started the second half having listened to the managers advice, with a new impetus that they could come away with all three points.
A reshuffle due to Doorlys reoccurrence of an ankle injury meant that Buxton slotted in on the right of midfield, Remzi switched wings and Dan Brown dropped back to his more familiar full back role. As Fanzines started to control the game, cracks in the home team's back line started to appear. Whittaker was relieved the whistle had blown for an infringement as he headed over from close in, whilst Shaw and Brown were given more freedom to 'overlap', giving the visitors more width which seemed to stretch the NLS defence. A loose ball in the middle was picked up by Remzi, who slid a perfectly weighted ball through to Gaz Brown. As he challenged the onrushing 'keeper, the ball broke loose, and Brown was able to calmly control the ball before sidefooting past the covering defender to give Fanzines the deserved lead.
A tired Tino was replaced by Hallam, meaning Remzi was switched back to the right (Buxton coming infield to partner Timpson). This change almost resulted in a third, Heithus' powerful drive was just too high. He made amends shortly after, when he latched on to Fanzines' newest 'assist-king', Remzi's perfect through ball, showing both pace and power to hold off the challenge before unleashing a low drive that flew into the bottom corner, to give the away team a two goal advantage.
The shock of going further behind forced the hosts into a new style of attack. They seemed to bypass the pace of the frustrated right winger, and the skills of the Crouch-a-like on the left and opt for a more direct approach, resorting to long throws and hopeful balls. Hesitation from Broughton in a heavily congested area went unpunished as once again Dan Brown was able to hack clear, and when the visiting 'keeper was quick off his line to save well, the resulting rebound was once again smuggled to safety.
Remzi almost capped off a dream day when his measured volley hit an upright, and as the clock ticked so too did the Law Schools desperation. With five minutes to spare, a loose ball, a mistimed challenge and a save from the resulting penalty pretty much ended the students hopes (there's Kip playing down the importance and quality of his save! - ed).
Jubilation from the travelling team and their faithful supporters. Disappointment for the home side. The referees admission that he made a mistake in allowing the Law School equaliser to stand, thankfully not an error that affected the outcome. The Gaffer, justified in his half time belief that a footballing Fanzines side are a match for anyone in Empals top division.
Lets just hope that the weather and the young arsonists of Ruddington are kind to us, and a run of games over the next few weeks will see this two game winning momentum continue.
Team: Broughton, Doorly (Buxton), Collinson, Whittaker, Shaw, Brown D, Timpson, Todino (Hallam), Remzi, Heithus, Brown G.
Goals: Heithus (2), Brown G
''Fanzines United (1) 2 v [[Nottingham Medics]] A (1) 1''
EMPAL Division One
18 November 2007
This is what Sunday morning football is all about, defying the odds when everything seems to be going against you. Officially no changing rooms or showers on the coldest/wettest day of the season so far, awful conditions for football and missing our Captain and other key teammates. All the elements that can conspire to bring the worst out of Fanzines but this morning proved that it takes more than that to knock us off our stride these days.
After an early inspection, the facilities were passed fit and just as well as only four of us managed to find our way back to the store room after the match. Despite being without Whitts, Mark and Joe Doorly, the squad was bolstered by the return of Dave,G11 and Ady Jones. Again early signs didn't bode well when Notts Medics all turned up together and were changed and warming up whilst The Gaffer was still fretting about the tardiness of Captain Shaw and Golden Boy Jimbo.
100% effort, committment and endeavour were the order of the day and with Tino filling his absent brother-in-laws boots and Dave and G11 regaining their midfield berths, that left the unfortunate Jones and Hallam trying to find some warmth on the touchline along with The Gaffer and the loyal Whittaker brother.
Personally I thought we started brightly so the frustration was doubly felt when Notts Medics took a very early lead direct from a corner in off the back post. Post match analysis( ie pub talk) tried to put the blame firmly on G11s head (note: unlike the ball) but he claimed that the faintest touch by Kip took it off him (although if you are stood shivering on the post with your eyes shut I think thats clutching at straws). So early worries about Fanzines' desire to win were put to the test and the next 15 minutes were a stern test of character before we finally settled down.Slowly we began to compete and tried to slip Daz or Gareth in but we hung on to the ball far too long and seemed scared to pass and move.
The first real chance fell to Daz who turned and shot when Dave was well placed for a pass and this seemed to sum up our play, making the wrong decision in the final third but after a few crossed words The Dazzler began to work tirelessly for the cause. So it was no surprise then that after half an hour Daz crossed (shot?) low across the face of the six yard box and the ball eluded everyone except a calm Twiggy who swung his trusty left foot and buried it at the far post (whilst falling flat on his arse - Ed). At last we had started to match the keeness of our young opposition but we still had to be at our best and it was no surprise when Kip was called into action and he made a smart save from a 25 yarder. However, after getting back into the game we had our best spell of play just before half- time.
The Gaffer wanted a bit more composure in the final third and to move the ball a bit quicker down the flanks as well as maintaining our discipline at the back. It's that simple(!) but Medics lined up full of aggression and enthusiasm. However, for all their bluster, Kip didn't have a single save to make and as the 2nd half unfolded Fanzines started to dictate play and create the better chances. Tino was having an outstanding game at the back and Captain Shaw marshalled his back four superbly whilst the midfield took control. Keeping the ball away from Medics Captain and centre-half was imperative, and we were unlucky with a couple of corners. The pressure finally told though when the left back conceded yet another freekick on the right wing. Ady Jones called it spot on from the touchline and when G11 ran over the ball Twiggy's free kick found the far corner perfectly. Still, with the majority of the 2nd half to go Fanzines' resilience was firmly put to the test, but despite a 10 minute period when we sat back a bit too much and allowed a shot to flash just wide, we coped admirably.
The introduction of Ady for Gareth with Twiggy moving up front meant we had another outlet and Ady soon played his part passing down the line and steadied the right flank whilst Twiggy worked tirelessly up front. After a couple more freekicks from Twiggy the best chance in the 2nd half fell to G11 who latched onto a chipped ball over the top from Daz but saw his effort go just wide of the far post. Whether it was the excitement of Daz passing or the nerves of being furthest forward on the pitch I'm not sure but G11 collpased with cramp in both legs and put Medics defenders' training to the test while play continued. Paul Hallam manfully stepped into his place despite being frozen.
The last few minutes seemed to last forever but finally Brian blew for full time and another epic battle had been won. 100% effort, committment and endeavour given and the reward of 3 more points added to the total, despite the lack of showers and Club Captain but who cares about such hardships when we work that hard.
Team: Broughton, Shaw, Brown D, Todino, Collinson, Greenwood, Remzi, Timpson, Heithus, Brown G (Jones), Gilbert (Hallam)
Goals: Remzi x2
''[[Notts Athletic]] (0) 0 v Fanzines United (1) 3''
EMPAL Divison One
25 November 2007
With December just around the corner and the half-way point of the season almost within sight, there remains little sense of order and stability in the turbulent world of the EMPAL top division. Expected high flyers are tumbling, whilst supposed also-rans are causing upsets and upset. Nothing is certain. Today's opponents, Notts Athletic, came into today's game fresh from an impressive victory over the champions Burton Joyce, whilst Fanzines were seeking to extend a two game winning streak in order to climb to the top of the league table. Mindful that such an atmosphere is liable to lead to a descent into chaos, Gaffer's christmas wish-list simply requested a continuation of the effort and organisation that has seen the team begin to eliminate the sporadic, costly errors that cost us so dearly in the past, with an impressive defensive record enabling a series of results that would have been unthinkable a few seasons ago.
Cast away on the narrowest, slopiest, most distant pitch at Alford Road, Fanzines took to the thankfully firm surface in unfamiliar attire, a natty QPR-esque white and blue number (without numbers) rescued from Dan's mate's garage that prevented the colour clash issues of the cup game three weeks before and which allowed Jimbo to revel in the way his white boots neatly blended into the pristine socks. Nice. With the home side piling down the hill from the start, and again playing with five in midfield, the frenetic opening minutes saw Fanzines having to withstand a series of hopeful attacks, but both Adam and Tino were strong and dominant, ably assisted by Rich and Dan who prevented any attempts by the Notts wide men to penetrate the back line. Kip's only trouble was the need to constantly retrieve the ball from the road as the stripes were limited to a number of wayward shots from distance, whilst the white's attempts to attack up the hill were disjointed but seemingly more potent. Twiggy forced a miraculous save from the keeper after a fierce right foot shot, whilst the Notts centre-half was forced to belt the ball over over his own bar after a chip from Dan (?) just lacked the legs to sneak over the line.
A moment of composure and quality was required to make the decisive breakthrough, and it came as a Notts clearance from a brief period of Fanzines pressure was mopped up by Tino, controlled by Dave whose squeezed pass to Jimbo allowed just enough time for the golden one to guide a fantastic shot from way outside the area into the bottom right-hand corner of the net. A tremendous finish, and a deserved lead at half-time. As the weak autumn sun emerged for the second-half and Notts changed to a 4-4-2 formation in an effort to retain possession in more advanced areas, the finesse and fitness of Fanzines began to show through. G11 began to sparkle on the left, stretching the full-back as much as the confines of the pitch would allow, whilst Daz 'n' Gaz battled away manfully against their markers, forcing a series of corners and throw-ins in dangerous positions, from which Fanzines indirectly extended their lead. With most of the home side defending deeply in their own box, Daz's turn and shot in the six-yard area was hacked away but fell only to the advancing Adam who chested the bouncing ball, allowed it to drop and half-volleyed a cracker which dipped and swerved straight into the goalies hands....straight through the goalies hands, and into the net.
A measure of control had been applied and, as Fanzines were afforded the time and space to actually begin to pass the ball to each others feet (!), the feeling of comfort and security spread. Jimbo made way for Whitts, and Mark came on for Daz, the quality of the changes made and the options still available to the Gaffer a testimony to the strong, competitive nature of the squad these days. The whites finally made a corner count, as Twiggy's precise delivery from the left was met with a crashing header from Adam for his second of the game. Notts were well-beaten, and frustrated by their inability to impose themselves on the game and the series of free-kicks awarded against them by the ref, their striker lashed out at skipper Shawy with a late challenge that was out of context with the rest of the game, and which saw him booked by the official and subbed by his own boss.
So, three league wins in a row, and Fanzines find themselves in the unfamiliar position of leading the way in the East Midlands Public Authorties League. Gaffer's squad of little elves are endeavouring to deliver the present that he wants the most, but with two tricky away games to come, and with nothing certain in this season of surprises, it's likely to be the team that maintains consistency and avoids complacency that will be top of the EMPAL tree this christmas.
One game at a time. One game at a time.
Team: Broughton, Shaw, Brown D, Todino, Collinson, Greenwood, Remzi, Timpson (Whittaker), Heithus (Buxton), Brown G, Gilbert
Subs Not Used: Jones, Gordon
Goals: Timpson, Collinson x2
''[[Brinsthorpe Rangers]] (1) 1 v Fanzines United (0) 1''
EMPAL Divison One
2 December 2007
Perception is a wonderful thing. How you see something will be different from how someone else sees the same thing or how I see it, though, of course, I am always right. It will always be affected by the circumstances, by the expectations and by something as simple as mood or weather or perceived injustices. There are no facts. There is no truth. Nothing is real.
It would be easy to say that the performance in this match against a determined Brinsthorpe side was below standard, but that wasn't the case at all. Brinsthorpe are a decent side. A side that beat Fanzines 3-1 in our last meeting. A side that pipped us to the second division title the year before. A side that have taken points from many of the best teams in the division this year. Any perception that the Fanzines performance was not up to recent standards is probably due to the relatively sluggish start and the scrappy goal conceded in the first ten minutes, and then by the ensuing failure of the visitors to make a succession of chances count.
But in terms of an actual performance, the conditions and the sporadic in-fighting did not have an adverse effect. Whilst there were periods where the passing was not up to scratch, where the wrong option was made, where communication was absent, and where the passion and frustration threatened to spill over into chaos, it was still a game where Kip's goal was largely untroubled, where the defence was rarely stretched, and where, on another day, Fanzines could easily have converted three or four gilt edged opportunities.
After a half-cleared ball from an early corner had been lashed into the net by the Brinsthorpe midfielder, the home side battled fiercely and impressively, disrupting any flow of play, and restricting the shiny shirted opponents to few moments of domination, which only occurred when the stripes finally began to pass the ball to each other. A fierce shot from G11 after a good run and cross by Daz was well saved by the keeper, whilst Adam narrowly headed over from a deeply flighted corner. Second-half chances and pressure increased, with Adam again stabbing over the bar from a few yards, Jimbo unable to back-heel from inches, Daz shooting strongly but widely on a number of occasions, and Dave being blocked by determined lunges from the green and yellow defensive line that was throwing itself into every challenge
It seemed that the game was lost. Having played at least five added minutes and with time drifting by, like the ball on the wind as it was successively blown/bashed out of play, Daz won a hotly contested free-kick wide on the right and Twiggy, having blazed a similar set-play over the bar ten minutes before, somehow floated the ball over the keeper and into the far corner of the net for an unexpected but magnificent equaliser. Brinsthorpe lambasted the ref for the added time, and the award of the freekick, and the general...unfairness of it all, whilst Fanzines greeted the final whistle with an odd mixture of frustration, relief and annoyance. It all felt just a bit....unsatisfactory. But don't be fooled. Fanzines have played worse and won, and will do so again. In the context of the league season, this was another valuable point. The new rossoneri are proving difficult to beat.
Team: Broughton, Shaw, Brown D, Whittaker, Collinson, Greenwood, Remzi, Timpson, Heithus, Buxton (Jones), Gilbert (Gordon)
Subs Not Used: None
Goal: Remzi
''[[Total Reclaims Demolition]] (1) 1 v Fanzines United (1) 2''
EMPAL Divison One
9 December 2007
[img[Goal of the season?|http://photos-b.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sctm/v171/49/40/675480657/n675480657_488989_1650.jpg]]
Daybreak (yes, I saw it) heralded a damp and windy outlook and a step outside confirmed a biting chill in the air. Just the weather, then, for a visit to the always welcoming playing fields of Trent Embankment for a winner-goes-top clash against Total Reclaims Demolition.
TRD are a much changed and much improved side from the rather unsavoury version that we met in Division Two during 2005/6 and, for the second time this season, they were to provide us with a stern examination of our title credentials. The Gaffer’s pre-match team talk and line-up tinkering – Twiggy up front, Mark in centre-mid for the rested Jimbo and Jonesy keeping the shape on the right - seemed to do the trick as the away side started well. Dazzler fashioned himself a great opening but shot just over from fourteen yards when placement to either side may have been the better option while the first of many determined runs down the right by the same player saw G11 just fail to get a telling touch on a pull back from eight yards out. However, the deadlock was broken 20 minutes in when Dave's arse-blocked shot led to a corner which Twiggy delivered to perfection; a diving Adam doing a passable impression of Andy Gray’s winner for Everton against Notts at Meadow Lane in an FA Cup quarter-final many years back – you know, the one when he heads it in from an inch off the turf (the younger ones among you may wish to refer to an older relative at this point!).
Two more in-swingers from the same boot forced last ditch headers from TRD’s impressive number 17 while at the other end Kip had to get down smartly to smother a drive from the edge of the box. Ten minutes before the break, though, the home side switched off when facing a free-kick 25 yards out and a deft chip around the wall let in TRD’s number 7 for a fine finish across Kip and into the bottom corner. Frustration at the glitch on the pitch was mirrored off it, where Robertino’s cries of ‘I told you what was going to happen’ could be heard all the way to Wilford.
With honours even at half-time The Gaffer warned his charges of the need to match the desire of the home side while maintaining possession of the ball in key areas. This, he felt, would be enough to win the game and, as usual, he was proved right, but not before the home side had dominated possession for the opening half hour of the second period. That they did so without ever really threatening Kip’s goal is credit to those in front of him who harassed and closed and worked tirelessly, and in particular a back four who were as resolute as at any other time this season. At this level it’s the work you do off the ball which wins you games as much as what you do on it, and that single fact probably more than any other tells the tale as to why we sit proudly top of EMPAL Division One. We dug in and eventually played ourselves back into a game which otherwise would have been lost and, minutes after Daz’s shot on the turn was just too high, a ball to G11 at the far post was knocked back for Dave to hit the sweetest of first-time strikes with the outside of his right boot from 16 yards, beyond a helpless keeper and into the top corner. The Gaffer’s David Pleat dance was by all accounts more reserved than the previous week - he only got a few yards onto the pitch this time - a fact for which the scorer must have been grateful! Five minutes to go and the hatches were well and truly battened down with a determination that a lead which had been gained with such difficulty would not easily be lost.
The final whistle brought relief and acknowledgement to TRD that they emerged pointless from a game to which they had wholly contributed and from which they undoubtedly will feel they deserved a share of the spoils. However, the side which created the clearer chances on a day when there were very few took the spoils and that is fast becoming the story of the season. The Gaffer’s post match talk centred around his membership of the referees union and a warning that any future shows of dissention will result in fines for the guilty but at the final word there was no hiding his delight at the taking of three points from a fixture with such banana skin potential.
Team: Broughton, Shaw, Brown D, Whittaker, Collinson, Greenwood, Jones (Todino), Buxton, Heithus, Remzi, Gilbert
Sub Not Used: Timpson
Scorers: Collinson, Greenwood
''Fanzines United (1) 2 v [[West Bridgford Albion]] (1) 2''
EMPAL Div One
16 Dec 2007
Imagine my surprise nay shock when I arrived at Elms Park at 9.28am clutching shiny new gold keys and full of anticipation to be greeted not by Twiggy and Hallam 'doggin' in the car park or hordes of screaming kids but 3/4 of the West Bridgford Albion team. That seemed to set the tone for the rest of the morning as we played catch up thereafter. As the Fanzines squad slowly assembled and even more reluctantly put the goals up, the eternal pessimist in me feared the worst.
As the morning unfolded it continued to be a series of highs and lows. For if I was disappointed about pre-match preparations I was re-invigorated after a highly impressive warm-up. Fanzines lined up with one change from the previous week as Tino replaced the absent Dan Brown at left back. Gareth and the legendary Joe Doorly were named as substitutes along with Jimbo who due to work commitments was unable to make it at all.
The match started at brake neck pace and proved to be a real end to end affair. West Bridgford Albion's striker Tom Carey proved to be a constant threat with his aerial strength and forceful runs but for the most part Adam and Whitts marshalled him magnificently well. At the other end Twiggy and Daz started to get to grips with the opposition's willingness to over indulge at the back. In fact Fanzines appeared to be getting on top of the game when Twiggy had two clear runs on goal both of which were thwarted by the chain-smoking keeper. Shortly after this WBA took the lead from a corner. As the ball bounced in the box someone swung a boot and the ball nestled in the back of the net. Lucky bounce or not I'm unsure but it was another goal conceded from a corner. However, within a couple of minutes Fanzines drew level from that most regular of providers. After being awarded a free kick about 10 yards in WBA's half, Twiggy whipped in a quality cross that bypassed everyone lined up in the box and fell right at Whitts feet who dispatched it with aplomb.
Unfortunately the mayhem that ensued sums up all that is rotten about the beautiful game, for whether a foul was committed or not, the histrionics and lack of respect for the referee was appalling. As the half time whistle was blown it appeared that the entire West Bridgford Albion team continued to lambaste and harangue the ref throughout the whole interval.
Despite the best efforts to re-group and concentrate on bagging another 3 points and round the year off in style, unfortunately we got embroiled with the constant bickering and nagging that is symptomatic of WBA's play. So it was no surprise when we went 2-1 down, if a little bizarrely. Good work down the right flank saw a high swirling ball delivered to the far post. Time seemed to stand still as Kip and Captain Shaw waited for each other to react but instead the ball ended up in the back of the net as the smallest man forward got a touch on the ball.
Although, there was still at least half an hour to go (this can be verified by the arrival of a certain Mr Lowe) our play seemed to become panicky and chances were thwarted by a determined WBA defence. All looked lost after good chances were either repelled or squandered by the Fanzines attack. Kip still had to be alert and made a strong save to deny WBA a great chance on the break. Twiggy's trademark free kick was cleared off the line, whilst Daz failed to find the target when clean through, so the introduction of Gareth seemed inevitable to provide a fresh pair of legs. Once he had stopped trying to take on the entire Albion team, cracks appeared to be developing in the opposition defence. Shortly after Joe Doorly's introduction, the ball found its way over from the right via Ady Jones,Gaz, Mark and Doorly (you work out the assist) where it fell kindly to Tino who had continued his run and, like his brother-in-law, coolly finished at the far post. Quite what our left back was doing up there I have no idea but all those Tuesday night jogs to Rushcliffe have definitely payed off. Despite some very vocal protestations, the static WBA goalie could merely berate his even more static defenders and leave the poor ref alone for once, although that was probably the only decision that went unchallenged all game. About 8 minutes were left and the match ended all square, the spoils of war shared and another battle over.
So, one point rescued or two points lost? I'm not sure but I do know that you can all be proud of a record that contains just one league defeat at the halfway stage of the season. However, the pressure is becoming tougher every game as everyone wants to beat us and we might even have to improve on that record of a solitary defeat and three draws as we start again in the New Year. It's tough at the top but yet again Fanzines proved that we have the resilience and desire to fight till the end. Enjoy your Christmas break, be sensible and I am sure Santa will be kind to you all this year, and let's hope he manages to deliver the dummies and mardy pills to the right addresses in West Bridgford.
Seasons Greetings
The Gaffer (HO!HO!HO!)
Team: Broughton, Shaw, Todino, Whittaker, Collinson, Greenwood, Jones, Buxton, Heithus (Doorly), Remzi (Brown G), Gilbert
Sub Not Used: Timpson
Goals: Whittaker, Todino
''[[West Bridgford Albion]] (1) 1 v Fanzines United (3) 5''
EMPAL Div One
6 Jan 2008
Sometimes it all seems so simple. Fanzines launched themselves into this return league fixture against the EMPAL Cup holders with a start that was as crisp and bright as the January sunshine, and which left no doubt as to which of the two sides would be most likely to be battling for silverware come the end of the season. With a strong, confident squad at his disposal, The Gaffer's selection dilemmas continued with the return of Jimbo, the fit-again Gareth and the prodigal Stephen, whilst Robertino's recent impressive displays gave him the nod ahead of the returning Dan at left-back. A competitive game was expected, especially after the strongly contested match before Christmas, but Albion were strangely subdued from the start and were quickly punished for it.
Having enjoyed much of the possession in the opening five minutes, Fanzines took the lead from the first corner of the game as Twiggy's near post cross was flicked into the net by a combination of Whittaker and the covering defender. And from the next attack the lead was doubled, as Adam rose to win a header from a flighted free-kick and prod the ball back to Gaz who drilled it high into the net from the edge of the box. Two-nil, and the home side's defence was being run ragged by the endeavours of Daz and Gaz who hassled and harried, causing havoc and panic to spread through the back-line. Within twenty minutes it was three-nil as Gaz escaped a strong binding challenge from the sliding defender and, using the advantage provided by the impressive referee, unleashed a long range shot which was saved by the keeper and fell to the feet of the centre-half standing on the penalty spot who strangely decided to lash the ball into his own net, a decision he may subsequently have regretted, especially as the closing Daz was at least ten yards away at the time.
With such a comfortable lead so easily attained, Fanzines began to succomb to the tempatation to over commit and over indulge and, though chances were still created, WBA began to play themselves into the game by passing the ball around neatly, though mostly in a harmless fashion. Twiggy had a great finish ruled out for off-side, whilst Kip was forced to make a good save after a WBA defender sauntered the length of the field with the ball, seemingly oblivious to the inept attempts to challenge him by the men in white. Then, in the last minute of the half, Fanzines sloppily conceded when a dubiously awarded corner was quickly taken, resulting in the hastily organised defences being overloaded and breached for the first time.
A sobering wake-up call for the second 45, though a come back was never really on the cards. The home side seemed particularly out-of-sorts, whilst Fanzines' only regret at the end of the game would've been the number of clear-cut chances that went begging. The result was made absolutely safe mid-way through the period when a mix up at the back between keeper and defender allowed Dave to accept the invitation to pass the ball into the empty net, and allowed the Gaffer to introduce Dan and Stephen for Aidy and Daz. Steve wasted no time in re-introducing himself to the league, getting on the end of a number of through balls and linking well with his strike partner, but both forwards were guilty of missing good chances before Gaz's ridiculous attempt at a looooong range volley was scuffed to the feet of Connor who had time to turn and pass the ball into the corner of the net to complete the win.
A thoroughly impressive display in patches then, though the failure to consistently pick the easy pass is something that The Gaffer and Andy will be keen to address, and will at least give the dynamic duo something to moan about. Anyway, five wins and no defeats from the last seven league games is a pretty impressive run of results, though the ultimate tests are still to come, starting with next week's visit to the league champs. Welcome to the big time.
Team: Broughton, Shaw, Todino, Whittaker, Collinson, Greenwood, Jones (Brown D), Timpson, Heithus (Connor), Brown G, Remzi
Goals: Whittaker, Brown G, o.g., Greenwood, Connor
''[[Punjab Colts]] (0) 0 v Fanzines United (1) 1''
EMPAL Cup
3 Feb 2008
With the squad being pushed to its limits – Adam, G11, Mark, Jonesy and Dan making up the absent five-a-side dream team – the last thing The Gaffer’s heart needed was a late night text from Jimbo the Scamp informing him of another injury. Thankfully it proved to be an (alcohol induced?) jolly jape from the golden boy and Andy’s boots stayed in his car for at least another week. Phew. Praise be, then, to both Anthony and Haseley for answering the call and filling the substitutes berth, even more so as both were to go on and make vital contributions. A bright start saw the home side on the back foot and The Gaffer with a smile on his face (yes, it’s true, I saw it with my own eyes), happy that his charges had taken his pre-match instructions very much on board. Daz and Gareth had both gone close before the Dazzler looked up and sent a delightfully flighted ball to the far post to be met by the onrushing Stevo with a finish of the highest order, an unstoppable half volley back across the keeper and into the top corner. Ten minutes gone and it was like he’d never been away. Five minutes later, however, and the nature of the game was turned on its head with what, at first, seemed like an horrific injury to the goalscorer who lay prostrate and in agony after an innocuous-looking challenge. Fears of a broken leg were thankfully quickly alleyed and, after an on-the-spot diagnosis by Punjab’s doctor centre-half so, hopefully, was ligament damage. Stevo’s assertion that he’d ‘felt it pop’ led Doctor Andy (not his official title) to ponder on an ‘out and in’ knee cap dislocation. Fingers crossed that whatever damage is diagnosed, it is minimal. The injury certainly seemed to give the home side a lift while the visitors, not surprisingly, appeared to have half a mind elsewhere. Prompted by the excellent number 15 in centre-mid (a Central Midlands League semi-pro who’d come back from uni especially for the game I was informed by his onlooking father) they began to probe and force Fanzines back, although goalscoring opportunities remained at a premium and The Gaffer was rightly pleased when the referee blew the whistle with no change to the scoreline.
Colts had already shown they were capable of posing plenty of problems in the second 45 and when the wind decided to change direction and give them a helping hand it was all feet to the fore. And what a performance resulted. Kip’s handling was perfection, Whitts and Robertino were immoveable colossus while Rich and Joe (lest we forget, playing his first full 90 minutes for ten months) worked overtime to nullify the ever-present threat down both flanks, ably supported by awesome two-way play from both Twiggy and Anthony. Jimbo and Dave cannot have come across a more able opponent all season yet they snapped and harassed tirelessly to restrict while always looking composed whenever finding time on the ball. Up front and feeding off scraps for much of the time Dazzler, full of determination and unselfish running, and Gareth, always looking likely to settle the game with one bit of skill, were backed up by sheer hard work from Haseley in the last 20 minutes when the chasing down of everything made a big difference. And sitting watching it all the goalscorer supreme, in pain but cheered by the sheer team ethic unfolding in front of him, while beside him on the touchline stood The Gaffer, outwardly barking instructions to the last but inwardly glowing with pride. Heroes one and all. Colts may make much of the possession count but by the same token shots on target favoured the away team as did, most importantly, goals scored. However, that is to take nothing away from the Division Four front runners who on the evidence of this game are a very good side and a much welcome addition to EMPAL. Much credit to them, too, for the way they showed genuine concern for Stevo’s injury, both at the time and after the game. But the last word has to go to Fanzines and an outstanding team performance in very difficult circumstances, one of which every player should be proud and which will stay in this memory for a good while yet.
Team: Broughton, Shaw, Doorly, Whittaker, Todino, Greenwood, Connor (Morris), Timpson, Heithus, Brown G (Gordon), Remzi
Goal: Connor
Highfield Park Rangers (0) 2 Fanzines United (3) 5
EMPAL Div One
10 Feb 2008
A pleasant Sunday morning saw us back in League action, with a slight improvement in both playing conditions and changing facilities...I did say slight!!
Woody deputised for the absent Kip and despite our lengthy injury list the squad was boosted by the return of Dan and Ady Jones. The only other headache was the lack of a referee but thankfully Highfield Park Rangers came to the rescue at the eleventh hour.
A first half hat-trick by Gareth virtually sealed the victory against the division's bottom club without ever breaking into top gear. Sometimes it can be hard to raise your game against weaker teams, especially when The Brothers Grimm arrive hungover and Jimbo was unnaturally sober, but they soldiered on valiantly. Dave threaded some lovely throughballs whilst Daz was involved in some good link-up play, and was desperate to score, but luck was against him.
But instead of finishing the game off, Highfield got a goal back early in the 2nd half and suddenly they were back in it. Dan made a return to action replacing Joe after injury scares to Jimbo and Whitts. Not long after coming on he played a neat one-two with Twiggy before the HPR midfield and defence "parted like the Red Sea" (to quote Whitts) and his rocket shot whistled just over the crossbar. Thankfully two great moves down the right involving Haseley, Dazzler and Twiggy (who grabbed 2 goals) saw us home. Not before HPR netted a second from a corner when the smallest man on the pitch was allowed a free header from 5 yards.
We have nine League games left and there will no doubt be sterner tests to come before the season is done. So lets stay focused and be ready for another tough match against Notts Medics next Sunday.
Finally, it was good to see Adam and G11 on the sidelines and seemingly on the mend and with Stevo confident that his injury isn't as serious as it first appeared, we will have a full compliment to choose from at the crucial part of the season.
Team: Wood, Shaw, Doorly (Brown D), Whittaker, Todino, Greenwood, Jones, Timpson, Heithus, Brown G (Gordon), Remzi
Goals: Brown G 3, Remzi 2
Freeman & Mitchell 0 Fanzines 0
EMPAL Div One
24 Feb 2008
Woody made half a dozen good saves, we hit the post and missed a sitter and Rich Shaw almost scored the goal of his life. Otherwise Freeman and Mitchell looked like the team chasing the league title.
On the plus side I guess it was a valuable away point.
Thanks to all the subs for turning up especially those who didn't get on and to the spectators/injured players for their support.
Team: Wood, Shaw, Doorly (Brown D), Whittaker, Todino, Greenwood, Jones (Gilbert), Timpson, Heithus (Collinson), Brown G, Remzi
Fanzines United (0) 1 [[Highfield Park Rangers]] (0) 0
EMPAL Div One
9 Mar 2008
Running slightly late due to not getting in til 530am I was shocked to be greeted by 3 or 4 HPR's players and a brooding Fanzines Captain. All seemed confused by their surroundings.(I later found out that although I'd managed to promote myself into Jimbo's "Staying out til all hours the night before a match League", our Club Captain had done me by staying out all night!!)
The whole morning was a surreal affair in fact and these are the highlights:-
(WARNING. FOR ANYONE EXPECTING FOOTBALL, DO NOT READ ON)
Whitts to Gaffer "I'm not playing,it hurts,it's not worth risking it and I'm not stopping either I'm going home". Good morning to you to Chris.
Shawsy and Tino falling out of Twiggys car,singing dodgy rave toons like they were all on some 18 to 30 holiday. (Thats not a suggestion by the way.)
My fears about when to tell the squad 2 pieces of crucial information,firstly that we didn't have an official Ref and Speccy Lowe had graciously volunteered to do the honourable thing and secondly that next Sundays game has been changed to play Burton Joyce away....yippee.
Being asked to draw the EMPAL Cup Semi-Finals and proceeding to give us a nice easy home tie against 2nd Division opposition.Hang on a minute I've just remembered we lost our easy quarter-final home tie to 2nd Division opposition the previous Sunday.
Kip's pink, yes pink purse (which is now officially banned from all MENS dressing rooms throughout the County) and a home Dressing Room that resembled an episode of Holby City.There were requests for ankle supports, knee bandages,muscle rub and that was just Tino getting his gladatorial armour on.
Watching Dans warm -up I didn't know whether to laugh or cry as we have all the agility and enthusiasm of a group of patients at a nuthouse having their daily exercise,not a top of the table football team.
The man in black threatening me about the time,after already admonishing me over the state of his flags and next minute Ol' Grumpy Chops has declared himself fit to play.
A couple of tweaks (bad choice of words) to the starting X1 and we're off.
Haseley got clattered early on,a tackle which for all the Ref's tough talking about the state of the flags and KO times didn't feel that late challenges warranted particular warnings.Needless to say Hase manfully carried on til half-time which scuppered my plans as Twiggy had to leave early anyway to pose for more billboard advertisements but worse was to follow.After agreeing that Kip wouldn't take goal-kicks,either the walking wounded in front forgot he was there or Kip was just too brave a soldier to ask for some help. Guess what his thigh muscle tore again and although he carried on until the 25th minute, Super-Sub Goalie Dan Brown took over. A decision endorsed by Kip thus, when I told him who was going to take over he replied "Dan, no, he's rubbish" and they're supposed to be friends.
The only other memorable moments of the 1st Half were a couple of near misses from Twiggy and G11. Put simply HP Rangers played with more heart, fight and passion than us.
Stevo replaced Haseley and I tried to point out where we were going wrong but for the 3rd week running that spark or magic or confidence, whatever it is thats missing failed to re-appear.
We tried, I don't doubt that but the quality in our approach play was non-existent apart from one flowing passing move that lacked a finish.That said we did create several good chances and if Stevo's header had gone in with virtually his first touch,the game might have been panned out differently.However,we looked nervy and lacked composure in front of goal and in our desperation to score left ourselves open at the back.
Dan proved confident in goal and made a couple of terrific saves.A last throw of the dice saw Gareth replace Twiggy preventing Tevez from getting on the pitch yet again but still no goal.Then just as it looked like the game and our title aspirations were over we inexplicably scored with 5 seconds of injury time left on the watch. Tino got crunched on the halfway line and was left wailing on the ground like a girl whilst the ball was played forward eventually falling at G11's feet, who casually lobbed the keeper and it seemed as if the whole world stopped as the ball dropped under the bar and nestled in the preverbial "onion bag". Celebrations were somewhat muted due to the Ref's running war of words with the HP Rangers left back, Tino's dying soldier act and him getting carted off then suddenly re-appearing for the last 5 seconds and I'm afraid I was left totally bewildered by the unexpected victory.
Its been a tough season and unfortunately cracks are starting to appear and the dressing room afterwards resembled a Doctors Waiting Room.To their credit HP Rangers took the defeat on the chin,Andy left to see if baby Samuel had finished colouring in his red and yellow cards and just to cap it off their was no hot water.
Miraculously the walking wounded managed to re-group and seemingly sprout brand new limbs in time for the foods arrival in the pub afterwards.Luckily the locals managed to avoid the crush and I disappeared into the afternoon sunset on the hunt for a solution to our pending goalkeeping crisis.
[[Burton Joyce A]] (1) 5 Fanzines United (3) 3
EMPAL Div One
16 Mar 2008
[img[The calm before the shit-storm|http://photos-a.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sctm/v215/49/40/675480657/n675480657_697832_3864.jpg]]
It was a morning virtually identical to the previous seasons encounter only without the sleet and hopefully the woefully inept performance of that day. This time however,without a recognised goalkeeper and a re-vitalised Burton Joyce A, we were up against it from the start. The point in the season where our destiny would be determined and our progress judged.
There was no neutral referee and reluctant to do it myself I accepted the offer from the Burton Joyce A Manager to do the decent thing, especially as he stated "At least both teams are fair". Unfortunately the biggest mistake was that he apparently forgot to remind his team why he felt able to officiate.
We were under pressure from the kick off, particularly down the left wing and within minutes were 1-0 down to a well worked Burton Joyce A goal. But after a brief period of control, the home side proved to be just as fragile at the back as Joe surged forward to slip the ball inside to Gareth who drilled it into the corner for a welcome equaliser. It felt like the momentum had turned until, minutes later, Burton Joyce A were awarded a penalty, when what appeared to be a foul on Shawy was in fact penalised the other way round from fully 30 yards away. The Fanzines touchline froze but amazingly Dave marked his debut with a tremendous save low to his right, to keep us in the game. In fact that save proved to be the catalyst, as we powered on to be 3-1 up at half-time. Resolute defending and some neat attacking play saw a belter from Ady Jones and a neat finish from Jimbo turn the game around.
Time to catch our breath, re-group and focus on the inevitable onslaught that was the Second Half.
Burton Joyce A started brightly again but the defence and the goal stood firm with a bit of help of the goalpost on two occasions. Then Burton Joyce pulled one back from a speculative shot from outside the box that was deflected passed a helpless Dave. 2-3 with 20 minutes still to play. Stevo replaced Gaz up front but nothing would fall for us up there as Burton Joyce tightened their defence.
All I can say about the Burton Joyce A equaliser is that it was a blatant handball and not a diving header but the goal was given. In all my time connected with the club I have never seen any Fanzines players on the pitch or close to the incident more outraged by a single action from an opposing player, or left feeling such as strong sense of injustice.
Personally I felt helpless and ashamed. Helpless to stop them getting into trouble and ashamed with myself for not volunteering to referee the game in the first place.
Unfortunately we ended up losing 5-3. A brilliant save from Dave cruelly bounced off the post and hit someone and ended up in the back of the net. In the final seconds, a fifth was put in although the offside flag was raised but never followed up.
I am not afraid to lose a game of football but it was the manner of the defeat that hurts. I didn't really know how to react afterwards. I'm used to feeling angry or frustrated by poor performances or bemused by good ones that we lose, like earlier in the season against West End, but I just felt numb and the sanctuary of the dressing room offered little comfort as all I really wanted to do was smash something to pieces.
In summary the only explanation that I have to offer is this. Most of you will have forgotten that we actually won a trophy last season. Yes we are the current holders of the Divisional Sporting Team Award and when I handed these out at training we vowed then that we were fed up winning this award (that's the 3rd time that we have won it to date) and wanted to win something more meaningful. Well if that's what it takes to become Division 1 Champions then yesterday morning has made me realise that I would rather stick to the Sporting Team Award, especially if it means compromising our principles to become League Champions.
Final score.
Division 1 Champions 5 - Divisional Sporting Team 3
The Gaffer
Team: Cawthorn, Shaw, Doorly, Whittaker, Collinson, Todino (Greenwood), Jones (Morris), Timpson, Brown G (Connor), Remzi, Gilbert
Scorers: Brown G, Jones, Timpson
''Fanzines United 4 [[Radcliffe Olympic A]] 0''
EMPAL Div One
30 Mar 2008
[img[Boof!|http://photos-h.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v197/49/40/675480657/n675480657_739527_8809.jpg]]
We scored four goals, missed a few chances and had what seemed about 90% possession. They only had ten men but were well organised, defended with purpose and in numbers. Kip had two saves to make in the whole game. G11 doubled his tally for the season, the first a nifty back header from on the line. Josef D scored another of his one-a-season beauties. Andy’s hip went funny again while running the line. Dan Brown took some photos. Gaffer wasn’t happy but then was-ish. Woody sneaked a fag after Lisa had gone home. The downpour promised by the ref never arrived. You can only beat what’s put in front of you.
Team: Broughton, Shaw, Doorly, Collinson, Whittaker, Todino, Jones (Greenwood), Timpson, Brown G (Morris), Connor, Gilbert
Scorers: Gilbert x 2, Brown G, Doorly
''Fanzines United (0) 0 [[Nottingham Law School]] (2) 3''
EMPAL Div One
10th April 2008
A Thursday evening at Parc des Elms, and a case of men against boys. Unfortunately the Law School boys proved to be noticeably fitter, faster and stronger than the creaking man bones of Fanzines, particularly in the first half in which the home side were not only taken to the cleaners, but also neatly folded, wrapped in plastic, packed in boxes and carted away for storage.
Metaphorically.
Fresh from an EMPAL Cup semi-final victory, and still with a chance of claiming the league title themselves, the visitors powered forward at every opportunity, slicing through the Fanzines midfield and stretching the exposed back line to breaking point. Failing to stem the tide or impose any control on proceedings, the reds fell behind after a powerful shot was slammed beyond Woody's despairing dive, after a period of frenetic pressure. And a second soon followed as the pacy Law School winger turned the ruthlessly exposed Shawy inside out before cutting infield onto his right foot and screwing the ball inside the near post.
And whilst the organisation and communication levels slowly began to improve in the second half, as the light faded and the rains came, the Fanzines strikers were given no opportunities to trouble the keeper, with Gaz in particular doing most of his best work by working back to supplement his weary colleagues. In the gloaming a killer third goal was conceded as a low cross into the box fizzed between goalkeeper and defence, was left by all concerned, and was turned in at the far post.
Taking nothing away from the quality of the opposition, possibly the best side encountered this season, but at the end evening the manner of the Fanzines performance was almost as disappointing as the final result. With four games remaining, and maximum points a distinct requirement, the season hangs in the balance.
Team: Wood, Shaw, Doorly, Whittaker, Collinson, Todino (Morris), Remzi, Timpson (Greenwood), Brown G, Connor, Gilbert (Jones)
Sub Not Used: Gordon
''Fanzines United (1) 3 [[Notts Athletic]] (0) 0''
EMPAL Div One
13 April 2008
Well after the doom and gloom of last Thursday's horror showing against Nottm Law School, Sunday had all the makings of a typical Fanzines nightmare performance. Missing the midfield triumverate of G11, Jimbo and Adie Jones (sampling the delights of County Cork) and still without the injured Dazzler, we were down to the bare bones. Then news broke that Tino was injured/hungover and Whitts was suicidal, in fact I don't know who felt more miserable, me or him. Add to that a dazed and confused Kip, 3 days into fatherhood, and at least 16 players in the Notts Athletic squad, the omens didn't bode well. And I haven't even mentioned the state of Joe or Whitts' feet yet.
A last minute call to arms saw Dan Brown once more don the coveted Red & Black shirt for the 1st half only, which meant Joe Doorly pushing up to bolster the midfield and a rare start for young Tevez. Haseley agreed to be sub along with Woody.
The first half was an open affair and both teams played some decent football, although the more clear cut chances fell to Fanzines with one-on-one's with the keeper squandered by Gaz, Stevo and Twiggy (who managed to wrestle Shawys crown of the club's "most rubbish footballer" easily off his head). We did manage to produce some of our best approach play for a long time and the ball was moved around well by Tevez, Stevo and Gaz. The pressure eventually told and Gaz got on the scoresheet to take us in 1-0 up at the break.
Dan left for his tennis appointment, Haseley came on and Twiggy switched to left back!!!
The second half saw more of the same although we desperately needed a second goal to kill Notts Athletic off once and for all. We kept going and thanks to Haseley's tenacity he managed a brace to cap off a satisfactory morning. The second half will be remembered for Tevez's shoulder injury and the emergence of a new star on the left wing. Woody took over from Kip in goal (much to the castigation of the opposition and the horror of the Fanzines backline) and Kip embarked on his new career. It proved to be extremely entertaining, well for everyone else anyway.
Basically we won 3-0, we played some decent football and created plenty of chances, all with a smile on our faces. Twiggy did well at left-back and passed the crown back to Shawsy. Joe Doorly survived in midfield and Whitts actually smiled. All in all it was a pleasant way to spend a Sunday morning and we secured another 3 points in our quest to win the league title.
Thanks to everyone for their effort,attitude and for restoring the pride and enjoyment back into our football.
The Gaffer
Team: Broughton, Shaw, Brown D (Gordon), Whittaker, Collinson, Greenwood, Morris (Wood), Doorly, Brown G, Connor, Remzi
Goals: Brown G, Gordon 2
''[[Notts Medics A|Nottingham Medics]] (0) 0 Fanzines United (0) 2''
EMPAL Div One
16 April 2008
With a third game in six days and the finish line almost in sight, this was where the marathon became a sprint. Such was the tempo at which Medics launched themselves into the game this evening that Fanzines were in danger of being left behind, finally blown out of the title race by the younger, motivated opposition. That the visitors to the salubrious Forest Rec managed to resist the early onslaught and prevent the goal from being breached speaks volumes for the organisation and commitment that has been instilled over many seasons of hard work. The match, the season, seemed to hinge on withstanding the first-half storm. This was a real test. If we could come away from here with a win, then christ!, we fuckin' deserved to win the title.
But it was tight, and at times the reds were seemingly clinging on, hoping for respite, as Medics attacked with a pace and intensity rarely encountered at this level. But not for nothing do Fanzines boast the best defensive record in the league, working cohesively to limit the time and space afforded to the home side, who found themselves restricted to half-chances and snap shots.
And though Medics clipped the bar with a shot from wide early in the second half, Fanzines responded by forcing a series of corners and seeing one header thud against the woodwork and another scuffed off the line. Legs were clearly tiring and mistakes were inevitable on the rutted pitch, with wind and gloom both increasing in intensity. The first goal would prove to be crucial, and it fell to Fanzines when Jonesy's whipped corner to the near post was clutched at by the keeper, and Haseley, with some old-school forward play, delivered the final blow.
With play becoming increasingly stretched, and the frenzy of the Medics attacks on the verge of spilling out of control, Fanzines delivered the sucker punch to clinch the points and soothe the nerves of The Gaffer and Justin, as G11 drilled a free-kick into the box from midway on the left and Adam rose to win yet another header which flew into the bottom corner of the net, to roars of delight and relief. Refusing to accept defeat, Medics pressed on but to no avail. A lesser side would have been ripped apart by the level of their performance in this game, and each and every one of the Fanzines players should take huge credit from the resilience, tenancity and teamwork that they showed to ensure that the season is still very much alive.
Not for the first time, I'm proud to be part of this team.
Wood, Shaw, Doorly, Whittaker, Collinson, Greenwood, Jones, Todino (Timpson), Gordon (Brown G), Connor, Remzi (Gilbert)
Sub Not Used: Heithus
Goals: Gordon, Collinson
''Fanzines United (1) 3 [[Brinsthorpe Rangers]] (0) 0''
EMPAL Div One
20 April 2008
[img[Maintaining the pressure|http://photos-a.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v236/49/40/675480657/n675480657_776080_6520.jpg]]
Of course, what we remember are the cold, hard facts. The mechanics of it all. The highlights are recited, the numbers are combined and the story is told. This becomes the reality. For how else could it be explained? We describe the goals scored as if that would help. The near post header by the skipper from Adie's corner at the end of the first half that finally broke the deadlock. The killer second goal, a tap-in for Adam following a quick break and cross by Stephen, and a return of the favour in the last ten minutes to allow Ste to finally break his goal hoodoo. We even mention the stunning low save by Kip to preserve the lead when there was still just a single goal between the sides. But what does that really tell you?
It does not explain how games are won or lost. It does not explain who these people are, and why they should care about something that means so little. It does not explain the motivation required to put all other things, life, aside and dedicate time and effort, week after week, for a common cause. Or what makes someone try so hard for such little reward. What makes a player, in that moment, run so hard to close the space? To chase the man who has broken through? Why does he fling himself into challenges? Why does he persevere when his body is on the verge of letting him down? When his own failings, his inability to pass the ball where intended, to win the headers, to convert the chances, are exposed so ruthlessly? When the opposition may be fitter, stronger and more technically adept?
Let's not forget that this is basically the same bunch of players that 4-5 years ago were languishing in the second division, happy to be second best because there was no alternative, playing for laughs though they were often hard to find. The butt of jokes. An inconsequence. These players have not suddenly discovered latent skills that have transformed them into superstars. They're still as rubbish as they always were. So something must have changed. Either the standard of the league has conveniently slipped or these players, these rubbish laughable players, through hard work and organisation, through dedication and commitment, through intelligence and maturity, these players have become a team. And this team stands one win away from the EMPAL First Division title.
Don't let anyone tell you that it is not deserved.
Broughton, Shaw, Doorly, Whittaker, Collinson, Greenwood, Jones, Todino, Gordon (Brown G), Connor, Remzi (Gilbert)
Sub Not Used: Heithus
Goals: Whittaker, Collinson, Connor
Fanzines 1 Freeman & Mitchell 3
EMPAL Div One
27 Apr 2008
Woe!
''@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;[[Season 2007-08|2007-08]] EMPAL Division 1@@''
| !Date | !Competition | !Opposition | !Score | !Result | !H/A | !Venue | !Scorers |
| 14/09/07 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Burton Joyce A]] | 3-3 | D | H | [[Elms Park]] |Connor 2, Heithus |
Fanzines United 3 v Burton Joyce A 3
EMPAL Div One
14 Sep 2008
So then Fanzines, what are you made of? I mean, what are you really made of? Was last season a flash in the pan or do you truly have what it takes to maintain a challenge for honours in what now must rate as one of the toughest leagues in Nottinghamshire Sunday Morning Football? Well, I offer no better barometer than an opening game against last season’s league champions and County Cup winners, Burton Joyce FC…
With The Gaffer on duty at Trent Bridge it was over to Andy to marshall the belief in a dressing room deprived of both The Kaiser and G11. While their omission may have been keenly felt on the team sheet, games, as we well know, are not won on paper and with 14 names eager to make one for themselves confidence remained bullish if not a little circumspect.
Gaffer’s pre-selected eleven saw Daz get the nod up front ahead of Gareth, whose ‘Lineker toe’ continued to provide cause for concern. Dan began his life in the Fanzines fold alongside him on the bench where they were joined by Antony, unfortunate after being denied the chance to strut his stuff following last week’s cancellation against Brinsthorpe.
Andy Shaw lined up on the left of a supporting two behind the Dazzler for his competitive Fanzines debut and Tino slotted in alongside his brother–in-law at centre-back (with a proud sister/wife/expectant mother running the rule on the touchline), otherwise the starting eleven had a familiar look about it. What was less than familiar was the conceding of a goal to a set piece three minutes in, as everyone talked about picking up the runner to the back post but nobody did, leaving Kip helpless as the ball was headed back across goal and in. Stung and surprised, Elvis then briefly threatened to leave the building. Kip produced a wonder save away to his left before Dan’s correct flagging for offside against a BJ encroacher from a free-kick was deemed by the referee to be interfering with play after a conversation between the two, a decision which left Dan copping for some unnecessary abuse from the watching BJ officials who appeared wantonly oblivious to the fact that it was the man in the middle who had disallowed the effort.
Desperately needing a break the home side got one 20 minutes in as Stevo’s volleyed cross come shot was misjudged by the keeper under challenge from Andy Shaw and dropped in to the net. A tight fifteen minutes or so then followed with both sides showing each other much respect before BJ regained the ascendancy and the lead, a swift move and great skill on the touchline saw the ball fed to the onrushing Allison whose finish was typically decisive. Holding on until half-time at 2-1 was to prove crucial as an air of positivity around the teamtalk saw an invigorated Fanzines go at their opponents from the restart with gusto, so much in fact that it was no surprise when the equaliser came. Jimbo’s excellent through ball fed Stevo down the middle, just where he likes it, and the finish was vintage Connor, the ball lifted over the advancing keeper and into the net with the aplomb of old. 2-2 and a game which was very much on was turned completely on its head five minutes later as Andy Shaw’s tenacity down the left saw Stevo head back to Dazzler, the bustling front man holding off his marker to turn and fire into the corner of the net for a richly deserved goal. Confidence duly raised the red and black continued to trade blows, almost literally in Jimbo’s case as the self-styled midfielder ‘enforcer’ picked up a rare Fanzines booking for a full-blooded challenge. Much more of that young man and our ‘Most Sporting team’ title will be in danger! (btw Dave, what happened to those trophies?!). Kip received a nasty cut under the eye from a challenge which the touchline-bound BJ hordes were adamant ‘didn’t touch him’ but if it was meant to put him off his game it failed as Kip the Custodian continued to command his area with confidence. Bu then, a sucker punch. As the clock ticked round to the final ten minutes and we dared to dream, the irrepressible Allison chased what seemed a lost cause down field and kept the ball in play before picking out a supporting team mate to fire in off the far post. The BJ battle cry was all to go on and win the game but the home side were not going to let their huge second half effort be in vain and it was the Dazzler who came closest to a deciding strike with a left foot shot dragged wide after a surging run down the flank which belied his age, waistline and time left on the watch. The final whistle brought congratulations on an entertaining contest and handshakes all round, which is how it should be. Comments on the BJ website suggest they feel as though they deserved all three points, but then they would, wouldn’t they? I am of the opinion that we deserved one, and that’s just what we got. A point proved.
Team: Broughton, Shaw R, Doorly, Whittaker, Todino, Greenwood, Jones (Wray, 76), Timpson, Connor (Brown, 84), Heithus, Shaw A
Scorers: Connor x 2, Heithus
Fanzines United (0) 0 West End (0) 1
EMPAL Div One
28 Sep 2008
[img[Another morning tussle|http://lh6.ggpht.com/imsodave/SPYO3M-vKfI/AAAAAAAABSA/6uhCpdPJTqU/s576/DSC03867.JPG]]
Ah, another tussle with the decorated EMPAL legends of West End. Just the thought of it is enough to put a lump in my pants. And not the good kind. For recent experience tells us that these games are always tough, unforgiving affairs in which Fanzines have periods of dominance but ultimately are left frustrated and spent. And this most recent encounter proved to be no different. With the beardy leader making a rare appearance at the helm, a reshuffle allowed for the reincorporation of Das Kaiser Collinson, with the emphasis for the midfield selection seemingly on workrate and strength rather than flair and creativity. Resistance and persistance was the name of the game, and that's how it unfolded in a first half of much huffing and puffing but very few blows. Uncharacteristically, Fanzines were actually getting numbers in the box when going forward but too often the final ball was a disappointment, whilst the visitor's best chances were coming from occassional lapses in concentration and composure from the home side, a header over the bar from six yards was a particularly glaring escape. Mostly though, this was a tight game between two competitive well-matched teams played at a high tempo. And maybe Fanzines were guilty of failing to increase the pressure on the opposition for it was only when the deadlock was broken, fifteen minutes into the second half, that they started to drive forward with pace and passion.
The goal itself was something of a disappointment, as the West End central midfielder was first to react to the mis-clearance from a corner on the right and cracked the ball into the net off the far post. Stung into action, the red & blacks attempted to storm back, enjoying a degree of possession but the much-needed creative spark was constantly extinguished by the pressing and hounding of the West End defence. As is often the case, the best chances came from corners, with a number of narrow misses raising the frustrations and, when Stephen hooked a tight chance wide having been slid into a scoring position, the writing was on the wall.
"Maybe next time", it said. "Losers".
I must stop doing that.
Team: Broughton, R.Shaw, Doorly, Whittaker, Collinson, A.Shaw, Greenwood (Jones), Timpson, Heithus (Brown), Connor, Todino
Sub Not Used: Morris
Linford Nelson (1) 3 Fanzines United (1) 2
EMPAL Div One
5 Oct 2008
A match, a defeat, as painful to recall as it was to experience. Conditions, circumstance and attitudes conspired to concoct possibly the most inept performance since Fanzines' return to the top division in 2006. And whilst the absence of the management duo (collectively otherwise engaged for the first time in four years) and last-minute drop-outs from an already threadbare squad did not help the cause, blame should be laid squarely on the shoulders of each of the remaining team members, for it was they who let down both themselves and their absent team mates through their own sub-standard performances.
The wet morning's downpour on an already soggy pitch had lessened somewhat by kick-off but conditions were still sufficiently ropey for the home side to offer to cancel the game, a gesture that was turned down on the basis that in the twelve available players it was felt was enough strength to beat almost any side in the league. As it turned out, that belief wasn't too far from the mark, as the opening exchanges illustrated, but Linford turned out to be not just any side, rather a side that very much played to their strengths and used the conditions, and the incredibly narrow pitch, to their advantage.
Where Fanzines attempted to pass their way through and around the opposition, but lacked the space and composure to do so, the home side continually chose to simply launch the ball into the spaces behind the Fanzines back four for their pacey strikers to latch onto. It was a tactic as basic as it was effective, and one which Fanzines never got to grips with. Linford had spurned a number of chances before the away side, somewhat against the run of play, took the lead when Daz's shot was palmed by the keeper and knocked home by the lingering Whitts. But Fanzines failed to maintain that lead till half-time when, having been gifted a throw-in level with the penalty box, the pugnacious skipper managed to get his head to the long delivery and guide the ball into the net for an equaliser.
Recognising the extent of the problem, Fanzines attempted to reorganise during the break, narrowing the midfield and pushing an extra man up front, but such a move depends on the discipline and commitment of those involved, two things that were clearly absent. Within minutes of the restart Linford took the lead when a long ball from the back caused confusion between retreating defender and advancing keeper and was ultimately collected and dispatched by the forward on the Fanzines penalty spot. Still reeling, a third came from a mistake on the right, gifting the ball to the opposition who swiftly exploited the lack of cover to extend the lead.
Changes were made again and some order was established, and the effort of some increased, but there was no real cohesion or belief. Fanzines pulled one back in the last minute as Daz's ball across the box was knocked in by the impressive Lewis, but it was about as much as the visitors deserved. To play so badly and still only lose by one goal is possibly cause for optimism, but it's clear that there is work to be done to prevent such a lax performance reoccurring. It is to be hoped that this game will prove to be a low point of the Fanzines season, for few who witnessed it will wish to experience such a limp and lacklustre Sunday morning ever again.
Team: Broughton, Todino (Bradley), Doorly, Whittaker, Collinson, Greenwood, Connor, Jones, Heithus, Morris, Brown
Goals: Whittaker, Bradley
Type the text for 'New Tiddler'
''1996 - ?? & 2005 - current''
(Centre Half)
Squad Number: ''6''
[>img[Adam Collinson|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/6%20adam%20collinson.JPG]]
“I’ve got a mate who might fancy playing. Not sure how good he is but he looks OK at five-a-side” said [[Pete Southby]] one day. Adam joined the club in December 1996 and went on to average over two goals a game as we won the Second Division Championship. On a good scale of 1-10 Adam got a 9.
Returned to the club following a faultless display in the Old Boys game in 2005, and proceeded to guide the team to promotion and first division security. Sliding further back into a peerless centre-half role, the Kaiser was [[player of the year|Ian Swanton Trophy]] in 2007, and his amazing stabilising presence is invaluable, especially to [[The Gaffer's|Paul Harrison]] dicky ticker.
| !Season | !Apps | !Goals |
| [[2005-06]] | 22 | 12 |
| [[2006-07]] | 22 | 3 |
| [[2007-08]] | 21 | 6 |
'' 2001-02 & 2004 - present''
(Midfield)
Squad Number: ''7''
[>img[Jonesy|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/7%20adrian%20jones.JPG]]
Tickets, anyone got any tickets. Buy and sell. Anyone got any spares. Buy and sell.
| !Season | !Apps | !Goals |
| [[2001-02]] | 10 | 1 |
| [[2002-03]] | 20 | 1 |
| [[2003-04]] | 21 | 0 |
| [[2004-05]] | 17 | 0 |
| [[2005-06]] | 20 | 1 |
| [[2006-07]] | 23 | 0 |
| [[2007-08]] | 19 | 1 |
[>img[Aidy Black|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/legends_adi%20black.JPG]]
If all was quiet and serene out on the pitch you could always rely on big Aidy Black to stir things up - usually with his own team mates. Has the dubious honour of being the first ever Fanzines United player to be sent off, unsurprisingly for swearing at a referee. Off the pitch a gentle giant, on it anything but.
Brother of [[The Gaffer|Paul Harrison]], he rather greedily snapped up the brains AND the ability when the great man upstairs was handing them out to the Harrison household. A career curtailed by [Injuries|injury], but not before he’d donned the boots in anger one last time to help the team to a backs-to-the-wall 1-0 victory over [[Notts Athletic]] including, in true Roy of the Rovers fashion, a last minute penalty save. Not that it ever was a penalty in the first place you understand…
Scene of our greatest triumph, a 4-2 win over [[Bilborough FC]] which clinched the EMPAL Second Division title in 1997. And we did it without losing a game, that’s undefeated. Match that if you can Arsenal (oh, they did).
Went through a period of only winning a handful of times there since, before an upturn in fortunes saw a string of victories, particularly over former nemesis [[Notts Athletic]].
Dreadlocks
As modelled by Andy Field with some style in the mid-nineties. They grew and reached dangerously near to the infamous Field backside before Andy decided to fill a few cushions and had them cut off. Much like Samson he was never the same player again.
''1990 - present''
(Assistant Manager/Manager/emergency-right-back/Legend)
[>img[Andy The Manager|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/00a%20andy%20lowe.JPG]]
The heart and soul of the club for more than seventeen years and honestly able to say that he’s never regretted for one moment that conversation he had with [[Jim Cooke]] in [[Selectadisc]] all those years ago. Highlights of a long and illustrious career include captaining the side to it’s first ever piece of silverware, scoring with a near post header and having two young scamps hum the tune to ‘Letter from America’ by The Proclaimers as he prepared to take a throw in at [[Grove Farm]] one morning when playing in his [[glasses|spectacles]]. The arrival of young Samuel has given fresh impetus to his latest fitness drive as the tantalising prospect of lining up alongside his son in the claret and amber beckons. Ever the sentimentalist, if pushed to name his favourite-ever Fanzines player, would have to go for his [[brother|Fred Lowe]] with whom he enjoyed many cross-pitch verbal battles during the mid-nineties, back in the days when the Lowe’s were a full-back pairing which struck fear into the heart of many a marauding [[EMPAL]] winger.
[img[Lowey|http://photos-657.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v191/49/40/675480657/n675480657_610215_303.jpg]]
''2008 - present''
(Midfield/Forward)
[>img[Andy Shaw|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/2008%2014%20andy%20shaw.JPG]] Hewn from the fires of Eldhrímnir, bestriding the field like Hermóðr himself, he is so alert that he requires no sleep at all. He can hear the grass grow and see to the end of the world; he can hear a leaf fall.His naked arms illuminate the air and sea. He is best, and all praise him; he is so fair of feature, and so bright, that light shines from him. He is the wisest and the fairest-spoken and most gracious. He dispenses justice to those who seek it. Ex-[[Notts Athletic]].
| !Season | !Apps | !Goals |
| [[2008-09]] | | |
[<img[Andy Shaw|http://photos-657.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v362/49/40/675480657/n675480657_1303983_67.jpg]]
The only father and son combination to ever don the Fanzines United jersey - don’t worry ,we gave them one each. Andy dabbled as a resolute defensive midfielder and full back before acting as back-up goalkeeper while young Gareth was a wizard of the dribble on the wing, if a little out of place in nappy and matching bonnet.
[>img[Tevez|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/19%20Antony%20Morris.jpg]]
| !Season | !Apps | !Goals |
| [[2007-08]] | 7 | 0 |
Based on the available scraps of paper, these are the collated stats for appearances and goals for everyone who has appeared for [[Fanzines United]] from the season [[2001-02]] onwards.
|!Name|!Apps|!Goals|
|[[Chris Whittaker]]| 124 | 20 |
|[[Adrian Jones]]| 121 | 3 |
|[[Lyndon Cowlard]]| 112 | 2 |
|[[Graham Gilbert]]| 110 | 61 |
|[[Dave Greenwood]]| 96 | 15 |
|[[Garry Smith]]| 95 | 44 |
|[[Fred Lowe]]| 92 | 0 |
|[[Neil Remzi]]| 87 | 28 |
|[[Kip Broughton]]| 79 | 0 |
|[[Paul Ravenscroft]]| 78 | 3 |
|[[Haseley Gordon]]| 67 | 28 |
|[[Darren Heithus]]| 66 | 41 |
|[[Rich Shaw]]| 62 | 1 |
|[[James Timpson]]| 61 | 4 |
|[[Adam Collinson]]| 56 | 19 |
|[[Duncan Richmond]]| 56 | 13 |
|[[Dan Brown]]| 54 | 9 |
|[[Ian Cairney]]| 52 | 11 |
|[[Stephen Connor]]| 48 | 55 |
|[[Mark Fairholme]]| 46 | 0 |
|[[Joe Doorly]]| 45 | 4 |
|[[Gareth Sowerbutts]]| 43 | 2 |
|[[Courtney Nangle]]| 38 | 2 |
|[[Rob Morton]]| 35 | 2 |
|[[Martin Rainbow]]| 33 | 7 |
|[[Paul Hodgkinson]]| 28 | 2 |
|[[Simon Skerritt]]| 23 | 5 |
|[[Stuart Gadsby]]| 22 | 0 |
|[[Mark Clements]]| 21 | 1 |
|[[John Salsbury]]| 18 | 1 |
|[[Jonsy Biernat]]| 15 | 0 |
|[[Chris Ward]]| 14 | 0 |
|[[Robin Pounder]]| 14 | 0 |
|[[Graham Parker]]| 13 | 2 |
|[[Gareth Brown]]| 12 | 6 |
|[[Robertino Todino]]| 11 | 1 |
|[[Matt Derwent]]| 11 | 1 |
|[[Paul Hallam]]| 11 | 1 |
|[[Mark Buxton]]| 10 | 1 |
|[[John Wood]]| 9 | 0 |
|[[Andy Burnett]]| 7 | 1 |
|[[Andy Lowe]]| 5 | 0 |
|[[Darren Hayes]]| 4 | 0 |
|[[Ben Smith]]| 3 | 0 |
|[[Chris Bowron]]| 3 | 0 |
|[[Marlon Goldson]]| 3 | 0 |
|[[Antony Morris]]| 3 | 0 |
|[[Dave Atherley]]| 2 | 0 |
[img[Ardley Badge|http://www.webteams.co.uk/ardleyathleticfc/images/ardleyathleticfc_img4.jpg]]
''Home Ground:'' [[Victoria Embankment]]
''Colours:'' Grey and Green
''Team Website:'' http://www.webteams.co.uk/Home.aspx?team=ardleyathleticfc
The team responsible for handing out the club’s [[record defeat|Club Records]], a 16-0 drubbing on a damp, grey February morning at [[Highfields]] on University Boulevard in 2001. The clubs then-manger had gone on holiday to Spain without telling anyone except the two players he’d taken with him and we struggled to field a not-very-good 10 men, including [[Charlie Lee]] who got out of bed to answer an SOS call and make his first appearance for nearly two seasons. Needless to say he’s now ex-directory and hasn’t been seen on a Sunday morning since.
06 Mar 2005 - EMPAL Div Two - Ardley Athletic (2) 4 Fanzines United (0) 0
17 Apr 2005 - EMPAL Div Two - Fanzines United (0) 2 Ardley Athletic (1) 1 - Gilbert 2
22 Jan 2006 - EMPAL Div Two - Ardley Athletic (1) 1 Fanzines United (1) 2 - Own Goal, Cowlard
12 Mar 2006 - EMPAL Div Two - Fanzines United (2) 3 Ardley Athletic (0) 0 - Smith 2, Remzi
[img[Ardley Team|http://www.webteams.co.uk/ardleyathleticfc/images/ardleyathleticfc_img3.jpg]]
Purveyors of fine fashion garments and suppliers of retro footie shirts to the discerning fan back in the early nineties. Brianchild of local entrepreneur extraordinaire and Fanzines original number one, [[Tony ‘The Cat’ Mack|Tony Mack]]. Provided the club with its first ‘proper’ [[kit|Club Kits]] - a very natty blue and black Inter Milan number chosen after [[The Pie]] members of the side refused to wear anything with red in it - which promptly shrunk.
[>img[Ben Smith|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/legends_ben%20smith.JPG]] Oik of the first order, it’s rumoured he was the model for the artful dodger in Oliver Twist. Looks no older than 14 but is in fact 48. Always with a roll up to hand, the contents of which remain a secret between him and his rizzlas. Thankfully, never drug tested while appearing in a [[Fanzines United]] shirt. Renowned for the power of his rocket shot, unfortunately not for its accuracy. Still struggling to grow facial hair worthy of the description. Lovely bloke.
Former high-flyers, Benfica were on the verge of falling on hard times before merging with [[Butler United]] to become [[Butler Benfica]] in 2006.
Benfica are the only team from whom [[Fanzines|Fanzines United]] have transferred a player, wisely spending a crisp fiver for the services of [[Paul Ravenscroft]] in 2003.
Beat us 7-1 in the [[Notts Friendly League Senior Cup Final|Cup Finals|]] in 1994. They had a lad playing up front who we’d never seen before who they took off after he’d netted his fourth goal a couple of minutes after the half-time break. We were later told he’d had trials with Aston Villa and was due to go to Mansfield Town on apprentice forms. Although it proves that some will stop at nothing to land a pot it did help us feel slightly better about the result.
Properly known as Bridge Fields, situated opposite the co-op in West Bridgford. Home ground of [[Fanzines United]] for two seasons before moving to [[Gresham]] and one still remembered with much fondness by those who played there. A rutted and doggy poo covered playing surface with a 1/10 slope in one corner, changing rooms across the car park which had ice on the inside of the windows in the Winter and showers that never worked. Ah, memories.
''Home Ground: [[Hall Park]]
Colours: Yellow and Green
Team Website: http://www.freewebs.com/rangersreview/''
Pipped us to the Division Two title in 2006.
[img[Brinsthorpe|http://www.freewebs.com/rangersreview/TEAM2-large.jpg]]
Whatever we did to them, it made them really angry.
14 Nov 2004 - EMPAL Div Two - Brooks Villa 1 Fanzines United 2 - Smith, Gilbert
23 Jan 2005 - EMPAL Div Two - Fanzines United 7 Brooks Villa 1 - Gilbert 2, Smith 2, Ravenscroft, Whittaker, Brown D
29 Jan 2006 - EMPAL Div Two - Brooks Villa (1) 1 Fanzines United (1) 2 - Smith, Heithus
12 Feb 2006 - EMPAL Div Two - Fanzines United (1) 2 Brooks Villa (0) 1 - Collinson 2
''Home Ground:'' Burton Joyce
''Colours:'' Yellow and Blue
''Team Website: http://burtonjoycefcsundays.intheteam.com/''
''Directions:''
Follow the A612 Southwell Road into Burton Joyce - at the first main crossroads in the village turn right (hairdresser on the corner) into Station Road - go over the railway crossing and you will see the Poplars Sports Ground on your right behind the grassy bank.
''Previous Meetings:''
17 Sep 2006 - EMPAL Div One - Fanzines Utd (0) 0 Burton Joyce A (2) 4
18 Mar 2007 - EMPAL Div One - Burton Joyce A (2) 3 v Fanzines United (0) 0
16 Sep 2007 - EMPAL Div One - Fanzines United (1) 1 v Burton Joyce A (0) 0 - Brown G
[img[Burton|http://burtonjoycefcsundays.intheteam.com/site/images/10561/clubhouse%5B1%5D.jpg]]
''Home Ground:'' [[Cropwell Butler]]
''Colours:'' Red and Black
''Team Website: http://www.benficafc.co.uk/''
Fused from the almagamated remnants of [[Butler United]] and [[Benfica]]. Home games are played on the rustic cow-field at Cropwell Butler, with the most amusing changing facilities of any team in the league.
Provided a retirement home to [[Goals|Garry Smith]], [[Duncan|Duncan Richmond]] and [[Lyndon|Lyndon Cowlard]].
[>img[Charlie Lee|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/legends_charlie%20lee.JPG]]
Surely the fattest player ever to pull/lever himself into a [[Fanzines United]] jersey. Formed a dominant partnership with [[Pete Southby]] during the mid-nineties when Charlie's high pitched cry of “Great ball” followed many an aimless fifty yard punt upfield. Such a philosophy once enabled him to score from within his own half, the only thing that he and David Beckham can ever be said to have in common. Also fondly remembered for his battle cry of “Come on lads, we can still do this” after we netted in the 1994 NFFL [[Cup Final|Cup Finals]], a goal that reduced our deficit to ‘just’ six.
''Home Ground:'' [[Cropwell Butler]]
''Colours:'' Light Blue
''Team Website: ''
03 Oct 2004 - EMPAL Div Two - Chequers 1 Fanzines United 3 - Gilbert 2, Richmond
09 Jan 2005 - EMPAL Div Two - Fanzines United 1 Chequers 1 - Gilbert
16 Oct 2005 - EMPAL Div Two - Fanzines United (1) 1 Chequers (0) 1 - Gilbert
27 Nov 2005 - EMPAL Div Two - Chequers (0) 2 Fanzines United (2) 3 - Connor, Shaw, Collinson
Prowled the midfield during the early 00’s like a hungry tiger deprived of food for a fortnight, kicking his opponents far more than he ever did the ball. Such potential could not be allowed to go to waste in the [[EMPAL]] wasteland, however, and with the onset of Bosman a move abroad beckoned. Later to be found plying his trade on the Belgian non-league scene, sadly/amazingly being paid hard cash for maiming our European cousins.
''2000 - present''
(Defence/Midfield)
Squad Number: ''4''
[>img[Whitts|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/4%20chris%20whittaker.JPG]] Possessing the hair and boots of a dishevelled Conference player (fallen on hard times) Whitts has more ability in his little finger than the rest of the team put together but, unfortunately for him and us, football is played with feet and not hands so he’s forced to hack around in the mud like the rest of us. Visibly loves every minute of every game. A joy to behold. When people see Whitts playing football they think of all the good in the world and they cry at their own inadequacies. Wins headers.
| !Season | !Apps | !Goals |
| [[2001-02]] | 19 | 1 |
| [[2002-03]] | 15 | 2 |
| [[2003-04]] | 22 | 3 |
| [[2004-05]] | 20 | 6 |
| [[2005-06]] | 16 | 1 |
| [[2006-07]] | 20 | 5 |
| [[2007-08]] | 24 | 3 |
Home to the studious legal kids, with their vast pools of playing talent. The pitch is usually shocking.
Fanzines United
Ruddington fields
[[Elms Park]]
Ruddington
Nottingham
''Club Contacts''
Manager - [[Paul Harrison]]
Home phone: 0115 9810673
Mobile: 07870 506403
Assistant Manager - [[Andy Lowe]]
Home phone: 0115 9814937
Mobile: 07976 705302
Club Captain - [[Chris Whittaker]]
Mobile: 07973 697615
Club Vice Captain - [[Rich Shaw]]
Mobile: 07810 328246
Club Secretary - [[Dave Greenwood]]
Mobile: 07720 773568
@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:18pt;Fanzines United?@@
//[[1990|1990-91]] seems a long time ago now. Forest were playing in the top flight of English football and in the middle of six trips to Wembley in four years while Notts were about to embark on an heroic run to the FA Cup quarter-final where only a piece of Gazza magic (not to mention an errant elbow) at White Hart Lane denied them a place in the last four. All of these magical football moments were surpassed, however, when supporters from either side of the Trent were united in their wish to get together and form a Sunday morning football team.
@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;[[Fanzines United]] founder member [[Jim Cooke]] takes a look back at the formative days of the club…@@//
The fanzine ‘movement’ of the late eighties threw loads of like-minded people together, never mind which team they supported. I met [[Andy Lowe]] through this, and also a lovely chap called [[John Holt]], a Notts nutcase who had dressed up as a Victorian player when being the match mascot. John refereed and also ran a successful ‘friendly’ football league outside the jurisdiction of the Notts FA.
The Notts County fanzine, [[The Pie]], had played a few friendly pre-match fixtures during the 1989-90 season against Birmingham City, Leyton Orient and Crewe Alexandria, and they had proved very popular. Andy suggested a [[Tricky Tree|The Tricky Tree]] vs Pie game over the Easter holiday. I can’t remember the score now (3-2 to the Reds! – Andy) but it was out of this fixture that [[Jon Poole]], I think, suggested we form a joint team and enter John’s league for the following season.
I thought I’d probably got one more season in me, as did [[Whiffer Smith]] and [[Tony Mack]]. Jon was young and keen and knew two useful players in [[Oliver|Oliver Matthews]] and [[Karl Matthews]]. [[Pete Dawn]], a renowned local cricketer and oddball, volunteered to play in goal along with Tony (though not at the same time!). A mate called [[Coop|Stuart Cooper]] said he’d play full-back (but always stayed up front) and there were others like [[Julian McDougal|Julian ‘put a grey head on it’ McDougal]]. Andy supplied the rest of the players, names such as [[Mick Oram]], [[Nick Emery]], [[Ian Richmond]] and [[Charlie Lee]], and we played a pre-season friendly out at [[West Park]] in Long Eaton against an old mate of mine’s Sunday team – which we won!
We were off and running – and, best of all, our home ground was on the old school pitches by the railway embankment in West Bridgford, soon christened the [[Bridgford Bernebeau]] despite its sloping corner, the use of the changing facilities with showers that never worked and a heating system which seemed to operate in reverse – I swear we found ice on the inside of the windows in winter! We played the scaffolders of [[Tubbit United]] in our first game and won comfortably. I remember playing against [[John Players Sports Club]] on [[Gresham]] and winning 1-0 totally against the run of play with a really gritty performance. The team spirit was now beginning to show through. We were early leaders in the league and I managed to score my one and only goal for the club against [[Nottingham High School]] at [[Grove Farm]]. Unfortunately, history shows we petered out a bit towards the end but still had a fairly good season. After all, a team featuring Communards, Joe 90, Bob Mould and Freddie Mercury look-a-likes had to stand a chance!
Gradually we recruited classy players – I played 5-a-side with [[Jim Dees]], [[Ike|Ike Smith]] and [[Garry Goals|Garry Smith]] and they were tempted over. Rick, a jewel of a sweeper sadly came and went as he moved to Germany and [[Dickie Brinley]] finally signed on the dotted line. We now had a side, a proper side. Who’d have thought that a generation later the club would have become one of the longest running and most respected in Nottinghamshire Sunday morning football. It’s a funny old game!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;[[Jim Dees]] Reminisces@@
I played for Fanzines between 1991 and 1997 and I have to say, of all the different Sunday clubs I have played for, my time at Fanzines was the most enjoyable. It was mainly due to the ethos which was established by co-founders (and rivals across the Trent) Jim Cooke and Andy Lowe - the ethos of playing to win, but in a friendly yet competitive atmosphere. During my time there was always more of a focus on trying to play the Forest way: 'on the deck' - rather than the County way: 'put some snow on it'. As Cloughie once remarked, 'If God had wanted us to play in the sky he would have put grass up there'. To see Fanzines still going strong after so many years and still trying to play the proper way is fantastic.
My first contact with Fanzines United came via the legendary (and tanned) Jim Cooke. Ike, Garry Goals and myself played a series of five-a-side matches against a team of obnoxious w*nkers, with Jim's team of archivists. Our own Sunday team - [[Jim Bowen's Allstars]] (super, smashing, great) - had run its course so when the request came to join the Fanzines team we jumped at the chance. At that time we were in the Notts Friendly League, however when playing St Ann's it didn't seem so friendly! We had a good season but unfortunately never quite got the better of main rivals, [[Players FC|John Players]].
In the 1993-94 season [['Coach' Birty|John Birtwhistle]] led some treacherous training sessions at Meadow Lane. How no-one broke a neck I'll never know. The team continued to strengthen and flourish under the stewardship of [['The Gaffer'|Paul Harrison]] as we entered the [[EMPAL]] league. There were some fantastic encounters against [[Inter Edwalton]]. Fanzines, however, had the last laugh with a [[cup final win|Cup Finals]] - the winning goal scored by Dick after a typical surge from central midfield.
[[Orange Shirts]]
[[Yellow & Green]]
[[Blue & Black Stripes]]
[[Red & Black]]
[[Wild Clothing White]]
[[Claret & Amber]]
[[Red & Black Stripes]]
[[White & Blue Hoops]]
''Notts Friendly League 1991/92 - 1994/95''
NFFL Senior Cup Winners 1994/95
NFFL Senior Cup Finalists 1993/94
League Cup Winners 1992/93
League Cup Finalists 1991/92
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
''EMPAL 1995/96 - Present day''
EMPAL Division 1 Runners Up 2007/08
EMPAL Division 2 Champions 1996/97
EMPAL Division 2 Runners Up 2005/06
EMPAL Cup Finalists 1996/97
EMPAL Most Sporting Team 2001/02, 2002/03, 2006/07, 2007/08
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
''Records''
Biggest Win - 11-0 v [[Nevabeen Athletic]], 19/02/2006, EMPAL Division Two
Biggest Defeat - 0-16 v [[Ardley Athletic]], 2001
Highest Scoring Game - 0-16 v [[Ardley Athletic]], 2001
Highest League Finish - [[2nd, EMPAL Division One, 2007/08|2007-08]]
Most Club Appearances - [[Garry Smith]] or [[Fred Lowe]] (probably)
All Time Top Goalscorer - [[Garry Smith]] (probably)
Most Goals in a Season - 50+ [[Mike Thomas]] 1996/97 (allegedly)
Most Goals in a single game - 5 [[Stephen Connor]], TWICE! v [[Nevabeen Athletic]], 06/11/2005 & 19/02/2006
Most Goals Scord in a single game by a substitute - 2 [[Darren Heithus]], Fanzines 5 [[GM Olympico|Olympico]] 0, Sep 2005 and [[Haseley Gordon]], Fanzines 3 [[Notts Athletic]] 0, Apr 2008
First Sending Off - [[Aidy Black]]
Highest Transfer Fee Paid - £5 [[Paul Ravenscroft]] 2003
Unbeaten Season* - 1997, EMPAL Division Two
//*Technically, the last game ended in defeat, but [[Andy|Andy Lowe]] doesn't seem to count that.//
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[[Top Goalscorer]]
[[Ian Swanton Trophy]]
[[EMPAL]]
[[EMPAL Honours]]
[[EMPAL Division One]]
[[EMPAL Division Two]]
[[NFFL]]
[[Cup Finals]]
[[County Cup]]
[[EMPAL Cup]]
A tournament of never ending disappointment it seems. There have been some spectacular high scoring defeats and incredible self-implosions along the way.
[>img[Courtney Nangle|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/legends_courtney%20nangle.JPG]]
What to say about the enigma that is/was the ever-youthful Courtney Nangle? Without doubt one of the nicest blokes you could ever wish to meet but also one of the most unreliable as far as Sunday morning football is concerned. Pity the manager forced to trade off Courtney’s undeniable talents as a footballer with the weekly headache brought on by the wait to see whether said talent would be on display or would instead be on a forgotten family holiday/day out/shopping trip/christening etc etc. And then, if he did turn up, would he have remembered his boots and/or shin pads? Ah, but it was all worth it once Courtney crossed the white line. Unfazed and accomplished, Courtney was the man for whom panic remained an unintelligible sense of being. While others would shout, swear and wipe a furrowed brow, Courtney would just smile and you knew it was going to be OK. Even when it wasn’t. Last seen turning up for pre-season training in mid-September without suitable footwear. Will he return? Never say never where Courtney’s concerned…
| !Season | !Apps | !Goals |
| [[2001-02]] | 14 | 0 |
| [[2002-03]] | 14 | 1 |
| [[2003-04]] | 4 | 1 |
| [[2004-05]] | 6 | 0 |
"The Cowshed". Home to both [[Butler Benfica]] and [[Chequers]]. A rustic setting, with facilities to match.
[[Fanzines United]] have appeared in the following cup finals:
[[NFFL League Cup Finalists 1991-92]]
[[NFFL League Cup Winners 1992-93]]
[[NFFL Senior Cup Finalists 1993-94]]
[[NFFL Senior Cup Winners 1994-95]]
[[EMPAL Cup Finalists 1996-97]]
[img[1995: Coop and The Gaffer celebrate their joint award for the 'Most Stupidly Dressed Person in Football'|http://photos-b.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v107/49/40/675480657/n675480657_175401_834.jpg]]
''2003 - present''
(Left Midfield/Left Back)
[>img[Dan Brown|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/3%20dan%20brown.JPG]] A class act. Following a year long honeymoon, both his attendance and goal-scoring records improved exponentionally in 2006/07. Dan's on-pitch debates with [[Daz|Darren Heithus]] about the merits of where/when to cross the ball are particularly educational.
| !Season | !Apps | !Goals |
| [[2002-03]] | 1 | 0 |
| [[2003-04]] | 13 | 0 |
| [[2004-05]] | 8 | 3 |
| [[2005-06]] | 2 | 0 |
| [[2006-07]] | 19 | 6 |
| [[2007-08]] | 16 | 0 |
''2004 - present''
(Striker)
Squad Number: ''9''
[>img[Darren Heithus|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/9%20darren%20heithus.JPG]] Must be something about Daz being a member of the law enforcement community that makes him so argumentative, but thankfully it is more tolerable to have him on our side than on the oppostions. Just about.
| !Season | !Apps | !Goals |
| [[2003-04]] | 12 | 3 |
| [[2004-05]] | 5 | 5 |
| [[2005-06]] | 14 | 9 |
| [[2006-07]] | 21 | 16 |
| [[2007-08]] | 18 | 8 |
'' 2001-02 & 2004 - present''
(Midfield/Defence)
[>img[Dave Greenwood|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/2008%205%20dave%20greenwood.JPG]]
Melancholic midfielder or dour defender? Currently enjoying a second tour of duty with [[Fanzines United]] and still the management don’t know what to do with him, though some of the suggestions are downright filthy and possibly illegal.
| !Season | !Apps | !Goals |
| [[2001-02]] | 20 | 3 |
| [[2002-03]] | 11 | 2 |
| [[2003-04]] | n/a | |
| [[2004-05]] | 19 | 2 |
| [[2005-06]] | 16 | 1 |
| [[2006-07]] | 16 | 3 |
| [[2007-08]] | 24 | 4 |
[<img[Dave Greenwood|http://photos-657.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v362/49/40/675480657/n675480657_1303967_2329.jpg]]
[>img[Dickie Brinley|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/legends_dickie%20brinley.JPG]]
‘Dead eye’ Dickie the dead ball expert and midfield general, infamous for turning up the morning of a [[County Cup]] tie in Mansfield against the local colliery works team with a black eye, supposedly as a result of a poke in the eye by his son Bobby the night before. Dickie watched safely from the sidelines as we got kicked all over the park, although we somehow managed to win the game 3-2. Our opponents fed us chips covered in boiling hot gravy in the local pub afterwards - with no eating utensils. [[Charlie|Charlie Lee]] still has the marks from the skin burns on his fingers to this day.
''1999 - 2007''
(Forward/Wing)
[>img[Duncan Richmond|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/legends_duncan%20richmond.JPG]]
Without doubt, the heart and soul of Sunday morning football. Eight seasons as a [[Fanzines United]] player and although never a regular starter was always reliable and enthusiastic, and a damn good linesman to boot. Every club needs players like Dunc but very few are fortunate enough to have them. His dedication was recognised and genuinely appreciated by his team mates as evidenced by his name being a regular among the votes in the end of season [[Ian Swanton Trophy]] for Overall Contribution. His early career ‘ability’ to seemingly never be in complete control of his own feet led to him being nicknamed ‘Wanchope’ but over the years Dunc matured into a player of some pace and skill who was often thrown on late in games when a moment of magic was required. Fittingly, then, it was just such a scenario which led to him scoring in his last appearance in a Fanzines shirt. Claims he was actually club top scorer one season, but strangely there is no evidence to back up such a fabled fancy.
| !Season | !Apps | !Goals |
| [[2001-02]] | 14 | 5 |
| [[2002-03]] | 12 | 3 |
| [[2003-04]] | 4 | 0 |
| [[2004-05]] | 9 | 2 |
| [[2005-06]] | 3 | 0 |
| [[2006-07]] | 14 | 3 |
[img[EMPAL|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/empallogo65416.gif]]
East Midlands Public Authorities League, who took pity on a homeless [[Fanzines United]] after the collapse of the [[NFFL]] in 1995 (see [[John Holt]]). A match made in heaven, they’ve played host to us ever since.
''See [[EMPAL Honours Board|EMPAL Honours]] for list of past winners of EMPAL competitions.''
@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:18pt;EMPAL Contacts@@
''Chairman''
Graham Berrington
0115 9273716
''Secretary''
Andrew Williams
0115 8402539
awilliams@bca-group.com
''Registrar''
Robert Evans
3 Edale Drive
South Normaton
Derbys ~DE55 2LF
evans3edale@hotmail.com
''Treasurer''
Ralf Holland
3 Beaufort Drive
Chilwell
Notts ~NG9 4FJ
ralph.holland@ntlworld.com
''Refs & Fixtures''
Brian Hambridge
0115 9140957
brianhambridge@ntlworld.com
''Press Secretary''
Adrian Ford
adford@tycoint.com
See [[EMPAL Honours]] for past winners.
Suffice to say that [[Fanzines'|Fanzines United]] performance has been patchy, give or take a few Quarter Finals in recent years.
See [[EMPAL Honours]] for past winners.
See [[EMPAL Honours]] for past winners.
[img[EMPAL|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/empallogo65416.gif]]
@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:18pt;EMPAL Honours Board@@
| !Season | !Division One | !Division Two | !Division Three | !Division Four | !EMPAL Cup | !Five-a-side Tournament |
| [[1991-92]] | Wilford Sports | | | | [[Freeman & Mitchell]] | |
| [[1992-93]] | Wilford Sports | | | | [[Freeman & Mitchell]] | |
| [[1993-94]] | Wilford Sports | | | | [[Freeman & Mitchell]] | |
| [[1994-95]] | [[Nottingham Alumni]] | Pinewood Studios | | | County Highways | |
| [[1995-96]] | [[Freeman & Mitchell]] | Compton Athletic | Oakleigh Lodge | | [[Freeman & Mitchell]] | |
| [[1996-97]] | [[Nottingham Alumni]] | [[Fanzines United]] | ASC Dayncourt | | [[Freeman & Mitchell]] | |
| [[1997-98]] | [[Nottingham Alumni]] | Castle Meadow | Newvale Roebuck | | [[Nottingham Alumni]] | |
| [[1998-99]] | [[Nottingham Alumni]] | FC Durham | Central Windows | | [[Nottingham Alumni]] | |
| [[1999-00]] | [[Nottingham Alumni]] | West Notts | [[Benfica]] | [[West End]] | [[Nottingham Alumni]] | [[Highfield Park Rangers]] |
| [[2000-01]] | Newvale Willoughby | [[Rosie O'Briens]] | [[West End]] | [[West Bridgford Albion]] | [[West End]] | [[Nottingham Law School]] |
| [[2001-02]] | Sherwood Foresters | [[West End]] | [[Rose & Crown]] | [[Victoria Palace]] | Newvale Roebuck | [[Freeman & Mitchell]] |
| [[2002-03]] | [[West End]] | [[West Bridgford Albion]] | Lex Commercials | [[Pheasant Inn]] | [[West End]] | [[Nottingham Law School]] |
| [[2003-04]] | [[Fox & Crown]] | [[Victoria Palace]] | [[Pheasant Inn]] | Horse and Jockey | [[Benfica]] | [[Pheasant Inn]] |
| [[2004-05]] | [[West End]] | [[Pheasant Inn]] | [[Rushcliffe SHR]] | Ainsley | [[West End]] | [[Fox & Crown]] |
| [[2005-06]] | [[West End]] | [[Brinsthorpe Rangers]] | [[Burton Joyce B]] | Willoghby Arms | [[Burton Joyce A]] | [[Freeman & Mitchell]] |
| [[2006-07]] | [[Burton Joyce A]] | [[Total Reclaims Demolition]] | The Globe Old Boys | [[Arnold Ex-Service]] | [[West Bridgford Albion]] | [[Highfield Park Rangers]] |
| [[2007-08]] | [[Burton Joyce A]] | [[Linford Nelson]] | [[Arnold Ex-Service]] | [[Wollaton Pirates]] | [[Nottingham Law School]] | [[Punjab Colts]] |
| [[2008-09]] | | | | | ] | ] |
[<img[Elms Park Pavilion|http://www.nottsseniorleague.co.uk/ruddingtonunitedground.gif]][>img[Elms Park Pitch|http://www.nottsseniorleague.co.uk/ruddingtonunitedground2.gif]]
Home ground of [[Fanzines United]]. The best playing surface you're ever likely to encounter.
Ruddington Playing fields,
Elms Park,
Ruddington,
Nottingham.
''Directions:''
From the Nottingham Knight Island Follow A60 to Loughborough past the ESSO service station, straight through the lights and the gates to the ground are a couple of hundred yards up on the right hand side.
@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:18pt;Welcome to the Fanzipedia@@ [>img[Fanzines United|http://profile.ak.facebook.com/object2/1279/53/n2407009704_7500.jpg]]
''The online wiki for Fanzines United FC''
''http://fanzines.intheteam.com/''
Fanzines United are a Sunday-league football team based in Nottingham who currently play in the first division of the [[East Midlands Public Authorities League|EMPAL]]
''@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;Formed 1990@@''
''@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;Honours@@''
> @@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:10pt;1996/97 EMPAL Division 2 Champions@@
> @@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:10pt;1994/95 NFFL Senior Cup Winners@@
> @@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:10pt;1992/93 NFFL League Cup Winners@@
|* @@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;[[Club History]]@@|* @@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;[[Seasons]]@@|
|* @@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;[[Club Records]]@@|* @@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;[[Places]]@@|
|* @@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;[[Fixtures]]@@|* @@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;[[Teams]]@@|
|* @@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;[[Match Reports]]@@|* @@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;[[Competitions]]@@|
|* @@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;[[Players]]@@|* @@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;[[Club Kits]]@@|
|* @@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;[[Appearances]]@@|* @@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;[[Team Photos]]@@|
If editing any of these pages, enter a username for signing your edits: <<option txtUserName>>
@@font-weight:bold;font-size:1.3em;color:#444; //What now?// @@ Before you can save any changes, you need to enter your password in the form below.
<<tiddler TspotControls>>
@@font-weight:bold;font-size:1.3em;color:#444; //Working online// @@ You can edit this ~TiddlyWiki right now, and save your changes using the "save to web" button in the column on the right.
@@font-weight:bold;font-size:1.3em;color:#444; //Working offline// @@ A fully functioning copy of this ~TiddlyWiki can be saved onto your hard drive or USB stick. You can make changes and save them locally without being connected to the Internet. When you're ready to sync up again, just click "upload" and your ~TiddlyWiki will be saved back to tiddlyspot.com.
In Clifton. The pitches are actually better than you might expect. [[Fanzines|Fanzines United]] have a surprisingly good record down there.
Watch out for the burger van.
''@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;[[Season 2004-05|2004-05]] EMPAL Division 2@@''
| !Date | !Competition | !Opposition | !Score | !Result | !H/A | !Venue | !Scorers |
| 19/09/04 | EMPAL Div2 | Keyworth Plough | 2-5 | L | H | [[Gresham]] |Smith, Whittaker |
| 03/10/04 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Chequers]] | 3-1 | W | A | [[Cropwell Butler]] |Gilbert 2, Richmond |
| 10/10/04 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Butler United]] | 1-1 | D | H | [[Gresham]] |Gilbert |
| 17/10/04 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Inter FB]] | 1-3 | L | A | [[Highfields]] |Brown D |
| 31/10/04 | [[EMPAL Cup]] | Kellys NTL | 4-0 | W | H | [[Gresham]] |Whittaker 2, Heithus 2 |
| 07/11/04 | EMPAL Div2 | [[FC Olympico|Olympico]] | 2-2 | D | A | [[Farnborough Road]] |Gilbert 2 |
| 14/11/04 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Brooks Villa]] | 2-1 | W | A | [[Chilwell Olympia]] |Gilbert, Smith |
| 21/11/04 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Inter FB]] | 2-2 | D | H | [[Gresham]] |Gilbert, Heithus |
| 28/11/04 | EMPAL Div2 | Rose & Crown | 7-0 | W | A | [[Alford Road]] |Gilbert 3, Greenwood, Smith, Brown D, Richmond |
| 05/12/04 | EMPAL Div2 | Euro Sports Bar | 2-2 | D | H | [[Gresham]] |Whittaker, Heithus |
| 12/12/04 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Notts Athletic]] | 0-1 | L | A | [[Alford Road]] | |
| 09/01/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Chequers]] | 1-1 | D | H | [[Gresham]] |Gilbert |
| 16/01/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Butler United]] | 2-1 | W | A | [[Cropwell Butler]] |Timpson, Smith |
| 23/01/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Brooks Villa]] | 7-1 | W | H | [[Gresham]] |Ravenscroft, Gilbert 2, Whittaker, Smith 2, Brown D |
| 30/01/05 | [[EMPAL Cup]] | [[Fox & Crown]] | 2-4 | L | H | [[Gresham]] |Gilbert, Greenwood |
| 06/02/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Ardley Athletic]] | 0-4 | L | A | [[Highfields]] | |
| 20/02/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Pheasant Inn]] | 2-1 | W | A | [[The Forest]] |Smith, Gilbert |
| 03/03/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Pheasant Inn]] | 2-2 | D | H | [[Gresham]] |Whittaker, Heithus|
| 10/03/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[FC Olympico|Olympico]] | 0-3 | L | H | [[Gresham]] | |
| 17/03/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Ardley Athletic]] | 2-1 | W | H | [[Gresham]] |Gilbert 2 |
| 24/03/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Notts Athletic]] | 0-1 | L | H | [[Gresham]] | |
''@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;[[Season 2005-06|2005-06]] EMPAL Division 2@@''
| !Date | !Competition | !Opposition | !Score | !Result | !H/A | !Venue | !Scorers |
| 04/09/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[GM Olympico|Olympico]] | 5-0 | W | H | [[Gresham]] |Sowerbutts, Connor 2, Heithus 2 |
| 11/09/05 | EMPAL Div2 | Rushcliffe SHR | 0-1 | L | A | | |
| 25/09/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Butler United]] | 4-2 | W | H | [[Gresham]] |Heithus 2, Connor, Gilbert |
| 02/10/05 | [[EMPAL Cup]] | [[Benfica]] | 2-2 | L | H | [[Gresham]] |Connor 2 |
| 09/10/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Victoria Palace]] | 4-2 | W | A | [[Gresham]] |Greenwood, Gilbert, Heithus 2 |
| 16/10/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Chequers]] | 1-1 | D | H | [[Gresham]] |Gilbert |
| 23/10/05 | [[County Cup]] | [[Radcliffe Olympic A]] | 5-6 | L | H | [[Gresham]] |Collinson, Connor 2, Gilbert 2|
| 30/10/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Inter FB]] | 4-0 | W | H | [[Gresham]] |Connor, Doorly, Collinson |
| 06/11/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Nevabeen Athletic]] | 10-0 | W | A | [[Gresham]] |Connor 5, Collinson 2, Timpson, Smith 2 |
| 13/11/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Inter FB]] | 2-3 | L | A | Stockhill Lane |Smith, Heithus |
| 27/11/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Chequers]] | 3-2 | W | A | [[Cropwell Butler]] |Connor, Shaw, Collinson |
| 11/12/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Brinsthorpe Rangers]] | 6-1 | W | H | [[Gresham]] |Connor 3, Smith 2, Jones|
| 15/01/06 | EMPAL Div2 | [[GM Olympico|Olympico]] | 4-1 | W | A | [[Farnborough Road]] |Connor 3, Smith |
| 22/01/06 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Ardley Athletic]] | 2-1 | W | A | [[Victoria Embankment]] |o.g., Cowlard |
| 29/01/06 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Brooks Villa]] | 2-1 | W | A | [[Chilwell Olympia]] |Smith, Heithus |
| 05/02/06 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Victoria Palace]] | 3-2 | W | H | [[Elms Park]] |Connor, Smith 2 |
| 12/02/06 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Brooks Villa]] | 2-1 | W | H | [[Elms Park]] |Collinson 2 |
| 19/02/06 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Nevabeen Athletic]] | 11-0 | W | H | [[Elms Park]] |Connor 5, Collinson, Remzi 2, Smith, Heithus, Doorly |
| 12/03/06 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Ardley Athletic]] | 3-0 | W | H | [[Gresham]] |Smith 2, Remzi |
| 19/03/06 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Brinsthorpe Rangers]] | 1-3 | L | H | |Collinson |
| 26/03/06 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Total Reclaims Demolition]] | 5-3 | W | H | [[Elms Park]] |Connor 4, Remzi |
| 02/04/06 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Butler United]] | 0-1 | L | A | [[Cropwell Butler]] | |
| 09/04/06 | EMPAL Div2 | Rushcliffe SHR | 2-2 | D | H | [[Elms Park]] |Whittaker, Collinson |
| 26/04/06 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Total Reclaims Demolition]] | 3-5 | L | A | South Normanton |Connor, Collinson 2 |
''@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;[[Season 2006-07|2006-07]] EMPAL Division 1@@''
| !Date | !Competition | !Opposition | !Score | !Result | !H/A | !Venue | !Scorers |
| 03/09/06 | EMPAL Div1 | [[West End]] | 2-0 | W | H | |Connor 2 |
| 10/09/06 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Brinsthorpe Rangers]] | 2-0 | W | A | [[Hall Park]] |Connor, Heithus |
| 17/09/06 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Burton Joyce A]] | 0-4 | L | H | [[Elms Park]] | |
| 24/09/06 | [[County Cup]] | Boat & Horses | 5-1 | W | H | [[Elms Park]] |Heithus 2, Connor 2, Remzi |
| 01/10/06 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Radcliffe Olympic A]] | 2-5 | L | A | Radcliffe-on-Trent |Brown D, Connor |
| 08/10/06 | EMPAL Div1 | [[White Swan]] | 5-2 | W | A | [[Ellis Guildford School]] |Greenwood, Brown D 3, Heithus |
| 15/10/06 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Freeman & Mitchell]] | 1-2 | L | A | [[Gresham]] |Brown D |
| 22/10/06 | [[County Cup]] | [[Wollaton Arms]] | 10-1 | W | H | [[Elms Park]] |Collinson, Connor 3, Heithus 2, Greenwood, Whittaker, Richmond 2 |
| 29/10/06 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Nottingham Law School]] | 4-3 | W | H | [[Elms Park]] |Connor 3, Timpson |
| 05/11/06 | [[EMPAL Cup]] | [[Clifton Bridge Inn]] | 5-0 | W | A | [[Farnborough Road]] |Connor 2, Collinson, Whittaker, Heithus |
| 12/11/06 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Notts Athletic]] | 2-0 | W | A | [[Alford Road]] |Heithus 2 |
| 19/11/06 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Radcliffe Olympic A]] | 4-4 | D | H | [[Elms Park]] |Heithus 2, Remzi, Collinson |
| 26/11/06 | [[EMPAL Cup]] | [[Nottingham Law School]] | 2-5 | L | A | [[Clifton Campus]] |Brown D, Whittaker |
| 03/12/06 | EMPAL Div1 | [[West Bridgford Albion]] | 2-6 | L | A | [[Gresham]] |Heithus 2 |
| 10/12/06 | EMPAL Div1 | [[West Bridgford Albion]] | 5-3 | W | H | [[Elms Park]] |Connor 2, Heithus, Remzi, Greenwood |
| 17/12/06 | EMPAL Div1 | [[West End]] | 2-2 | D | A | [[Hall Park]] |Remzi, Connor |
| 07/01/07 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Brinsthorpe Rangers]] | 1-3 | L | H | [[Elms Park]] |Connor |
| 21/01/07 | EMPAL Div1 | [[White Swan]] | 3-2 | W | H | [[Elms Park]] |Connor, Whittaker, Doorly |
| 28/01/07 | [[EMPAL Cup]] | [[Trent All Stars]] | 4-1 | W | A | [[Victoria Embankment]] |Connor 2, Doorly, Whittaker |
| 04/02/07 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Nottingham Law School]] | 0-3 | L | A | [[Clifton Campus]] | |
| 11/03/07 | [[EMPAL Cup]] | [[Nottingham Law School]] | 0-1 | L | H | [[Elms Park]] | |
| 18/03/07 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Burton Joyce A]] | 0-3 | L | A | Burton Joyce | |
| 25/03/07 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Freeman & Mitchell]] | 5-2 | W | H | [[Elms Park]] |Connor, Heithus 2, Remzi, Richmond|
| 15/04/07 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Notts Athletic]] | 0-2 | L | H | [[Elms Park]] | |
''@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;[[Season 2007-08|2007-08]] EMPAL Division 1@@''
| !Date | !Competition | !Opposition | !Score | !Result | !H/A | !Venue | !Scorers |
| 02/09/07 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Total Reclaims Demolition]] | 2-0 | W | H | [[Elms Park]] |Buxton, Heithus |
| 09/09/07 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Radcliffe Olympic A]] | 2-1 | W | A | Radcliffe-on-Trent |Gilbert, Collinson |
| 16/09/07 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Burton Joyce A]] | 1-0 | W | H | [[Elms Park]] |Brown G |
| 23/09/07 | [[County Cup]] | Local Inn | 4-5 | L | H | [[Elms Park]] |Heithus 2, Greenwood, Brown G |
| 30/09/07 | EMPAL Div1 | [[West End]] | 2-2 | D | A | Nuthall |Heithus 2 |
| 21/10/07 | EMPAL Div1 | [[West End]] | 0-1 | L | H | [[Elms Park]] | |
| 04/11/07 | [[EMPAL Cup]] | [[Notts Athletic]] | 4-2 | W | A | [[Alford Road]] |Brown G, Greenwood, Heithus 2 |
| 11/11/07 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Nottingham Law School]] | 3-1 | W | A | [[Clifton Campus]] |Heithus 2, Brown G |
| 18/11/07 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Nottingham Medics A|Nottingham Medics]] | 2-1 | W | H | [[Elms Park]] |Remzi 2 |
| 25/11/07 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Notts Athletic]] | 3-0 | W | A | [[Alford Road]] |Timpson, Collinson 2 |
| 02/12/07 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Brinsthorpe Rangers]] | 1-1 | D | A | [[Hall Park]] |Remzi |
| 09/12/07 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Total Reclaims Demolition]] | 2-1 | W | A | [[Victoria Embankment]] |Collinson, Greenwood |
| 16/12/07 | EMPAL Div1 | [[West Bridgford Albion]] | 2-2 | D | H | [[Elms Park]] |Whittaker, Todino |
| 06/01/08 | EMPAL Div1 | [[West Bridgford Albion]] | 5-1 | W | A | [[Farnborough Road]] |Whittaker, Brown G, o.g., Greenwood, Connor |
| 03/02/08 | [[EMPAL Cup]] | [[Punjab Colts]] | 1-0 | W | A | [[Harvey Haddon]] |Connor |
| 10/02/08 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Highfield Park Rangers]] | 5-2 | W | A | [[Victoria Embankment]] |Brown G 3, Remzi 2 |
| 24/02/08 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Freeman & Mitchell]] | D | 0-0 | H | [[Elms Park]] | |
| 02/03/08 | [[EMPAL Cup]] | [[GM Olympico|Olympico]] | L | 0-1 | H | [[Elms Park]] | |
| 09/03/08 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Highfield Park Rangers]] | W | 1-0 | H | [[Elms Park]] |Gilbert |
| 16/03/08 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Burton Joyce A]] | L | 3-5 | A | [[The Poplars]] |Brown, Jones, Timpson |
| 30/03/08 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Radcliffe Olympic A]] | W | 4-0 | H | [[Elms Park]] |Brown, Gilbert 2, Doorly |
| 10/04/08 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Nottingham Law School]] | L | 0-3 | H | [[Elms Park]] | |
| 13/04/08 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Notts Athletic]] | W | 3-0 | H | [[Elms Park]] |Brown, Gordon 2 |
| 16/04/08 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Nottingham Medics A|Nottingham Medics]] | W | 2-0 | A | [[Forest]] |Gordon, Collinson |
| 20/04/08 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Brinsthorpe Rangers]] | W | 3-0 | H | [[Elms Park]] |Whittaker, Connor, Collinson |
| 27/04/08 | EMPAL Div1 | [[Freeman & Mitchell]] | L | 1-3 | H | [[Elms Park]] |Connor |
Now what would a grown man find so enthralling about a Sunday morning children’s television programme about a dolphin? I don’t know but [[Ike Smith]] does. In fact, it got to the point where he’d regularly turn up late for games rather than miss the end of Flipper. But then, Ike did excel in being different…
''Steven ‘Fred’ Lowe''
1992 - 2007
(Full Back / Centre Half / Defensive Midfield / Makeshift Keeper)
[>img[Fred Lowe|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/legends_fred%20lowe.JPG]]
Debuted in 1992 as a fresh faced 20 year-old and never looked back, playing in more games than he cares to remember and winning more silverware than Sharon cares to clean. Formed a formidable full-back partnership with his [[better looking and more skilful brother|Andy Lowe]] during the mid to late nineties and played a major role in keeping the club going during the dark period at the turn of the century. Retiring to spend more time with his female-dominated family and to nurse his various injuries, and therefore leaves intact his proud record of never having scored in a game which [[Fanzines United]] lost – unfortunately he only ever scored once. It’s a record he shares with that other great Nottingham defensive institution, Des Walker, although I don’t recall Des ever saving a penalty while donning the gloves as fourth choice keeper – yes, ‘Mr Versatile’ is still talking about ‘that’ save.
| !Season | !Apps | !Goals |
| [[2001-02]] | 16 | 0 |
| [[2002-03]] | 15 | 0 |
| [[2003-04]] | 18 | 0 |
| [[2004-05]] | 16 | 0 |
| [[2005-06]] | 17 | 0 |
| [[2006-07]] | 10 | 0 |
''Home Ground:'' [[Gresham]]
''Colours:'' Blue
''Team Website: ''
[[Beat us 2-1 in the final of the EMPAL Cup|Cup Finals]] back in 1997, a defeat due as much to our profligate finishing in a tight match as [[The Gaffer's|Paul Harrison]] decision to leave [[Andy Lowe]] on the bench. Well, we all make mistakes. It’s just that most of us try not to make them in Cup Finals.
''2007 - present''
(Forward/Midfield)
Squad Number: ''17''
[>img[Gareth Brown|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/2008%2017%20gareth%20brown.JPG]] Lively, skilful, and a good finisher. Brings much needed youthful exuberance to an ageing squad.
| !Season | !Apps | !Goals |
| [[2007-08]] | 23 | 12 |
| [[2008-09]] | | |
[<img[Gareth Brown|http://photos-h.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-snc1/v350/49/40/675480657/n675480657_1349487_6494.jpg]]
''2003 - 2006''
(Centre Back)
[>img[Gareth Sowerbutts|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/legends_gareth%20sowerbutts.JPG]]
The man with the ever-misspelt surname (I don’t think I ever saw an opposition team sheet that got it right), Gareth formed a centre-half partnership with [[Ravo|Paul Ravenscroft]] that was as quick in the tackle as it was with the mouth – blimey, those two could talk. With their feet. And what feet. Quick, decisive and timely in the tackle, Gareth’s movement across the turf had an almost glide-like quality – he seemingly ate up yards without the straining of a single sinew. Returned from his honeymoon to find the team at the start of the match winning run which ultimately brought promotion back in [[2005-06]] and therefore unfortunately spent much of it watching and supporting from the sidelines – another example of a good woman ‘interrupting’ a good career! Turned up at training the other week and gave every impression of having never been away, despite claiming he hadn’t kicked a football since his last game in a [[Fanzines United]] shirt in Aril 2006 – ah, ‘form is temporary, class is permanent’. Not that Gareth ever suffered a dip in form you understand…he was just permanently class.
| !Season | !Apps | !Goals |
| [[2003-04]] | 16 | 1 |
| [[2004-05]] | 12 | 0 |
| [[2005-06]] | 15 | 1 |
[>img[Garry 'Goals' Smith|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/legends_garry%20smith.JPG]] Club legend. A fifteen year veteran whose moniker, funnily enough, was well earned by an ability to score goals. One of the infamous Nottingham University ‘green sock’ brigade who helped turn the club from also-rans to bona fide trophy winners. Left foot, header, shin, backside, right foot (OK, maybe not that last one!) – no matter how they fell to the arch poacher they invariably ended up in the back of the net. Despite the encroaching years (39 and counting, he won’t thank anyone for pointing out) still possessing of a level of fitness of which some cannot even dream and a turn of speed over the first few yards which helped leave many a defender in his wake during his ‘Indian Summer’ of 2005/6 when his 13 goals helped the club towards promotion. The most unassuming of manners belies the fact that Goals left the club to join his fellow-villagers of [[Butler Benfica]] FC as its [[all-time leading scorer|Club Records]], though exactly how many he bagged remains a mystery thanks to [[Charlie|Charlie Lee]] ‘mislaying’ three season’s worth of records. But that’s another story…
| !Season | !Apps | !Goals |
| [[2001-02]] | 19 | 7 |
| [[2002-03]] | 18 | 8 |
| [[2003-04]] | 17 | 10 |
| [[2004-05]] | 17 | 7 |
| [[2005-06]] | 21 | 12 |
| [[2006-07]] | 3 | 0 |
''2001 - present''
(Forward)
Squad Number: ''11''
[>img[G11|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/11%20graham%20gilbert.JPG]] Shuffle-footed, dad-rocking, [[goal-scoring|Top Goalscorer]] legend, and [[clubman of the year|Ian Swanton Trophy]] in 2005. G11 spent a whole year on the sidelines due to a particularly particular groin injury but now completes the team’s collection of 5+ left wingers. Can only be good for competition (in running the line).
| !Season | !Apps | !Goals |
| [[2001-02]] | 23 | 13 |
| [[2002-03]] | 18 | 11 |
| [[2003-04]] | 22 | 14 |
| [[2004-05]] | 19 | 17 |
| [[2005-06]] | 9 | 5 |
| [[2006-07]] | 8 | 0 |
| [[2007-08]] | 20 | 3 |
Golden Graham, [[The Gaffer's|Paul Harrison]] favourite. Always won man of the match, even when he wasn’t playing. Once scored a hat-trick while playing at centre-half. Left to become a ski instructor in the south of France, a departure from which The Gaffer has only just recovered thanks to the arrival of [[James|James Timpson]].
Gresham Playing Fields, home of [[Fanzines United]] from September 1994 to December 2005, until the move to [[Elms Park]]. It wasn't a bad playing surface, it just wasn't that good either. Became "Fortess Gresham" in later years during the march to promotion from the Second Division, but less fortress-like when losing 6-2 to WBA or 2-1 to the 10 men of [[Freeman & Mitchell]] in 2006-07, a perfomance that sparked one of [[Daz's|Darren Heithus]] less eloquent post-match rants.
Windswept and often waterlogged fields next to the Trent, scene of a 1-0 [[Cup Final|Cup Finals]] victory over [[Inter Edwalton]] in 1995 and of a triple sending-off fiasco in 2002 (see [[Nottingham Medics]]).
A squelchy mess of a field in Eastwood. Never pleasant.
Harvey Haddon Sports Complex
Wigman Road
Bilborough
Details of how to find it here:
http://www.axcis.co.uk/map/26167.html
''Distant Past - 2004 & 2007 - present''
(Forward/Midfield)
Squad Number: 15
[>img[Haseley|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/15%20Haseley%20Gordon.jpg]]
An old fashioned centre forward, and not just because he's big and slow.
| !Season | !Apps | !Goals |
| [[2001-02]] | 19 | 8 |
| [[2002-03]] | 17 | 9 |
| [[2003-04]] | 24 | 11 |
| [[2004-05]] | n/a | |
| [[2005-06]] | n/a | |
| [[2006-07]] | n/a | |
| [[2007-08]] | 13 | 3 |
[>img[Ian Cairney|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/legends_ian%20cairney.JPG]]
A sweet left foot and enthusiasm personified. Hilarious memories of him letting out the girliest of screams when hit square in the face after facing off with a bloke twice his size during a game against [[Nottingham Medics]] at [[Grove Farm]].
| !Season | !Apps | !Goals |
| [[2001-02]] | 20 | 2 |
| [[2002-03]] | 14 | 9 |
| [[2003-04]] | 15 | 0 |
| [[2004-05]] | n/a | |
| [[2005-06]] | 3 | 0 |
Without doubt the greatest lothario ever to play for the club, even [[Ike Smith]] paled in comparison. Considering his Saturday night/Sunday morning activities he was remarkably reliable when it came to turning up, but it was always interesting to see which female would accompany Shagger down to [[Bridgford Bernabeau]] in order to stand and watch - by this time presumably questioning her own sanity - before disappearing at the end of the 90 minutes with our ‘hero’, never to be seen again.
[>img[Ian Swanton|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/legends_ian%20swanton.JPG]]
Quite possibly the smallest - height-wise - to ever don a [[Fanzines United]] jersey but more than made up for his lack of inches with a tenacity which befitted a rottweiler starved of food for a month. Despite a centre of gravity which puts Sean Wright Phillips in the shade still managed a more than passable impression of Greg Louganis when the situation demanded, a move guaranteed to hoodwink referees and infuriate the opposition. Tragically passed away in April 2005 but is remembered by the club with its annual player's player award for overall contribution - The [[Ian Swanton Trophy]].
@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:18pt;Ian Swanton 1968-2005@@
On 16 April 2005, Swanny, the little hairy mountain man, collapsed and died suddenly. Ian was only 36 years old. For the people who were lucky enough to have met Ian they will remember a generous, funny, intelligent individual who loved life and, certainly for his time in Nottingham, lived for football.
Ian Swanton graced the playing fields of Nottingham, firstly for [[Jim Bowen's Allstars]] and then, in the club's formative years, For [[Fanzines United]]. He could score goals direct from corner kicks, which certainly helped Fanzines as our heading ability was never a strong point. He played right midfield and with his big engine got up and down the wing at a ferocious rate, yet still had time to get his [[right back|Andy Lowe]] out of trouble. His commitment and drive could lift a team and spur on success. Mr Consistency.
History tells us Swanny was also in an elite club of 'brothers who have played for Fanzines'. However, any similarity between the other 'famous' [[bespectacled|spectacles]] brothers ends there as Ian's brother was ex-Crystal palace and observed the short pass game rather than a 50 yard chaser for the beleaguered centre forward.
After leaving Nottingham Ian became a teacher and passed on his football knowledge as a coach in the local St Albans mini-league. He leaves two children, Finlay and Eadie, and partner Rachel. Hope springs eternal that Finlay will take after his dad as he already gets excited when the Match of the Day theme tune erupts on the television - good lad Swanny. The reunion had brought great excitement from Ian. He'd been putting in extra training for the task of defending the right half of the pitch and I know a certain right back who will certainly miss his work rate.
So, no more kicking a can home to Lenton from Rock City at 3 in the morning, no more bags of peas attached to injuries slumped on the sofa, no more false expectations of England winning a major championship. We all shared something special by knowing Ian Swanton, he'll be sadly missed. Peace be with him.
''[[Birty|John Birtwhistle]], May 2005''
In 2005, in tribute to the memory of [[Ian Swanton]], it was decided to initiate the club's first ever end of season award. Ian played for [[Fanzines United]] for a total of five years and was a very popular character who never gave less than 100% to the club. To reflect Ian's commitment and popularity the trophy is awarded at the end of every season to the player who has made the biggest overall contribution to the club both on and off the pitch over the previous twelve months (i.e. not simply the 'best' player). The award is voted for by the players themselves, and the past winners are listed below.
| !Season | !Winner |
| [[2004-05]] | [[Graham Gilbert]] |
| [[2005-06]] | [[Stephen Connor]] |
| [[2006-07]] | [[Adam Collinson]] |
| [[2007-08]] | [[Paul Harrison]] |
[img[A clearly overwhelmed G11 becomes the first recipient of the Ian Swanton Trophy in 2005|http://photos-a.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v80/49/40/675480657/n675480657_167416_1184.jpg]]
[>img[Ike Smith|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/legends_ike%20smith.JPG]]
Where to start? So many memories, so little space. See [[Flipper the Dolphin]] and [[Mark Bennister]] for starters. And then there was the time Ike was determined not to be late for a game. So determined that he arrived back home at 4.30am from a heavy night’s clubbing, got into his car (a battered old Beetle) and drove to the venue there and then. Early arrivers at [[Alford Road]] the next morning were amazed to see Ike’s car already in the car park. They were even more amazed to find the man himself asleep on the back seat. And then there was the time he was at work, minding two kids with behavioural difficulties at a social care home just outside Stockport. We had an evening game that Ike was not about to miss, so the youngsters were loaded into his car and told they were going on a trip. 50 miles later they arrived in Nottingham. Ike played football while they terrorised the local kids, stealing a football and getting into a fight. If that wasn’t enough, Ike then decide he was coming to the pub with us afterwards and sent his two charges to the chip shop to get themselves some tea. Irresponsible? Maybe. Priceless? Definitely. And there’s more. Lots more. Without doubt, a unique character.
Arch local rivals who poached Fanzines captain [[Nick Emery]] midway through the 1992-3 season. Got their comeuppance when beaten 1-0 in the [[NFFL Cup Final|Cup Finals]] of 1995 thanks to a goal from [[Dickie Brinley]].
17 Oct 2004 - EMPAL Div Two - Inter FB 3 Fanzines United 1 - Brown D
21 Nov 2004 - EMPAL Div Two - Fanzines United (0) 2 Inter FB (0) 2 - Heithus, Gilbert
30 Oct 2005 - EMPAL Div Two - Fanzines United (2) 4 Inter FB (0) 0 - Collinson, Connor, Doorly, o.g.
13 Nov 2005 - EMPAL Div Two - Inter FB (2) 3 Fanzines Utd (1) 2 - Smith, Heithus
''2004 - present''
(Centre Midfield/Full-back)
Squad Number: ''10''
[>img[James Timpson|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/10%20james%20timpson.JPG]] [[The Gaffer's|Paul Harrison]] golden boy, Jimbo is the current holder of the club’s 'Saturday Night Dirty Stop Out' and 'Most Outrageous Haircut' awards. His graduation to the centre midfield berth resulted in an upturn in the club's fortunes, two events which may or may not be linked. Tends to be permanantly playing through an injury and often disappears for weeks at a time. Often found in tanning booths.
| !Season | !Apps | !Goals |
| [[2004-05]] | 13 | 1 |
| [[2005-06]] | 14 | 1 |
| [[2006-07]] | 22 | 1 |
| [[2007-08]] | 21 | 2 |
[>img[Jim Cooke|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/legends_jim%20cooke.JPG]]
Manager of the world’s greatest record shop, [[Selectadisc]] and, as co-founder of [[The Pie]], a major player in the football fanzine revolution of the late 80’s. One of the club’s founding fathers and never knowingly without a tan. Fittingly, therefore, keeper of the [[orange kit|Club Kits]].
[>img[Jim Dees|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/legends_jim%20dees.JPG]]
Jinking Jimmy Dees, a left winger of considerable skill and no little pace. Always smiling, even when opponents used to take it in turns to try and break his legs, which was often. Disappeared abroad for a year in the mid-nineties before returning to the fold shorn of hair and a few pounds lighter. Used to amaze his teammates by rising in the early hours of the morning for a period of meditation and quiet contemplation. [[Fred's|Fred Lowe]] all-time favourite [[Fanzines United]] player, not surprisingly as he protected Lowe Jnr from many a marauding right winger. Disappeared again late 1997, although sadly this time there’s been no return (so far).
''2005 - present''
(Defence/Midfield)
Squad Number: ''16''
[>img[Joe Doorly|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/16%20joe%20doorly.JPG]]
The laugh-a-minute left-back never lets a bad joke spoil a good ending.
| !Season | !Apps | !Goals |
| [[2005-06]] | 21 | 2 |
| [[2006-07]] | 21 | 2 |
| [[2007-08]] | 14 | 1 |
Notorious for suffering sudden and mysterious injuries whenever ‘physical’ opponents were in the offing until one Sunday morning when the league’s hard man (‘Big Darryl’) got his long overdue comeuppance via a Glasgow kiss from the normally mild-mannered Manc. Not strictly within the spirit of the game but, being a Manchester United fan, such minor matters never bothered Birty. Aye, it was a man’s game back in them days!
Masterminded the inauguration of the [[Notts Friendly League|NFFL]] after becoming disillusioned with the bureaucracy of the Notts FA in the early 90’s. Disbanded the league after [[Withern Rangers]] took disciplinary matters quite literally in to their own hands.
John Player Sports & Social Club
Venue for our first ever [[NFFL]] [[Cup Final|Cup Finals]] (a 5-2 defeat to [[John Players]] – home advantage counts for a lot in Cup Finals!) and our first ever piece of silverware (a 2-0 win over [[Bilborough Rockets FC]] in the same competition a year later).
Now a David Lloyd fitness centre. Oh, the irony.
The Chief. Turned his hand to the job of assistant manger after his liking for a beer or twelve on a Saturday night meant he was never able to do himself justice out on the pitch the following morning. [[Famously|The Salsbury Moment]] brought himself on for a run out with just 13 minutes remaining in a game against [[Olympico]] and promptly turned a 5-1 lead into a 6-5 defeat, after which he decided that perhaps management wasn’t for him either. Now just happy to turn up with a pie in each hand and lend his support when the sun’s shining.
''2005 - present''
Goalkeeper
[>img[Woody|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/13%20Woody.jpg]]
Woody. Squads elder statesman, lies about his age. Likes shouting, especially at [[Twiggy|Neil Remzi]].
Lean and mean, Jon’s tongue was as sharp as his eye for goal. Liked to run, with or without the ball, and left his team mates in no doubt as to who was in charge, even when he wasn’t. Left Nottingham to open an independent record shop in that capital of culture, Mansfield. Within six month he was looking for another, somewhat surer business opportunity.
[>img[Jonsy|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/biernat.JPG]]
One season wonder, drafted in by [[Whitts|Chris Whittaker]] from Carlton Catholics to complement the set of 5+ left wingers. Formed an interesting love triangle with [[Jimbo|James Timpson]] and [[Shawy|Rich Shaw]] before returning from whence he came.
| !Season | !Apps | !Goals |
| [[2006-07]] | 15 | 0 |
''Malcolm and Karl Matthews''
Father and son. The younger played, the elder turned up to pass on his advice like an early day version of Clive. Unlike Clive, however, he only had one thing to say, which was “Collect and go reds”. Karl once held up kick-off in a game at Toot Hill to wander to the side of the pitch and projectile vomit the contents of his stomach over the touchline - something [[Whitts|Chris Whittaker]] can only dream of doing. Well, it was the morning after the [[Selectadisc]] Christmas party!
'' 2002 - present ''
(Goalkeeper)
Squad Number: ''1''
[>img[Kip Broughton|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/1%20kip%20broughton.JPG]]
If he looks the part, that's because he is the part. Proof that a quality keeper is a godsend at this level, and with Kip we have truly been blessed. The former Crystal Palace triallist should really be playing at a high level, but as such a thing doesn't exist we may be able to hang on to him for a little while yet.
| !Season | !Apps | !Goals |
| [[2002-03]] | 5 | |
| [[2003-04]] | 15 | |
| [[2004-05]] | 13 | |
| [[2005-06]] | 14 | |
| [[2006-07]] | 19 | |
| [[2007-08]] | 18 | |
/***
|''Name:''|LoadRemoteFileThroughProxy (previous LoadRemoteFileHijack)|
|''Description:''|When the TiddlyWiki file is located on the web (view over http) the content of [[SiteProxy]] tiddler is added in front of the file url. If [[SiteProxy]] does not exist "/proxy/" is added. |
|''Version:''|1.1.0|
|''Date:''|mar 17, 2007|
|''Source:''|http://tiddlywiki.bidix.info/#LoadRemoteFileHijack|
|''Author:''|BidiX (BidiX (at) bidix (dot) info)|
|''License:''|[[BSD open source license|http://tiddlywiki.bidix.info/#%5B%5BBSD%20open%20source%20license%5D%5D ]]|
|''~CoreVersion:''|2.2.0|
***/
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if ((document.location.toString().substr(0,4) == "http") && (url.substr(0,4) == "http")){
url = store.getTiddlerText("SiteProxy", "/proxy/") + url;
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[>img[Lyndon|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/legends_lyndon%20cowlard.JPG]]
Lyndon’s decision to retire from the demands of [[EMPAL]] in 2007 didn't last long, as he dropped down a division to join [[Butler Benfica]], but still resulted in a fair bit of head scratching. [[The Gaffer|Paul Harrison]] had to find someone daft enough to take over the captain’s armband whilst referees county-wide briefly thought that they'd no longer have to worry about having someone else trying to do their job. All of this is perhaps a little unfair, though, on a player whose arrival at the club six seasons ago heralded an upturn in fortunes which continue to this present day. Not that I’m suggesting the two are in any way connected of course. Will perhaps always best be remembered for THAT far post header which secured three vital points against [[Ardley Athletic]] during the 2005-06 march towards promotion, something which he claimed was deliberate but the dying swan impression to avoid collision with the post suggested otherwise. And of course where Lyndon goes, so does Clive follow. Now THAT is a REAL loss to the club…
| !Season | !Apps | !Goals |
| [[2001-02]] | 18 | 1 |
| [[2002-03]] | 20 | 0 |
| [[2003-04]] | 21 | 0 |
| [[2004-05]] | 19 | 0 |
| [[2005-06]] | 20 | 1 |
| [[2006-07]] | 14 | 0 |
[[Home|Fanzines United]]
[[Club Contacts]]
[[Club History]]
[[Club Records]]
[[Fixtures]]
[[Match Reports]]
[[Players]]
[[Appearances]]
[[Seasons]]
[[Places]]
[[Teams]]
[[Competitions]]
[[Club Kits]]
[[Team Photos]]
[[Fanzipedia|Welcome to the Fanzipedia]]
Much like Matthews in 1953, [[Fanzines'|Fanzines United]] perennial sub had a [[Cup Final|Cup Finals]] named after him after [[Ike Smith]] mislaid his shirt and turned up half an hour late for the biggest game of the season (this was pre-Sharon, back in the days when players washed their own kit). Benno bravely stepped into the breach and performed heroically. Without doubt, his finest hour and a half.
''2007 - present''
(Midfield/Defence/Forward)
Squad Number: ''12''
[>img[Mark Buxton|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/12%20mark%20buxton.JPG]] Mr Versatile. Comfortable in any position. A valuable asset to the squad.
| !Season | !Apps | !Goals |
| [[2007-08]] | 10 | 1 |
Another legend, but this time in his own lunchtime. The amiable ‘Rhino’ took up the goalkeeping gloves when there were no other takers and did a fine job without complaining (well, not much anyway). Left to join [[Brooks Villa]] in the Summer of 2003 but his first rate attitude and willingness to help out in all situations will long be remembered and appreciated.
Wander around [[Gresham]] early on a Sunday morning and you can sometimes still hear the cry of “Rainbow’s ball” echoing around the deserted fields. As awesome in the air as he was around the waist line (although I’m sure he would like it pointed out that it was all paid for and, to be fair, by the looks of him nowadays a fair amount has been paid back), Martin was another of those who left to join [[Brooks Villa]] in 2003.
The pen is not mightier than the sword, except when in very close combat, but the traditions of the fanzine movement of the late eighties have been kept alive through the spirited boys-own tales spun by the match report writers of [[Fanzines United]].
Relive the passion, pain and penalty misses by looking back at all the thingies that we have gone 'n' done.
[[Match Reports 2004-05]]
[[Match Reports 2005-06]]
[[Match Reports 2006-07]]
[[Match Reports 2007-08]]
[[Match Reports 2008-09]]
//Fanzines finished just outside of the promotion frame, needing to win our last game of the season to ensure promotion we lost out to [[Notts Athletic]] who came away from [[Gresham]] with a 1-0 victory. Although another season in Division 2 beckoned, Fanzines had shown great improvements and were really looking like a side ready for top flight football...could 2005/6 bring better luck.
Not all match reports are here I'm afraid, the following are all we had saved!//
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Fanzines United 4 Kellys NTL 0
EMPAL Cup 2nd Round
31st October 2004
A victory as comfortable as the scoreline suggests but one achieved without the overall level of performance being anywhere near as good as it has been over recent weeks. A lackadaisical approach prior to kick-off manifested itself in a first half performance which had both Lowe and Harrison adding to their grey hairs despite headed goals from Whitts and Daz.
A half-time blast from The Gaffer saw an improved second half display with both first half scorers doubling their tally in the second half. Whitts met a pin-point corner from Dan at the far post to join Graham Gilbert at the top of the club scoring charts while Daz’s second was a spectacular drive into the roof of the net from outside the box in the final minutes. Jonesy would, I’m sure, like it to be known that he added a further two assists to his impressive tally for the season - it’s just a pity that it’s only the Americans who bother with such things. The aforementioned Gilbert was in an unusually charitable mood in front of goal, taking pity on spirited and hard working but ultimately lacking opponents by missing a hatful of chances. One effort when clean through ended up nearer the corner flag, enabling the left footed liability to join his mucker Gareth (against Keyworth Plough) in an early contender for the Miss of the Season award. Still, as Clive remarked in his usual charitable manner, better he misses them when it doesn’t matter than against more ‘able’ opposition. Kip earned his first, and surely easiest, clean sheet of the season, gaining just reward for another early morning run up the M1 while credit must also got to the back four - Dave, Whitts, Fred and James – who performed so resolutely in front of him.
The only black spot was an injury to Lyndon five minutes from time, the tackle which caused it being so bad that the skipper was in no fit state to complain to the referee about it. Still, it at least allowed The Gaffer a five minute cameo and he didn’t disappoint, perfecting a shimmy and turn - not to mention waistline - reminiscent of the great Alfredo di Stefano (ask your dad).
So, onwards and upwards into the last 16 and Daz’s dream (potential title for the obligatory cup final record should we go all the way?) of a good cup run continues. Who will we get in the next round? Well, the draw is due to be made at the next secretary’s meeting later this month so expect news from Graham sometime in the new year, but whoever it is we’ll have to up our level of performance to keep ‘Daz’s Dream’ (yep, I like it) alive.
[[FC Olympico]] 2 Fanzines United 2
EMPAL Division Two
7th November 2004
Kicking off half an hour late because the opposition can’t be bothered to turn up on time is annoying (although James was no doubt grateful), especially when it happens against the same team two seasons running. It’s also annoying when you then create countless chances but have to settle for a share of the spoils, but on Sunday mornings that’s just the way things sometimes go.
After opening up with 20 minutes of pretty decent football and bossing the game, Graham Gilbert laid the ghost of Kellys NTL to rest with a finish into the bottom corner and all looked rosy. In fact, such was the excitement on the touchline that The Gaffer raised a smile and John Salsbury decided to forgo his return visit to the burger van, deciding instead to let the referee stroll (with stroll being very much the operative word) unopposed to the ‘one pie too many’ award. Patrolling the game from his vantage area ten yards either side of the halfway line the man quite literally ‘in the middle’ then decided to add a touch of sauce to the footballing feast over which he was presiding, first disallowing a goal from GG for a push when the defender slipped and then ignoring a blatant elbow on Whitts to let Olympico break away to equalise. The failure/inability of said man in black to keep anywhere near up with play was to lead to more controversy five minutes from time when Goals had a close range finish ruled out after an Olympico defender had impeded his own keeper.
By then the claret and amber had retaken the lead with a header from Weller’s mate after good work from Whitts, Lyndon and Dave, only to lose it again 15 minutes from time due to poor marking from an in swinging corner. However, the game should have been out of the home side’s reach well before their second equaliser and the tally of near misses was topped off in surreal fashion when Lyndon of all people had a last minute header cleared off the line. Which, in hindsight, is probably a good thing for those of us who think he talks too much as it is. With the big ‘local derby’ against free-scoring Brooks Villa coming up the need to treat the goal scoring boots with a bit of TLC has never been more evident.
[[Brooks Villa]] 1 Fanzines United 2
EMPAL Division Two
14th November 2004
A victory as hard earned as they come. Brooks’ pre-game optimism was understandable, with an aggressive Summer recruitment policy being rewarded with a flying start to the season. Things may have been somewhat quieter in the Fanzines camp but with those remaining finally sorting work patterns and getting over early season injuries to return to the fold the nucleus of what was a very good side last season remains in place. And it was that extra ‘togetherness’ and willingness to play for each other which was probably the deciding factor in a game between two evenly matched teams.
Despite losing Courtney to a freak dislocated thumb injury on the Saturday night, the claret and amber still had a squad of 14 to choose from for the first time this season. As this required the use of more than two hands to work out formation and tactics, Andy and The Gaffer were seen undertaking much head scratching before finally deciding on a plan of action and naming the starting eleven a full ten minutes before kick-off. Rich Shaw was called upon after a heavy night out to provide cover for James, whose brave effort to play through an ankle injury came to a premature end after a quarter of an hour. Fortunately, however, this allowed just enough time for the aforementioned Mr Shaw to turn up for his second game of the season, necessitating a re-write of his player pen pic.
With Brooks playing both their much-vaunted Boots Athletic strikers, the renewal of the ‘brick wall’ partnership of Ravo and Gareth could not have occurred at a better time and they were superb in a first half when the opposition took advantage of both the wind and the sun to pile on the pressure. Ably supported by the two full backs, a wall of four midfielders - whose tireless efforts at tracking back and doubling up was a crucial factor - and a goalkeeper on top of his game, the yellow tide could find no way through and it was on a rare break forward that the lead was snatched. Good hold up play by Daz led to a free-kick being given out wide on the left and the quick thinking Graham Gilbert played in an inch perfect cross which was met by the head of the equally quick thinking Goals before the static Brooks defence had chance to react. 1-0.
The equaliser arrived 10 minutes before half-time as Brooks finally made something from one of their countless long throws, Kip reacting brilliantly to turn aside a close range shot, unfortunately straight into the path of ex-Fanziner Paul Hallam who couldn’t miss from six yards. All to play for at half-time and after a positive team talk the management duo were confident that the tide would turn, and so it proved.
The second half was almost a mirror image of the first with the away side on top, led by the unselfish and phenomenal work rate of Gilbert and Heithus up front. It was no surprise when the two combined for the winning goal, Daz robbing Chris Ward on halfway before running on and pulling the ball back to Goals ON HIS RIGHT FOOT! Cue momentary panic on the touchline before the club’s all-time top scorer did the sensible thing and rolled the ball back to Graham whose scuffed shot bobbled its way merrily into the bottom corner, giving the keeper no chance.
More chances went begging as Brooks’ keeper proved himself full value for his side’s man of the match award and the game remained in the balance right until the final whistle. However, apart from a third and final extravagent attempt by Ibbi to persuade the referee that football is a non-contact sport, heart stopping moments in front of Kip’s goal were few and far between as the two banks of four provided the ever-reliable custodian with a solid shield and the two forwards held the ball up at every opportunity to deny Brooks any forward momentum and chance for one last big push. Much delight from the travelling fans at the final whistle and the reward of three points for a team whose composed and professional approach to the 90 minutes deserved just that.
Fanzines United 2 [[Inter FB]] 2
EMPAL Division Two
21st November 2004
With the hitherto unimaginable dilemma of a squad of 14 to choose from and James recovering after a night of cheap vodka and expensive women (that is the right way round isn’t it James?!), Andy and The Gaffer went for the easy option and - with the exception of Stuart in for the on-duty Kip - decided to start with the eleven which had completed much of the match (thanks Dunc!) against Brooks Villa. It was perhaps, then, not surprising to witness a largely defensive performance for the opening half-hour which was most notable for a period of some fifteen minutes during which the referee appeared to give every free-kick the way of the opposition. Stuart’s frustration at this perceived show of one-sided officialdom boiled over after a hefty challenge which saw him bundled over but play waved on. A vociferous and continued questioning of the man in blacks eye sight ended with the Notts FA eight quid better off and the clubs fair play reputation in tatters. The custodian’s decision to then take things out on Gareth was perhaps a little harsh, but the G-man manfully rose to his feet after a swift right hook from Gadders left him pole axed and nursing a nasty cut to the head. A liberally administered dollop of vaseline from Dave’s at-hand tub thankfully negated the need for any further treatment, although questions remain answered as to why Dave was carrying around his own supply of said ointment.
Saved by first a goal line clearance from Jonesy and then the crossbar, things were not looking too good until, maybe subconsciously (or even consciously!) fearful of one of The Gaffer’s infamous half-time rollockings, those in claret and amber upped their game in the ten minutes preceding the whistle, forcing two fine saves from the Inter keeper. As it was, the management duo still demanded more from their chargers and within 30 seconds of the re-start their words had effect, an incisive move down the left ending with Graham Gilbert’s pinpoint cross being slid in by Daz from six yards. Unfortunately the lead didn’t last long, confusion and a momentary lapse in concentration at a long throw letting in Inters nippy number 9 for the equaliser which trickled agonisingly into the net despite Stuart doing well to get a good hand on it. Happily, the response was almost immediate, with GG bursting into the box before being upended in spectacular fashion, leaving the referee with one of the easiest penalty decisions he’s ever likely to have to make. The club’s top scorer picked himself up, wiped the mud from his knees and buried the spot kick with nonchalant ease.
Unlike the recent game against Olympico, taking the lead served as a catalyst for Fanzines to play their best football of the match but, although chances to put the game to bed were plentiful, none of them were taken, which proved to be two points costly when the away side netted their second equaliser some ten minutes from time. The Gaffer and Inter’s burly centre-half exchanged pleasantries near the touchline and, after a short tete-a-tete over facial hair and whose waistline owed most to Mr Pukka, the man sans beard shanked a fifty yard free-kick into the heart of a Fanzines defence which at first didn’t seem to know whether to laugh or cry. Sadly, tears became the only option as the ball broke free and, after what seemed like a lifetime of mis-kicks and a near point-blank save from Gadders, a looping header dropped under the bar and into the corner of the net.
So a share of the spoils against a team who’d beaten us 3-1 only five weeks earlier and the unbeaten record stretched to four games, but the feeling in the changing room afterwards was one of disappointment at not being able to close the gap on those above us. Still, we are proving hard to beat and, as the great Brian Clough used to preach, good teams are built on solid foundations - get things right at the back and the rest will eventually fall into place.
Fanzines United 2 [[Euro Sports Bar]] 2
EMPAL Division Two
5th December 2004
Speculation was rife among the Fanzines squad on the morning of the game; no not the reason behind the managers continued absence but whether Chris Whittaker would smile or not. As it happened no one seemed too bothered about Andy’s whereabouts and Whitts never stopped smiling. The Gaffer took the reins again and was rewarded with a selection dilemma, albeit a good one. Youngpup James (a man of the match contender without even playing) was enjoying a well earned rest while Dan was loved up/under the thumb and Courtney returned to his retirement home. In came Gareth, Ravo, Daz and - fresh from his second mid-season break - a bronzed Aidy Jones who was destined to brighten up the bench with his golden tan. A bit of tweaking with the formation saw Dave and Fred revert to full-backs while Gareth and Ravo resumed their centre-half partnership, Whitts pushed forward into midfield with Rich Shaw and Goals flying down the flanks. Duncan was stuck on the bench and when asked to warm up responded by putting a coat on!!
The opposition were very slow to appear but when they did eventually line-up they appeared to have a very strong side out. And so it proved. Ten minutes into the game and we were 1-0 down. A sluggish start was punished when Lyndon’s cross field back pass was intercepted and well and truly buried past a despairing Kip. It looked like being one of those days but we responded well and settled down instead of panicking. In fact, the claret and amber raised the tempo and there were plenty of gaps at the back for Graham, Garry Goals, and Daz to exploit. Sure enough the three were at the centre of things a few minutes later when we drew level. Weller’s mate received the ball and managed to flick it through to the paunchy policeman who calmly beat the defender and keeper to slot home a well deserved equaliser.
So, 1-1 after 20 minutes and the rest of the half saw Fanzines carve out some good chances. Good talking and patient build up play proved to be the key as we continued to soak up the pressure at the back and looked to expose the opposition’s frailties in defence. Probably the best chance fell to Goals who found himself through on goal but as he steadied himself to surely score the ball took a nasty bobble and his shot blazed over the bar. The keeper then flung himself across goal to keep out Graham’s curling free-kick, turning it behind for a corner, before a blow arrived with a recurrence of Daz’s groin injury, although he managed to soldier on until half-time. At the other end Kip was in commanding form and his handling was excellent, especially from corners and crosses. The back four were now under the cosh and a brilliant save from Kip kept it level as he stood tall to stop a point blank header. Fred then sustained a bad knock and it looked like we were hanging on until taking the lead with a couple of minutes to go to half-time. A deep corner from Graham saw a smiling Whitts bundle the ball over the line at the back post.
Changes had to be made at the break as Dunc came on for Daz and Aidy Jones would soon be swapping his snug tracksuit for a right wing slot as Fred struggled to recover. Everyone seemed up for the second half and knew that we would have to dig in and battle hard if we were to take all three points. The second 45 was indeed a battle but we showed that we were up to the task and everyone played their part as ESB piled on the pressure. A couple of goal-line clearances, some more great saves from the magnificent Kip and excellent defending from the back four kept us in the lead. Whitts was immense in the centre of midfield but we just couldn’t break or keep hold of the ball. A combination of an extremely flag-happy linesman and some poor refereeing would eventually cost us dear. Poor old Lyndon conceded a penalty as the pressure proved too much but to describe it as harsh would be an understatement to say the least. Kip guessed right but couldn’t keep the ball out and ESB drew level at 2-2. This was especially hard to take as just beforehand Graham had had a great opportunity to put us further in front as he went one on one with the keeper who unfortunately out guessed Fanzines' star striker.
Both teams tried to find a winner but we stood firm and a stoic performance was rewarded with a very hard earned point. The whole team realised what a tough battle we’d been in and it’s a testament to how far the team has progressed that we extended our unbeaten run to six matches. There is a great team spirit within the squad but there is also a determination now to help each other out and work as a unit. This was proved by everyone’s willingness to play out of position when required or volunteering to be substitute. This season has shown that we are a tough side to beat and our resilience is now coming to the fore. This maturity had led me to consider awarding the man of the match award to the whole team but unfortunately the captain’s performance cost his fellow team mates! And, despite my preference to award it to James (despite his not playing) I had to give it to Kip for an awesome display under so much pressure. Finally, I’d like to thank the whole squad for two good games and two really strong performances. It was great to see a happy smiling Chris Whittaker before and after the game, especially with the prospect of taking over the captaincy from the deposed Lyndon!!! Keep up the good work lads.
''[[Notts Athletic]] 1 Fanzines United 0''
EMPAL Division Two
12th December 2004
[img[http://photos-c.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sctm/v124/124/57/788762663/n788762663_281550_1453.jpg]]
Lucky seven? Not for the claret and amber as the six game unbeaten run came to an end after a keenly fought contest against second-placed Notts Athletic at Alford Road. The news of a last minute change in referee due to the original appointee being “too drunk to travel” was to have ramifications later in the game but we at least managed to complete 90 minutes, something which was beyond Rose and Crown and Brooks Villa on the pitch next to us who had their game, also sans referee, abandoned after a player on player assault in the 15th minute.
With Daz, Fred and Courtney all failing fitness tests, James recovering from his works night out and Rich in bed after a night spent locking up criminals, the starting eleven picked itself. Unfortunately, a recurrence of Goals’ groin injury after ten minutes necessitated a panic call to Rich who responded in fine style, turning up just 20 minutes later despite mistakenly going first to Gresham. Not a bad response time by any accounts but it could have been so much better had he initially chosen foot ahead of car - Rich lives just 200 yards from Alford Road!
By his arrival we were a goal down, Athletic’s burly striker reacting first to a loose ball in the box to beat Kip from 8 yards for what proved to be the match winner. He then somehow escaped a booking after punching a cross into the net 10 minutes later, a baffling non-decision from the referee which was to prove crucial later in the game when the same player took a flying kick at Gareth from behind, an assault made even worse by his comment - clearly audible 40 yards away on the touchline - that it was in retaliation for a clean challenge made by the g-man seconds earlier. Although the yellow card was produced it should have meant a sending off bearing in mind the earlier indiscretion. In fact it should have been a straight red anyway, and further questions were asked about the relationship between the ref and ‘Tank’ when he escaped a ticking off for kicking the ball away by some distance later in the game. Add to this another clear failure to implement the laws of the game when GG was brought down by a Notts defender on the very edge of the box when clean through and we should have seen out the last quarter of an hour playing against 9 men.
Even with a two man advantage, however, it remains a far from forgone conclusion that the ball would have found its way into the back of the net. Post, bar and frantic goal line defending all played their part in ensuring we finished a game scoreless for the first time this season but it was a lack of conviction when presented with a shooting opportunity which cost us most dear. For a goalkeeper who looked anything but Athletic, Notts’ custodian was not given enough to do, causing an exasperated Andy to issue the non-too-subtle instruction of “just hit the bloody thing” as time ticked on. Even the introduction of The Gaffer as a bulldozing centre-forward failed to find a way through, with Whitts’ injury time effort flying agonisingly wide to epitomise all that had gone before and confirm there was to be no reward for a second half of almost total domination.
So, a first taste of defeat for two months but no reason to panic. After a slow start all round the whole-hearted commitment from each and every player was unquestionable as we went on to control the game for long periods. The back five were as resolute as ever and the midfield, when they got going, bossed proceedings. On another day we could have run out winners by two or three clear goals but in a game when clear scoring opportunities were few and far between, it was Notts’ ability to take one of only a couple which came their way which ultimately proved the difference.
Fanzines United 1 [[Chequers]] 1
EMPAL Division Two
9th January 2005
Down to the bare bones and several of those were struggling to be fit. Doubts over Lyndon, Whitts and Fred (that’s fitness, not ability) with no subs led for a worrying start. However, Fanzines started brightly and everyone gave their all to keep Chequers at bay. Once we’d settled we tried to open the opposition up and their defence looked very shaky. We were rewarded after 17 minutes when G11 had a speculative shot that took a wicked deflection and looped over the goalkeeper and in – Happy New Year! Whitts then had to come off for a few moments while he tried to sort out his breathing and it was with some relief for The Gaffer that Dan turned up to be twelfth man, although the blonde bombshell manfully returned to action.
Half an hour in and Dave played a fantastic ball round the back of the defence and only a blatant foul denied G11 his second. However, justice was not done as Graham’s spot kick was saved by the keeper as appointed spot-kicker Dan stood frustrated on the sidelines. A poor effort, although it has to be said that without G11’s goals this season we would be a lot worse off. However, do not let this man near a spot kick again! A couple of great saves from Kip and some resolute defending by a solid back four then saw the walking wounded through to half-time. Fred was by now really struggling, as were Whitts and Lyndon, but they all agreed to soldier on with sole sub Dan not being 100% fit either.
Another bright start saw Rich Shaw have a couple of half chances but then after an initial burst we seemed to tire and for the next fifteen minutes Chequers put us under a lot of pressure. We looked to have survived when they were awarded a very generous penalty for handball against Dave, which was duly converted. Cue extreme disappointment and to compound matters Fred only lasted 20 minutes of the second 45 before hobbling off to be replaced by Dan. A little reshuffle saw Whitts go back to centre half and Rich play in the centre and Dan on the left of midfield. Both teams looked for a winner but there were no real chances at either end apart from speculative shots from Lyndon, G11 and Dan.
The game ended a little ill-tempered with their forward virtually sitting on Kip, which incensed everyone, but Chequers perhaps deserved a point after seeing out the last 10 minutes with 10 men after running out of subs. We needed more of an attacking option but it just didn’t happen, a fact made even the more frustrating with Garry Goals stood on the touchline and Daz injured. All in all, it was a hard fought point under the circumstances but – as I said at half-time – we need to start winning games. Applicants for the penalty takers job see Andy or myself immediately!
Man of the match – Rich Shaw.
[[Butler United]] 1 Fanzines United 2
EMPAL Division Two
16th January 2005
A return to the EMPAL outpost of Cropwell Butler saw what is fast becoming a happy hunting ground for the claret and amber yield another three points. After the early season defeat of Chequers at the same venue, Fanzines returned hoping that the much promised new changing facilities would at last be in situ. Alas, there was no such luxury awaiting the merry band of men, just the old familiar wooden hut and not a drop of running water in sight. However, with old school plastic chairs at a premium and the air being warmer outside than in, it did at least mean there was plenty of time for warm up and team talk, where Andy and The Gaffer hatched their master plan of playing five in midfield to counteract Butler’s fluent passing game on what must surely be the league’s widest pitch. With Kip working, Fred not fully recovered from his back injury and Duncan unable to venture more than ten yards from a toilet, Stuart, Gareth and Goals all returned to the starting eleven with Courtney taking a place on the subs bench after recovering from his pre-Christmas ankle injury.
Composure reigned supreme straight from kick-off with the away side treating the ball like a long lost lover, caressing and stroking with tenderness while Butler looked on enviously, groping aimlessly for the most fleeting of touches. Twenty minutes gone and with the home side unable to break through the well-marshalled ranks lined up across the centre of the pitch, voices were raised and changes in formation made but all to no avail as within 5 minutes G11 had been upended for a clear penalty. Less transparent was the identity of the taker. After his unfortunate miss the previous week, Graham’s decision to keep things in the family and hand the ball to James came as a surprise to all but Andy, who had identified the clubs youngest - and therefore most fearless - as a “good striker of a dead ball”. And so he proved to be, in just the same way as did Chris Waddle at Italia ’90. Still, an encroachment by a Butler players who was a little too keen in wanting to shake hands with James and congratulate him on a job well done meant a re-take and this time the young left-back made no mistake, showing great character to step up again before cheekily planting his kick against the keeper and knocking in the rebound to register a goal from open play as his debut strike for the club.
In a dastardly move unseen by anyone connected with the club, Butler then replaced the match ball with a hot potato before kicking-off again, meaning that for the next five minutes nobody in a Fanzines shirt wanted anything to do with it and Stuart was called upon to make a brave save at the feet of the home sides centre-forward as he broke clean through. The half-time whistle thankfully brought a change back to more familiar playing apparatus and for 25 minutes the same pattern of play emerged, with the claret and amber hordes leaving not an inch of turf uncovered as they closed down their opponents at every turn. If a goal was to come it was surely to be from a set piece as long throws and corners played into the box via a more than helpful change in wind direction and speed began to cause concern and so it proved, Whitts and Stuart being beaten to a flick-on to allow a close range finish. However, the celebrations of the home side and their ever growing legion of supporters were not to last long as within five minutes the visitors retook the lead, Garry Goals taking advantage of hesitant defending to steady himself and work the ball onto his trusty left foot before finishing emphatically from six yards.
By now James had gone off after taking a nasty but accidental boot in the face to be replaced by the world’s youngest looking 38 year-old (that’s Courtney if you’re in any doubt) and it wasn’t long before Gareth too was limping off after falling awkwardly, Fred manfully stepping up to the plate and filling in at centre-half despite not being 100%. Having replaced two of the back four, Andy and The Gaffer exchanged a worried glance but no more, confidence in the more than adequate replacements as well as those already out on the field giving much optimism that the lead would be held. And so it was. In fact, as the clock ticked on it was the away side who came closest to scoring again, Rich Shaw being denied by a fine save after a surging run, Goals having another close range effort ruled out for offside and Fred planting a free header wide from six yards when it looked easier to score. The final whistle brought much delight as three points were secured for the first time since mid-November. Outstanding performances were many, in fact too many to mention, and the man of the match award is an exceptionally tough one. However, after the accusations of ‘bottling it’ which followed the all for one award against Brooks Villa, there has to be a chosen one and his name is… Graham Gilbert for an unselfish performance full of tireless running, movement and discipline as two great lumbering lumps spent much of Sunday morning trying to pull, grab and kick him at every available opportunity. Not only that, but he had the common sense to hand the penalty kick to James, for which we were all (eventually) grateful!
Fanzines United 7 [[Brooks Villa]] 1
EMPAL Division Two
23rd January 2005
That’s right, 7 (seven). It’s not a typo. A result that borders on the surreal but, in all honesty, by the time the final whistle blew was more or less reflective of how the game had gone. But with 25 minutes on the watch, the score at 1-1 and the home side not being allowed to settle into their preferred passing game, anyone suggesting the margin of victory would have ended up anything like it did would have been carried off in a straight jacket. Gareth and Daz both failed Friday fitness tests and James had to pull out just fifteen minutes before kick-off after a troublesome stiff back refused to ease up. With the choice all but made for them, Andy and The Gaffer showed loyalty and stuck with the same eleven and formation which had ended the game at Butler United. Familiarity then sensationally bred the opening goal within 60 seconds of kick-off, G11 acrobatically hooking home after Courtney’s throw had been flicked on. However, the dream start for the home side served only to increase the games tempo further, which seemed to suit Brooks more than their hosts. It was therefore of little surprise and in truth no more than the visitors deserved when ex-Fanziner Paul Hallam bundled the ball in at the far post after Stuart had reacted well to palm out a close range effort from a long throw.
Much celebration from the men in yellow but it was to be virtually the last time they had cause to raise a smile. Within five minutes G11 had been bundled over in the box, leaving the referee with no option but to point to the spot. The Fanzines penalty lottery continued as captain for the day Whitts stepped up to try his luck, but his numbers proved to be as useless as those chosen by Graham and James and his penalty was saved. Thankfully, Goals had used all his experience to realise what was about to happen (the inevitable!) and followed up to clip in the rebound as Chris stood motionless in statuesque horror. With half-time looming and the management duo preparing a ‘talking to’, Jonesy’s perfectly flighted corner found Ravo’s head and Fanzines all-time record signing stooped to make it 3-1. To say he was delighted would be something of an understatement, in fact it was thanks to the half-time whistle that his congratulating team mates didn’t have to chase him all the way to Wilford.
With a two-goal spread the team talk was forthright rather then ferocious but there was no denying the validity of the wake up rollicking delivered by Stuart after Brooks took advantage of indecision on the edge of the box to send a shot inches wide, this barely a minute after the keeper had bailed out his team mates after more lack of conviction. As the custodian himself so eloquently pointed out, “Once is crap, twice is unacceptable”. Seemingly fearful of more tongue-lashings, the claret and amber did indeed wake up and promptly went down the field to make it 4-1, Goals turning and twisting in the box before slotting home with his RIGHT foot.
From then on it was one-way traffic as Fanzines at last found the confidence to open up their opponents at will with a precision passing game which at times was a joy to watch. Ironically it was a route one ball from Fred to Whitts that enabled the blonde bombshell to atone for his earlier gaff and loft the ball over the advancing Fairholme for the fifth. Dan and Duncan came on to enjoy a run out in the Winter sun, Goals being replaced minutes after fluffing a chance to bag his hat-trick but before any sign of a recurrence of his groin injury. With an important cup game next week and an ever lengthening injury list within the squad, this was not the time for taking unnecessary risks. After being denied one cast iron penalty when Rich Shaw rounded the keeper only to be tripped six yards from goal, the referee could hardly contain his mirth as G11 was bear-hugged by a Brooks defender to within an inch of a broken rib cage. Club penalty-taker Dan - at last finding himself in the right place at the right time, i.e. actually on the pitch - looked quizzically towards an equally puzzled management duo on the touchline as Graham himself decide to take the spot-kick, but if you haven’t the confidence to take one when 5-1 up, ten minutes to go and John Salsbury nowhere to be seen, when do you have. Anyway, keeper went one way, ball went the other and for the first time in five attempts we’d managed to bury a spot kick. Eat your heart out David Beckham.
There was just enough time left for Dan to get his goal, bursting free down the left before picking his spot low and hard into the bottom corner before the final whistle brought an end to a hugely satisfying if not always convincing performance. Overall, however, a deserved three points they undoubtedly were and for the first time this season two league wins on the bounce. There were decent displays all over the pitch, from a dependable and resolute back five who kept the dangerous Gordon and Gill at arms length through a midfield five (plus two) who never shied from the responsibility of working both ways and did so with admirable effect, to the lone striker who once again pulled defenders here, there and everywhere. It’s a tough decision, and one in an ideal world I wouldn’t have to make. But the squad insists on just one name, and for the second time in three weeks that name is Richard Shaw. Football. It’s a funny old game sometimes.
Fanzines United 2 [[Fox and Crown]] 4
EMPAL Cup
23rd January 2005
Last sixteen of the Cup and a real David v Goliath clash as Fanzines took on reigning First Division champions Fox and Crown. With five squad members missing (for one reason or another, Dan!) it was down to the bare bones of an eleven, with The Gaffer and Andy dressing as emergency subs. After much deliberation it was decided Lyndon would fill the graveyard slot at left-back, with Jonesy moving in to the centre and Dunc coming in on the right of a midfield five. The Fox and Crown line-up included five players from the old John Player Sports and Social team, long-time nemesis of Fanzines from their Notts Friendly League days, although nowadays a few more grey hairs are in evidence! Both teams started nervously and neither goalkeeper had much to do until Kip found himself beaten by a deflected shot at his near post after 20 minutes to give the visitors the lead. Not ten further minutes had elapsed, however, before G11 found himself with time and space to place an excellent equaliser over the advancing keeper. By now there was little ebb and flow about the game as both midfields stood firm and a share of the spoils at half-time looked a dead cert. Less than five minutes before the break, however, and Crown’s centre forward took advantage of a lucky deflection and ricochet to slip the ball beyond Kip from a one-on-one situation.
Andy voiced his disappointment at what he saw as a lack of real passion and desire, with too many challenges not being made and 50/50 balls not being won. In short, while acknowledging we were up against a team who were physically superior and quicker, the opinion of the management team was that we were still capable of upping or game and producing a cup shock. And in fairness, up our game in the second half we did. Crown had obviously marked Graham out as the danger man during their half-time chinwag and their man mountain of a centre-half began the second 45 as though he wasn’t against the idea of breaking the odd leg in his team’s cause, two challenges within 30 seconds of each other producing uproar from those on the touchline and a verbal lashing for the referee from Lyndon after his failure to produce a card. With neither side giving an inch it always looked likely that a piece of individual magic would turn the game and so it proved, Crown’s number nine skipping past three challenges before curling an exquisite left-footer beyond the despairing Kip and into the corner. There then followed an honest exchange of views between Fred and Clive, with neither leaving much doubt as to how they felt, Clive suggesting that a tackle should have been made while Fred ‘politely’ suggesting that Clive keep his opinions to himself. If nothing else, it proved they both care!
Still, heads did not go down and a piece of skill reminiscent of Ronaldinho from Dave Greenwood brought the claret and amber back to within a goal with fourteen minutes left on the watch. Out wide on the right he noticed the keeper slightly off his line and chipped exquisitely beyond his despairing reach into the far corner. Either that or it was an over hit cross that got lucky and floated in on the breeze. Anyway, game on. Duncan had a shot saved at close range by the Crown custodian, a header from Whitts was cleared off the line and G11 had a free-kick tipped over when another couple of inches to the keepers right would surely have seen the scores level. With the game now really opening up Kip produced two magnificent saves at the other end as both midfields started to create rather than destruct. On the touchline, too, things were really heating up, Andy being accused of teaching his team to dive by a Fox and Crown supporting spectator, a comment which had Courtney laughing out loud while the accused somehow managed to hold his tongue.
With both teams trading blow for blow (metaphorically, if not physically) it was now a classic cup tie and great to watch, which made it sad that the final word went to the referee and an outrageously poor penalty decision. Seven minutes to go and a break in to the box by Crown’s flying left winger is ended in sumptuous fashion by a perfectly timed tackle from Dave. No appeals, but the referee points to the spot. Kip, normally the most mild-mannered of individuals, goes ballistic, as do others. Some just stand in disbelief. The penalty is dispatched in expert fashion, just beyond the reach of Kips despairing finger tips, and the cup dream is over for another season. An improved performance in the second half deserved the taking of the game in to extra-time, and much credit all round for standing up to some robust spoiling tactics (have we ever been awarded as many free-kicks for fouls in game?) from a side who seemingly came expecting a much easier game than they got. Man of the match is nip and tuck between Ravo and Dave, both of who were excellent throughout, with the final nod going to Dave as reward for a serious of solid performances at full back over the past couple of months. A result from which we can take great heart, but one which still leaves the niggling feeling, for this scribe at least, of an opportunity lost.
[[Ardley Athletic]] 4 - Fanzines United 0
EMPAL Division Two
6th March 2005
Reality dawned on a cold, clear March morning. Dreams of promotion received a sobering blow against a strong & talented Ardley team, whose current league position belies the fact that they retain the nucleus of a side that has spent time in the First Division in the last few seasons. Fanzines however were largely undone by their own sluggishness following a five week lay off and by the sloppy way they approached the game, underestimating both the opponents and the conditions. The game started scrappily on the boggy bitch, preventing any fluency in passing and movement. Neither side created any real chances, but the workrate of the Ardley side was noticeably more impressive and they consistently threatened to break down the flanks on either side. After half-an-hour the deadlock was broken. Ardley's striker attacked down the Fanzines left, outpacing James and cutting inside Fred and Ravo before steadying himself and firing a shot…..which was heading towards the corner flag before it ricocheted of Greenwood's stuttering shins and flopped into the corner. A stroke of ill fortune, but one from which Fanzines never recovered. Moves consistently broke down. Passes were underhit or looped out of play. A rare half-chance for G11 thudded into the keeper's chest. Then just before half-time the Ardley right-midfielder completed an impressive 45 minutes by surging through the exposed defence and burying the ball in the bottom corner. Two-nil at the break.
A shellshocked team attempted to regroup but, without the tactical insights and motivational skills of the management duo, it was difficult to know where to start. What do you do when the whole team is playing badly? The answer would be to increase the workrate and communication, and to make sure that the rare chances were taken when they came along. But the story of the season has been one of missed chances and, as Dan blazed over and G11 had a couple of one-on-ones saved by the keeper during a rare spell of control and dominance, it became clear that this was not going to be the game that bucked the trend. And then it was all over. Another Ardley break down the left exposed the frailties of the Fanzines defence as tackles were missed and the ball was bundled over the line. And minutes later 3 became 4 as Ardley exploited the spaces between midfield and defence, chipping the ball down the channel for the striker to amble forward and calmly loop the ball over Kip's outstretched fingers. This was a game that Fanzines could, and perhaps should, have won. Certainly, Fanzines had more clear cut chances but the commitment and teamwork that had served them so well so far this season was noticeably absent. The season is not over however and with two back-to-back games looming against the league leaders there is still a chance to expunge the memory of the most lacklustre display of the year so far.
[[Pheasant Inn]] 1 Fanzines United 2
EMPAL Division Two
20th March 2005
A trip down memory lane for the old-timers as we visited the Goose Fair site for the first time in many a year for a crucial fixture against the league leaders. The Gaffer suffered despair then delight as news of James’ withdrawal with a sprained ankle was tempered by Whitts passing a late fitness test. After the Ardley debacle the management duo decided on a switch back to the old faithful 4-5-1 formation, a decision which found much favour with Lyndon after he’d seen the size of the pitch - surely the biggest we’ve played on this season. With Kip working, Stuart took up his place between the pipes while Fred filled in at left back, Gareth coming in for his first start for two months. A strong squad was completed with the more than useful options of Daz, Dunc and Courtney on the bench. Andy recalled memories of previous performances at Brooks Villa and Butler United in his team talk, asking for a repeat in discipline, effort and endeavour, which is exactly what he got.
A tight opening twenty minutes saw Fanzines struggle to adjust to the huge pitch but, just as it looked as though we were doing so, a well flighted ball in from the right saw Pheasant’s centre-forward out-jump Stu and loop his header into the unguarded net. The home sides muted celebrations suggested they expected an easy ride from then on in but it was to prove far from the case as the away side dominated the last 15 minutes of the half, getting a well-deserved equaliser as Goals’ deft header from G11’s cross wrong-footed the keeper and nestled in the bottom corner. ‘More of the same’ was the message at half-time and the claret and amber delivered with bells on, pinning Pheasant in their own half for long periods with some marvellously measured possession football.
The central midfield trio were dominant and it was no surprise when Rich burst through and kept his feet, despite a desperate lunge from Pheasant’s lumbering centre-half, to poke the ball past the static keeper. Frustratingly, however, Rich’s delight at opening his Fanzines account was swiftly curtailed by an over zealous referee who had blown for a spot-kick just as the ball entered the net. A bizarre decision, made worse by two factors: 1 - the defender remained on the pitch despite being by some margin the last man and, 2 - we naturally missed the penalty, G11 doing his best Chris Waddle impression and blazing high over the angle. However, rather than unsettle it seemed only to strengthen our resolve and justice was done some ten minutes later, a great run down the left by Goals allowing him to return the favour from the first half and G11 to atone for his earlier miss by getting in front of his man and enough on the ball to turn home the pinpoint cross.
By this time Lyndon’s persistent insistence that he knew the rules better than the referee had earned him a yellow card - and Clive a £14 fine. Daz was brought on to add a bit of muscle up front and within minutes he’d gone on a typically determined run down the right, only a despairing outstretched Pheasant boot preventing his cross being met by either of the onrushing Graham or Rich. At the other end Stuart had been a spectator for much of the second 45 but had to be at his best late on to make three crucial saves and preserve his unbeaten record in a Fanzines jersey this season as the home side pressed for the equaliser. But with Ravo and Gareth at their imperious best there was to be no way back for the hosts and it was Whitts who came close to adding a third with a brave diving header as the visitors safely played out the last few minutes.
The final whistle brought smiles all round - well almost, Lyndon was still trying to take the referee to task over his interpretation of the rules - and the realisation that a first home defeat of the season for Pheasant has left the title race wide open. Man of the match? As previously stated the midfield central trio snubbed out any attempts by Pheasant to play through us and long balls were dealt with comfortably by G’n’R. Dave Greenwood continues to impress and improve as a full back (I just know I’m going to regret writing that!) while there were 1+1’s for the hard working Goals and Graham. Add to that a keeper who kept awake and made saves at crucial times, Fred who slotted in at left back as though he’d never been away and Jonesy who started slowly but blossomed in the second half, getting involved, putting in tackles and generally looking as though he’d rediscovered his early season form, and you have a very difficult decision. So I’m going to go with what appeared to be the majority vote in the changing room after the game and give it to Rich Shaw, if only to go some way to making up for him being denied his first goal for the club. It will happen Rich, it will happen!
Fanzines Utd 2 [[Pheasant Inn]] 2
EMPAL Division Two
3rd April 2005
The business end of the season arrived with Fanzines knowing that promotion was only a possibility if they could string together an unprecedented sequence of results from the final four consecutive games at fortress Gresham. First up was the return bout against league leaders Pheasant Inn. The 2-1 away win from a fortnight ago had clearly instilled a belief that another three points were in the bag, even in the absence of the previously ever-present Lyndon and Gilbert. And it was Fanzines that looked the most comfortable from the start, controlling the game and twice hitting the woodwork in the opening ten minutes. Whitts' scuffed shot from Jones' underhit corner bobbled against the left upright, and then minutes later a flick on from a throw struck the right post and bounced clear. Pheasant's position as league champions elect was once more under threat, which is why it was such a shock when they took the lead. From a long throw on the left the Pheasant forward rose with the two Fanzines centre-backs and the ball accelerated off the contesting foreheads and looped into the far corner of the net. Less composed teams may have begun to panic, especially when Garry limped off with a recurrence of his bad leg saga, but this bunch of players are either too indifferent or too mature to let a minor setback affect their performance.
James came on to significantly lower the average age of the team, Daz began to occupy the attentions of the back four, and parity was earned when Whitts drilled in an equaliser after another corner-induced scramble. Definitely not an O.G., despite the multiple deflections on the way. Once again it was Fanzines who were dictating the play, urged on by the hobbled Gaffer who even vacated his chair in the heat of the moment only to find it occupied on his return by the watching Marathon Dan. Even Andy was briefly distracted from his dual task of failing to aquire Glastonbury tickets and failing to tap up next season's star striker, as he barked orders from the sideline.
And in the midst of this a tiny mistake, as Ravo allowed a comfortable through ball to roll under his foot, presenting the Pheasant striker with a clear run on goal which he accepted gladly by drilling a left foot finish under the despairing Kip. 1-2, and a sense of disbelief at half-time with the season in the balance. But the second half was a mess. And in the mess were chances. And the chances were missed. Rich Shaw failed to break his duck following a good move involving James and Daz down the left. Whitts had a goal ruled out for offside. Pheasants, meanwhile, had a lot of the ball but rarely threatened, though Grumpy Greenwood did make a good last ditch tackle and then a last ditch clearance ahead of the onrushing striker, both in the space of five minutes. And whilst Fanzines were largely silent, Pheasant first began squabbling with each other and then the ref as the time ticked by.
For Fanzines though, the game appeared to be slipping away. Jones was replaced by Courtney, and Duncan moved up front in a slightly more attacking 4-4-2 formation, but the passing was increasingly disjointed and rushed on the bumpy pitch. All hope was gone, and then...suddenly, composure. From Duncan. And James. And Daz. And the ball was lashed into the roof of the net. A deserved equaliser. 2-2. Moments later the whistle blew and Fanzines had a point. The general feeling was that it should've been three, despite the comments of "Lucky" coming from Pheasants' portly number 10, but in the circumstances it was a great result. Pheasants certainly have some decent players but it is by no means certain that they will win their remaining games, whilst Fanzines must feel that second place, at least, is still there for the taking, if form and commitment continues. Here we go then...
Loweys man of the match: Chris Whittaker
Fanzines United 0 [[FC Olympico]] 3
EMPAL Division Two
10th April 2005
Having already witnessed one dismal 3-0 home defeat, the Forest-supporting members of the squad were hoping for a pick-me-up from the ‘must win’ game against mid-table FC Olympico. What they got, unfortunately, was more of the same after a second half capitulation that left players and management alike stunned. With another healthy turn-out tough decisions were faced by Andy and The Gaffer over team selection, decisions which those who were left out could say with every justification at the final whistle were made wrongly.
At half-time, however, everything, while not looking rosy, was certainly looking promising. The football at times was impressive on a difficult surface, with short interchange of passing to the fore and chances created. However, a total of four one-on-ones went begging in the opening period while two mad scrambles in front of the Olympico goal also failed to see the ball forced over the line. At the other end chances were fewer but the warning signs were there when Kip was forced into a brilliant one-handed reaction save down to his right to deny the visitors the lead just before the break as we switched off for the last ten minutes of the half. Unfortunately, despite a half-time warning, it’s fair to say we failed to switch back on. That the game was lost 3-0 was, in fairness, probably not down to a lack of effort but as Olympico’s gobby but skilful number 9 took the game by the scruff of the neck we failed to offer barely anything in return. He finished with a fine opportunist hat-trick while we struggled to muster a single effort on goal in a strangely disjointed second half display, arguably our worst of the season.
The changing room afterwards was like a morgue but, after a season which has produced so many positives, we should perhaps not get too despondent over 45 minutes worth of disappointment, especially as Pheasant Inn’s 3-2 win over Inter FB means the dream of promotion is still alive as we prepare for Sundays game against Ardley Athletic
Fanzines United 2 [[Ardley Athletic]] 1
EMPAL Division Two
17th April 2005
Two games remaining, six points required. A simple equation and a simple team selection for Andy and The Gaffer with only eleven squad players available. Team formation was a different matter, however, with Dave and Fred being pushed into centre mid alongside Rich in place of the missing Whitts and Lyndon, and Dunc coming in on the right in place of Jonesy. Courtney took over at right back and Stuart was back between the sticks in place of Kip, the Englishman in New York. All change, then, from the previous weeks setback and it was a reshuffle that thankfully produced a much improved all round performance.
Ardley were boosted by the late arrival of big Sam but their reliance on the long ball in his direction was a surprise and played into the hands of a resolute defence who repelled the danger with little alarm as the ball was, quite literally, thrown in from all angles. Half-time approached with barely a chance worthy of the name created at either end although the home side had looked the most threatening with some quality passages of play, all of which frustratingly seemed to break down on the edge of their opponents box. But then, a moments hesitation from the claret and amber and the visitors pounced, taking a touch and slotting past the despairing Stuart for an undeserved lead at the break.
The half-time team talk was positive - more of the same and the opportunities will come. And they did. Ten minutes in and G11 took full advantage of a handling error by Ardley’s keeper to slot home past two covering defenders from an ever decreasing angle. It was a difficult finish made to look easy by the club’s top scorer and one which helped erase the memory of some out-of-sorts finishing from the week before. Any remaining cast backs were then obliterated when, just two minutes from the final whistle, the same man was on hand six yards out to turn in Dave Greenwood’s expertly flighted corner from the right. Joy all round as all three points were secured to leave a last game of the season showdown with Notts Athletic for the second automatic promotion spot.
Ardley’s captain was generous enough to admit afterwards that we deserved to win because we played the better football and wanted it more, a summing up with which I can find no argument. Challenges were made for every ball, players backed each other up all over the pitch and when we did get the ball on the deck we looked to use it in the way BC intended. The man of the match award provoked much deliberation with the management duo failing to agree for the first time this season, leaving James and Fred to take the honour jointly. The remaining nine can all consider themselves desperately unlucky not to have made the cut, however, and with players returning to the squad for Sunday’s ‘cup final’ it’s sure to be a week of sleepless nights for Andy and The Gaffer as they ponder team selection. But who would have it any other way? After a season of much promise and a number of quality performances there can be little argument that the club deserves to be in a position where something tangible is within its grasp. Bring on the weekend!
//The 2005/06 season saw [[Fanzines United]] make amends for the previous year's last-gasp failure by winning promotion to EMPAL Division 1, despite missing out on the title due to a last match defeat.//
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Fanzines United (2) 5 [[FC Olympico|Olympico]] (0) 0
EMPAL Division Two
4 Sep 2005
A wonderfully warm and bright late Summer Sunday morning heralded the start of the new EMPAL season. Andy and The Gaffer had spent the previous 48 hours pondering and pontificating over team selection, eventually deciding to hand new boy Steve Connor his debut up front alongside new old boy Adam Collinson. Further new old boys Ian Cairney and Neil ‘Twiggy’ Remzi were on the bench while, with Kip working and Stuart on baby-sitting duty, Fred was handed the opportunity to build on his impressive record between the sticks. For the opening 20 minutes Olympico gave every indication they were going to prove troublesome opponents. Fred had to react quickly to block an effort low down to his right with his feet and there were further scares with a couple of efforts flying just over the bar. All this and the home side had yet to register a clear effort on goal. Things got no better when Adam limped off just 15 minutes into his return, his niggling ankle injury unfortunately getting the better of him. The call went up for Daz to get warm and ‘the bustling number nine’ entered the fray with a point to prove.
Within five minutes Fanzines had taken the lead, Jonesy’s superb inswinging corner eventually being prodded home by Gareth as Olympico’s custodian stood rooted to his line. Ten minutes later and the best bit of football in the match so far led to a doubling of the advantage. A neat triangle between Jimbo, Lyndon and Graham eventually led to G11 slipping the ball through to Steve. Just too far we thought, but the new man's pace and tenacity paid off as he chased the ball down, confounding the keepers attempted clearance and slotting the ball into the unguarded net. 2-0 at half-time and without playing anywhere near our fluent best, the game was there for the taking.
Within fifteen minutes of the restart it was virtually all over. Twice G11 got free down the left and twice he cut the ball back with pin point accuracy. First for Daz to roll the ball home from almost on the line via what appeared eventually to be his belly and second time around for Steve to rifle home and double his tally. By now Olympico were playing very much as individuals, allowing Fanzines steadfast back four to nullify any threat at source and Fred to coast towards his clean sheet. Daz went clean through ten minutes from time to round the keeper and cooly roll home the fifth and only a bizarre decision by the lineswoman denied him his hat-trick as the game entered its closing stages. But in a game of pleasing performances all round it was perhaps apt that no-one took too much of the limelight.
The Gaffer was taking no prisoners in the changing rooms after the game when he made Gareth man of the match but he’s not fooling anyone and it can only be a matter of time before young Jimbo is back in the frame. Special mentions also to Steve for a brace on his debut, Daz for responding magnificently after the disappointment of being left on the bench and G11 who was poacher turned provider with three quality assists.
Team: Lowe S, Greenwood, Timpson, Ravenscroft, Sowerbutts, Cowlard, Jones (Smith), Shaw, Connor (Remzi), Collinson (Heithus), Gilbert. Sub not used: Cairney.
Scorers: Connor x 2, Heithus x 2, Sowerbutts.
[[Rushcliffe SHR]] (0) 1 Fanzines United (0) 0
EMPAL Division Two
11 Sep 2005
The second game of the season saw an under strength Fanzines with just 11 squad players thanks to a combination of the Robin Hood marathon, holidays and work commitments. With Kip being one of the aforementioned holidayers, Stuart injuring himself playing for Rudd the previous day and Fred needed to play the midfield holding role, Woody stepped in to make his Fanzines debut between the pipes against the Notts FA Minor Cup holders. Also making his debut at left back was Joe, while there was a first start of the season up front for Twiggy alongside Steve.
The opening 20 minutes saw the customary slow start by the claret and amber with the home side very much on top but being kept at arms length by a resolute back four. The arrival of club legend Benny ‘Lad’ Smith as a spectator provided Andy with some much appreciated company and seemed to serve as a catalyst for an upping of the effort and a resultant much closer 25 minutes to half-time. Chances were few and far between with Woody relatively untroubled bar a couple of long range efforts which he dealt with comfortably while at the other end Steve’s lively performance had him marked out by the Rushcliffe right back as a major threat, an ‘accolade’ which saw him unceremoniously kicked up in the air just before the break.
The second half carried on in much the same vein with both sides trying to play football but finding their efforts for the main part cancelled out by the other giving them very little space in which to do it. It always looked likely that just one goal would decide things and so it proved, unfortunately not in Fanzines’ favour. A poor referring decision against Jonesy out on the touchline gave Rushcliffe a free kick which was delivered with much precision and no little skill into the box to be met by SHR’s 6 foot plus striker who, having done virtually nothing all game, got his head to the ball and found the bottom corner of the net.
In the five minutes which followed Fanzines produced their best two efforts of the match, Rich Shaw watching in amazement/agony as his LEFT footer from the edge of the box flew an inch over the angle of bar and post with the keeper stranded while Steve’s powerful right foot volley was well kept out by the Rushcliffe custodian as it found it’s way through a forest of bodies. Although pressing hard until the final whistle we were unable to find a way through and slipped to a first defeat of the season but there are many positives to be taken from the performance. Despite the lack of numbers all twelve who turned out gave their all and there is no doubt that on another day it could have been us walking off at the end with a single goal victory. Contenders for man of the match were many but a gutsy performance from Joe who dug in and refused to let a very good right winger get the better of him sees him sneak the award for this week.
Team: Wood, Doorly, Timpson, Sowerbutts, Ravenscroft, Lowe S, Jones, Shaw, Connor, Remzi (Cairney), Gilbert.
''Fanzines United (4) 4 [[Butler United]] (0) 2''
EMPAL Division Two
25 Sep 2005
[img[http://photos-a.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v99/49/40/675480657/n675480657_167408_3684.jpg]]
Football is not about winning, it's about glory, and for fifteen goal-strewn, first-half minutes Fanzines produced a display that was both glorious to watch and effectively won the game. Bookending this period of clinical creativity however was a game which was both competitive and hard fought, against a tall, strong and powerful Butler side.
The visitors made a start that was as bright and crisp as the September morning, penning Fanzines in their own half and attempting to exploit the aerial ability of their forwards from a series of crosses and throw-ins. Resolute and committed defending allowed the home side to withstand the early pressure, but there was little sign of the dominant period ahead. It was therefore against the run of play when Fanzines suddenly began to exploit the space on the flanks against the three man midfield of the opposition.
Minutes after a dubious penalty decision had been given and then revoked by the rasping gasp of the ref (following a chat with Twiggy, his possibly mutinous assistant), a cross from the right bypassed the penalty box and fell to the feet of G11 who wisely decided not to use his wrong foot as he cut inside his man and cracked a shot which glanced off an onrushing defender and into the net.
Fanzines celebrated by pushing forward in waves, controlling the ball and beginning to pass their way through and around the opposite ranks. G11 in particular was having a sparkling period on the wing, beating the full-back with pace and skill on numerous occasions. It was from his cross that Fanzines doubled their league as Gilbert drilled the ball into the box and, following an inadvertant stepover from Jonesy, Daz controlled the ball with one foot and then prodded it into the corner with the other. In fact, Daz was beginning to lead the line with authority, rewarding the management's decision to start with the big fella up front rather than the returning Adam. And Daz's strike partner was soon to benefit from the controlled chaos being wreaked, as Steve accelerated onto a chipped through-ball from G11 and lofted the ball over the stranded keeper. 3-nil, and minutes later Lyndon (yes, Lyndon!) created an opening with a guided pass to the feet of the rampaging Daz who powered straight at the back four and steerd a shot into the bottom corner.
And it was over. Effectively.
Butler pulled themselves together and Fanzines reverted back to the form of the pre-havoc struggle. Andy was clearly unhappy with the overall performance, despite the comfortable lead, and urged his team at half-time to stop scoring goals and deliver a clean sheet. His team were happy to accommodate one of his demands, as they started the second half in a partcularly charitable mood, no doubt inspired by the shiny big cheque and photo session which they'd preened themselves for during the break. Butler attacked with increased passion and vigour, gaining a dominance in midfield and exerting significant pressure on the formerly inpenetrable defence. Overloading down the flanks and exposing the full-backs, a Butler cross from the left was perfectly flighted as it dipped into the six yard box and was steered in at the near post by the forward.
Soon after, a series of raking passes found the leggy left-winger in space and, as Dave struggled to close him down, he drifted outside the full-back, through a challenge from the covering Gareth and then drilled the ball cleverly past Kip. If Fanzines were to throw the game away then this was to be the time, but Butler failed to expose any perceived weakness and instead vented their frustrations on the ref's random decisions and the mostly flawless flag-waving of Andy (who received a ball in his face as a reward).
The game drifted to a conclusion, and as Fanzines trudged off the field it would've been dificult for an observer to guess which of the two teams was the winning side. Only as the season progresses will the team begin to appreciate that this was an excellent result against a tough team, the kind of result that is required if success is to be achieved this year.
Team: Broughton, Greenwood, Doorly, Ravenscroft, Sowerbutts, Cowlard, Jones (Remzi), Shaw, Connor (Smith), Heithus (Collinson), Gilbert.
Scorers: Heithus x 2, Connor, Gilbert.
Fanzines United (0) (1) 2 [[Benfica]] (0) (1) 2 aet
Benfica win 4-3 on penalties
EMPAL Cup 1st round
2 Oct 2005
The Cup, someone once said, is a great leveller. Well, this game between unbeaten Benfica of the First Division and in-form Fanzines of the Second wasn’t just levelled by the underdog but turned upside down and shaken until all its loose change fell out. Unfortunately, however, it was the opposition who picked up the lucky penny and ran as Fanzines were robbed of a much deserved cup upset in heartbreaking fashion after 120 minutes of gargantuan effort.
With top scorer Heithus and midfield general Shaw off catching criminals, Goals was handed his first start of the season with G11 pushed into service up front and Adam coming in to partner Lyndon.
Much was made by Andy and The Gaffer in the pre-game prep talk of the need to start in positive fashion and their charges didn’t disappoint, creating three opportunities inside the opening ten minutes. The referee had barely taken his whistle from his mouth before G11 flashed a cross shot inches wide and the same man forced the keeper into a save with his legs two minutes later. When the ball found its way to Goals just six yards out and an open goal gaping those on the touchline were already celebrating. However, the veteran striker’s right foot is unfortunately not as trustworthy as his left and the ball came back off the post to further frustrate the rampant home side. Steve’s angled drive then flew inches over the bar before the game’s first turning point as Adam’s niggling ankle injury got the better of him and he was forced to retire with just 15 minutes on the clock. The early substitution appeared to knock the stuffing out of the home side and the game became more evenly balanced although Kip’s cigar remained lit throughout the remainder of the first half with the best chance again falling to Goals whose near post header flashed the wrong side of the post.
The second 45 again brought virtually nothing in the way of creativity from the away side whose over-reliance on the long ball to the Andy Johnson lookalike up front was food and drink to the ever unflappable Gareth and Ravo. The longer the game went on the more likely it seemed one goal would decide it so when Steve’s exquisite finish found the back of the net with 20 minutes to go following fine work from Lyndon and G11 the shock of the round looked very much on the cards. Benfica’s answer was to go even more long ball, bringing on a long throw expert who delivered a succession of spherical missles into the six yard box from anywhere over the half way line. The game could and should have been put to bed seven minutes form time but Twiggy blazed over from six yards after great wing play from Ian Cairney and, after defending so well for so long, the cruellest of blows followed three minutes later when a scramble following, yes, you guessed it, a long throw, brought Benfica the equaliser.
So, extra time, and the home side responded in great fashion to the sickening blow of conceding such a late goal, taking the game to the opposition. Twiggy was hopelessly unlucky after robbing the goalie and going round a defender only to see his goal bound effort hit the retreating custodians foot and stay out while Steve was inches wide with a drive from the edge of the box. The same player was not to be denied on the stroke of extra half time though. Twiggy’s corner from the left was headed goalwards by G11, beating the keeper but not the defender on the line who deflected up on to the bar and out, the ball eventually finding its way out to the waiting Mr Connor who gleefully drilled home. Could we hold on this time? Sadly not. Midway through the second extra quarter and an unmarked header from a corner brought the scores level once again, just seconds after Kip had produced a tremendous point blank save. With penalties looming Jonesy thought he had won it when his inswinging corner looked destined to go straight in but the keeper somehow managed to keep the ball out from right under his crossbar. And so to penalties.
Five brave souls raised their hands as Andy asked for volunteers and the scene was set. Steve took first and scored before Kip came agonisingly close to producing a save that would have given us an early lead. And then the curse of the left footers struck once again. If it’s not Chrissie Waddle and Stuart Pearce it’s Ian Cairney and Twiggy. Both put their efforts on target but both too close to the goalkeeper, the second of which was met with a female cry of “Oh, Stevie baby, you are so good” from the touchline - we trust it was someone who knew him well! Dave and G11 netted with nonchalent ease and Kip produced a fine save to force it to the last kick of the ten but as the ball went one way and the gallant Fanzines custodian the other we were reminded that, sometimes, football can indeed be a cruel, cruel game.
Team: Broughton, Greenwood, Doorly, Ravenscroft, Sowerbutts, Cowlard, Jones, Collinson (Remzi), Connor, Gilbert, Smith (Cairney)
Scorers: Connor x 2
Penalties: Connor, Greenwood, Gilbert
[[Victoria Palace]] (1) 2 Fanzines United (1) 4
EMPAL Division Two
9 Oct 2005
Without doubt, the proverbial game of two halves. One appalling, one better but still not brilliant. After last weeks marathon against Benfica the team saw seven positional changes, with Broughton, Sowerbutts, Collinson, Smith and Connor all missing from the starting line-up for one reason or another. After stressing the need for another positive start, Andy and The Gaffer may as well have saved their breath as the first half brought the most insipid performance seen from a Fanzines team for a couple of seasons. After failing to win barely a tackle in the opening fifteen minutes it was no surprise whatsoever when the home side took the lead, Fred misjudging an inswinging corner which was headed home by the unmarked Palace centre-half. Ten minutes later and by, the miracle of G11’s inability to maintain his balance under challenge, we were level. After waiting months for one chance to come around Dave Greenwood got the opportunity to take his second penalty in as many games and stepping up as confident as a cool cucumber he maintained his 100% record with nonchalent ease. And that, more or less, was our only effort worthy of note in the opening 45.
At the other end, however, it was a different matter entirely. The biggest joke of a penalty decision given against Dave since the last one (it’s just not on, you’ll have to stop winning the ball cleanly Dave) was given by the referee who, a full 50 yards away, was clearly intent on evening things up as far as dubious decision go. Fortunately Fred didn’t see it that way and pulled off a marvellous save away to his right. A couple of minutes later he did equally as well to get his fingertips to a close range effort which hit the underside of the bar and bounced clear and somehow the ramshackle bunch of eleven men in claret and amber made it through to half-time on level terms.
After a reminder from a clearly enraged Gaffer that tackling, passing and heading are all allowed in the game of football, better things were hoped for in the second half. Well, it was one of those occasions when things couldn’t get much worse. Except they did. A through ball caught the back four napping and Palace’s fresh faced number nine gave Fred no chance with a cross shot just inside the far post. Those on the touchline feared the worst but thankfully those on the pitch finally realised that by upping their game to something approaching a decent performance the points were still there for the taking. Daz forced a quite superb save from the Palace custodian before Ian Cairney somehow failed to bundle the ball home from almost on the line and Joe fired the resultant ‘clearance’ over the angle from six yards out. However, there were at least signs of hope and Lyndon’s quite accurate observation that substitute Ian had won more tackles in his five minutes on the pitch than some had done in the previous 60 served to well and truly light the fuse.
G11 found himself eight yards out and eventually forced the ball home after sitting the keeper on backside to bring the scores level and from then on there was only one side who looked like winning as – if by magic – everything suddenly clicked. Daz found himself played into space in the inside right position and after taking the ball on he took his time before calmly slipping home. If that finish was composed his second four minutes later was sheer quality. After being fed the ball by Dunc in an almost identical situation he simply looked up and picked his spot before lashing the ball across the keeper and into the bottom corner. The big man’s whelp of delight at his sixth goal in three games was followed by a forthright cry of “Come on” to his team mates and no one was about to let him down. Joe went agonisingly close with a brave near post header while Rich stretched his goals to games ratio even further with a couple of efforts from the edge of the box which flew wide. That left only The Gaffer and Palace’s manager to engage in a spot of handbags on the touchline before the ref decided it was time for another Woodbine and finally blew the whistle after adding an amazing seven minutes of injury time. So, relief all round but the knowledge that another performance of similar stature next week against a Chequers team defending a 100% record will result in nothing but anguish and frustration.
Team: Lowe S, Greenwood, Timpson, Ravenscroft, Doorly, Cowlard (Richmond), Jones, Shaw, Heithus (Harrison A), Remzi (Cairney), Gilbert
Scorers: Heithus x2, Greenwood (pen), Gilbert
Fanzines United (1) 1 [[Chequers]] (0) 1
EMPAL Division Two
16 Oct 2005
Lyndon was injured, Rich was working and Twiggy had a cold. Adam returned ahead of schedule from injury a la Thierry Henry and somehow got through 90 minutes in centre mid (he was tired at the end!) alongside Joe who did a fantastic job in a role he’s never played before. We scored first after 35 minutes from a corner which was punched in by the goalie but which G11 claimed. We should have gone in at the break with more than just the one to show for our efforts, with Steve and Daz looking dangerous every time we went forward. We had more chances to score at the beginning of the second but tired legs then began to take their toll and the defence was awesome in the final half hour with Chequers putting us under a lot of pressure as they became desperate to maintain their 100% start to the season. Kip – whose handling was superb throughout – made a brilliant save 15 minutes form time but even he had no chance when a one on one chance was converted with just 8 minutes left on the clock.
A draw was probably just about a fair result but we can look back on missed chances to have put the game out of reach before Chequers late onslaught. Still, the first points they’ve dropped this season and they seemed relieved to have left with a draw which, with leaders Brinsthorpe Rangers losing, tightens things up at the top of the table.
Team: Broughton, Greenwood, Timpson, Sowerbutts, Ravenscroft, Doorly (Richmond), Jones, Collinson, Heithus (Smith), Connor, Gilbert
Scorer: Gilbert
Fanzines Utd 5 [[Radcliffe Olympic]] 6
Notts FA County Cup
23 Oct 2005
Good old fashioned Sunday morning football at its finest/worst, depending on your viewpoint. Having conceded only six goals in five league game so far this season we managed to equal the tally in our first (and last) County Cup fixture of the campaign. As good as we were going forward - and at times we were very good - we were equally and highly unusually as bad at the other end. Still, having gone 4-3 up with just over 20 minutes to go it looked as though we would end the shootout as last man standing, a result which wouldn’t have been unjust considering the amount of chances we created. However, a goal to the good became a goal to the bad within five minutes and despite much huffing and puffing we managed to gift our opposition - from a higher level than ourselves, so it’s not as though they needed the help - a sixth before Stevo’s late penalty was just too late to take the game into extra time and an eventual score line of what would surely have been cricket-like proportions. Much to ponder, although going through every aspect of the game here would take all day and serve little purpose. Add to that the fact I unfortunately have neither the time nor (currently) the inclination to do so means I will leave you with a resume of how the game progressed and a final thought - form is temporary but class is permanent. Roll on Sunday versus Inter FB.
0-1
1-1 Gilbert
1-2
2-2 Connor
3-2 Gilbert
3-3
4-3 Colllinson
4-4
4-5
4-6
5-6 Connor (pen)
Team: Lowe S, Greenwood (Whittaker), Doorly, Sowerbutts, Ravenscroft, Shaw, Jones (Cowlard), Collinson, Connor, Smith (Remzi), Gilbert
Scorers: Gilbert x 2, Connor x 2 (1 pen), Collinson
FUFC (2) 4 [[Inter FB]] (0) 0
EMPAL Division Two
30 Oct 2005
With Kip and Stuart both out with injuries, Woody stepped in between the sticks while there was a first start of the season for Whitts as Dave was off running the Worksop half-marathon. Elsewhere, Lyndon’s cruise with a boatful of schoolgirls meant Adam and Rich paired up in central midfield while G11 continued up front alongside Stevo. There was also the small matter of The Gaffer taking up the referring mantle, more of which later.
An abrasive opening by our opponents left us in little doubt that we were going to have to dig deep to take all three points and so it proved as there was little let-up in either the physical or verbal battering over the ensuing hour and a half. Seemingly intimidated for the first 30 minutes, the game turned on its head with two goals in five minutes towards the end of the first half. First Adam got on the end of Stevo’s excellent cross to bundle home the first before the nippy centre-forward was scythed down in the box for what looked from the touchline the clearest of penalties. The Gaffer, stood just six yards away, was in no doubt either but that didn’t stop the opposition calling him all sorts of nasty names for pointing to the spot. Stevo, meanwhile, picked himself up and dispatched with consummate ease to double the advantage. By now the rain was throwing it down to such an extent that it was hampering the vision of Inter’s nippy forwards who kept insisting that they were onside every time Twiggy - correctly - raised his flag to signal they were, in fact, at times yards off.
An early goal at the start of the second half was needed to knock any remaining fight out of our opponents and it duly arrived from the most unexpected of sources. As Joe took possession 40 yards out those on the touchline were already looking round for the fishing net. Fortunately, though, all heads were up for the goal of the season contender which followed as the left back looked up and, seeing Inter’s keeper off his line, sent an inch perfect effort over his head, under the bar and into the corner of the net. Superb, and the applause which followed was richly deserved. With the game now all but won the main aim was to keep a clean sheet and normal service was resumed among the back four after he nightmare of conceding six the previous week. A glancing header from the portly centre-half turned in Jonesy’s corner for the fourth which left Inter’s by now bickering bruisers only to attempt decapitation on G11 and Dunc before The Gaffer brought proceedings to a satisfactory conclusion, although apparently ‘it’s no surprise we’re winning games if we cheat like that every week’! Bad losers anyone? Heck, they even named Whitts man of the match!!
Team: Wood, Whittaker, Ravenscroft, Sowerbutts, Doorly, Shaw, Jones, Collinson (Lowe S), Connor (Richmond ), Gilbert, Smith (Timpson).
Scorers: Collinson, Connor (pen), Doorly, o.g.
[[Nevabeen Athletic]] (0) 0 Fanzines Utd (3) 10
EMPAL Division Two
6 Nov 2005
On paper an easy game against bottom of the table Nevabeen but, as we all know, games are not won on paper and Andy and The Gaffer were keen to emphasise the need to guard against complacency. With Gareth facing his own match of the day, Joe moved to centre-half and Jimbo came in at left back. Further upfield, Twiggy came in for a run out on the right while Lyndon returned in the centre as Adam moved up front to replace the hamstrung G11.
As the game kicked off so the heavens opened and after a quiet opening 20 minutes it seemed to be that the heavier the rain fell the more the goals flowed. Jimbo’s shot come cross got the scoreboard moving and from then on it was simply a case of not if but when further goals would come.
Goals and Stevo made it three by half-time and the second 45 produced an additional seven as Nevabeen wilted under an onslaught from both the elements and the opposition. Some sublime first-time finishing from Stevo saw him take his personal tally to five before a leg-saving substitution gave Dave the chance to shine up front. His pass sent Adam through to finish emphatically one-on-one but even he was upstaged by Goals’ bullet-like downward header from a pinpoint cross delivered by the impressive Twiggy. The final whistle brought another clean sheet for Woody and double figures for a Fanzines team for the first time in many a season (eight at a guess, unless anyone can remind me differently), a victory made even better by the fact it was achieved in horrendous conditions by playing some neat and impressive football. Just pity poor Sharon whose kindly kit-washing skills were no doubt fully tested on Monday morning!
Team: Wood, Whittaker, Timpson, Ravenscroft (Lowe S), Doorly (Jones), Cowlard, Remzi, Shaw, Connor (Greenwood ), Collinson, Smith
Scorers: Connor x 5, Collinson x 2, Smith x 2, Timpson.
[[Inter FB]] (2) 3 Fanzines Utd (1) 2
EMPAL Division Two
13 Nov 2005
A late change of venue prior to the game saw Fanzines on their way to the Cinderhill hinterland on a cold & bright November morning for the return fixture against a team that they had defeated by four goals to nil a fortnight before. Confidence was high and, despite the absence of Mr Lowe, it was generally felt that a repeat result was a distinct possibility.
Always one to warn against complacency (and the weather), The Gaffer’s pre-match team talk emphasised the need to concentrate on the basics and to earn the right to play the kind of passing football that had been so successful in recent games. A shockingly poor start to game followed, however, as Fanzines struggled to cope with either the tight tundra of a pitch or the vibrant Inter front four, though neither could be blamed for the first goal. A simple ball over the top was failed to be cleared, first by a horrendous miskick from Dave and then by a tangle between the full-back and outrushing keeper. Bouncing loose, the Inter forward bobbled himself and the ball between Paul and Joe, and tapped into the net.
Although Fanzines quickly equalized as Goals tapped in after Steve’s shot was parried by the keeper, it was in truth the only bright spark in an otherwise abject team performance. Inter went ahead again before half-time as a hopeful lob from outside the area could only be parried onto the bar by the back-pedalling Kip and it was a simple task for the unattended striker to prod the ball home. The cramped pitch was clearly intended for under-12s and luckily that’s how Fanzines were playing, a fact pointed out by the disgruntled Gaffer at half-time. He doesn’t give up his free time for rubbish like this, y’know…
No changes at the break, though if he’d had 11 subs available he probably would’ve used them all. Fanzines spectacular ability to fail to pass the ball to each other continued to astound and amaze all the chilly watchers on the sidelines, whilst Inter continued to look dangerous on the break. The normally compact approach to defending was strangely absent, whilst the attacking threat was limited at best. Daz was brought on for Ady and immediately injected a bit of passion, and with 15 minutes to go finished off from close range after a scramble in the box. 2-2, and a point looked to have been salvaged. Fred and Dan were brought on for Dave and Goals as the Gaffer attempted to shore things up at the back, but instead Inter dealt a crual blow as, with five minutes remaining, a ball was flung in from the left and the striker rose between Kip & Fred to plonk the ball into the corner. Sometimes when you deserve nothing, that’s exactly what you get.
And though Daz attempted to thunder the ball through the entire Inter back-line, and was furious having been continually fouled, it was too late to rescue the game. A shocking performance and a shocking defeat, one which deals a significant blow to Fanzines promotion chances. Daz’s post-match rage was loud but justified, and maybe will remind the team that a consistent level of performance is required in order to achieve anything this season. We'll see if anyone was listening...
Team: Broughton, Greenwood (Lowe, S), Timpson, Doorly, Ravenscroft, Cowlard, Jones (Heithus), Shaw, Connor, Collinson, Smith (Brown)
Scorers: Smith, Heithus.
Man of the Match: Shaw
[[Chequers]] (0) 2 Fanzines United (2) 3
EMPAL Division Two
27 Nov 2005
A trip out to Cropwell Butler to play Chequers, the only side with a big fat ‘0’ next to their name under the column headed ‘lost’ in the EMPAL Division 2 table. If ever there was a fixture to test the resolve of a side still smarting from the poor performance and deserved defeat against Inter FB a fortnight previous then this was it. Andy and The Gaffer mulled long and hard before re-introducing the five man midfield to embrace what is undoubtedly the widest pitch in the league. Having been successful with it in previous years, it was felt a switch was needed to reap reward again. Changes in personnel saw Whitts come in at centre-half with Joe reverting to left back and Jimbo to right back. In midfield, the need to play two quick wide-men with an eye for goal saw Stevo and Goals pushed wide with Adam dropping off in the centre ahead of Lyndon and Rich. This meant both Dave and Jonesy making way but hats off to both, they accepted what was a very tough decision in a manner which did them much credit.
After a bizarre pre-match pep-talk from the referee which included his insistence that he wasn’t going to use linesmen (a decision which Andy thankfully persuaded him to reverse!) the game kicked off with a lot depending on Daz and his ability to hold up the ball and bring others into play. Any fear that the big man might struggle to do the job on such a big playing surface were dispelled within the opening 90 seconds as sheer persistence on his part fashioned an opening which saw the ball come back off the post from a tight angle. That set the tone for an opening half which for the main part was dominated by the away side. Daz’s work rate was again to the fore as Stevo was presented with a chance after ten minutes which he was never going to miss, turning sweetly and rifling home in one movement.
Minutes later and the same player was unlucky when his drive from 16 yards came back off the underside of the cross bar and with another effort scrambled off the line from a corner, Chequers were desperate. So it was no surprise when the net bulged for a second time on the half hour mark. No surprises about the goal maybe, but the scorer?! One Richard Shaw!! Three years in the making and Rich’s right shin presented him with his first goal for the club, gleefully rammed home from twelve yards out. Mobbed by his team mates, there was no disguising his delight at finally getting off the mark. The two goal cushion was maintained without much trouble through to the whistle and we looked forward to a comfortable second 45 to go on and take the three points. Well, Fanzines wouldn’t be Fanzines if that was the case, would it?!
Within 40 seconds of us taking kick-off the home side were back in the game after mistake followed mistake on the left to leave Chequers’ half-time substitute to prod past a helpless Kip from six yards out. After that we just couldn’t get going as the midfield dropped ever deeper to help out a beleaguered back four, leaving Daz marooned without a claret and amber short within 50 yards of him. Buoyed by the sudden impact of his introduction, Chequers super sub then hit the bar with a cracking effort and Kip was forced into two fine pieces of goalkeeping to preserve the advantage. However, the blue tide kept coming and with 25 minutes remaining the scores were level as a free shot on goal from twelve yards after a failure to clear our lines again left Kip without a hope. And then…a quick break, our best (only?!) move of the second half and a pinpoint cross from Joe found the head of Adam, ghosting in at the far post to find the corner of the net with a deft header. Having played our get out of jail card with such aplomb we were not about to let the lead slip again without a fight and some fine defending coupled with some luck as a spot of pinball saw Chequers equal our woodwork hit count for the morning saw us mightily relieved at the final whistle. A performance of some skill (in the first half) and no little character (towards the end of the second) had brought an end to the league’s last unbeaten record and seen us go clear in second spot. Blimey.
Team: Broughton, Timpson (Greenwood), Doorly, Ravenscroft, Whittaker, Cowlard (Lowe S), Connor, Shaw, Heithus, Collinson, Smith (Brown)
Scorers: Connor, Shaw, Collinson
Fanzines United (2) 6 [[Brinsthorpe Rangers]] (0) 1
EMPAL Division Two
11 Dec 2005
With the days counting down on advent calendars nationwide Santa EMPAL served up a Christmas cracker with a top of the table clash between Fanzines and free-scoring Brinsthorpe Rangers. With Daz and Jimbo both working, changes were enforced and after a sleepless night Andy decided to bring back Dave and Jonesy into the starting eleven, pushing Adam up alongside Stevo and leaving the unlucky quartet of Fred, Dan, Twiggy and the returning Gareth on the bench. After a week of giving the management grief, G11 was fit enough only to turn up ten minutes after kick-off, just in time to see his team mates double their lead in what was a dream opening. After Stevo’s sublime opener, which had Fred in raptures to the point where he was still telling everyone about it two hours later, Goals converted a cross from the same player after a beautifully crafted move down the right to leave the ‘backroom staff’ (c. Courtney Nangle 2005) pinching themselves.
Brinsthorpe’s folically challenged but more than useful centre-forward kept the back five busy but after a couple of heart-stopping moments the opposition’s insistence on launching one long-throw after another into the box became as impotent as it was predictable. Rangers’ frustration was summed up by a couple of overly robust challenges which both resulted in bookings, and the second of which unfortunately brought a premature end to Lyndon’s morning, the skipper coming off five minutes into the second half to be replaced by the effervescent Twiggy. With Adam dropping back to fill in for Lyndon, Twiggy was issued the instruction to “get up front and make a nuisance of yourself”. In other words, do what you do best. And he didn’t disappoint. Within ten minutes of taking the field he’d provided opportunities for both first half scorers to double their tallies and both gleefully accepted. The goal he deserved for himself went begging when a left footed volley from ten yards flew over the bar before a hint of a come back from the visitors after the otherwise excellent referee missed a clear infringement on Kip and the ball was bundled home from two yards out.
Any sweaty palms on the touchline were soon dried, however, in applauding Jonesy’s 30 35 40 45 yard free-kick which ‘dipped and swerved’ before hitting the underside of the bar and going in off the keeper. One for the dubious goals panel? Not according to Jonesy who claimed the back spin he’d put on the ball was taking it in anyway. Stevo then deservedly completed his hat-trick, another clinical finish putting the result beyond any doubt before he made way for his new biggest fan, Fred. The veteran’s efforts to double his all-time goalscoring record for Fanzines was unfortunately hampered by an inability to differentiate between Jonesy and the referee and he remains on just the one (but what a one it was!). Not that this was ever going to be a day about personal milestones anyway. Perhaps the most complete performance of the season, and a superbly disciplined second half one by players all over the pitch, brought an emphatic victory over the team who came as league leaders but who by the end of the game were well beaten into second place.
Team: Broughton, Greenwood , Doorly, Ravenscroft, Whittaker, Cowlard (Remzi), Jones, Shaw, Connor (Lowe S), Collinson, Smith (Brown).
Scorers: Connor x 3, Smith x 2, Jones.
[[GM Olympico]] (0) 1 Fanzines Utd (4) 4
EMPAL Division Two
15 Jan 2006
At last. After what seemed like months but was only in fact five weeks, Fanzines took to the field in anger once again for their first game of 2006. No longer league leaders following Rushcliffe SHR taking advantage of last week's late cancellation but nevertheless chomping at the bit to prove their mettle.
Team selection proved slightly less problematic than usual with the eleven who started the demolition of Brinsthorpe all those weeks ago making themselves available. Any change would have been almost impossible to justify, and certainly beyond even Andy’s tinkering ideals. So it was, then, that the gauntlet was thrown down to the same side to produce the same standard of performance.
The Gaffer’s concerns over a sluggish start led to a thorough pre-match warm up and the bearded wonder must have wanted to hug a tree after his efforts reaped rich reward with the taking of a stunning 3-0 lead inside the opening fourteen minutes. Not only that, but all three came courtesy of the same boot, Stevo’s right, for what surely must be the quickest ever hat-trick scored by a Fanzines player (Thommo, if you’re reading this, prove me wrong!). The first the most confident of lobs over an advancing keeper after a flat back four were bamboozled by precise midfield interplay. The second a rasping drive beyond the left hand of Olympico’s net man after taking on another through ball and the third a poachers goal, on the doorstep to slot home the rebound from six yards after Adam’s effort was parried by the shellshocked custodian. In short, sublime finishing of the highest quality.
Stevo even found time to do his bit for the Notts FA benevolent fund, adding £8 after a somewhat overzealous refereeing decision, before the game settled down into a period of midfield drudgery. Chances were all of a sudden few and far between, though when they came they fell to the away team. Adam was played through and was denied by a bad bounce as he lifted his effort over the keeper but also unfortunately the bar. Stevo and Adam were then denied by last ditch defending before the fourth arrived on the stroke of half-time from that most outrageous of sources, Goals’ RIGHT foot. Again, another ‘garbage’ goal turned in from inside the six yard box but they all count the same - look in Rothmans next year and it will simply say Smith (1).
There’s no denying that a four goal cushion at the break was more than anyone had dared hoped for but Andy and The Gaffer are never ones to count their chickens and both were keen to warn against complacency, emphasising the need for both individual and collective responsibility if the game was to be made safe. What they hadn’t banked on was the away side treating the football like the proverbial hot potato for much of the second 45 instead of a long lost love, resulting in periods when resolute defending was the order of the day and Kip was called upon to be at his outstanding best. Fortunately he was, and with Olympico’s star striker going off injured at half-time the game never looked like slipping away. Chances came and went at both ends thanks to a mix of poor finishing and brave, and in Kip’s case, twice, brilliant, goalkeeping but it wasn’t until the final minute that a couple of lucky bounces for the home side saw the richly deserved shut out shattered.
Still, a thoroughly encouraging performance and an outstanding result when the long lay off could so easily have led to underwhelming disappointment. A number of memorable performances make the man of the match an impossible decision to make and anyway, I’m sure all would agree that the three points mean more than any individual accolade, especially as Rushcliffe’s draw with Chequers means a return to the top!
Team: Broughton, Greenwood (Sowerbutts), Doorly (Lowe S), Ravenscroft, Whittaker, Cowlard, Jones (Remzi), Shaw, Connor, Collinson, Smith
Scorers: Connor x 3, Smith.
[[Ardley Athletic]] (1) 1 Fanzines Utd (1) 2
EMPAL Division Two
22 Jan 2006
As yardsticks go, the annual challenge of subduing the free-scoring Ardley Athletic tends to provide a good indication for the ultimate direction of each Fanzines season, as proved by last years 4-0 away defeat. If the current league leaders had any realistic hopes of maintaining their position they would have to cope with both the narrow, slippy pitch at the Embankment and the absence of Lowey, who was busy dancing elsewhere (possibly with ladies). Defending his 100%-defeated record this season, The Gaffer decided to resist his instincts and chose not to fiddle with a winning formula, with the starting eleven remaining unchanged for the third straight game - surely an unheard of event! He sent out his charges having urged them to withstand the early pressure, win all the aerial challenges, and devise a plan to combat the threat of Ardley main man, Big Sam. Wise words indeed for, after an early period of scrappy punting, an Ardley cross was met by the head of both Whitts and Ravo (not a good idea), and the resulting limp clearance was shovelled to the feet of Big Sam who lashed a half-volley past Kip's elegant dive. Woops.
Fanzines were certainly struggling to find their (and each other's!) feet, although any rare passing movements in the game were invariably launched by the Claret & Amber, as Ardley increasingly relied on lofted balls to (and beyond) their front men. The lack of width was certainly providing a challenge, with Steve and Goals unable to expose any holes down the usual channels. Even so, it was Fanzines that began to impose themselves on the game. A number of half-chances from corners and throw-ins were created, and Steve will certainly feel that if he had been wearing last week's shooting-boots he may have been able to nudge himself over the 20-goal mark by half-time. As it was, the equaliser finally arrived from Jonesy's craftily flighted corner. Garry Goals decided against accepting the accolades for another garbage tap-in and instead placed his header against the crossbar, resulting in the ball being bundled over the line by a combination of Rich Shaw, Ardley shin and sheer desperation.
1-1 at half-time and strong words were spoken by all about how the upcoming half could define the nature of the season. A worrying thought,as the second half continued the trend of sporadic periods of possession interspersed with the occasionalhalf-chance. Adam & Steve failed to convert at one end; Kip made a couple of sprightly stops at the other; Rich Shaw began to impose himself in the midfield. The Fanzines back four were looking increasingly solid although, to be fair, the same could be said about Ardley who were rather playing into the away team's hands by failing to supply their tricky left winger and skilful Number 10 with enough decent possession. A costly mistake as The Gaffer made his change, bringing Twiggy on for the hard-working Ady Jones, and setting the scene for the game's defining moment.
Another corner, this time from the right, and Twiggy launched (over hit?) the ball to the back post where it was met, with cat-like grace (like a panther/ a gazelle/ a collapsing hippo) by the frame of the skipper. A header? By Lyndon?? Into the goal?!? The winning goal?!?! Astonishment swept across the plains. Surely such unnatural things should not be seen, not on the Sabbath? Ardley tried to respond but it was all in vain. The game was won;a game that last season would have been a frustrating stalemate or an agonising defeat. Another three points in the bag and Fanzines retain the narrow leadership of the division ahead of the relentless Rushcliffe SHR, with a series of games coming up against the league's lower placed teams.
Celebrations were tempered somewhat by the discovery that a spate of breaking & entering had occurred in the car-park, with a screwdriver-shaped hole in Kip's door the most obvious clue with which Rich and Daz could begin their sleuthing. The sight of a shadowy mysterious figure slinking away to a nearby house caused a brief flutter of blood-lust, until it was reasoned that it was just the lesser-spotted Duncan on his way home.
Team: Broughton, Greenwood, Doorly, Whittaker, Ravenscroft, Cowlard, Jones (Remzi), Shaw, Connor, Collinson (Heithus), Smith
Subs Not Used: S Lowe, Sowerbutts
Scorers: Own Goal, Cowlard.
Gaffer's Man of the Match: Rich Shaw
Ardley's Man of the Match: Steve, closely followed by Lyndon.
[[Brooks Villa]] (1) 1 Fanzines United (1) 2
EMPAL Division Two
29 Jan 2006
With Rushcliffe SHR on EMPAL Cup duty, Fanzines went into the game knowing a positive result would take them clear at the top of the Division 2 table. And while the prize on offer could not have been more tantalising, the opposition stood in their way could not have been tougher. Brooks/Fanzines games have, in the main, a history of being passionate and close fought affairs and it was no surprise to anyone when this one turned out to be more of the same.
There were changes at the top and tail of the team, with Kip working and Stevo away in London. In came Stuart for his first game of the season while up front Daz removed his splinters to come off the bench and back in for a first start since late November.
After the previous week’s tougher than tough win over Ardley, The Gaffer (backed up by his assistant for the day, Andy!) was keen that his troops should prepare themselves for a carbon copy and so it proved, with Brooks showing a determination and teamwork that gave few opportunities for Fanzines to display the dazzling football which had in patches mesmerised Olympico not two weeks previously.
Still, the early stages did bring chances. What proved to be the most outstanding piece of football in the match came after just five minutes when a swift break involving five players left Lyndon free in the box with just ex-Fanziner Fairholme in the home goal to beat. Unfortunately, however, the chance fell to the skipper’s feet and not his head and the chance went begging. That was the first of four one-on-one chances which were spurned, largely due to excellent goalkeeping by the aforementioned stopper.
A goal did finally arrive, however, and it was almost a carbon copy of the previous week’s opener against Ardley, with Jonesy’s corner being met by Goal’s flick header at the near post. This time, though, there was no help from the crossbar and an unfortunate opponent as the ball flew in to give the veteran sniffer another garbage marker.
Rather than set the home side back, falling behind only seemed to further strengthen their resolve and they came strong in the last ten minutes of the half, forcing the claret and amber on to the back front and finally claiming the equaliser on the stroke of half time, albeit in controversial circumstances. A corner form the left was headed powerfully goalwards by Martin Rainbow but blocked by Lyndon on the post, and seemingly in front of the line. The referee, however, didn’t see it that way and gave the goal, ruling the ball had completely crossed. The Russian linesman (Dan Brownoski) didn’t agree but on this occasion in footballing history it was the man with the whistle who had the deciding say. Lyndon protested but even the captain’s famed powers of persuasion held no sway and his determination to force the issue on what could have otherwise been seen as a red card offence thankfully disappeared into the chill Chillwell air.
The second 45 was a more even affair with both sides struggling to carve out clear cut chances until, not for the first time this season, the introduction of Twiggy with 15 minutes to go finally titled the balance of power in Fanzines favour. A couple of dancing runs down the left ended with pinpoint crosses which demanded quality saves from two Adam headers before a bouncing through ball saw the same player clear with two minutes to go and the chance to win it. His lob over the keeper seemed perfect but somehow agonisingly cleared the bar and it seemed we’d have to settle for the one point. However, cometh the hour cometh the Dazman and with just injury time left on the clock Adam and Jonesy combined to send the portly striker through on goal. With Twiggy screaming for a square pass Daz admitted afterwards he’d tried to give it him but was so knackered he ended up placing his ‘pass’ into the bottom corner instead! Pandemonium on the touchline and worry for all of those of a nervous disposition as Daz attempted to remove his shirt in celebration. Thankfully he didn’t manage it and there was just time for a Brooks player to try one last time to kick Rich Shaw into the middle of next week before the referee’s final whistle heralded the most hard earned of victories.
On reflection we have to take huge satisfaction from the manner in which we dug in and, to a man, kept believing that the winner would come. As Ravo was heard to say as the game entered its final stages, “Come on reds, we need to get something out of games like this”. He was right, we do. And the fact that we did bodes well for the remaining nine games of what continues to be a very tough and competitive season.
Team: Gadsby, Greenwood , Doorly, Ravenscroft, Whittaker (Sowerbutts), Cowlard, Jones, Shaw, Heithus, Collinson, Smith (Remzi).
Scorers: Smith, Heithus
Fanzines Utd (1) 3 [[Victoria Palace]] (1) 2
EMPAL Division Two
5 Feb 2006
Fanzines first ever home league game at Elms Park took a surreal twist as the claret and amber emerged from the changing room and seemingly into Gulliver’s Kingdom. Opponents Victoria Palace appeared to have been mid-season shopping in the land of the giants, lining up with a good half dozen 6-footers, not to mention a couple who would have touched the tape at 6’5. “Look at the size of ‘em” laughed Whitts nervously while Gareth, subs jacket already firmly zipped up, just laughed. Ravo, meanwhile, smiled knowingly. This was going to be yet another tough day at the office.
Kip retuned between the posts and Twiggy came in for the on-holiday Jonesy while Adam stepped down to allow Daz to play alongside the returning Stevo, an out-and-out front two which the management duo felt was best suited to unsettle the opposition.
After having looked forward to playing on the wide and flat expanse offered by Ruddington United’s first team pitch, it took the home side longer than anticipated to actually get used to it. For much of the opening 45 the league leaders were on the back foot and it was no real surprise when a carefully constructed move ended with one of VP’s 6’5ers giving the opposition the lead, firing into the top corner from 12 yards out.
Struggling to cope with the sheer size and strength of many of their opponents, there was much relief when respite arrived five minutes before the break courtesy of a fine finish from Goals, latching onto a cross field ball from Stevo and firing back across the keeper and into the bottom corner. VP’s manger stoked the fire for what was to come later by scampering forty yards down the touchline towards his own sub who was running the line, demanding that he raise his flag for a fictitious offside. That his protestations were ignored by his own player tell you all you need to know.
Half-time and Corporal Jones offered up ‘don’t panic’, stressing the need to work harder in closing down the opposition and hunt in packs, while looking to make better use of the width offered by our new facility when going forward.
What Corporal Jones hadn’t bargained for was a spot of handbags on the touchline between Andy and VP’s diminutive manger just after the restart which, combined with Palace’s goalkeeper having to leave the action five minutes later with a dislocated finger, seemed to light the blue touch paper as far as the home side taking charge of proceedings was concerned.
Stevo’s sumptuous finish from the edge of the box, across the stand-in keeper and inside the far post, had Fred in his usual state of rapture and even brought applause from Jim Cooke, the legendary Fanzines founding father making an all too-rare appearance to watch his heritage in action. When Goals notched his weekly near post header with 20 minutes left on the watch (his ninth goal in the last eight games he’ll thank me for telling you) it seemed we could all breathe a little easier. In fact, so confident were Rodney and Del Boy that G11 was summoned from the bench for a cameo following eight weeks out with a hamstring injury.
Unbeknown to those on the touchline, however, boredom at an improved second half display had obviously set in amongst a certain member of the back four who single-handedly decided to liven up the last seven minutes by gifting the opposition a second and then present them the opportunity to draw level with a series of shanked clearances. It would be unfair of this reporter to name him as his performances have admittedly been near exemplary following his return from honeymoon, but with his brother Justin on the sidelines you’d have thought the tousled blonde could have picked a better time to have a mare!
Despite all this late-game excitement there was still time for Lyndon to talk his way into the referees notebook before Twiggy’s efforts in seeing out the seven minutes of injury time were unappreciated to such an extent by Palace’s two-goal scorer that he felt the need to leave his stud marks on the fleet-footed one’s upper thigh. A sour ending to what had been a highly competitive and fairly fought encounter.
You could almost taste the relief at the final whistle, to take all three points against a good side with a (literally) huge physical advantage require a massive effort from all involved. Yet gain, three points from a game in which two years ago we would undoubtedly have come away with none.
Team: Broughton, Greenwood , Doorly, Whittaker, Ravenscroft, Cowlard. Remzi, Shaw, Connor (Gilbert), Heithus (Collinson), Smith (Lowe S)
Scorers: Smith x 2, Connor
Fanzines United (1) 2 [[Brooks Villa]] (0) 1
EMPAL Division Two
12 Feb 2006
From the moment we arrived to find some muppet had locked the internal doors of the pavilion and we couldn’t get into the changing rooms or, more importantly, put up the goalposts this had all the makings of another long day at the office. No change there then.
I don’t know what it is about being top of the league but every team we’ve played recently have seemingly turned up with about twenty players and given us a really tough game. For the second time in three weeks it was Brooks’ turn and with the addition of some new faces following the game at Chilwell Olympia, they once again pushed us all the way.
The only change to the starting eleven saw Adam reintroduced for Daz, a tactical switch which was to prove pivotal come the final whistle. Elsewhere, recurrence of hamstring injuries ruled out G11 and Jimbo, both of whom put their disappointment to one side and turned up to lend some much appreciated support on a miserable morning.
Kicking off twenty minutes late didn’t seem to have an adverse effect on either side as both became locked in a midfield battle for supremacy, Rich and Lyndon edging ahead, and allowing Dave to present Adam with a one on one opportunity which he coolly finished with aplomb, rounding ex-Fanziner Fairholme and rolling into the empty net.
At the other end Kip’s handling in dealing with a couple of long distance efforts was faultless while the back fours continued solidity prevented much close range work for the number one. Meanwhile, Stevo’s efforts to double the home side's advantage were twice prevented by last gap challenges from Brooks’ player-manager Gilly, pushed into service as an emergency centre-half, a role in which he excelled throughout the ninety minutes.
Although only one up at half-time the management duo expressed their pleasure at the way in which their charges had played as a team unit and were confident that a repeat performance would be rewarded with the three points. Unfortunately, the claret and amber threatened to undo all their good work with a lacklustre start to the second forty-five, handing the initiative to their opponents who went on to boss the opening third. For all their territorial advantage, however, they were unable to force an equaliser and a five minutes spell saw clear chances fall to Stevo, Twiggy and Goals, all of whom will feel they should have done better.
As it was the second came with twenty minutes left on the watch, Twiggy’s excellent long range free-kick being pushed onto the bar for Adam to nod home the rebound from six yards out. From there the game should have been safe but Kip was once again denied a first clean sheet of the season late on via a rare breach in the back four wall which allowed a fine finish form Brooks’ lively centre-forward. Despite four minutes of injury time a repeat never looked likely with Whitts having thankfully remembered the old advantage of ‘if in doubt, kick it (a long way) out’ after his mad five minutes of the previous week.
The whistle of impressive EMPAL debutant referee Paul Elliott signalled yet another hard earned three points, and our seventh win in a row – five of which have been by the odd goal. There is no doubt that this is now a team that has what it takes to work hard for each other and grind out a positive result against committed and determined opponents. With seven games to go, and on the evidence of every game played since Christmas, I think we can bet on that spirit being tested plenty more yet.
Fanzines Utd (8) 11 [[Nevabeen Athletic]] (0) 0
EMPAL Division Two
19 Feb 2006
It’s at the arse end of winter, as the weather moistens and the pitches turn to sloppy meringues, that the true nature of a Sunday League season comes into focus. Some teams lose hope and tempers as they struggle to maintain numbers, form and composure throughout a series of disappointing endeavours, whilst others, seeing the glittering prize of cheap imitation silverware on the near horizon, increase their efforts on the pitch almost as much as they decrease the hedonism off it. Having won their last seven increasingly tough games, Fanzines found themselves seven points clear at the top of the table with a large squad competing for a chance to impress against the league’s bottom team on another damp grey morning in Ruddington. Nevabeen Athletic had been living up to their name this season, with a particularly unhealthy goal difference of more than 100 goals against, but a recent victory over Brinsthorpe had clearly caused enough concern to the management that Lowe & Harrison decided against meddling too much with a winning formula, with only Fred coming in for Dave in preparation for his weeks of absence ahead.
Nevabeen took to the field sporting a shiny new kit and, seemingly, a shiny new set of players, but any fears of a big upset were allayed when Steve, having hit the post and then chipped over in the first two minutes, sprinted onto a through ball and eased it past the suspiciously erratic goalkeeper for the opener. It soon became apparent that the Nevabeen back-line could be opened up with ease with either a ball down the middle or down the channels. A first half of innumerable chances ended with an 8-0 scoreline, with Twiggy claiming three assists from three first time passes and Steve filling his boots (and his hat). Garry Goals has been so used to scoring from zero yards this season that he applied the same amount of force to a right footer from eighteen yards which both the keeper and defender obligingly allowed to trickle into the net. Joe scored the goal of the game with a cracking drive into the bottom corner after a slick passing move. Rich Shaw shanked a good chance wide, whilst Lyndon found himself clean through with the goal gaping but decided to wait until all the Nevabeen team had had a nice cup of tea and a biscuit before attempting to find a colleague's feet, by which time the chance had been somewhat missed. Adam scored after receiving a lovely backwards header from the Nevabeen centre half, and Twiggy himself got one but it wasn’t very good so I won't waste my time describing it.
A half-time of almost praise from Mr Lowe on a half-job well done, but nothing was taken for granted. Gareth and Daz were given a run out, but the biggest change was the Nevabeen decision to move their left-back into the goal where he proved to be much more effective than the previous encumbent. It was certainly proving to be tougher to create or take chances in the second half, though Steve was continuing to cause havoc with his pace and touch. Gaffer’s favourite, James, came on for Goals, having finally shaken off a niggling injury. Steve tucked away his fifth and Daz hit the bar from 90-ish yards before scoring from a probably offside position to maintain his almost goal-per-game ratio. Andy was more concerned about a first clean sheet of the season for Kip, and in truth it was rarely in doubt despite a few late forays by Athletic. Twiggy added his second of the game, having had a few minutes in the area to receive and control the ball and then pass it in at the near post.
11-0 then, and eight wins in a row. Rushcliffe’s cup activities mean that Fanzines are now ten points clear at the top having played two games more than their nearest rivals. The next two or three games could prove to be decisive, but team spirit is good and nobody in the squad is taking anything for granted. The league is there to be won, so let’s win it, shall we? Cheers.
Team: Gadsby, Lowe S , Doorly, Ravenscroft (Sowerbutts), Whittaker, Cowlard (Heithus), Remzi, Shaw, Collinson, Connor, Smith (Timpson).
Scorers: Connor x5, Remzi x2, Collinson, Doorly, Smith, Heithus
Subs cast aside in an unsentimental manner: Greenwood , Jones
Fanzines Utd (2) 3 [[Ardley Athletic]] (0) 0
EMPAL Division Two
12 Mar 2006
After what seemed like an eternity but was in fact only a fortnight, Fanzines returned to action on a bitterly cold mid-March morning, a freezing wind blowing snow flurries end to end along Elms Park’s sloping pitch. The freshly bronzed trio of Adam (holiday), Jonesy (holiday) and Jimbo (hair colouring) donned the sub suits with gusto as Andy and The Gaffer eventually came to an agreement over the starting eleven, Daz partnering Stevo up front while Fred retained his spot at right back after delivering on his promise and coaching Kip to a first clean sheet of the season in the previous game against Nevabeen.
Ardley, however, promised to present a much tougher task than the league’s basement boys and after an enterprising opening both teams struggled to get ball in to feet as conditions threatened to dominate. Ardley’s dangerous front two were being well marshalled by Whitts and Ravo while at the other end Stevo and Dazzler were finding life difficult against the wily figure of Ed Bolt, the veteran turning in a performance which rolled back the years. It was left to the wide man, then, to provide the home side with some impetus and not for the first time this season it was Goals who arrived unannounced to pounce from six yard after Twiggy’s shot came back off the keeper. Whitts then blazed wide and Daz headed over unchallenged as we began to turn the screw, the second effort bringing the bizarre awarding of a corner which in the spirit of fair play and common sense was rightfully overturned after Stevo pointed out to the somewhat eccentric referee that his strike partner was in fact wearing a red, and not green, shirt. With both the slope and wind in our favour a one goal half-time lead would have been slender fare and so much celebration followed as Twiggy’s expert delivery from another disputed corner deceived all and dropped in at the far post minutes before the break to double the advantage.
The half-time team talk was all about defending high up the pitch to counteract the wind and slope, a tactic made all the easier by the addition of a third goal 12 minutes after the re-start, Goals getting the final touch after a spot of pin ball in the Ardley box. The veteran’s return for the campaign now stands at a round dozen, his highest for a number of seasons and a more than healthy return from 14 starts. With a three goal cushion and opposition danger man Sam limping off after suffering a recurrence of an old achilles injury it just required a composed final half hour to ensure all three points were safely claimed. The final quarter brought an Ardley onslaught as they threw everything forward in a desperate attempt to grab a consolation to make things interesting but a combination of solid defending, good goalkeeping and a spot or two of good fortune - not to mention the great ‘hand or thigh’ debate - ended with the scoreboard unmoved and Kip with his second successive clean sheet.
So, nine straight wins, surely a club record (if only Charlie hadn’t ‘mislaid’ the stats from 1996/7…), and the perfect result to take into next Sunday’s clash against second placed Brinsthorpe Rangers. One game at a time gentlemen, one game at a time.
Team: Broughton, Lowe S (Timpson), Doorly (Jones), Whittaker, Ravenscroft, Cowlard, Remzi, Shaw, Connor, Heithus (Collinson), Smith.
Scorers: Smith x 2, Remzi
[[Brinsthorpe Rangers]] (2) 3 Fanzines Utd (0) 1
EMPAL Division Two
19 Mar 2006
From the moment Kip got in touch at twenty to nine to say he was still at work (in London!) as his cover had let him down there was a nagging feeling that this was just going to be one of those days. Jimbo had been forced to withdraw on Saturday due to illness and with both Dave and Twiggy also absent the squad was looking a little threadbare. Andy hatched a plan which - to cut an elaborate one short - involved himself playing up front and Fred in goal until Kip’s arrival but thankfully the number 10 shirt wasn’t dirtied as the ever-reliable custodian somehow managed to arrive just in time for kick-off without having broken the speed limit – or at least that’s what he told Rich and Daz!
Unfortunately, Kip’s efforts weren’t matched by the majority of his team mates in a thoroughly disappointing first half, undoubtedly the worst since the early season debacle at Inter FB. The watching trio of Andy, Adam and Gareth were bemused as all over the pitch footballing basics were being neglected by the men in red and amber – dangerous against any team in this league, suicidal against a team in second spot who produced a first half performance that was high in passion and commitment and which showed an unquestionable determination to take all three points. Normally, it has to be said, the mark of a Fanzines team, but sadly not on this occasion.
Having spoken pre-match about the need to watch out for the long ball over the top we fell victim to just that sucker punch midway through the opening 45, Rangers’ ever dangerous number 9 making no mistake one-on-one against Kip. Despite not managing an effort worthy of the name on target we looked like going in only one behind, thanks in the main to an outstanding goal line clearance from Ravo, until another aberration two minutes before the break. Pushing out to play offside with the ball just twenty yards away is never the best idea, but to do it against such a potent striker as Mr Moriarty is, well…let’s just say that despite an initial brilliant one handed save from Kip it was no surprise to see the ball nestling in the back of the net.
The half-time team talk centred around the need to go back to basics and do the simple things right – like tackling, passing, running, heading etc. And in fairness we did, though unfortunately a third goal eight minutes after the restart virtually killed off all hope of getting something tangible out of the game. A hurried clearance fell straight to Brinsthorpe’s number 8 whose first-timer from 22 yards flew over Kip and in off the underside of the crossbar. When things aren’t going your way they go in. Adam’s introduction as an extra man up front at last saw Rangers’ back line troubled, with a header from Daz clipping the top of the bar and another effort being scrambled off the line before Mr Collinson swept home from close range with 15 minutes to go. Despite a much improved second half performance, however, Brinsthorpe held firm to deservedly take all three points and retain their interest in the promotion chase.
As for Fanzines, a very quiet dressing room afterwards suggested much reflection and, hopefully, the realisation that there is still much hard work to be done if the craving for end of season success is to be satisfied.
Team: Broughton, Lowe S, Doorly, Whittaker, Ravenscroft, Cowlard, Jones (Collinson), Shaw, Connor, Heithus (Sowerbutts), Smith
Scorer: Collinson
Fanzines (1) 5 [[Total Reclaims Demolition]] (0) 3
EMPAL Division Two
26 Mar 2006
Character was required by the lads in claret and amber after a shocking performance against Brinsthorpe last week which brought an end to the club record 9 wins on the bounce.
It was going to be tough. All the words on the grapevine were that TRD were a good but very physical side. Things were not helped when manager Andy 'alan titchmarsh' Lowe couldnt make it as he had done his back in tugging on his weeds.
There was no panic in the gaffer's eyes though as he gathered the squad on the pitch a full 20 minutes before kick off, cones in hand for a full premiership work out (we'll say no more on the sprint race between Mr Cowlard and Whitts). Warm up complete and back into the changing rooms for the announcement of todays team. Broughts(working), Wood in goal, Remzi back in for the absent Smith on the left and Heithus (working) replaced by Collinson, which left a strong bench made up of Timpson and Sowerbutts.
So to the game...
Fanzines started the half like they were still in Eastwood as TRD came out with all guns blazing, however chances were not created as a resolute back four held firm but the constant pressure would tell eventually (wouldnt it?) as TRD continued to set up camp in the claret and amber half of the superb Ruddington pitch, a long ball through the middle set Stevo on the way rounding the keeper 1-0! Alas, not to be, as an offside had been given by the referee. Looked a tight one but probably a good decision.
TRD came back once again, their mouthy but skillful number 9 sailing through two challenges before Whitts got his foot to the ball and nearly bagged his first of the season - it wouldve been a quality own goal if it hadnt been for the upright. 0-0 at half time would be great given the pressure but no one had told Steve who with a minute or so left beat the offside trap to slide it past the keeper and put us into an undeserved lead at half time.
The gaffer was quite calm considering - use the wings more and show some more passion without getting involved in the bickering coming from the opposition were the words from the messiah. The next 45 would show whether we really wanted this title - all would agree.
A goal in the first minute of the second half from TRD was the worst possible start wished for but probably deserved on reflection, a quick ball over the top and the ball drilled into the bottom corner, but this team doesnt lie down anymore and duly went up the other end and regained the lead - a superb cross from twigs and the clubs top scorer buried it past the flapping keeper. The second half continued swinging back and forth as TRD responded well again with a quite fantastic finish from the pacy striker when it seemed he was going nowhere.
Fanzines by now though were beginning to get the ball out wide using the left flank particularly well, twigs getting the better of the fullback again to get another sublime cross into Mr Connor who bagged his hat-trick. A fourth came soon after - this time remzi was in the right spot to take his time and slide the ball home all coming from good work by Adam. The referee was coming under increasing pressure from the players in orange and, after a scramble in the box, felt obliged to award a penalty against a very unlucky Gareth. So three minutes left, could TRD get an equaliser, would the nerves show? Or could we get another to finish them off?
Luckily stevo provided the answer with his fourth and the sides fifth to gain another 3 points in a game where we soaked up a lot of pressure but showed grit and determination to pull through in what is proving to be a tough and highly competitive season.
Gaffers MOM- tough decision for the gaffer in the pub afterwards, center mids gave 100%, Adam had another sound game, Stevo bagged another 4 but gaffer decided to give it to the guy whose pace down the left was a constant threat, setting up steve for a couple and scoring himself, Mr Neil Remzi.
Get well soon Mr Lowe!!
Team: Wood,Doorly,Lowe S(Timpson),Ravenscroft,Whittaker,Remzi,Cowlard,Shaw,Jones (Sowerbutts),Collinson,Connor
[[Butler United]] (0) 1 Fanzines Utd (0) 0
EMPAL Division Two
2 Apr 2006
Once again the manager decided his personal commitments were more important than this crucial fixture. So it was left to the gaffer to pick the team. Unfortunately Fred went sick overnight and was replaced by the ever patient Gareth, who got a well deserved recall. The other change saw Adey Jones drop to the bench to be replaced by Jimbo, Gary Goals joined Adey there after his return from a week off and Kip was also back between the posts.
Confidence seemed high, although we knew we’d be in for a tough game, especially starting against the wind in the first half. It was hard going as Butler seemed content to lump it over the top to their quick striker. Neil found it particularly tough on the left wing although the pitch was awful over there and he eventually swapped with Jimbo after about half an hour, which seemed to spur him on. Gareth slotted in nicely at full back and Whitts was immense at centre half. We just needed a lucky break and it seemed to have arrived when Lyndon swung in a good free-kick only to see it handled on the line by a Butler player. Unfortunately, for us the only person not to see it was the referee. As usual we soaked up a lot of pressure from Butler but got to half-time on level terms.
No changes at half-time and we just felt we needed to try and play a bit of football. However, it was not to be as only one team truly showed a belief and a desire to win (CLUE NOT FANZINES). It was a pretty even second half but we lacked a bit of flair, some quality and above all else composure. The difference told when half way through the second half, Butler took the lead. The ball broke to Butler’s solitary striker who got inside the penalty area and shot against Whitts leaving Kip no chance at all. Neil and Jimbo swapped wings again, but to no avail and Gary replaced Neil shortly afterwards. Joe injured his knee, so Adey was thrown on with Jimbo moving to left back. Although, we had about 8 corners and put Butler under a lot of pressure, we lacked a killer punch. The best chance fell to Steve who saw his goal bound shot brilliantly saved by the Butler keeper. Whitts went up front for the last 10 minutes, but still fanzines couldn’t find an equaliser.
MAN OF THE MATCH : Chris Whittaker (By a mile)
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO TEAMS: Desire to win, lack of quality and composure on the ball
Fanzines Utd (1) 2 [[Rushcliffe SHR]] (0) 2
EMPAL Division Two
9 Apr 2006
How exciting! Having cruised through the middle of the season and powered their way to the top of the table, recent results had seen a good old-fashioned Fanzines falter. Still top, but with points still required to guarantee both promotion and a much yearned for league title. Having recently lost to resurgent Brinsthorpe, a similar result against fellow promotion-pushers Rushcliffe on the succulent Elms Park pitch would throw the chase wide open. Down to the wire indeed…
The reunited management team found themselves with the forgotten luxury of an almost full squad from which to make their selection but, with G11 failing his customary early morning fitness test, there were only minor changes from the previous week’s defeat to Butler, leaving Dave and Ady to boost the tan quotient on the sub’s bench. It was immediately clear that both sides had players who were comfortable on the ball and had defenders who were competitive yet fair in the challenge.Whilst Fanzines saw their attempts to use the pace and skill of Steve constantly thwarted by Rushcliffe’s rapid centre-half, the away side began to impose themselves with a series of slick passing moves that, at times, left the claret back four looking pedestrian and resulted in Stuart being forced into a couple of outstanding saves. But the league leaders began to find their form as the half progressed and, having seen a firm header rebounding down from the crossbar (but apparently not over the line) from a Remzi corner, Fanzines took the leader from a blinding finish from the same player. Having closed down the full-back, Adam won the ball, cut inside and drilled it across the astonished keeper into the top corner. A belter.
With the score 1-0 at half-time the tone from Lowe & Harrison was certainly encouraging and, though the warning’s against complacency were issued, the expected second-half onslaught from Rushcliffe never materialised. For a team facing elemination from the title race, there was a strange lack of passion about their play. And when Whittaker headed home from Neil’s deep corner mid-way through the half to extend the lead it seemed to all concerned that the game was over. Attempting to shore up the match against Rushcliffe’s reshuffled 3-4-3, Andy replaced his wide men with more defensively minded options, and the game was indeed drifting to conclusion when a defensive clearance was volleyed back straight into the top corner by the opportunistic No. 10, much to the astonishment of all.
The grip on the trophy was loosened again. And when Stuart’s fluffed clearance fell to the oppostion striker who was then bundled over in the box in the last minute, the hand was in danger of coming off completely. The debate over the validity of the penalty was soon immaterial as the confident striker dragged the ball wide of the upright, resulting in the biggest cheer of the season from the Fanzines supporters. Surely now the game was won.
But no. As the minutes of added time ticked on, the ball was swept over to the unmarked feet of Rushcliffe’s penalty taker who, having sidled in from the left flank, had an agonising amount of time to control the ball and lash it past Stuart for the equaliser. The last kick of the game, and a change in fortunes that could have huge implications for both teams. Fanzines have been too close to promotion for too long without actually clinching it to belive that they have yet succeeded, whilst Rushcliffe and Brinsthorpe still have to play each other in what will prove to be an epic encounter. With memories of last year’s last-match failure against Notts Athletic still fresh in the minds, Fanzines know that victory in their final game gainst Total Reclaims will clinch the title at last and set the seal on a memorable campaign.
Team: Gadsby, Sowerbutts, Timpson, Whittaker, Ravenscroft, Cowlard, Remzi (Jones), Shaw, Connor (Heithus), Collinson, Smith (Lowe, S)
Sub Not Used (and gathering dust in the corner): Greenwood
Scorers: Collinson, Whittaker.
Man of the Match: Collinson
Match report - [[Total Reclaims Demolition]] (2) 5 v Fanzines United (0) 3
EMPAL Division Two
26 Apr 2006 7.30pm
Forget the disappointment of the result and look back on a successful season. OK, so we lost out on the league title after being top for three months but the very reason why the team has gained promotion was encapsulated in 45 minutes of football at South Normanton. 2-0 down at half-time against a team employing a linesman with arm set to auto-raise and whose mantra could well be - and, hey, probably is - ‘if it moves, kick it’, Andy’s team talk was never going to be easy. Nor, as it turned out, was it conventional, consisting as it did of throwing his mobile phone on the floor when it rang for approximately the 20th time in less than an hour (‘It’s no fun being elsewhere when all you want to be is with the lads’ said Whitts), swearing loudly and offering the odd piece of advice in a deliberately semi-accusatory manner, a highly unusual ritual which remarkably produced the desired affect as the second half was a completely new ball game.
Well, almost. 2-0 became 2-1 thanks to Stevos’ 30th of the season from close range before the worst crime of all - conceding within 60 seconds of kick-off - saw backs return to the wall. But what followed fair warmed the cockles of this scribe. A fightback of quite momentous character. A change in formation and personnel, throwing caution to the wind and Adam’s precision finish from close range with 15 minutes to go after good work from Dave and Jonesy - game on. Then, a towering, looping header from the excellent Collinson and it’s 3-3 with 10 minutes left on the clock.
Brinsthorpe, sat behind the goal with cigars on 15 minutes previous, are now squirming uncomfortably in their seats, wondering if all that beer money spent on Nevabeen was going to be worth it after all. There looks like being only one winner. Four minutes to go and Daz is clean through – to shoot or square it to Stevo, that is the question. He opts for the former and sees his effort well saved, the rebound prodded goalwards but agonisingly cleared off the line by a retreating defender. Then, with just a minute left on the clock and Fred pushed forward as an auxiliary striker, a quick break and it’s all over bar the fifth in injury time. The muppets goaded and clucked like they’d won the World Cup but the provocation brought nothing but a blind eye from the referee and, thankfully, blank looks from those in claret and amber. Their greatest achievement this season was apparently preventing us from winning the league. Ours was to gain promotion. Thanks, I’ll take that and hopefully never see you again.
//The first season back in Division One for almost 10 years ends in Fanzines' highest ever league finish, despite some peculiarly peculiar results. Read on.//
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''Fanzines Utd 2 v [[West End]] 0''
The Gaffer may have got half the weather report wrong – there was indeed a wind approaching gale force proportions but no hint of the predicted torrential rain – but that was all as his first game back at the helm after seven seasons absent saw his charges claim a famous 2-0 victory over the defending league champions. West End made claim for missing key players but then so were the mighty claret and amber without Collinson, Remzi, Greenwood, Gilbert and the retired Sowerbutts – all five key players in last season promotion-winning squad. Still, a squad is not a squad without good reason and as they missed out so did others grab the chance for glory.
With Elms Park’s new pavilion having failed its building inspection it was down to the other end of the village and the prospect of changing two at a time in what are officially the smallest changing rooms ever built. Most took advantage of the late Summer sun to change al fresco, another reason for being grateful that The Gaffer’s barometer was on the blink. Still, the wind to contend with and when Lyndon called incorrectly the prospect of a first half defending deep loomed. However…the home side started brightly and passed the ball around with something approaching confidence, leaving The Gaffer and his assistants on the touchline to ponder if a shock might well be on the cards. Chances at either end were few and far between as defences looked on top, Ravo and Whitts having to be at their best to marshal the ever threatening presence of Arnold Town front man, Kevin Mabon. But while one number 9 was struggling to make his mark the other was simply biding his time. Half an hour gone and fine interplay down the right enabled Jonesy to pick out Dan at the far post. A mixture of anticipation and bravery from the southern Mancunian got the ball back across goal where a delighted Stevo slid home between keeper and post. 1-0 and game very much on. There then followed the home sides best spell of the match, with Dan fizzing the ball across the six yard box, Daz scraping the outside of the post and then being denied a clear penalty when bundled down from behind (some effort by the covering defender!) before Stevo’s follow-up was headed off the line. It wasn’t until five minutes before half-time that West End really threatened, first forcing Kip into a fine save and then having a wind-assisted 30-yard speculator come back off the bar.
All talk at the break was of upping the work rate further and keeping the ball, the first of which proved necessary and the second difficult as West End upped their game. The crossbar and Kip again saved the day in a crazy 30 second spell midway through the second 45, which ended with Jimbo heading off the line as the referee thankfully blew for a free-kick to relieve the pressure with Rich Shaw lying prone in the six yard box. At the other end chances were few and far between but Daz and Stevo continued to work hard and with Lyndon finally bringing some composure to the middle of the park there was relief all round as last season top scorer sprang the offside trap with 14 minutes remaining and finished over the advancing keeper with nonchalant ease. A resilient final quarter of an hour produced little in the way of alarm despite the visitors throwing caution against the wind what appeared to be a 4-2-4 formation. Indeed, the nearest either side came was when substitute Fred followed up a brave challenge in the middle of the park by sending a 35-yarder just the wrong side of the post with the keeper nowhere. So, still just the one lone goal in a 12 year career for the Fanzines veteran.
The final whistle signalled much delight both on and off the pitch, with all credit to West End who were magnanimous after having suffered their first league defeat for over sixteen months. Before a ball was kicked all talk was of how tough this season was going to be. If this game is any indicator it will definitely be so, but the result also proves the club has the potential to be a competitive force with players of an ability to surprise not only the opposition but also maybe themselves…
The Gaffer’s smile rating 6/10 – OK for a start but could do better.
Team: Broughton, Timpson, Doorly (Richmond), Whittaker, Ravenscroft, Cowlard, Jones, Shaw (Lowe S), Connor, Heithus, Brown (Smith).
Scorer: Connor x 2
''[[Brinsthorpe Rangers]] 0 v Fanzines Utd 2''
Sunday saw the eagerly anticipated rematch with last seasons Division 2 champions Brinsthorpe Rangers. Keen to lay to rest the ghosts of the dismal conclusion to the 05/06 season, and to reaffirm the belief that Brinsthorpes title had been gained not only on merit, but the unfortunate deduction of points from others. The claret and ambers were again without key players ensuring that The Gaffer didn't have the luxury of fielding an unchanged team.
Ravos absence (deputised superbly by Adam) forced the only notable alteration to the starting eleven, but the return of Remzi, as well as the signing of Jonsy meant that the bench, also warmed by Duncan and Fred, was not only crowded, but boasting an abundance of pace and talent.
A fairly slow start by both teams, owing partly to the unseasonably warm weather and part to caution from the top flights new pair, saw very few chances in the opening twenty minutes. A moment of early indecision from Kip saw the ball break to an attacker, but for the second week running, Jimbo was able to hack clear from the line. Testing corners from both sides led to snatched efforts, on one occasion Brinsthorpe again beating a challenge; this time Adie stood firm to nod away when an opener looked on. At the other end, Brinsthorpes new goalkeeper looked confident with both kicking and handling and opportunities were at a premium.
The breakthrough came when a hopeful but wayward cross was intercepted by Kip, his throw to Dan, having swapped wings with Jonesy, was carried forward unchallenged until an inside pass in the last third to Daz saw the big centre forward turn first inside, then out, then back in again, before unleashing a shot from well outside the box. The slightest of touches from the Brinsthorpe challenge did little to alter the flight of the ball as it flew into the back of the net.
Brinsthorpe continued to probe, but the back four, this week resembling a San Tropez swatch (Adams honeymoon return running the permatanned Jimbo to a close second) comfortably dealt with everything thrown at them.
The second half started in a similar vain as the first had ended; Fanzines playing neat football through the middle, Brinsthorpe continuing to try long, angled deliveries that had been so successful in last seasons corresponding encounter. Corners from Adie and Dan tested the aerial resolve of the home team, whilst the front two of Steve and Daz upped their already impressive work rate to ensure errors were made by the Brinsthorpe back line. The dynamic duo in the centre of the park had made their intentions clear with several tough challenges. Those penalised led to free kicks in dangerous positions, but all resulted by in large to the solidity of the back line to nothing. The single time the defence was breeched, Jonesy was once again able clear from the line.
As the clock ticked, a BEAUTIFULLY FLIGHTED free kick from JOE (NOT TWIGGY) from the middle of the park eluded the Brinsthorpe line and Stevo, as so often before, brought the ball down comfortably before slotting home from eight yards.
Frustration from Brinsthorpe did little to improve their chances, and the introduction of a fresh Duncan and Fred to tighten things up meant that for all their efforts, the home side were unrewarded.
A second win, a second clean sheet. Most importantly, the attitude; chasing back, supporting, covering and encouraging. The start to the season has been by no means easy, but with the right frame of mind, we can maybe cause a few more 'shocks'.
Team: Broughton, Timpson, Doorly (Lowe S), Whittaker, Collinson, Cowlard, Jones (Richmond), Shaw, Connor, Heithus, Brown (Remzi)
Scorers: Heithus, Connor
''Fanzines Utd 0 [[Burton Joyce A]] 4''
[img[http://photos-c.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v107/49/40/675480657/n675480657_171626_3020.jpg]]
Most of us have been playing football all of our lives. When we first started playing, in our back gardens or streets or living rooms or kitchens, it was the sheer pleasure of being able to move this thing, this ball, that made us do it. Maybe we’d seen other people do the same thing, other kids maybe, or family members, or maybe we’d been taken to join huge crowds watching tiny people in the distance doing something similar. Maybe it was the desire to join in, or the desire to control this object that motivated us. For those that it gripped, it became something unavoidable. This football became a focus of our attention. It became our world. If we could master the ball we could master the world. And, most of all, it was fun.
We honed our skills in the playground, day after day. We learned of heroes and imagined that we could play like them. We dreamed of being good enough to be watched by those huge crowds. We bought the shirts; we wore the boots; we wanted to be picked first. We joined teams and began to learn what it felt like to play proper games against proper teams. We learned how to win, and how to lose. We learned we weren’t good enough. We were too old, too slow, too fat, too thin, too small, too timid, too weak. We would never make it to the top.
But still we play. Because it means we can feel part of something. Because we can challenge ourselves to be as good as we’re ever going to be. Because we can gather on a sunny Sunday morning and look forward to a top of the table clash in the top division of our league. We’ve earned this; by improving together for two seasons of hard work and success; by two great wins at the start of this season. We may never be in this position again and we all want it to continue. It’s fun to play, to be involved, in a successful team. No one else may know or care, but we do. It matters to us. It matters when Twiggy finds himself clean through in the opening minutes and sees his shot pushed around the post. It matters when a cross from the left is not closed down, is misjudged by Whitts and is headed into the net by the Burton Joyce striker. And when we fail to clear our lines and a dropping ball is cleanly volleyed into the bottom corner, we all feel it. What we feel the most though is that we’re not doing ourselves justice. We know what we’re doing wrong. We know we can do better. We’ve been playing and learning this game all our lives.
So we strive and battle. We’re frustrated by our inability to impose ourselves on the game. We lose Rich Shaw, our midfield force, to a serious knee injury. We start to focus our frustrations on each other and on the perceived injustices of the referee. Two further sloppy goals are conceded through a mixture of poor communication and poor marking. We forget that we are not significantly inferior to the opposition. Older maybe, and probably less fit, but in the periods when we prove we can actually pass and control the ball we create chances that Adam and Dave and Garry would expect to have converted. And we tell ourselves that the scoreline was perhaps not a true reflection of the difference between the two sides and that, on another day, against another team, with a full strength side, the performance and the result would be different. So we continue to practice, and we all want to be picked, and we all want to be involved, because it’s fun to play this game, we’ve been doing it all our lives, and we’re not going to stop now.
Team: Broughton, Timpson, Doorly, Whittaker, Ravenscroft, Cowlard, Jones (Biernat), Shaw (Greenwood), Remzi, Collinson, Brown (Smith)
Subs Not Used: S Lowe, Richmond
''Fanzines United 5 Boat & Horses 1''
County Cup
24 Sep 2006
They were rubbish. Had a man sent off for swearing at the linesman (Dave). We won at a canter.
''[[Radcliffe Olympic]] (1) 5 Fanzines Utd (1) 2''
EMPAL Div One
1 Oct 2006
So, this is how it happened. Devoid of goalkeepers due to last second cancellations, the Gaffer asked for volunteers and Twiggy bravely stepped forward. Jimbo was hiding out in Derbyshire after another run in with The Man, having crossed the county line to escape capture, so Fred utilised his height at right-back rather than between the sticks, and Adam continued at centre-half. On the big, sloping pitch, memories of the 5-6 cup defeat from last season were still fresh in many minds and an early Olympic onslaught was expected but it was Fanzines who looked more comfortable at the start. A few half chances went begging before Dave won the ball in the centre and slid a reverse path through to Dan who outpaced the full-back and lashed it first time into the net. And, to be honest, the clarets were pretty comfortable for the rest of the first half until an Olympic corner to the near post was spilled by Neil and poked home by the grateful forward. A cheap goal, and a bit of a sickener after the industrious and composed performance, but very much the story of the match.
Olympic were clearly struggling to put out a fit squad and had made two changes by the start of the second half, but Fanzines began the second period slightly sloppily and failed to expose any weaknesses in the opposition. Even so, the goal with which Olympic took the lead was a pure fluke, as the winger mis-hit a cross from the right which sailed over the back-pedalling Remzi into the top of the net. And suddenly the few flair players in the home team began to play, running at the Fanzines defence, dragging players out of position and forcing rash challenges. Free-kicks from the edge of the box began to be conceded, and from this the blues made it 3-1, as the ball was rolled to the side and drilled fiercely into the bottom corner. As impressive as that strike was, the fourth that came a few minutes later was ridiculously frustrating as another lofted shot from way outside the box sailed over Twiggy’s fingers and into the goal. Three cheap goals from nothing and Fanzines were completely undone yet, if just a few of the chances that the clarets created in the last quarter of the game had been taken, a point may still have been salvaged. Instead, a move to three at the back created space for the home side who capitalised with a quick breakaway goal to make it 5-1. Fanzines got a late consolation as Dave prodded a pass through to Steve who, having been initially blocked by the onrushing keeper, managed to sweep the ball into the net from a prone position, but the overwhelming feeling at the end of the game was one of immense frustration that 3 points had been thrown away. At least the team is proving to be competitive in the top division this season, but the results have shown that every point will be vital thoughout the year in order to avoid slipping back down the leagues.
Team: Remzi, Lowe S, Doorly, Collinson, Ravenscroft, Cowlard, Jones (Richmond), Greenwood, Heithus (Smith), Connor, Brown
Subs Not Used: None
Goals: Brown, Connor
''[[White Swan]] (0) 2 Fanzines United (0) 5''
EMPAL Div One
8 Oct 2006
You get to see some interesting places on these Sunday morning jaunts. A trip to a demilitarized complex just round the corner from the old Commodore venue for a game on a tiny pitch against the hard-battling White Swan, anyone? Yes please. Sweet.
The previous week’s goalkeeping issues were soothed by the return of Kip, whilst Jimbo managed to avoid the drink, the clubs and The Law to slot into the right-back spot. Swan were clearly up for the game and started strongly, contesting every ball and questioning every decision, never a good sign when Eric the silently wheezing ref is involved. Much of the Swan play (and noise) revolved around the combative number six in midfield, and both Lyndon and Dave worked hard to meet his challenges head on. As the pitch was so small, there was little chance to get the ball down and play, but equally neither side was able to stretch the opposition out of shape. The better, clearer chances fell to Fanzines players but time and composure was absent in a satisfactory, but ultimately unproductive, first half.
The deadlock was broken mid-way through the second period. As a Fanzines free-kick was won in the centre of the pitch, The Gaffer barked his instructions to Dan (“Hit it”) and Dave (“Follow it in”), and as the keeper duly spilled the strongly struck shot, Dave was able to nudge the ball over the line with a deft flick of his upper right thigh/testicle. And, to be honest, that appeared to be the end of it. There was a limited threat coming from the boys in blue (and red) as Adam and Ravo repelled all advances, whilst Fanzines were rarely given space to manufacture an opening. Then, mishap. Kip’s miscued goalkick fell straight to the head of the White Swan striker who nodded it forward to his strike colleague, and he volleyed the ball over the annoyed keeper. For those who had experienced the turnaround of the previous week, a familiar sinking feeling may have begun to spread. Fortunately, the game was turned in the claret’s favour. Dave found himself in the box and his misplaced sideways pass evaded Joe but found Dan’s speedy left foot and the ball was taught the meaning of goal. (ahem).
When you’re hot, even toe poke tackles/crosses fly into the net, as Dan proved with his second as he prodded the ball from the touch line into the very top corner. And when Daz curled a belter round the retreating centre-halves and floundering keeper to make it 4-1, the scene was set for a hotly contested goal-of-the-match debate.
Swan pulled a goal back with a well executed cross/header combo, though some Fanzines players had stopped playing at the time since the ref was in the process of trying to sanction a substitution, bless him. Still, no matter, as Dan was able to complete his hat-trick, benefiting from Richmond and Biernat induced havoc in the Swan box. Overall, a very pleasing result, three very valuable points in the bag and another indication that the claret’s should be able to attain at least a mid-table position in the league this season.
Team: Broughton, Timpson (Lowe S), Doorly, Collinson, Ravenscroft, Cowlard, Jones, Greenwood, Heithus (Richmond), Connor (Biernat), Brown
Subs Not Used: None
Goals: Greenwood, Brown x3, Heithus
''[[Freeman & Mitchell]] (0) 2 Fanzines United (1) 1''
EMPAL Div One
15 Oct 2006
It’s always the games that we should learn the most from that are the ones that we want to forget. Fresh from the determined victory over White Swan, Fanzines returned to their former home at Gresham to play a Freeman & Mitchell side propping up the Division One league table. The recipe for complacency was completed when it emerged that the home side had only mustered ten fit players, and though pre-match talk concentrated on ignoring the extra man advantage it was surely the reason for the sluggish start to the game. Freeman adopted a canny 3-5-1 formation, sitting very deep and denying Fanzines any opportunity to exploit any spaces behind the back-line. The clarets continually found themselves with time and space with the ball amongst the unhurried back four, but then were quickly closed down as soon as the ball was moved forward. Sharper passing and more varied movement may have created more opportunities, but as it was the game became dour and monotonous. To their credit, Freeman worked hard to impose themselves with their skilful number 9 continually forcing both Adam and Ravo to make emergency challenges and interceptions, whilst their deep-lying midfielder began to control the game with his passing, consistently pulling the Fanzines midfield out of shape as they strove to close him down. Just as the game appeared to be heading for a half-time stalemate Fanzines were awarding a free-kick on the edge of the box when a rare passing move was adjudged to have been interrupted by a misplaced tackle on Dave, though the contact was minimal. Regardless, Dan’s goal-scoring form continued, as he drove the ball under the wall to give the visitors an undeserved lead.
The Gaffer struggled to hide his frustrations at the break, but refrained from making any changes to formation or personnel. As the second period progressed though it became increasingly apparent that Fanzines were unlikely to extend their advantage without adopting a more attacking approach, a change that never materialised. Then, just as Fanzines’ first goal came out of the blue, Freeman equalised. The Freeman striker held up the ball well, and as he was closed down he layed the ball off to the oncoming midfielder. Though the resulting shot from way outside the box was struck firmly at the middle of goal, Kip will be bitterly disappointed that his handling was for once flawed as the ball spilled from his grasp and into the net. Gaffer attempted to shake some lethargy from his side by replacing Dan and Dave with Jonsy and Whitts, but there appeared to be no greater cohesion or urgency from the clarets. Instead, it was Freeman who increased their dominance, never once appearing to suffer from being a man short. It seemed inevitable when Freeman took the lead as Lyndon’s failed challenge in the box allowed the Freeman striker to run onto the ball and smash it home. And a third very nearly followed as Fanzines were twice exposed at the back as they piled forward in search of an equaliser, lucky to escape when the freeman striker won a one on one tussle with Joe and saw his shot rebound off the post. Fanzines were sunk. A criminal loss of three points, especially in the context of a league where any of the teams are clearly capable of beating any other on any given Sunday. Passion and frustration spilled over into recrimination in the changing room. If this match is to prove to be a turning point in the season, the challenge is to convert it into a positive experience and to ensure that such a defeat never happens again.
Team: Broughton, Timpson, Doorly, Collinson, Ravenscroft, Cowlard, Jones, Greenwood (Whittaker), Heithus, Connor, Brown (Biernat)
Subs Not Used: Lowe S, Richmond
Goal: Brown
''Fanzines United (6) 10 [[Wollaton Arms]] FC (0) 1''
County Cup
22 Oct 2006
You win some, and you lose some. Or rather, you win one and you lose one. The recent yo-yo of results saw Fanzines bouncing back to the sloping pitch on the backside of Elms Park for the second of a continuing series of County Cup games. Wollaton Arms of the EMPAL 2nd Division had knocked out 1st Division Radcliffe Olympic in the previous round and had played in the top flight themselves in the previous season, so the possibility of another upset was lingering in the air like the odour of rotting shinpads. In the home side’s changing room prior to the game, The Gaffer and his new trainee (Anton?) were keen to stress the importance of concentrating on the basics and establishing a base from which the team could impose itself, but could scarcely believe that their words would be acted on so effectively.
With both the wind and the slope in their faces, Fanzines started the game strongly and never looked back. Within the first five minutes, Stevo picked up the ball on the left flank, skinned the stocky full-back and slammed it past the keeper at the near post. A couple of minutes later, the same two players came together in the box and the ref had no hesitation in penalising the foul despite the furious protests of the Wollaton players, a theme which was to dominate the rest of the game. Unperturbed, Dave maintained his 100% record from the spot. Fanzines were rampant, exposing space behind the high Wollaton back-line and using the pace on the flanks of Jonsy and Duncan. Uncertainty was spreading throughout the opposition, symbolised by the mix-up between keeper and defender when failing to deal with Fred’s cross which gifted a simple tap-in for Daz. Duncan’s ability to run with the ball first created a chance for Daz which was narrowly put wide, before an almost identical cross was brilliantly flicked home by Steve. The same player was quickly able to complete his hat-trick when Dave’s clipped cross was missed completely by the permanently-annoyed full-back, gifting a chance in the six-yard box that he was never going to miss. Even Whitts got in on the act, celebrating another of Lyndon’s freeloading holidays by intercepting the ball in the centre circle and running away from the defenders to beat the keeper with ease.
A very satisfactory first half performance, with the only concern being the increasingly robust challenges that the frustrated Wollaton players were beginning to unleash. Certainly, the away side were more determined and committed in the second 45 minutes and Fanzines had to work hard to maintain their composure and discipline. The long passes that had worked so well in the first half were proving difficult to control as they were blown down the slope by the strong wind, and it was Wollaton that had the first success mid-way through the half. The pacey number 9 was forced sideways across the box before Adam blotted his outstanding performance at centre-half with a rash challenge, and Kip had little chance with the resulting penalty. Stevo was brought off for a deserved breather, with The Gaffer keen both to protect his goalscoring asset and encourage the oncoming Twiggy to exhaust himself so much that he would stop shouting. Fanzines finally found the net in the second half with two poachers goals from Duncan, a fine reward for an effective if erratic performance. Adam rose smartly to head home Tiggy’s corner to make it 9-1, before Daz showed Dave how to convert a one-on-one with the keeper, slamming the tenth in off the far post with a left footed curler.
So the County Cup run continues, and the prospect of a trip to the cultured landscapes of Mansfield and Long Eaton grow ever more likely. The task for the team now is to maintain the consistency and string a run of results together, but as far as effort, workrate and discipline are concerned, this performance was close to faultless.
Team: Broughton, Lowe S, Doorly, Collinson, Ravenscroft, Whittaker, Richmond (Jones), Greenwood, Heithus, Connor (Remzi), Biernat
Sub Not Used: Timpson
Goals: Connor x3, Greenwood (pen), Heithus x2, Whittaker, Richmond x2, Collinson
''Fanzines Utd (2) 4 v [[Nottingham Law School]] (1) 3''
EMPAL Div One
29 Oct 2006
//Forgive me if some of what follows is factually incorrect but I am not overly familiar with either the team or the players representing it…//
The team in claret and amber had only eleven players and no substitutes, although it was later to be argued by their opponents in blue and white that they had a twelfth man in the shape of the referee whose beard was indeed one of wonder.
For the opening half an hour the away side appeared more at home, sending a couple of efforts just wide and generally looking the more settled of the two. The home side looked as though they had a few players playing out of position and it was no surprise when the back four stood gawping at each other like they’d only just met while the centre-forward picked his spot past the rather angry goalkeeper. Despite said player appearing at least six yards offside the linesman was accepting no blame, chastising those he seemed to know with a “Play to the whistle” admonishment. Wise words indeed. Has he ever thought of playing the game himself I wonder?
Or perhaps he had a plan, for the injustice at last led to some lovely football from the home side playing up the slope. Firstly the young pup of a right back took time out from crafting a stunning hair style to start and finish a flowing move while a second equally well worked goal, this time down the left, soon followed, the ball being swept home by an eye-catching boy racer of a centre-forward with go fast stripes on his boots. Credit, too, a fine run and cross by an excitable little fellow who answered to the name of Twiggy.
So, 2-1 at half-time to my adopted team and an entertaining first 45 into the bargain. Unfortunately, playing down the slope appeared to affect the mouths and limbs of the home side as the promising form of the first-half’s final fifteen minutes was seemingly left on the touchline. All went to pot with two preventable goals and three points looked like being tossed carelessly away. However, team spirit, determination and encouragement, all vital aspects to the game of football – and even more so when passes go astray and tackles are lost - appeared from nowhere and with it the laws of physics upheld. The flow down slope began anew. One penalty claim turned down, followed by another and despite protests from the visitors – more surely of frustration than injustice as contact was clearly made – the pointing to the spot by the man in black (the ‘twelfth man’). Then, confusion, as the player named as club penalty taker and with a proud 100% record nobly sacrificed his own ambitions for the good of the team, handing responsibility to the boy racer. With hindsight, a good decision. The keeper went the same way as the ball but the pace from the go fast boots was too much and the Mitre Matchplay nestled in the corner.
Less than ten minutes remaining and a game to be won, but by whom? Both sides seemed to believe they could but only one would. A cross from the limping Twiggy, a well-judged leave from the big bustling centre-forward following a shout from the boy racer and a finish, well, a finish of the highest order. The ball dropped and seemingly without thinking was dispatched back from whence it came, on the half volley high into the top corner, whistling as it went. A winner worthy of any game and with just added time to be played, it proved to be so of this one. A seven goal thriller and a strengthening of position in the top half of the table. What more could a spectator ask for? This one will indeed be back for more.
Team: Broughton, Timpson, Biernat, Lowe S, Collinson, Whittaker, Jones, Greenwood, Heithus, Connor, Remzi
Scorers: Connor x 3 (1 pen), Timpson
''[[Clifton Bridge Inn]] (0) 0 Fanzines United (2) 5''
EMPAL Cup 2nd Round
5 Nov 2006
Ah, the magic of the cup cliché. It’s a great leveller. Where lowly teams can dare to dream of glamour ties against the giants of EMPAL Division One. To compete at the highest level. To make a name for themselves against the West Ends, Law Schools and Fanzines of this world. Yep, for having spent years being the underdogs, the clarets are now mixing it (surprisingly well) with the big boys, and the possibility of an upset was on the cards against the Clifton Bridge side of Div Four. Fanzines’ recent cup history has been spectacularly poor, but maybe this year the side would be able to put together a decent run to emulate the legendary side of the mid-90s?
If the Gaffer mentioned the weather during his pre-match talk (and to be honest I can’t remember) he would’ve said that it was a perfect autumnal day for football, clear and bright and dry on a decent pitch down at Farnborough Road. At this level, it’s hard to identify whether the opponents are likely to be a challenge or not, but Clifton certainly lacked neither height nor a professional number of water bottles. A potentially dangerous combination…
But it was Fanzines, fresh from back to back league wins, who sped into an early lead when early pressure was converted into goals from two corners from Twiggy. Firstly, Adam rose unchallenged to power home a header, and then Whitts drilled in a second following some Daz-induced chaos in the six yard box. Clifton struggled to cope with the pace down the flanks and channels, with Steve consistently tormenting the back four but, though a few half-chances were created, the first half lead was not extended. The expected challenge from the home side never really materialised, with the Fanzines back line dealing well with everything thrown at them.
It wasn’t really until the second half that Fanzines began to control the game and make it comfortable for themselves. The passing and movement improved, and Clifton began to lose their individual battles and their heads, turning their attentions to the (mostly correct) decisions of the young but strictly efficient ref. The lead was extended with two deserved goals for Steve, though neither was particularly spectacular. One a chip into an empty net after Daz again had caused a bit of mess in the penalty area; the other a rather weakly hit shot which dribbled straight through the exasperated keeper. With the game won, the Gaffer exercised his options from the bench, protecting Whitt’s delicate ankles with the return of Lyndon, who was involved in the build up to the fifth goal as Dave’s pass found its way through to Daz, who finished tidily. With Clifton reduced to first 10 men through injury, and then 9 through indiscipline, Fanzines revelled in the space and time and really should’ve extended the lead further with a number of missed opportunities. If Aidy isn’t kicking himself for failing to score from two yards then I’m sure there are few volunteers to do it for him. Still, save it for when it really matters, eh.
The dream of the treble remains intact. Who know what trinkets await come the season’s end?
Team: Broughton, Timpson, Doorly, Collinson, Ravenscroft, Whittaker (Colward), Jones, Greenwood, Heithus (Richmond), Connor, Remzi (Brown)
Subs Not Used: None
Goals: Collinson, Whittaker, Connor x2, Heithus
''[[Notts Athletic]] (0) 0 v Fanzines Utd (1) 2''
EMPAL Div One
12 Nov 2006
I was going to start this report with a succession of plauditatory words, each carefully chosen to express my feelings of pride at having watched what I consider to be one of our most complete team performances of recent times. But then I received an email from Jonesy on Monday morning and he used a word I must admit I hadn’t thought of but wish I had as it probably sums up Sunday’s 90 minutes far more succinctly. Belief. ‘We just seem to have a belief that we are capable of beating these teams now ‘, said the wise old number 7. And you know what, I reckon he’s right. In fact, I know he’s right. Because as well as displaying no little skill, passion, strength and determination there was a palpable sense of belief, of a knowledge that we were going to win the game. Weird I know, but I never doubted us and it all boils down to the confidence we seem to take from each other. From the moment Stevo’s tenacity forced a mistake and his unselfish pass allowed Daz to calmly pick his spot to the time Kip reached to safely collect the first cross into the box with the calm air of a man on a night time scrump, from Adam climbing and dominating to win every header to Ravo quietly going about his business by picking off one well-timed tackle after another. And so it goes on. Joe Doorly, the laugh-a-minute left-back, up against a player of no little skill and pace but who never once got to keep the ball long enough to deliver a punchline. Lyndon and Dave, outnumbered but unbowed in the centre of midfield, slowly but surely forcing our opponents deeper and providing key interceptions. Jonesy and Dan, tucking in to help out the beleagured twosome early on but then taking stock and providing width and menace down the flanks. And just when it was most needed, minutes into the second half, a dream of a second goal. The masterful Jimbo, robbing the left winger and striding purposefully forward, exchanging passes with Dave before releasing Stevo down the right. A trick or treat piece of play to leave the devilish Tank on his back side and an inch perfect cross to the Dazzler, poacher supreme in the six yard box. “It’s better than watching Notts” declared Justin and he, of all long suffering souls, should know. And then, as aching limbs craved added impetus, the introduction of the fresh legs crew, Jonsy and Dunc, pace and enthusiasm in abundance. Thirteen contributors to one big believable whole.
Team: Broughton, Timpson, Doorly, Collinson, Ravenscroft, Cowlard, (Richmond), Jones, Greenwood, Connor, Heithus, Brown (Biernat)
Scorers: Heithus x 2
''Fanzines Utd (0) 4 [[Radcliffe Olympic]] (2) 4''
EMPAL Div One
19 Nov 2006
Another Sunday and another must-win game, though anyone who had any thoughts that a top-flight, top of the table clash (Fanzines' most high-profile game for years) would obviously stand out from the crowd were soon put in their place as the hordes conspicuously failed to appear, the bunting was absent, the comedy ref tottered to his centre spot pedestal, and Daz spent the warm-up chucking his guts onto the Elms Park turf. It was just another Sunday League game after all, but what a Sunday League game!
Radcliffe had used their victory over the clarets earlier in the season as a springboard to five successive league wins and a top spot on the table, whilst Fanzines recent form had seen them stumble and then reform themselves into a robust and confident side. This was reflected on the pitch in a very even and closely contested first 35 minutes where neither side gained an advantage or exposed many weaknesses in the opposition. It was something of a shock then that Fanzines found themselves two goals down at half-time. Radcliffe’s opener came from a fine finish from outside of the box from the skilful number 10, but only after Fanzines failed to clear the ball and their lines, whilst the second was a mis-hit finish following a mix-up at the back. Strong words were rightly spoken at the break, with the Gaffer doing his best to instil both passion and belief into the team, but the task was a daunting one.
Radcliffe are a good side, very much resembling Tottenham Hotspur under Ossie Ardiles, with their front five flying forward at all opportunites, running at defenders and creating opportunities for each other. Unfortunately for Radcliffe however, they very much resemble Tottenham Hotspur under Ossie Ardiles, and are definitely suspect at the back. This was evident in a dramatic second half, which saw them go three goals up with a well taken finish from a nice team move. Fanzines were on the verge of capitulating, with recriminations and accusations bouncing around the pitch and the touchline, and it’s certain that in such circumstances even a year ago the match would’ve ended as a rout. But the scoreline was clearly not a reflection of the difference between the teams, and slowly but surely things began to happen for the home side. The much needed breakthrough came when Dave slid a pass through to Daz who slipped it neatly past the keeper, and minutes later a second as the same player bundled a lob into the net after great work from the tireless Steve. Fanzines were back in the game! Or were they, as Radcliffe restored their lead from another smart finish from the number 10 after the ball broke kindly to him from a poor clearance from Stuart.
Fanzines were done for. Or maybe not. With 5 minutes to go, with Gaffer throwing all his subs into the action, another through-ball from Steve found Twiggy attacking the space on the right flank and he calmly guided the ball into the corner. One goal in it. Fanzines pouring forward, down the hill. The referee waves away a couple of penalty shouts from his centre-circle vantage point. Still, forward the clarets go. Duncan wins a corner which Twiggy flights in. Met by Adam. Over the bar! That’s it! No! Another corner is won. Twiggy launches it to the back post. Met by Adam again. In! 4-4!! In the last minute! A magnificent comeback. The crowd go mental. Daz does his best David Pleat celebration. Fanzines see out the last minute. And it’s over. A point rescued, another point towards avoiding relegation and, who knows, maybe even for challenging for the title. The impression is given that Radcliffe don’t seem too bothered with the result, and maybe they’re not. Maybe they all play at a higher level and this Sunday stuff is all for fun, but, for Fanzines, fun doesn’t get much better than beating the big boys and winning the league. Now, how funny would that be?
Team: Gadsby, Timpson, Doorly, Collinson, Ravenscroft, Cowlard (Richmond), Jones (Remzi), Greenwood, Heithus, Connor, Brown (Biernat)
Subs Not Used: None
Goals: Heithus x2, Remzi, Collinson
''[[Nottingham Law School]] (1) 5 v Fanzines United (1) 2''
County Cup
26 Nov 2006
Football. The perennial game of two halves. In this case, the first was a closely-fought and keenly contested one which deservedly finished with honours even. The second by contrast was a largely one-sided affair which was won by the side who upped a gear and made the least mistakes.
After being sent to Coventry due to my late arrival (sorry) there was much time to reflect on an opening 45 minutes which was good to watch, with both sides playing some neat football and posing a threat. Law School opened the scoring after 25 minutes when a cross shot from the inside left channel was drilled across the exposed Kip into the bottom corner and Fanzines responded 10 minutes before the break with Dan’s ever menacing swinger (right foot) tidying up after Twiggy’s excellent free-kick forced an equally splendid save. Given a starting role up front due to the abscessed and absent Dazzler, Twiggy was a constant threat in the first half, linking well with Stevo and nearly giving the away side the lead when just failing to turn the ball into an empty net from the most difficult of angles minutes before the break.
Unfortunately that was to prove the last real effort of menace until the game was all but over as a number of inexplicable errors gifted progress into the next round to the opposition. Their uncharacteristic nature made it an almost surreal spell of football to watch and those involved will I’m sure take solace and reflect that the ways in which the three goals scored between the 65th and 75th minutes occurred are unlikely to happen again in a hurry. And anyway, as one wise old sage was overheard to say, better to make all your mistakes in one game and put the result beyond doubt than chip away over three or four and risk continued mayhem. The belief, it is fair to say, had left the building.
So, the County Cup hoodoo continues and a Fanzines team is still to go beyond the last 16 of the competition. But with two crucial back-to-back league games against West Bridgford Albion to come, there’s surely never been a better time to re-group and dig out the old ‘concentrating on the league’ cliché. Back on it chaps.
Team: Broughton, Timpson, Doorly, Collinson, Ravenscroft (Whittaker), Cowlard, Jones (Biernat), Greenwood, Connor, Remzi, Brown (Richmond)
Scorers: Brown, Whittaker
''[[West Bridgford Albion]] (2) 6 v Fanzines Utd (1) 2''
EMPAL Div One
4 Dec 2006
A strong wind coupled with a strong willed opposition made for a torrid time at Gresham playing fields for the men in claret and amber. The Gaffer rang the changes after the previous Sunday’s second half capitulation to NLS but it made little difference as despite taking an early lead the away side were just not at the races and seemed easily intimidated by a vocal home side whose challenges were often robust but mostly fair. Playing with the wind saw two soft goals given up late on in the first half and by the time Daz’s quality finish from Stevo’s incisive touch delivered his second to top and tail the scoring the sorry script had already been well and truly written. The belief appears to have gone on holiday, let’s hope it returns in time to herald a change in fortune against the same opponents this Sunday at Elms Park.
Team: Broughton, Timpson, Doorly, Collinson, Whittaker, Cowlard (Ravenscroft), Remzi (Jones), Greenwood, Connor, Heithus, Biernat (Richmond)
Scorer: Heithus x 2
''Fanzines Utd (3) 5 v [[West Bridgford Albion]] (1) 3''
EMPAL Div One
11 Dec 2006
A week is a long time in football. Just seven days after suffering their biggest defeat for many a season the Fanzines bandwagon rode back into Elms Park with revenge high on the agenda. Certainly The Gaffer was in no mood for a repeat, delivering a team talk full of passion, aggression and a hint of menace, just the qualities he was looking for his charges to show once they took to the pitch of battle. The news that Adam had failed to recover from a thigh injury was tempered somewhat by Whitts declaring himself fit, although these things are all relative. Ravo retuned to the back four and Dan came in for Jonsy, otherwise the same players had chance to redeem themselves for the previous weeks horror show. And just like the previous week it didn’t take them long to open the scoring, Twiggy’s wonderfully flighted corner within the opening two minutes getting a touch off Daz and the defender at the near post on its way into the back of the net.
When Albion then equalised with a well-worked goal those on the touchline exchanged a nervous glance – had The Gaffer’s call to arms been in vain? The answer was an emphatic “No”. The hard working Dazzler charged down a goal kick and then slid an inch perfect pass across goal for the waiting Stevo to emphatically end his mini goal drought with a left foot finish into the bottom corner. Relief and elation in equal measure. And then, Twiggy with a peach of a goal, a wonderful first touch from Dave’s through ball and a stride on before picking his spot in the top corner from just inside the box. Stevo then twice within a whisker of adding to the lead and Dan too before the whistle brought a 3-1 lead and half a smile to The Gaffer’s face. Much work still to do, however, up the slope and against the wind. The job was seemingly made much easier when Stevo bagged his second in typical style and we all unfurrowed our brows and started to ‘look forward’ to playing Santa at a children’s Christmas party – or was that just me?! Unfortunately, the referee then decide to add a bit of festive cheer of his own and took pity on the poor unfortunates of WBA by gifting them two goals inside four minutes – the handball that was, quickly followed by one that certainly wasn’t (deliberate) both going in the away sides favour and all of a sudden, ladies and gentlemen, we have a game on our hands.
All were grateful, therefore, that it was at this precise time that the belief decided to return. Having taken the last two Sundays off to do its Christmas shopping, it came back just in time to help withstand a barrage from the visitors in which the back four were resolute and Kip was outstanding, one save in particular to his left from almost point bank range to deflect the ball over the bar had the WB striker collapsing to the floor in disbelief after he’d already turned away to celebrate. Simply stunning work from the glovesman. And all the time at the other end the constant threat of Daz and the rejuvenated Stevo…a lunging, desperate challenge, a hat-trick denied but the referee left with an easy decision. Penalty. Four minutes to go and real pressure on the kicker. And when the ball was blown off its spot forcing a halt mid run-up we all wondered whether Dave would hold his nerve. We needn’t have worried. As spot kicks go it was a beauty, keeper one way, ball high into the net the other. Plenty of added time but the visitors were now a spent force. Ole’s for G11 as he made a cameo return after a whole year on the sidelines before the final whistle brought roars of relief and celebration. The Gaffer a happy man once again, surely the seal of approval for any performance.
Team: Broughton, Timpson, Doorly, Ravenscroft, Whittaker, Cowlard (Gilbert), Remzi (Jones), Greenwood, Heithus, Connor (Biernat), Brown
Scorers: Connor x 2, Heithus, Remzi, Greenwood (pen)
''[[West End]] (1) 2 v Fanzines United (1) 2''
EMPAL Div One
17 December 2006
For those seeking to quantifiably measure the progress of this club, the final game of the calendar year provided the perfect opportunity to assess and reflect upon the strides that have been made in the past twelve months. Last Christmas, Fanzines were embroiled in an ultimately successful Division 2 battle for promotion, whilst today’s opponents, West End, were striding towards an unrivalled dominance in the top division. 2006, however, has been a year where the experience, talent and potential of the Clarets has flourished to the extent that, with one victory over last season’s champions already under the belt, here a second win was nearly snatched from the gawping jaws of defeat.
What made this performance so much more impressive was that it was accomplished on a soggy sump of a pitch, yet the attitude, commitment and discipline in the side came to the fore, to produce one of the finest team performances in recent memory. Ultimately, though they came from behind to snatch a point, most of the Fanzines side will still be wondering how victory eluded them.
The tone was set the moment that Dave slid into a muddy challenge on the edge of the Fanzines box, poking the ball forward to Dan who released Stevo down the left flank and his brilliantly flighted cross was nodded into the far corner by the supporting Twiggy for a well deserved lead. It was certainly the away side who were dealing with the conditions underfoot more successfully, and playing the better football, but the champions showed their mettle in a powerful spell at the end of the first half, first forcing a fantastic save from Kip and then scoring from a corner kick which eluded the heads of the defenders and was powered into the net for a sobering equaliser.
And though the industry and effort rarely dipped, it was West End who took the lead in the second half as Ravo’s clearing header fell straight to the oncoming striker who steered the ball calmly into the unguarded net. Somehow the game was slipping away. With the strength sapping conditions forcing the Gaffer to ring the changes, Fanzines maintained their ability to create and spurn chances in front of goal. Whitts in particular will feel he should have scored when clear through, but spent so long decided which corner to hit and which goal celebration to use that the ball never actually left his feet before the saving challenge arrived.
Then, in the final minutes, a succession of corners intensified the pressure, until finally a clearance fell to Steve, the man who has saved the day so often in the past few months, and his half-volley crowned a remarkable year as it flew through the crowded box to make it 2-2.
Yet it could have been even more. With the final move of the match, Jonesy’s cultured hoof downfield found G11, back from injury and back on the pitch, in space and unopposed, with keeper and defender retreating, and with time to pick his spot and win the game. It could, should, have been a glorious return. One dummy. Two dummies. The keeper was on his backside, without a clue. Three dummies. A collective breath was held. The unerring left foot drove through the ball which sped…straight into the back of the cowering defender, quaking on the line, and away, as the whistle blew and an astonishing game ended with both sides feeling both relieved and disappointed and with Fanzines hoping that the next twelve months would be as successful and enjoyable as 2006 has proved to have been .
Team: Broughton, Timpson, Doorly, Collinson (Gilbert), Ravenscroft, Whittaker, Remzi (Jones), Greenwood, Connor, Heithus, Brown (Biernat)
Subs Not Used: I can’t remember..
Scorers: Remzi, Connor
''Fanzines United (0) 1 v [[Brinsthorpe Rangers]] (2) 3''
EMPAL Division One
7th January 2007
There are things that I remember.
I remember burning my thumb on the car lighter when we were moving house from Oswaldtwistle to Blackburn when I was four years old. I remember dropping a bowling ball on my foot when I was seven and having to go to school with one slipper and one shoe. I remember seeing a kid at primary school running straight through a plate glass window, and another kid breaking his leg right in front of me when we were playing football with a tennis ball in the playground. I remember playing kiss-catch in that same playground and fixing it so that I was always caught and kissed by Andrea Cooper. I remember playing football for St Gabriel’s Primary School at a dilapidated Ewood Park and winning the Blackburn & Darwen District Littlewoods Cup Final, and then going to the Crown Paint factory in Blackburn to receive the trophy from Liverpool’s Alan Kennedy. I remember playing Subbuteo on the living room carpet on a Saturday evening whilst the results came in on Grandstand. I remember International Soccer on the C64, Sensible Soccer and Kick Off 2 on the Amiga, and Actua Soccer on the Playstation. I remember wanting to be Marco van Basten and thinking that I would never see anyone play the game of football as perfectly as Diego Maradona. I remember moving to Nottingham and having my northern accent ridiculed out of me. I remember Nigel Clough always seeming to score winners against Man Utd. I remember playing five-a-side with the Gaffer, Jim Cooke and the Selectadisc crew when I was studying for GCSEs, learning how the game should be played and being groomed for better things. I remember playing at Gresham on a spectacularly windy day against a motley bunch in retro Inter Milan shirts with a team name of Fanzines United, and never thinking that one day I would almost be accepted in their number.
Yes, there are definitely some things that I remember.
I don’t, however, remember very much about this game against Brinsthorpe. A few things have happened since and, to be honest, it even felt like a bit of a non-event at the time. I remember that I’d just had my eyes lasered and being concerned that the flaps over my irises would come loose whenever I (rarely) headed the ball. I remember feeling like we were always in control of the game and that we were always going to win, even when we went two-nil down during a spectacularly lacklustre start, but that it would only be a matter of time before we pulled ourselves together and galloped to victory. I remember a prolonged bout of possession in the second-half resulting in a tap-in for Stephen which felt like it would herald the great come back, but which never actually materialised. And I remember the Brinsthorpe forward being clipped by Ravo in the area to concede the penalty that consigned us to a disappointing defeat that was to be the start of an indifferent second half of the season.
I can’t remember everything. And I apologise to you for that. But I’m sure we can all learn to live with it.
Team:
Wood, Timpson, Doorly,Collinson, Ravenscroft, Whittaker, Remzi (Biernat), Greenwood, Connor, Heithus, Brown (Gilbert)
Goal: Connor
''Fanzines United 3 [[White Swan]] 2''
EMPAL Div One
14th January 2007
A sunny Sunday morning gave lie to a heavy, unforgiving playing surface as Fanzines attempted to secure First Division status for themselves while plunging their opponents even further into relegation trouble. An odd state of affairs given that the month of January is some way from completion but such is the way of things in the ultra-competitive top flight of EMPAL this season.
White Swan took to the field with comments aplenty regarding the size of the pitch - “it’s massive” - but with a team bearing scant resemblance to the one that had capitulated to Dan’s firepower earlier in the season. For the home side, Woody stepped in for the absent Kip while, with Ravo attending to domestic duties and Dave somewhere in Cornwall, Lyndon and Rich resumed their midfield partnership leaving Whitts only too happy to fill the vacant centre-back position.
After a tentative opening it was a piece of individual brilliance from Stevo which led to the game’s first goal, taking on Daz’s neat pass and flicking it past the last defender before placing to the keeper’s right with nonchalent ease. And that’s how it stayed until half time, though not without cause for concern as Woody was twice called upon to make outstanding saves.
All the talk at the break was of upping the work rate off the ball and closing down White Swan’s No.5 who was running the show for them in a ‘libero’ role. Having identified said ‘gentleman’ as the one who tried to decapitate G11 when we played them in the cup a few years back, their was some irony then when a clash of heads with Rich ten minutes after the restart led to nasty cuts for both. Rich’s on the top of his head meant he soldiered on after treatment but for the White Swan hard man the game was over. A deep wound above the eye refused to stop bleeding and when his legs gave way under him it was Sunday lunchtime in A&E rather than a pint down the pub.
If the home side thought things would get easier, however, they were wrong. The loss galvanised the away side and they soon levelled after indecision at the far post left one too many unmarked in front of goal. Game on. And how the claret and amber responded. The flowing football which had been a highlight of the previous game against Brinsthorpe was rediscovered and, with White swan’s keeper not being a patch on Rangers’ outstanding custodian, the goals followed. First Whitts stealing in at the near post to steer home a cross from Dan, then Twiggy causing mayhem down the right before Jovial Joe Doorly gleefully rammed home his first of the season. Chances for Daz, Dan, Twiggy and Stevo then followed before the visitors got an unexpected lifeline six minutes for the end with a thirty yard fluke. The game should have been well out of reach by then but instead the touchline faithful were left to endure a tense finale which almost boiled over after G11’s mistimed slide left their number 6 taking a distinct dislike to the taste of his own medicine.
So, a hard earned victory but, with West End defeating Notts Athletic, one which means we are already able to look forward to First Division football again next season. Now for the Cup!
Team: Wood, Timpson, Doorly, Whittaker, Collinson, Cowlard (Jones), Remzi, Shaw (Lowe S), Heithus, Connor, Brown (Gilbert).
Scorers: Connor, Whittaker, Doorly
''[[Trent All Stars]] 1 v Fanzines United 4''
EMPAL Cup
28th January 2007
[img[Gaffer leads the warm-up|http://photos-657.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v191/49/40/675480657/n675480657_620696_3650.jpg]]
A possible banana skin with a last 16 visit to the runaway leaders of Division Four was avoided thanks to a thoroughly professional performance.
Defensively resolute in the face of the expected early onslaught, the away side slowly but surely took control with some assured pass and move football and it was no surprise when Joe’s neat flick header at the near post from Stevo’s corner brought the game’s first goal. Kip then kept the scores level with a save that had the cameras clicking and the claret and amber went in at the whistle just about deserving their lead.
The Gaffer’s half-time team talk warned of more probing from lively opponents but even he couldn’t have foreseen the equaliser, arriving as it did direct from a corner in at the far post four minutes after the interval.
A right royal battle looked to be on the cards but quality in front of goal proved the difference as set pieces continued to be the order of the day. Stevo and Whitts both found themselves in the right place to benefit from Adam’s ability to head a football back across goal and a gaping net six yards away was not to be missed. 3-1, which just left the goal of the game to complete the scoring. Neat interplay down the right, Jimbo’s ball sent Stevo clear and no surprises when his composed lob over the keeper ended the contest fifteen minutes early.
So, a place in the quarter-finals for the first time in ten years but a nod of acknowledgement to Trent All Stars who looked a sure bet for promotion come the season’s end and are unquestionably a quality addition to EMPAL.
Team: Broughton, Timpson, Doorly, Collinson, Whittaker, Cowlard, Remzi (Jones), Shaw, Connor (Biernat), Heithus (Richmond),Gilbert.
Scorers: Connor x 2, Doorly, Whittaker
''[[Nottingham Law School]] 3 v Fanzines United 0''
EMPAL Div One
4th February 2007
A cold and (according to Joe and Stevo at least) frozen Sunday morning brought doubt as to whether the fixture would go ahead. So much doubt, in fact, that some had apparently already made their minds up leaving Andy with just twelve bodies from which to choose for his first game back in (temporary) charge. The Gaffer, he was sure, would be chuntering into his third bbqd shark fin somewhere on a beach in NZ, though for the sake of international relations let’s hope he’s left his Speedos at home!
Anyway, I digress. A pitch inspection brought the thumbs up from all parties, not that Eric the ref was ever going to say anything but “Play the game” - in a vocoder stylee - with his match fee on the line. Bad news for those who fancied heading back home to look out for TBW on coverage of NZ v Aus at The Gabba but good news for those who were looking forward to doing the double over Law School and maintaining our championship challenge.
Wary of how a second half onslaught had brought County Cup defeat on our last visit to Trent Poly and power crazy to the point of delirium, Andy decided upon a return to his much loved 4-5-1 formation as a way to ‘stay in the game’ before having in mind an equally devilish idea to revert to 4-4-2 with 15 minutes to go in an effort to win the thing. But you can think just a wee bit too much at Sunday morning football level…
Resolute defensive play from front to back, including a couple of top drawer saves from Kip and a header off the line from Twiggy, brought the first half of the masterplan to within five minutes of giving assistant managers a good name. Unfortunately, just as excitement was mounting on the touchline and Clive was wondering where his next opportunity for an outburst was going to come from, Law School decided to go for broke and Ginger Bloke – declared fit enough only for a place on the bench - was seen donning shin pads and boots.
With both sides aware that three points were essential in maintaining a meaningful chance of league silverware it meant there was every chance that the final twenty minuets would provide a goal and so it did - three of them. Unfortunately all in our net and all of them heavily involving aforementioned Mr Ginger Bloke who, in all three games against NLS this season, has been their stand-out performer.
There was much disappointment to come away from nothing after performing with much distinction and no lack of effort for the opening seventy minutes but the opinion of this scribe is that Law School may well win the league and if they do then we can look back on the fact that we have beaten them once and given them a real battle for most of another. Another positive is that three seasons ago a team of their all round quality - no superstars, just eleven plus players of a high standard – would have creamed us. Not now. And from that we should all take some comfort. None of us would deny there is still work to be done, but progress is undeniably being made.
Team: Broughton, Timpson, Doorly, Collinson, Whittaker, Cowlard (Richmond), Remzi, Shaw, Connor, Jones, Brown
''Fanzines United 0 [[Nottingham Law School]] 1''
EMPAL Cup
11th March 2007
NLS returned to Elms park for our fourth meeting of the season, the Empal Cup quarter final.
No game for weeks and with Joe,Lyndon and Duncan all dropping out on the morning of the game and with the absence of Twig early signs were not good. Gaffer had returned from his jollies to a headache, what team to play and what formation to use. The earlier was made easy by the fact we only had 12 players and G11 had announced that he wasn't fit enough to start.
Gaffer left it as late as possible before deciding to ditch his usual 4-4-2 and revert to a 5-3-2. Johnsey playing left back, Fred coming in for a rare start as a 3rd centre half and with a central midfield trio of Shawy,Brown and Jones.
Bite was needed early on, it was a big game but Fanzines seemed a little flat, the communication was good but where was the cutting edge ? Chances were few and far between and NLS' top man was being marshalled well by the defence, the midfield trio working hard but not creating enough for Daz and Steve. The sucker punch came mid way through the first half, a ball over the top a mistake from Fred and the jesus lookalike stole the ball, unleashed a shot that kip got his hand to but it had enough to roll over the line. Fanzines' best chance of the half came from the feet of Brown who drilled a 25 yarder only for the keeper to put it over the bar, corners came and went but not capitalised on.
NLS were there for the taking cut the long ball out and find feet was the key and fanzines responded. A good move down the left forced a corner, Browns cross was heading for the head of Whitts for an easy finish only for the keeper to pluck the ball out of nowhere, then Daz muscled two defenders off the ball only to shoot over the bar. Fred injured his back and had to go off G11 came on and Fanzines went back to 4-4-2 with G11 moving to right wing . Jonsy and Dan were proving a real handful working well together down the left, but the end product would not come, the ball was being pumped into the box, flicked on but it always seemed to land at the grateful NLS defenders feet. The lads were getting frustrated, Dan shot just wide and Steve ran through 3 defenders again shooting wide. NLS had a goal disallowed from their only real chance of the half. An onslaught on NLS' goal came at the end but the ball wouldnt go in and Fanzines went out.
Did us having no game for the last five weeks play a part? Not having a full squad at our disposal to blame? I dont think so, NLS are a good side and if anybody is to win it I for one hope its them!
Broughton, Biernat, Lowe S (Gilbert), Whittaker, Collinson, Timpson, Brown, Shaw, Jones, Heithus, Connor
''[[Burton Joyce A]] 3 v Fanzines United 0''
EMPAL Div One
18th March 2007
A sunny Sunday morning allowed the amber and clarets the luxury of playing a second consecutive fixture, this time returning to league action against division 1's top side, Burton Joyce.
The return of Cowlard and Doorley left 'The Gaffer' spoilt for choice with a squad of 15. His decision to keep the 5-3-2 formation, was met with a mixed response, but after the relative success against freescoring NLS he was keen to continue the stabilisation at the back against the league leaders.
The March sunshine was replaced before kick off by a strong cross wind, and increasingly darkening clouds. On the field, the impressive Biernat retained his left back spot, with Joes inclusion at the expense of Fred being the only change from the previous weeks cup exit.
A typically lacklustre start from Fanzines allowed BJ the early dominance; the front pair causing Fanzines defence early difficulties with enthusiastic running, and the midfield trio of Brown, Shaw and Jones were forced into defensive duties. A wonderfully worked, if over exubarent, opportunity from Burton's older front man was well saved by Kip before the breakthrough was made. Hesitancy at the back when a clearance was the obvious choice, punished so emphatically the previous week by the Law school, was again capatilised upon and Fanzines found themselves a goal behind inside a quarter of an hour. But if the first goal was down to individual error, the second was a demonstration as to why BJ have been top for most of the season; a moment of skill on the touchline, an inch perfect cross that was met by an equally inch perfect header. Delight from the (uniformed) tracksuited BJ staff, despair and disgust from the Fanzines lot.
Despite the continual dominance from the home side, Kip was only forced into a one more save before the break, tipping over from the older of the front pair, whilst at the other end, Steve and Daz were limited to shots from distance as they were required to drop deeper to support the midfield.
Gaffers justified half time tirade appeared to have exactly the right affect; the second half started with a new belief; heads were up and passes were positive, tackles were made (and won) and gaps started to appear. As the heavens finally opened with a wintery concoction of hail, sleet and snow, the away side seemed to adapt better, switching to a more familiar system as Adam joined the midfield. Using the wind, Fanzines started to create opportunities, and the introduction of first G11 (for Jonsy), then Duncan for Rich and finally Fred for Joe, gave more energy as the pitch became heavier.
As a lifeline was sought by Fanzines, gaps started to appear in their defence, and on three occasions the BJ front line were forced to shoot wide, as they hoped to wrap up the points. Steve and Daz continued to work hard; Connor's near post effort was smuggled behind, while the resulting corner eventually tested their defensive resolve.
As the clock ticked, and Fanzines pressed, chances slowly eked away. G11 had two wonderful headed opportunities; the first from Dans superb ball was nodded over whilst the other was just a fraction too high for the diminutive striker.
The final blow was delivered with minutes remaining; a respite in the weather allowed Burton Joyce to surge forward, and the opportunity fell to not one, not two but three front men, before the killer goal was stroked home.
A three nil defeat. Disappointment not so much with the result, but the manner in which we had started the game, affording them a two goal head start. In a stop/start 2007, we can make excuses a plenty. The Gaffer was vindicated for his half time harshness, and must be disappointed it took that display of emotion to get the team started. Positives?? Slow starts have previously been the achilles heel of the team, but this season has seen this less frequently. However, it is a shame we returned to old habits in this fixture.
The work rate continues to impress; from the back line all the way up to the front pair. And, as has been said before, we must remember how far we have come. A season where defeats have been more down to trepidation about the opposition than being outplayed. Let's hope we can finish the season in the manner we know we can perform, and await next season knowing that we should not fear any team in the league
Team: Broughton, Biernat (Gilbert), Collinson, Whittaker, Timpson, Doorly (Lowe S), Brown, Shaw (Richmond), Jones, Heithus, Connor
''Fanzines United 5 v [[Freeman & Mitchell]] 2''
EMPAL Div One
25th March 2007
Part I: Kip
Sunday saw Fanzines penultimate game in what can only be regarded as a successful season in [[EMPAL's|EMPAL]] top flight.
The opposition, Freeman and Mitchell, who had themselves put together a recent string of impressive results, where one of a clutch of teams hoping to conclude the campaign with a top half finish, so it was vital that the claret and ambers shrug off the previous weeks disappointment, and produce a performance that justified their lofty position.
Once again, Ravo, Cowlard and Smith were unavailable, whilst Joe and G11s mysterious absence left The Gaffer with another selection headache. His decision to revert to a more familiar 4-4-2 was met with a chorus of approval, as was his surprise choice to name Kip as captain.
Opting to attack up the notorious Elms Park hill, Fanzines started brightly; the youthful central partnership of Shaw and Whittaker dominant early on, whilst Biernat and Brown on the left and Timpson and Jones on the right worked well, creating some much needed width in the March sunshine.
With early chances at a premium, it took an individual piece of magic from the right foot of Heithus to break the deadlock; picking the ball up fully 30 yards from goal, he dug out a shot that flew into the top left hand corner. Fanzines first goal in three was well worth the wait.
With their noses in front, and any away-team threats being snubbed out by Collinson and Lowe, Fanzines were able to relax and play some of their most attacking football of the year. Crosses from both flanks caused unrest, and from Timpson's teasing outswinger, Shaw was able to rise, Salmon like, to challenge the Freeman ‘keeper; the spill enabling Heithus to stoop bravely to head into the unguarded net. 2-0, and Fanzines in control.
But, as all followers of Fanzines United F.C are only to aware, nothing is ever that easy. A proverbial’ hot knife through butter’ pass allowed an unchallenged Freeman forward the chance to swoop, reducing the deficit. The setback proved to be more than a minor one, as a probing pass minutes later allowed a shot to find its way, through a series of fortunate ricochets, to an unmarked Freeman-ite; perfectly dispatched for 2-2.
However, the response was anything but Fanzines-like. Playing up the slope, into the wind, the heads were up. Encouragement came from the sidelines.. A well worked move resulted in a loose ball that fell to Brown; his seemingly unstoppable drive was pushed onto the bar- credit not only to the F&M number 1, but to Adam, who pre-match, had ensured the goal posts were anchored securely at the ‘top-end’.
The positive reply to the surrendering of a two goal lead was boosted by the encouraging sight of a face from the past; the former manager, who had managed to temporarily swap domestic hell for footballing heaven…
Part II: Andy
I arrived with half an hour gone and the score at 2-2 so cannot comment on what had gone before (sorry Dazzler!). But from the moment I set foot on Elms Park there was only one winner as far as this pair of eyes (admittedly not the best, but good enough on this occasion) was concerned.
Fast, fluid football of the highest order was a joy to behold and meant all thoughts of a tearsome teething son were – for an hour or so at least - left behind in West Bridgford.
Seemingly defying the laws of gravity, the ball continually rolled uphill as the claret and amber took the game to the visitors and just reward was finally gained when a ball out to Dan on the left was followed by a beating of the full back before looking up and pulling back to Stevo, arriving twelve yards out to finish sublimely first time for his first goal in four games. It’s like he’d never been away.
Buoyed by a half-time team talk of “Carry on the good work and the game’s yours for the taking” by The Gaffer, the home side did just what TBW ordered and produced one of the best halves of football seen this season. It was one-sided in the extreme but as chance after chance went begging the nagging thought remained that if Freeman’s were to hit us on the break and equalise, things could go seriously pear-shaped.
Which is why having a goalkeeper of (S)Kip’s quality should never be underestimated. A spectator for much of the half, he made a stunning reaction save to turn the ball over at the near post 15 minutes from time to avoid just such a scenario. It was just the fillip/kick in the backside the team needed, ably aided by a double substitution. First Twiggy, on for Dan, ran on to a searching through ball from Whitts to finish sublimely on the half volley over the advancing keeper. Then Dunc, replacement for Jonesy, rounded off a move full of one-touch, give-and-go football to slide in from six yards.
The game was safe and not before time, leaving the final few minutes to be played out with the dream of a highest ever EMPAL finish still very much intact.
Team: Broughton, Timpson, Biernat, Lowe S, Collinson, Whittaker, Jones (Richmond), Shaw, Connor, Heithus, Brown (Remzi).
Scorers: Heithus x 2, Connor, Remzi, Richmond.
''Fanzines United 0 v [[Notts Athletic]] 2''
EMPAL Div One
15th April 2007
If you are looking for a side to provide a limp, stuttering, apologetic conclusion to a season of sporadic illumination, then you’ve come to the right place. Over recent years, Fanzines have become renowned for losing the last fixture on the list, with final game defeats resulting in the missing out on promotion two years ago and the failure to clinch the Division Two title last year. This year there was less at stake, with a comfortable top-half finish already secured, but this game clearly illustrated that the difference between all the sides in the league is marginal and that the Clarets’ strength is in their discipline, organisation and commitment. When that is below par, as today, then we are a fraction of the force we could be.
Against a team that were believed to be already relegated and against whom Fanzines had produced one of their most solid performances earlier in the season to grind out a crucial two-nil victory, the home side were too relaxed and too complacent at the start, and never really recovered. Jimbo’s dirty-stop-out habits resurfaced and his tardiness forced the Gaffer to risk Dave’s creaking knees and feet at right-back, a move that proved disastrous as the baptism of a first game in four months proved too much for the returned wanderer. Swamped down the left-flank, it was his missed clearance that allowed Notts to take the lead, a hooked shot fizzing past the furious, helpless Kip.
Frustratingly, Fanzines failed to clear their heads or their lines, and spent the majority of the first period trapped in their own half attempting to repel the waves of attacks that were careering down the Elms Park slope. Time and again possession was given away and the rare chances to produce attacking crosses or telling final balls were squandered. Changes were made in the second half in an attempt to shake the lethargy from the side, but to no avail. A second Notts Athletic goal sealed the defeat, which ultimately meant that Fanzines finished their first season back in EMPAL Division One in a formidable fourth place rather than a dizzying third.
Amidst the disappointments of certain games and performances, it should be noted that this is by far the highest final league position in the club’s history and a testament to all those who have contributed so much throughout the season. Whilst individual players have shone at different times, all in the squad have contributed to what has been a very successful, if challenging, league campaign. Particular thanks to The Gaffer and Andy for running the show, G11 for the paperwork and Sharon for making the kit smell nice, and also to those players who have chosen to end their association with the club. You will all be missed, and will always be welcome at training. Who knows, you may fancy a run out in the Claret & Amber again one day?
Team:
Broughton, Greenwood (Timpson), Doorly, S Lowe, Collinson, Whittaker, Jones, Shaw, Heithus, Connor, Brown
''Fanzines United (1) 2 v [[Total Reclaims Demolition]] (0) 0''
EMPAL Division One
2nd September 2007
//This week's match report is brought to you in the style of those classic old Hitchcock movies or episodes of Columbo where two people give differing accounts of the same event and we, the audience, are left wondering what is the truth and, indeed, what is the nature of 'truth' itself. As these accounts are written by Andy and Dave though, you can be assured that none of the following has any bearing on the reality of the events...//
Part I: Dave
As if by magic, it all falls into place. A summer of worry and trepidation, of lost players and upcoming battles, melted away on a glorious opening day of the season as Fanzines demonstrated that teamwork and organisation, allied to a smattering of talent, may go a long way to ensuring another successful season in the big league. And it is to be a season spent on the big front pitch at Elm's Park, which looked resplendent in the bright September sunlight, as green and as accomodating a surface as any team will enjoy this year, and which left Rich and Jim speculating about whether even the professionals would struggle to cover each blade during an average game, such is the gaping enormity of it. Still, it encourages flowing football and it certainly encourages the opponents, who turned out to have completely transformed themselves since the previous meeting. Gone is much of the agression and antogonism from last year's Division Two champs, and in its place is talent and tenacity, the cream of the old Rushcliffe SHR team and the strength of some talented Saturday players. TRD will be a force to be reckonned with this year.
Whether or not The Gaffer had been doing his homework, the bare bones of his available squad somewhat forced his hand in terms of selection, but there were still a few surprises with his decision to try a few players in unfamiliar roles. But if you can't trust the Gaffer, who can you trust? And, though Reclaims started strongly and dominated much of the possession, they never really threatened Kip's goal or created any meaningful chances. Adam and Whitts looked strong in defence, Jimbo setttled immediately into a midfield role alongside Dave (like Lampard & Gerrard, but in a good way, is how the Golden Boy likened it) whilst Daz and Mark proved a handful for the opposition back line, chasing and harrying and forcing mistakes.
It was the same front two who combined to score the opener, somewhat out of the blue, as Daz fed the ball forward to Mark who controlled and shot in one movement to wrongfoot the keeper and slide the ball into the net. And though TRD came back strongly, the few chances that were created in the half fell to the Clarets, with Adam in particular forcing a good stop from the keeper having found himself one on one from a scrambled free-kick. The talk therefore at half-time was one of caution and frustration, of trying to get hold of the ball and use the space, rather than soaking up all the pressure and attacking on the break which has now almost become the Fanzines trademark.
For more pressure was to follow in the second half. Not once though did TRD manage to get behind the back line or overrun the midfield to create potential havoc, and when an innocuous looking challenge for the ball between Rich Shaw and the talented TRD striker left both on the floor for a number of concerned minutes, the general feeling amongst the home side was of a game which was under control, but which desperately needed a second goal to put the result beyond doubt.
Part II: Andy
I arrived to find Kip facing penalty practice and a general sense of not much happening – half time? No, ten minutes into the second half and a clash of heads between Rich and a TRD player had led to a stoppage as the hard head of Fanzines' new right back led to the call for an ambulance as his opponent drifted in and out of consciousness. After being treated in the ambulance he was taken to hospital and it goes without saying that all at the club wish him well for a full recovery.
The restart brought a battle for midfield supremacy with neither side able to create any clear cut chances, TRD claiming more possession but Fanzines looking ever dangerous going forward with the hard working duo of Heithus and Buxton providing a perfect foil for the ever willing and onrushing midfield four.
Nevertheless, it was apparent that it would take something special to open up either defence and so it proved, a goal of such beauty that just the very thought of it brings a tear to my eye. Adam, breaking up play and striding forward, a lay off to Jimbo and then out wide to Jonesy, keeping the shape. A touch, a turn and a sprinting into space ahead down the right by Dave. A pass into feet, a shimmy and the full back is nowhere to be seen. The decision, to shoot at an ever tightening angle or pass to a team mate? Head up and the option to cross is the right one. Deft and decisive, evading the onrushing Twiggy but falling perfectly to Daz, predator at the back post, to return across the keeper and into the bottom corner. Delight and relief. A truly great team goal, a fine example of what can be achieved by applying the basics of the beautiful game – head up, ball to feet and running into space.
TRD down but far from out. Pressure galore but a resolute back four and, first an exemplary last ditch tackle from Rich Shaw, then an acrobatic tip over from Kip, keep the clean sheet intact. The final whistle and three points gained from impressive opponents who will surely win more games than they lose this season. The challenge for Fanzines, to do the same. But as The Gaffer stressed in his post match warm down chat, he couldn’t have asked for any more from his charges for a start. Long may such performances of dedication and determination continue.
Team: Broughton, Shaw, Brown, Whittaker, Collinson, Greenwood, Jones, Timpson, Heithus, Buxton, Remzi (Carmody)
Scorers: Buxton, Heithus
''[[Radcliffe Olympic A]] (0) 1 v Fanzines United (1) 2''
EMPAL Division One
9th September 2007
What do you want to know? Do you want to know how Fanzines approached this game against Radcliffe with a mixture of confidence and trepidation? Confidence after an impressive opening day victory, and trepidation as Olympic had proved themselves to be dangerous opponents last season, particularly adept at exposing lapses in concentration and weaknesses in any team’s make-up. Do you want to hear how Fanzines were missing key players in key positions and were testing the boundaries of their new squad? How Mark’s versatility was obvious as he slotted into a centre-back role alongside Adam? How Robertino’s debut saw him battle against the early pace and narrowly avoid the ref’s cards before starting to show glimpses of the skills he could offer? How Gaz and Haseley illustrated the threat they can pose, and how Hallam’s Fanzines return was crowned with a goal-line clearance in the final minute to preserve a result that had been fought for so fiercely in the exacting heat of the September sunshine? Ok, I’ll tell you about all that then.
Unquestionably, Radcliffe Olympic have some skilful players when they have the ball, but the best players also show their quality without the ball, working for the team, closing the spaces and making runs to drag the opposition out of position, and Fanzines’ start clearly demonstrated that they possessed more of the latter type of player, starting the game with determination and pace, and showing that they could pass their way through the rather static back-line seemingly at will. Yet, as clear goal-scoring chances were spurned by first Twiggy and then Daz, both with rather tame finishes, the end-product was proving to be elusive until a scramble in the box resulted in Daz’s cross/shot being turned in by G11, making his first start in a league game for well over a year. And though Olympic drove forward dangerously, they were unable to penetrate the claret’s defence, as captain Shaw marshalled the line with typical commitment, whilst Woody barked his instructions from behind.
What was required though was another goal to provide a comfy cushion, and it duly arrived in the first minute of the second half. Jonesy’s long range shot was finely saved by the keeper, but the resulting cross from Twiggy was plonked into the net by Adam. Soon after, Jimbo was forced to disrupt the midfield solidity by limping off with a battered kneecap but, on his debut, substitute Gaz Brown’s pace and touch added a fresh dimension to the Fanzines attack. Radcliffe gradually began to force the visitors further and further back, dominating the possession and carving a few half-chances before pulling one back when a borderline offside decision went in their favour and the blue’s striker hammered the ball home as the Fanzines defenders stood waiting for a whistle that never came.
A game that some thought had already been won was still in the balance, first as Gaz broke through and forced a good save from the keeper, and then when the Olympic skipper volleyed over from six yards. But, as Hallam and Woody combined to block what seemed like an inevitable equaliser and the ref brought a pulsating match to a close, the three points were nestling in Gaffer’s smelly ball sack, along with a 100% record and the prospect of a visit of the champions at Elms Park next week.
Team: Wood, Shaw, Todino (Hallam), Buxton, Collinson, Greenwood, Jones, Timpson (Brown G), Heithus (Gordon), Remzi, Gilbert
Goals: Gilbert, Collinson
''Fanzines United (1) 1 v [[Burton Joyce A]] (0) 0''
EMPAL Division One
16 September 2007
Well, the day didn't start off so well as I nearly ran out of petrol, forgot my boots and was beaten to Elms Park by Twiggy & Hallam (looking very dodgy in the car together - I half expected Stan Collymore to pop out from the hedge) before 9:30am. Just to compound matters, as soon as I parked up a huge cloud appeared which scuppered my weather predictions - much to Twiggys delight - and we were set to play last seasons runaway champions without at least 3 key players, a last minute referee (thank you Courtney for offering) and the prospect of a very hungover Jimbo (or even more worrying, an incarcerated Jimbo). Finally, being as supersticious as I am, playing on the front pitch in the corresponding fixture as the previous season meant only one thing - a whopping defeat and a serious injury for someone.
However, little did I realise that, although the sun wasn't shining down on us, good fortune shone through. Burton Joyce arrived early and looked pretty much like the same squad of players as last season although there was one major difference - my hero Dean Yates had resigned (just for you Andy!).
After all the worrying, the replacement ref appeared and then Jimbo arrived before 10 o clock and, despite being quiet and locking himself in the toilet as soon as he arrived, he took the field on time.
Kip replaced Woody in goal and Gareth got a full debut up front whilst our other new signing Antony got a place on the bench.To be honest the game as always is a bit of a blur but I do remember the following:
Haseley disappearing just as the ref wanted a linesman,thanks to Paul Hallam for stepping in.
A very disciplined and bright start and Twiggy actually running and not complaining or grabbing his hamstring (until midway through the 2nd Half anyway).
A Burton Joyce player getting injured and some very disconcerting screams from said player but hopefully it wasn't too serious (G11 was extremely close to play at the time I'm told).
There is no doubt that, despite being tough to play against and various players still bedding into the Fanzines formation, Burton Joyce will let you play football and that is exactly what we did for the rest of the 1st Half. In fact we had just had our best spell of possession when the injury happened. Shortly after this the ball got played through to Gareth - from Dave allegedly - and he shimmied past the keeper and kept running and running and just when it looked like he'd gone too far and there were at least four Burton Joyce defenders back on the line he nonchalantly slipped the ball in the net.1-0 to Fanzines United. Dreamland!!.
Yet more dogged Fanzines defending, especially at corners and a bit of luck saw us make half-time in the lead.
We had time to re-group and prepare for the bombardment that Burton Joyce were bound to throw at us in the next 45 minutes. In fact thats just what happened and, despite my pleas to try and keep the ball more, we decided it would be fun to give Kip and Adam some catching and heading practice - thankfully they were up for the challenge, although it took its toll on Adam who hurt his foot and couldn't even make the pub or go shopping afterwards.
Paul Hallam replaced the ever tiring Robertino, who lasted longer than the previous week at Radcliffe but was very effective at left back again, and Paul got stuck in straight away. Somehow we acquired an extra right back, as Ady obviously didn't trust his skipper, but despite all this we still managed a couple of half chances and it wasn't all one way traffic. Attempts included a scuffed shot from Dave that nearly snuck in at the far post and Adam hitting the bar at both ends (always looking to score - its in his blood!). Even Twiggy had at least one shot on goal (well about 10 yards wide actually) before I rescued him from further embarrassment and substitued him. In fact anyone who saw his fanclub turn up will have witnessed that his Mum has got a better first touch than him and she had sandals on. New boy Antony had license to run around and make a nuisance of himself which he promptly did very well and, much to his disgust, I managed to get Hasely on for the last 5 minutes to try and win a few headers.
Then, after the umpteenth missed chance, we showed a grit and determination to hang on till the final whistle, knackered and relieved (and that was just me, Andy and Courtney watching). Another dogged performance which showed true character and effort against a very good side. Lets hope we put this much effort in against weaker teams. Nine points from nine and top of the league - that's one better than last year's start to the season, and the serious injury wasn't ours this time round.
By the way, if you fancy a laugh check out Notts Athletic's guestbook.
Team: Broughton, Shaw, Todino (Hallam), Buxton, Collinson, Greenwood, Jones, Timpson, Brown G (Gordon), Remzi (Morris), Gilbert
Goal: Brown G
''Fanzines United (2) 4 v [[Local Inn]] (2) 5''
23 September 2007
Sunday Junior County Cup 1st Round
"A View From The Back"
Fanzines fell at the first hurdle of the 07/08 County Cup, undone by a mix of energetic youthfulness, wily experience and sheer determination in the shape of last season's Minor Cup runners-up, Local Inn (Mansfield).
Faced with yet another selection headache (unfortunately due to injuries as opposed to form) The Gaffer was not afforded the opportunity to experiment. The absence of Collinson (foot), Timpson (thigh), Buxton (extra curricular) and Remzi (back) was countered with the return of Whittaker and Brown (both after two games out) and Papa Heithus who, contrary to rumour, had completed all of last weeks half-marathon on foot.
Team news: after several good performances, Paul Hallam slotted in at left back, Whittaker returned to captain the side partnering Tino in the centre of defence, Jones moved to the centre of midfield and new signing Anthony started on the right, whilst Daz returned up front, starting with Gareth Brown. And on the sidelines - Fanzines' solitary WAG, the return of Justin, the injured trio of Steve, Timmo and Adam, as well as ex-legend Doorly to form the season's biggest attendance to date.
Untypically all squad members arrived well before kick off which, coupled with The Gaffers unsunny disposition, meant a lengthy pre-match warm-up was required. However this preparation did nothing to help the sluggish start from the EMPAL side, and it was slightly against the run of play when Heithus placed the ball deliberately when awarded a free kick outside the away team's area, spotted a gap and exploited it fully - stroking home from 25 yards to prove he is indeed the newest 'daddy' of the team.
It wasn't long however before the usually reliable last line of the team was breached. Not wishing to dwell on the negatives, opportunities to clear were not taken and Local Inn were able to capitalise from 6 yards.
The lead was restored shortly after when Brown (G) carved an opportunity from nothing, unleashing an unstoppable drive from distance which buried itself near the stantion, Brooking-style. Yet, as so often happens in these topsy-turvey type of fixtures, an equaliser was gifted when a bouncing ball unsettled the defence and was poked home unchallenged past the onrushing 'keeper. 2-2 at half time and Fanzines were perhaps fortunate to still be in the tie.
If the half-time rollicking was delivered to inspire, the home side committed Hari Kari straight from the kick off; a long throw, a miss timed clearance and the away side led for the first time, volleying home in a crowded six yard box.
Despite the deficit, Fanzines began to play some of the football worthy of their 100% start to the season. Dave and Adie started to take control of the centre, and when Daz's fine cross was met by G11, the rotund Local 'keeper proved his doubters wrong, somehow pushing the ball out from point blank range.
Over enthusiastic tackling by some of the away side saw, on a number of occasions, Antony upended, resulting in one final slide (inexplicably unpunished by the lenient referee) which left the newbie clutching both his ankle and his head as he was forced to leave the field for good. It was whilst down to ten men that Fanzines were again punished, with perhaps the only goal conceded that did not directly stem from a huge defensive error, as a deep corner was met at the far post, headed back into a melee of players, and prodded into the roof of the net for a 4-2 lead.
If any positives can be drawn from this game, it's that Fanzines refused to give up and began to produce some fluid and potent attacks. When a slick passing move resulted in an excellent effort from Heithus crashing against the post, Gaz was pulled back whilst attempting to latch on to the rebound and Greenwood seized the opportunity to calmly dispatch the resulting penalty to again reduce the lead to solitary goal.
The introduction of Hasely for Antony and Dan for Paul injected a little more energy, but though the away side continued to sink deeper and deeper they stood firm under the pressure. Then, not content with chasing one goal, Fanzines contrived to double the disadvantage; hesitation once again allowing the away team's 'rainbow haired' striker to slide home from two yards after yet another defensive howler.
As the clock ticked, Fanzines pressed forward seeking a lifeline and when a 50 yard angled free kick from Whitts was expertly controlled by Gareth, he dispatched it brilliantly to make it 4-5. And though the clarets continued to press, the opportunity to take the game to extra time (where surely they would have gone on to seal the win) was denied.
In a game littered with errors it seems a shame to reflect on the 'ifs and buts'...if Whittaker's late header hadn't crashed against the upright; if Dan's powerful free kick was a foot lower; if G11 hadn't hit his effort a little too well; if the referee's interpretation of the laws of the game weren't taken from the 1970's; ...whilst, at the other end, if only the footballing clichés of 'if in doubt...', 'no bounce' and '...the way your facing' were adhered to!
A defeat. Five goals conceded, all of which could, and should, have been avoided. A team, with the exception of Daz and Gareth, that would have done well to have gained 3 points each in the 'Suns Dream Team' ratings.
The feeling in the Fanzines changing room was a mix of disappointment and disbelief. A side boasting the best defensive record in the top division conceded five soft goals. A team currently top after a winning start to the season had been taught a lesson by lower opposition. And a team built around commitment, energy and endeavour had been out-committed, out-energised and out-endeavoured.
To The Gaffer:
I think I'm speaking on behalf of the team when I apologise to you for the way we competed today. Your commitment, passion and enthusiasm should have been reflected on the pitch, and today it wasn't. Every season we seem to have an uncharacteristic performance (2-6 vs. West End 06/07, 0-3 vs. Inter 05/06, 2-6 vs. Ardley 04/05) that can't be explained. I hope that this result proves to be our 07/08 result. We let you, the club and ourselves down. I think we have all learnt a little from today's performance. It is up to us all to take responsibility, draw a line under this game and return to the way we know we can play. So, another seasons county cup run has been brought to a premature end. Congratulations to Local Inn, who, if they can defend as well as they can capitalise on weaknesses, I'm sure will have a good run in the competition.
Team: Broughton, Shaw, Hallam (Brown D), Whittaker, Todino, Greenwood, Morris (Gordon), Jones, Heithus, Brown G, Gilbert
Scorers: Heithus, Brown G x2, Greenwood (pen)
[[West End]](1) 2 v Fanzines United (2) 2
EMPAL Division One
30 September 2007
[img[http://photos-657.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v134/49/40/675480657/n675480657_334118_3300.jpg]]
A genuine top of the table clash. Two teams with undefeated records to defend. One team with a cabinet straining with silverware, but reeling from a relatively unsuccessful previous season. The other, a bunch of upstarts, finally beginning to prove that they're not punching above their weight. The stuff of which Sunday League dreams are made
And so a sunny autumnal morning saw Fanzines tumbling into the well-hidden Nuthall ground, with its row of park benches and 1920's pavilion, eager to move on from the error-strewn cup disappointment of the week before. With the continued absence of "Adam and His Amazing Stabilising Effect", the onus was on the whole team to resist the urge to throw the game away at every possible opportunity this time, and return to the solidity shown in the league so far this year.
Leading by example as always, skipper Whitts was late and vice-skipper Shawy was on dog turd duty, leaving the rest of the squad to absorb both Gaffer's wisdom and the unspeakable pungent foulness emanating from the looming toilet. Into the fresh air, a brief warm-up and the game was on.
Now, Fanzines may not be the greatest team in the world (debatable, I know) but they at least try to play football sometimes, as they showed with a brisk, fluid start to the game. Passing to feet and contesting every ball, with pressure mounting on the home side, and after Whitts had a header from a corner cleared off the line, the clarets took the lead when Twiggy's long throw fell to the feet of Daz and the burly striker swivelled and drilled the ball into the net at the near post. It was somewhat against the run of play then to immediately concede a soft equaliser when a long diagonal ball caused confusion at the back, allowing the West End striker to outpace Rich Shaw and squeeze a hooked finish beyond the fingers of the astonished Kip. Thankfully, fortune favoured the Fanzines as the away side quickly restored their lead when G11 wisely responded to Daz's screams to move out of the way, allowing the number 9 to unleash an unstoppable toe poke from outside the box which flew into the top of the net.
West End reshuffled their options and increasingly began to impose themselves on the game either side of half-time, with their Number 5 in particular showing some deft touches. But the goal with which he restored parity was once again due to a defensive/goalkeeper mix-up, as another long clearance fell between the two, tempting Kip to come out to ball that he couldn't quite reach and allowing the striker to neatly chip into the unguarded net from a challenging angle.
And, as Fanzines were forced to sink further and further back, they lost control and shape, failing to hold onto the ball in attack and ceasing to play the slick passes to feet that had been so effective at the start of the game. Yet, for all their possession (and Gaffer's resulting palpitations), West End created very few chances to take the lead. Rather it was Fanzines on the break who improbably seemed likeliest to score, with Jimbo forcing a smart save after a long-range first-time side-footer, and Gaz volleying over from outside the box. In the end, the tidy young ref brought the game to an end with both sides probably feeling disappointed that only a point had been earned, yet satisfied that momentum had not been lost and optimistic that a trophy-winning season was still a possibility. Onwards!
Team: Broughton, Shaw, Brown D, Whittaker, Buxton, Greenwood, Remzi (Gordon), Timpson, Heithus, Brown G, Gilbert
Sub Not Used: Hallam
Goals: Heithus x2
''Fanzines United (0) 0 v [[West End]] (0) 1''
EMPAL Division One
21 October 2007
Autumn! Brilliant! Reds and golds and browns. Bright clear mornings. The cold snap. The chilly nip in the air. The frosty breath and shimmering dew on the sumptuous green carpet of the Elms Park pitch. A resheduled return fixture against West End, after two weeks of inaction, and another top of the table clash. Sometimes it is great to be alive. All else pales to this.
Pre-game keeper concerns were eased as Woody's wagon drew into sight, whilst the niggles and knocks of the rest of the squad were largely overcome to give The Gaffer a rare selection dilemma. Jonesy's great vision but dodgy eyes kept him out of contention, whilst Adam slotted back into the defence and jumpin' Joe Doorly donned the super-sub shirt for the first time this season, despite having been hobbled by the ferocious feet of G11 during training. A pristine reverential hush seemed to surround the ground, and the opening minutes did little to disturb this atmosphere, with the calmness and stillness displayed by both sides doing little to stir the passions or the senses.
Eventually Fanzines threatened to spring into life, but invariably moves were broken down and passes were misplaced or mistimed. For their part, West End battled away but their endeavours were invariably repelled by the disciplined organisation of the home side. The mistakes that both sides would rely on to create goal scoring opportunities were simply not being provided. Woody made a couple of smart saves from opportunistic efforts, whilst Dave blazed the best chance of the game narrowly over the bar after good work from Twiggy down the right, and Daz saw his long range effort tipped onto the woodwork by the diminutive (and otherwise untested) keeper.
Gaffer tried to blast some fire into the side at half-time, calling for an increase in workrate and quality, and though there were large patches of domination and pressure, there were few clear cut chances as a result. And though it was still an evenly balanced contest, it was the vistors who found themselves more obviously frustrated, forcing further saves from the impressive Woody, and then seeing successive goalbound efforts repelled, first by Adam's nads and then by Dave's face. With the clock nudging towards five minutes remaining and both sides seeming to happily settle for a draw, the ball fell to the feet of the tricky West End striker on the edge of the box, and with a line of claret shirts in front of him he curled the ball with his left foot against the far post and into the goal for an astonishing winner.
A cruel, cruel blow, so late in the game and after so much positive endeavour. Fanzines attempted to reply, but to no avail. Defeat. The first league defeat of the season, and in this league where no result can be predicted and no clear favourite is emerging, all dropped points are painfully felt. Wheels off? Bubble burst? Or just a moment of ill fortune? The attitude and application shown in the upcoming games may well provide the answer.
Team: Wood, Shaw, Brown D, Whittaker, Collinson, Greenwood, Remzi, Timpson, Heithus, Brown G (Gordon), Gilbert
Subs Not Used: Jones, Todino, Doorly
''Fanzines United (2) 4 v [[Notts Athletic]] (2) 2''
EMPAL Cup, 2nd Round
4 November 2007
What could be more appropriate during firework season than a potentially explosive cup tie against Notts Athletic, a home tie shifted from the fire damaged Elms Park to the Alford Road pitch that ostensibly serves as the opponent's very own? A stern test indeed and strong wills required, and thankfully a strong squad made itself available, allowing the Gaffer to unleash his fearsome tactical masterstroke of making no changes whatsoever from the narrow defeat in the previous game two weeks ago. That the Bearded Wonder did not actually need to use the strong bench at his disposal until the game was effectively won is testament to the undoubted quality of the Fanzines squad these days, though that quality wasn't particularly in evidence during the opening fifteen minutes of the game which saw Notts pressing strongly from the start and bagging an opener when poor tackling and slack marking allowed the left winger to prod home at the back post.
Employing a 4-5-1 formation, Notts' three man centre midfield was proving to be a considerable challenge to Fanzines' dynamic duo of Jimbo and Dave, who found themselves outnumbered and occasionally bypassed, but slowly an element of control was restored and the pressure on the visitor's defence increased. The equaliser came as Dave's cross from the right was deflected down to Gaz who giuded a bobbler into the corner and, soon after, the same player's long range shot was spilled by the keeper, pounced upon by Twiggy and, in the resulting mayhem, fell to Dave who drilled it into the net for a 2-1 lead. A third should have been added soon after as two or three chances from a goalmouth scramble from a corner were somehow cleared from danger, something that proved all the more costly when Tank's movement from a Nott's corner allowed him to slip away from Whitts to powerfully head an equaliser.
As the second half progressed in the same pattern of hard work and half chances, both teams probably felt that they were in control and destined to win the game. Kip made a couple of smart saves and Notts hit the bar from long range, whilst Gaz had two good chances but lacked power in his shooting boots at the vital moment. The Fanzine defence was standing firm under considerable pressure, with Shawy in particular winning the game almost single handedly by resisting the surges of the Notts left winger (but still failing to do any overlapping!). And just as the game entered the final ten minutes and all concerned, particularly the comdey ref, began to fret about the upcoming period of extra time, the clarets took a decisive lead. A series of short, sharp passes from Dave to Gaz to Jimbo on the left, and his nonchalant chip into the centre was perfectly weighted to allow Daz to stoop and caress a header over the line. And when Tino, seconds after being introduced by the wily boss, managed a near-post flick-on which by-passed the entire defence and allowed Daz to nuzzle a second header into the net for a 4-2 lead, the icing was well and truly on the cake, and the Fanzines number slipped into the velvet bag, ready for further cup exploits.
Team: Broughton, Shaw, Brown D (Todino), Whittaker, Collinson, Greenwood, Remzi (Jones), Timpson, Heithus (Buxton), Brown G, Gilbert
Sub Not Used: Doorly
Goals: Brown G, Greenwood, Heithus x2
''[[Nottingham Law School]] (1) 1 v Fanzines Utd (1) 3''
EMPAL Division One
11 November 2007
Back to back fixtures for the first time since late September saw Fanzines pitted against their bogey team, Nottingham Law School. Hoping to build on the previous week's cup victory, the Gaffer once again was given a selection headache with the absence of midfield trio G11, Jones and the side's self-named playmaker Greenwood. The return of ex-legend Doorly, slotting in at left back, meant Dan Brown was able to move to the left side of a midfield bolstered by the inclusion of Tino (partnering Timo) in the centre in an otherwise unchanged 11.
An indifferent start to their season meant that the home side were an unknown quantity, and the mystery was complete when an entirely new squad, minus the (finally!) graduated-Ginger, took to the field. Last season's visits to the Clifton Campus had seen 8 goals conceded, with only two in reply. The Gaffer, ignoring Alan Hansen's claim that "you'll win nothing with kids", rightly suggested to the veterans of the side to 'be afraid...'
An impeccably observed minutes silence was quickly forgotten, as tackles and remonstrations with the young referee disrupted the flow of the game. Fanzines started like the away side they were, clearing desperately in the hope of stifling their oppositions quick, passing style. The opening 15 minutes saw neither 'keeper tested, Fanzines finally coming to terms with the swirling wind and attempting to use the wide men of Remzi and Dan Brown as a way of releasing the pacy Gareth Brown and the wily Heithus up front. The breakthrough, when it came was perhaps against the run of play; a searching ball from the half way line from Timpson was chased down, and as the Law School 'keeper hesitated, a combination of bounce, wind and determination saw the ball spilled, and the grateful Heithus was able to steer the ball home from 10 yards. Hopes that the lead would enable Fanzines to settle and play some of the football that has justified their start to the season were quickly dashed as the students started to up their game. A free kick was comfortably saved, balls whipped in that both Whittaker and Collinson were able to head clear, whilst a deflected shot following a corner was cleared from the line by Dan Brown. As half time approached the resistance finally crumbled. Timpson was wrestled off the ball in the centre circle, a foul inexplicably unpunished by the referee, and as the NLS midfielder carried the ball forward unchallenged he was able to unleash a shot from fully 25 yards that swerved into the back of the net. Relief from the home side, frustration from Fanzines which resulted in the first yellow card of the season, Tino the ungrateful recipient.
And so to half time. A surprise perhaps that the Gaffer wasn't more critical in the lack of self belief, instead calmly reinforcing our footballing ethic that is shown so often on a Tuesday. A bigger surprise, Fanzines actually started the second half having listened to the managers advice, with a new impetus that they could come away with all three points.
A reshuffle due to Doorlys reoccurrence of an ankle injury meant that Buxton slotted in on the right of midfield, Remzi switched wings and Dan Brown dropped back to his more familiar full back role. As Fanzines started to control the game, cracks in the home team's back line started to appear. Whittaker was relieved the whistle had blown for an infringement as he headed over from close in, whilst Shaw and Brown were given more freedom to 'overlap', giving the visitors more width which seemed to stretch the NLS defence. A loose ball in the middle was picked up by Remzi, who slid a perfectly weighted ball through to Gaz Brown. As he challenged the onrushing 'keeper, the ball broke loose, and Brown was able to calmly control the ball before sidefooting past the covering defender to give Fanzines the deserved lead.
A tired Tino was replaced by Hallam, meaning Remzi was switched back to the right (Buxton coming infield to partner Timpson). This change almost resulted in a third, Heithus' powerful drive was just too high. He made amends shortly after, when he latched on to Fanzines' newest 'assist-king', Remzi's perfect through ball, showing both pace and power to hold off the challenge before unleashing a low drive that flew into the bottom corner, to give the away team a two goal advantage.
The shock of going further behind forced the hosts into a new style of attack. They seemed to bypass the pace of the frustrated right winger, and the skills of the Crouch-a-like on the left and opt for a more direct approach, resorting to long throws and hopeful balls. Hesitation from Broughton in a heavily congested area went unpunished as once again Dan Brown was able to hack clear, and when the visiting 'keeper was quick off his line to save well, the resulting rebound was once again smuggled to safety.
Remzi almost capped off a dream day when his measured volley hit an upright, and as the clock ticked so too did the Law Schools desperation. With five minutes to spare, a loose ball, a mistimed challenge and a save from the resulting penalty pretty much ended the students hopes (there's Kip playing down the importance and quality of his save! - ed).
Jubilation from the travelling team and their faithful supporters. Disappointment for the home side. The referees admission that he made a mistake in allowing the Law School equaliser to stand, thankfully not an error that affected the outcome. The Gaffer, justified in his half time belief that a footballing Fanzines side are a match for anyone in Empals top division.
Lets just hope that the weather and the young arsonists of Ruddington are kind to us, and a run of games over the next few weeks will see this two game winning momentum continue.
Team: Broughton, Doorly (Buxton), Collinson, Whittaker, Shaw, Brown D, Timpson, Todino (Hallam), Remzi, Heithus, Brown G.
Goals: Heithus (2), Brown G
''Fanzines United (1) 2 v [[Nottingham Medics]] A (1) 1''
EMPAL Division One
18 November 2007
This is what Sunday morning football is all about, defying the odds when everything seems to be going against you. Officially no changing rooms or showers on the coldest/wettest day of the season so far, awful conditions for football and missing our Captain and other key teammates. All the elements that can conspire to bring the worst out of Fanzines but this morning proved that it takes more than that to knock us off our stride these days.
After an early inspection, the facilities were passed fit and just as well as only four of us managed to find our way back to the store room after the match. Despite being without Whitts, Mark and Joe Doorly, the squad was bolstered by the return of Dave,G11 and Ady Jones. Again early signs didn't bode well when Notts Medics all turned up together and were changed and warming up whilst The Gaffer was still fretting about the tardiness of Captain Shaw and Golden Boy Jimbo.
100% effort, committment and endeavour were the order of the day and with Tino filling his absent brother-in-laws boots and Dave and G11 regaining their midfield berths, that left the unfortunate Jones and Hallam trying to find some warmth on the touchline along with The Gaffer and the loyal Whittaker brother.
Personally I thought we started brightly so the frustration was doubly felt when Notts Medics took a very early lead direct from a corner in off the back post. Post match analysis( ie pub talk) tried to put the blame firmly on G11s head (note: unlike the ball) but he claimed that the faintest touch by Kip took it off him (although if you are stood shivering on the post with your eyes shut I think thats clutching at straws). So early worries about Fanzines' desire to win were put to the test and the next 15 minutes were a stern test of character before we finally settled down.Slowly we began to compete and tried to slip Daz or Gareth in but we hung on to the ball far too long and seemed scared to pass and move.
The first real chance fell to Daz who turned and shot when Dave was well placed for a pass and this seemed to sum up our play, making the wrong decision in the final third but after a few crossed words The Dazzler began to work tirelessly for the cause. So it was no surprise then that after half an hour Daz crossed (shot?) low across the face of the six yard box and the ball eluded everyone except a calm Twiggy who swung his trusty left foot and buried it at the far post (whilst falling flat on his arse - Ed). At last we had started to match the keeness of our young opposition but we still had to be at our best and it was no surprise when Kip was called into action and he made a smart save from a 25 yarder. However, after getting back into the game we had our best spell of play just before half- time.
The Gaffer wanted a bit more composure in the final third and to move the ball a bit quicker down the flanks as well as maintaining our discipline at the back. It's that simple(!) but Medics lined up full of aggression and enthusiasm. However, for all their bluster, Kip didn't have a single save to make and as the 2nd half unfolded Fanzines started to dictate play and create the better chances. Tino was having an outstanding game at the back and Captain Shaw marshalled his back four superbly whilst the midfield took control. Keeping the ball away from Medics Captain and centre-half was imperative, and we were unlucky with a couple of corners. The pressure finally told though when the left back conceded yet another freekick on the right wing. Ady Jones called it spot on from the touchline and when G11 ran over the ball Twiggy's free kick found the far corner perfectly. Still, with the majority of the 2nd half to go Fanzines' resilience was firmly put to the test, but despite a 10 minute period when we sat back a bit too much and allowed a shot to flash just wide, we coped admirably.
The introduction of Ady for Gareth with Twiggy moving up front meant we had another outlet and Ady soon played his part passing down the line and steadied the right flank whilst Twiggy worked tirelessly up front. After a couple more freekicks from Twiggy the best chance in the 2nd half fell to G11 who latched onto a chipped ball over the top from Daz but saw his effort go just wide of the far post. Whether it was the excitement of Daz passing or the nerves of being furthest forward on the pitch I'm not sure but G11 collpased with cramp in both legs and put Medics defenders' training to the test while play continued. Paul Hallam manfully stepped into his place despite being frozen.
The last few minutes seemed to last forever but finally Brian blew for full time and another epic battle had been won. 100% effort, committment and endeavour given and the reward of 3 more points added to the total, despite the lack of showers and Club Captain but who cares about such hardships when we work that hard.
Team: Broughton, Shaw, Brown D, Todino, Collinson, Greenwood, Remzi, Timpson, Heithus, Brown G (Jones), Gilbert (Hallam)
Goals: Remzi x2
''[[Notts Athletic]] (0) 0 v Fanzines United (1) 3''
EMPAL Divison One
25 November 2007
With December just around the corner and the half-way point of the season almost within sight, there remains little sense of order and stability in the turbulent world of the EMPAL top division. Expected high flyers are tumbling, whilst supposed also-rans are causing upsets and upset. Nothing is certain. Today's opponents, Notts Athletic, came into today's game fresh from an impressive victory over the champions Burton Joyce, whilst Fanzines were seeking to extend a two game winning streak in order to climb to the top of the league table. Mindful that such an atmosphere is liable to lead to a descent into chaos, Gaffer's christmas wish-list simply requested a continuation of the effort and organisation that has seen the team begin to eliminate the sporadic, costly errors that cost us so dearly in the past, with an impressive defensive record enabling a series of results that would have been unthinkable a few seasons ago.
Cast away on the narrowest, slopiest, most distant pitch at Alford Road, Fanzines took to the thankfully firm surface in unfamiliar attire, a natty QPR-esque white and blue number (without numbers) rescued from Dan's mate's garage that prevented the colour clash issues of the cup game three weeks before and which allowed Jimbo to revel in the way his white boots neatly blended into the pristine socks. Nice. With the home side piling down the hill from the start, and again playing with five in midfield, the frenetic opening minutes saw Fanzines having to withstand a series of hopeful attacks, but both Adam and Tino were strong and dominant, ably assisted by Rich and Dan who prevented any attempts by the Notts wide men to penetrate the back line. Kip's only trouble was the need to constantly retrieve the ball from the road as the stripes were limited to a number of wayward shots from distance, whilst the white's attempts to attack up the hill were disjointed but seemingly more potent. Twiggy forced a miraculous save from the keeper after a fierce right foot shot, whilst the Notts centre-half was forced to belt the ball over over his own bar after a chip from Dan (?) just lacked the legs to sneak over the line.
A moment of composure and quality was required to make the decisive breakthrough, and it came as a Notts clearance from a brief period of Fanzines pressure was mopped up by Tino, controlled by Dave whose squeezed pass to Jimbo allowed just enough time for the golden one to guide a fantastic shot from way outside the area into the bottom right-hand corner of the net. A tremendous finish, and a deserved lead at half-time. As the weak autumn sun emerged for the second-half and Notts changed to a 4-4-2 formation in an effort to retain possession in more advanced areas, the finesse and fitness of Fanzines began to show through. G11 began to sparkle on the left, stretching the full-back as much as the confines of the pitch would allow, whilst Daz 'n' Gaz battled away manfully against their markers, forcing a series of corners and throw-ins in dangerous positions, from which Fanzines indirectly extended their lead. With most of the home side defending deeply in their own box, Daz's turn and shot in the six-yard area was hacked away but fell only to the advancing Adam who chested the bouncing ball, allowed it to drop and half-volleyed a cracker which dipped and swerved straight into the goalies hands....straight through the goalies hands, and into the net.
A measure of control had been applied and, as Fanzines were afforded the time and space to actually begin to pass the ball to each others feet (!), the feeling of comfort and security spread. Jimbo made way for Whitts, and Mark came on for Daz, the quality of the changes made and the options still available to the Gaffer a testimony to the strong, competitive nature of the squad these days. The whites finally made a corner count, as Twiggy's precise delivery from the left was met with a crashing header from Adam for his second of the game. Notts were well-beaten, and frustrated by their inability to impose themselves on the game and the series of free-kicks awarded against them by the ref, their striker lashed out at skipper Shawy with a late challenge that was out of context with the rest of the game, and which saw him booked by the official and subbed by his own boss.
So, three league wins in a row, and Fanzines find themselves in the unfamiliar position of leading the way in the East Midlands Public Authorties League. Gaffer's squad of little elves are endeavouring to deliver the present that he wants the most, but with two tricky away games to come, and with nothing certain in this season of surprises, it's likely to be the team that maintains consistency and avoids complacency that will be top of the EMPAL tree this christmas.
One game at a time. One game at a time.
Team: Broughton, Shaw, Brown D, Todino, Collinson, Greenwood, Remzi, Timpson (Whittaker), Heithus (Buxton), Brown G, Gilbert
Subs Not Used: Jones, Gordon
Goals: Timpson, Collinson x2
''[[Brinsthorpe Rangers]] (1) 1 v Fanzines United (0) 1''
EMPAL Divison One
2 December 2007
Perception is a wonderful thing. How you see something will be different from how someone else sees the same thing or how I see it, though, of course, I am always right. It will always be affected by the circumstances, by the expectations and by something as simple as mood or weather or perceived injustices. There are no facts. There is no truth. Nothing is real.
It would be easy to say that the performance in this match against a determined Brinsthorpe side was below standard, but that wasn't the case at all. Brinsthorpe are a decent side. A side that beat Fanzines 3-1 in our last meeting. A side that pipped us to the second division title the year before. A side that have taken points from many of the best teams in the division this year. Any perception that the Fanzines performance was not up to recent standards is probably due to the relatively sluggish start and the scrappy goal conceded in the first ten minutes, and then by the ensuing failure of the visitors to make a succession of chances count.
But in terms of an actual performance, the conditions and the sporadic in-fighting did not have an adverse effect. Whilst there were periods where the passing was not up to scratch, where the wrong option was made, where communication was absent, and where the passion and frustration threatened to spill over into chaos, it was still a game where Kip's goal was largely untroubled, where the defence was rarely stretched, and where, on another day, Fanzines could easily have converted three or four gilt edged opportunities.
After a half-cleared ball from an early corner had been lashed into the net by the Brinsthorpe midfielder, the home side battled fiercely and impressively, disrupting any flow of play, and restricting the shiny shirted opponents to few moments of domination, which only occurred when the stripes finally began to pass the ball to each other. A fierce shot from G11 after a good run and cross by Daz was well saved by the keeper, whilst Adam narrowly headed over from a deeply flighted corner. Second-half chances and pressure increased, with Adam again stabbing over the bar from a few yards, Jimbo unable to back-heel from inches, Daz shooting strongly but widely on a number of occasions, and Dave being blocked by determined lunges from the green and yellow defensive line that was throwing itself into every challenge
It seemed that the game was lost. Having played at least five added minutes and with time drifting by, like the ball on the wind as it was successively blown/bashed out of play, Daz won a hotly contested free-kick wide on the right and Twiggy, having blazed a similar set-play over the bar ten minutes before, somehow floated the ball over the keeper and into the far corner of the net for an unexpected but magnificent equaliser. Brinsthorpe lambasted the ref for the added time, and the award of the freekick, and the general...unfairness of it all, whilst Fanzines greeted the final whistle with an odd mixture of frustration, relief and annoyance. It all felt just a bit....unsatisfactory. But don't be fooled. Fanzines have played worse and won, and will do so again. In the context of the league season, this was another valuable point. The new rossoneri are proving difficult to beat.
Team: Broughton, Shaw, Brown D, Whittaker, Collinson, Greenwood, Remzi, Timpson, Heithus, Buxton (Jones), Gilbert (Gordon)
Subs Not Used: None
Goal: Remzi
''[[Total Reclaims Demolition]] (1) 1 v Fanzines United (1) 2''
EMPAL Divison One
9 December 2007
[img[Goal of the season?|http://photos-b.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sctm/v171/49/40/675480657/n675480657_488989_1650.jpg]]
Daybreak (yes, I saw it) heralded a damp and windy outlook and a step outside confirmed a biting chill in the air. Just the weather, then, for a visit to the always welcoming playing fields of Trent Embankment for a winner-goes-top clash against Total Reclaims Demolition.
TRD are a much changed and much improved side from the rather unsavoury version that we met in Division Two during 2005/6 and, for the second time this season, they were to provide us with a stern examination of our title credentials. The Gaffer’s pre-match team talk and line-up tinkering – Twiggy up front, Mark in centre-mid for the rested Jimbo and Jonesy keeping the shape on the right - seemed to do the trick as the away side started well. Dazzler fashioned himself a great opening but shot just over from fourteen yards when placement to either side may have been the better option while the first of many determined runs down the right by the same player saw G11 just fail to get a telling touch on a pull back from eight yards out. However, the deadlock was broken 20 minutes in when Dave's arse-blocked shot led to a corner which Twiggy delivered to perfection; a diving Adam doing a passable impression of Andy Gray’s winner for Everton against Notts at Meadow Lane in an FA Cup quarter-final many years back – you know, the one when he heads it in from an inch off the turf (the younger ones among you may wish to refer to an older relative at this point!).
Two more in-swingers from the same boot forced last ditch headers from TRD’s impressive number 17 while at the other end Kip had to get down smartly to smother a drive from the edge of the box. Ten minutes before the break, though, the home side switched off when facing a free-kick 25 yards out and a deft chip around the wall let in TRD’s number 7 for a fine finish across Kip and into the bottom corner. Frustration at the glitch on the pitch was mirrored off it, where Robertino’s cries of ‘I told you what was going to happen’ could be heard all the way to Wilford.
With honours even at half-time The Gaffer warned his charges of the need to match the desire of the home side while maintaining possession of the ball in key areas. This, he felt, would be enough to win the game and, as usual, he was proved right, but not before the home side had dominated possession for the opening half hour of the second period. That they did so without ever really threatening Kip’s goal is credit to those in front of him who harassed and closed and worked tirelessly, and in particular a back four who were as resolute as at any other time this season. At this level it’s the work you do off the ball which wins you games as much as what you do on it, and that single fact probably more than any other tells the tale as to why we sit proudly top of EMPAL Division One. We dug in and eventually played ourselves back into a game which otherwise would have been lost and, minutes after Daz’s shot on the turn was just too high, a ball to G11 at the far post was knocked back for Dave to hit the sweetest of first-time strikes with the outside of his right boot from 16 yards, beyond a helpless keeper and into the top corner. The Gaffer’s David Pleat dance was by all accounts more reserved than the previous week - he only got a few yards onto the pitch this time - a fact for which the scorer must have been grateful! Five minutes to go and the hatches were well and truly battened down with a determination that a lead which had been gained with such difficulty would not easily be lost.
The final whistle brought relief and acknowledgement to TRD that they emerged pointless from a game to which they had wholly contributed and from which they undoubtedly will feel they deserved a share of the spoils. However, the side which created the clearer chances on a day when there were very few took the spoils and that is fast becoming the story of the season. The Gaffer’s post match talk centred around his membership of the referees union and a warning that any future shows of dissention will result in fines for the guilty but at the final word there was no hiding his delight at the taking of three points from a fixture with such banana skin potential.
Team: Broughton, Shaw, Brown D, Whittaker, Collinson, Greenwood, Jones (Todino), Buxton, Heithus, Remzi, Gilbert
Sub Not Used: Timpson
Scorers: Collinson, Greenwood
''Fanzines United (1) 2 v [[West Bridgford Albion]] (1) 2''
EMPAL Div One
16 Dec 2007
Imagine my surprise nay shock when I arrived at Elms Park at 9.28am clutching shiny new gold keys and full of anticipation to be greeted not by Twiggy and Hallam 'doggin' in the car park or hordes of screaming kids but 3/4 of the West Bridgford Albion team. That seemed to set the tone for the rest of the morning as we played catch up thereafter. As the Fanzines squad slowly assembled and even more reluctantly put the goals up, the eternal pessimist in me feared the worst.
As the morning unfolded it continued to be a series of highs and lows. For if I was disappointed about pre-match preparations I was re-invigorated after a highly impressive warm-up. Fanzines lined up with one change from the previous week as Tino replaced the absent Dan Brown at left back. Gareth and the legendary Joe Doorly were named as substitutes along with Jimbo who due to work commitments was unable to make it at all.
The match started at brake neck pace and proved to be a real end to end affair. West Bridgford Albion's striker Tom Carey proved to be a constant threat with his aerial strength and forceful runs but for the most part Adam and Whitts marshalled him magnificently well. At the other end Twiggy and Daz started to get to grips with the opposition's willingness to over indulge at the back. In fact Fanzines appeared to be getting on top of the game when Twiggy had two clear runs on goal both of which were thwarted by the chain-smoking keeper. Shortly after this WBA took the lead from a corner. As the ball bounced in the box someone swung a boot and the ball nestled in the back of the net. Lucky bounce or not I'm unsure but it was another goal conceded from a corner. However, within a couple of minutes Fanzines drew level from that most regular of providers. After being awarded a free kick about 10 yards in WBA's half, Twiggy whipped in a quality cross that bypassed everyone lined up in the box and fell right at Whitts feet who dispatched it with aplomb.
Unfortunately the mayhem that ensued sums up all that is rotten about the beautiful game, for whether a foul was committed or not, the histrionics and lack of respect for the referee was appalling. As the half time whistle was blown it appeared that the entire West Bridgford Albion team continued to lambaste and harangue the ref throughout the whole interval.
Despite the best efforts to re-group and concentrate on bagging another 3 points and round the year off in style, unfortunately we got embroiled with the constant bickering and nagging that is symptomatic of WBA's play. So it was no surprise when we went 2-1 down, if a little bizarrely. Good work down the right flank saw a high swirling ball delivered to the far post. Time seemed to stand still as Kip and Captain Shaw waited for each other to react but instead the ball ended up in the back of the net as the smallest man forward got a touch on the ball.
Although, there was still at least half an hour to go (this can be verified by the arrival of a certain Mr Lowe) our play seemed to become panicky and chances were thwarted by a determined WBA defence. All looked lost after good chances were either repelled or squandered by the Fanzines attack. Kip still had to be alert and made a strong save to deny WBA a great chance on the break. Twiggy's trademark free kick was cleared off the line, whilst Daz failed to find the target when clean through, so the introduction of Gareth seemed inevitable to provide a fresh pair of legs. Once he had stopped trying to take on the entire Albion team, cracks appeared to be developing in the opposition defence. Shortly after Joe Doorly's introduction, the ball found its way over from the right via Ady Jones,Gaz, Mark and Doorly (you work out the assist) where it fell kindly to Tino who had continued his run and, like his brother-in-law, coolly finished at the far post. Quite what our left back was doing up there I have no idea but all those Tuesday night jogs to Rushcliffe have definitely payed off. Despite some very vocal protestations, the static WBA goalie could merely berate his even more static defenders and leave the poor ref alone for once, although that was probably the only decision that went unchallenged all game. About 8 minutes were left and the match ended all square, the spoils of war shared and another battle over.
So, one point rescued or two points lost? I'm not sure but I do know that you can all be proud of a record that contains just one league defeat at the halfway stage of the season. However, the pressure is becoming tougher every game as everyone wants to beat us and we might even have to improve on that record of a solitary defeat and three draws as we start again in the New Year. It's tough at the top but yet again Fanzines proved that we have the resilience and desire to fight till the end. Enjoy your Christmas break, be sensible and I am sure Santa will be kind to you all this year, and let's hope he manages to deliver the dummies and mardy pills to the right addresses in West Bridgford.
Seasons Greetings
The Gaffer (HO!HO!HO!)
Team: Broughton, Shaw, Todino, Whittaker, Collinson, Greenwood, Jones, Buxton, Heithus (Doorly), Remzi (Brown G), Gilbert
Sub Not Used: Timpson
Goals: Whittaker, Todino
''[[West Bridgford Albion]] (1) 1 v Fanzines United (3) 5''
EMPAL Div One
6 Jan 2008
Sometimes it all seems so simple. Fanzines launched themselves into this return league fixture against the EMPAL Cup holders with a start that was as crisp and bright as the January sunshine, and which left no doubt as to which of the two sides would be most likely to be battling for silverware come the end of the season. With a strong, confident squad at his disposal, The Gaffer's selection dilemmas continued with the return of Jimbo, the fit-again Gareth and the prodigal Stephen, whilst Robertino's recent impressive displays gave him the nod ahead of the returning Dan at left-back. A competitive game was expected, especially after the strongly contested match before Christmas, but Albion were strangely subdued from the start and were quickly punished for it.
Having enjoyed much of the possession in the opening five minutes, Fanzines took the lead from the first corner of the game as Twiggy's near post cross was flicked into the net by a combination of Whittaker and the covering defender. And from the next attack the lead was doubled, as Adam rose to win a header from a flighted free-kick and prod the ball back to Gaz who drilled it high into the net from the edge of the box. Two-nil, and the home side's defence was being run ragged by the endeavours of Daz and Gaz who hassled and harried, causing havoc and panic to spread through the back-line. Within twenty minutes it was three-nil as Gaz escaped a strong binding challenge from the sliding defender and, using the advantage provided by the impressive referee, unleashed a long range shot which was saved by the keeper and fell to the feet of the centre-half standing on the penalty spot who strangely decided to lash the ball into his own net, a decision he may subsequently have regretted, especially as the closing Daz was at least ten yards away at the time.
With such a comfortable lead so easily attained, Fanzines began to succomb to the tempatation to over commit and over indulge and, though chances were still created, WBA began to play themselves into the game by passing the ball around neatly, though mostly in a harmless fashion. Twiggy had a great finish ruled out for off-side, whilst Kip was forced to make a good save after a WBA defender sauntered the length of the field with the ball, seemingly oblivious to the inept attempts to challenge him by the men in white. Then, in the last minute of the half, Fanzines sloppily conceded when a dubiously awarded corner was quickly taken, resulting in the hastily organised defences being overloaded and breached for the first time.
A sobering wake-up call for the second 45, though a come back was never really on the cards. The home side seemed particularly out-of-sorts, whilst Fanzines' only regret at the end of the game would've been the number of clear-cut chances that went begging. The result was made absolutely safe mid-way through the period when a mix up at the back between keeper and defender allowed Dave to accept the invitation to pass the ball into the empty net, and allowed the Gaffer to introduce Dan and Stephen for Aidy and Daz. Steve wasted no time in re-introducing himself to the league, getting on the end of a number of through balls and linking well with his strike partner, but both forwards were guilty of missing good chances before Gaz's ridiculous attempt at a looooong range volley was scuffed to the feet of Connor who had time to turn and pass the ball into the corner of the net to complete the win.
A thoroughly impressive display in patches then, though the failure to consistently pick the easy pass is something that The Gaffer and Andy will be keen to address, and will at least give the dynamic duo something to moan about. Anyway, five wins and no defeats from the last seven league games is a pretty impressive run of results, though the ultimate tests are still to come, starting with next week's visit to the league champs. Welcome to the big time.
Team: Broughton, Shaw, Todino, Whittaker, Collinson, Greenwood, Jones (Brown D), Timpson, Heithus (Connor), Brown G, Remzi
Goals: Whittaker, Brown G, o.g., Greenwood, Connor
''[[Punjab Colts]] (0) 0 v Fanzines United (1) 1''
EMPAL Cup
3 Feb 2008
With the squad being pushed to its limits – Adam, G11, Mark, Jonesy and Dan making up the absent five-a-side dream team – the last thing The Gaffer’s heart needed was a late night text from Jimbo the Scamp informing him of another injury. Thankfully it proved to be an (alcohol induced?) jolly jape from the golden boy and Andy’s boots stayed in his car for at least another week. Phew. Praise be, then, to both Anthony and Haseley for answering the call and filling the substitutes berth, even more so as both were to go on and make vital contributions. A bright start saw the home side on the back foot and The Gaffer with a smile on his face (yes, it’s true, I saw it with my own eyes), happy that his charges had taken his pre-match instructions very much on board. Daz and Gareth had both gone close before the Dazzler looked up and sent a delightfully flighted ball to the far post to be met by the onrushing Stevo with a finish of the highest order, an unstoppable half volley back across the keeper and into the top corner. Ten minutes gone and it was like he’d never been away. Five minutes later, however, and the nature of the game was turned on its head with what, at first, seemed like an horrific injury to the goalscorer who lay prostrate and in agony after an innocuous-looking challenge. Fears of a broken leg were thankfully quickly alleyed and, after an on-the-spot diagnosis by Punjab’s doctor centre-half so, hopefully, was ligament damage. Stevo’s assertion that he’d ‘felt it pop’ led Doctor Andy (not his official title) to ponder on an ‘out and in’ knee cap dislocation. Fingers crossed that whatever damage is diagnosed, it is minimal. The injury certainly seemed to give the home side a lift while the visitors, not surprisingly, appeared to have half a mind elsewhere. Prompted by the excellent number 15 in centre-mid (a Central Midlands League semi-pro who’d come back from uni especially for the game I was informed by his onlooking father) they began to probe and force Fanzines back, although goalscoring opportunities remained at a premium and The Gaffer was rightly pleased when the referee blew the whistle with no change to the scoreline.
Colts had already shown they were capable of posing plenty of problems in the second 45 and when the wind decided to change direction and give them a helping hand it was all feet to the fore. And what a performance resulted. Kip’s handling was perfection, Whitts and Robertino were immoveable colossus while Rich and Joe (lest we forget, playing his first full 90 minutes for ten months) worked overtime to nullify the ever-present threat down both flanks, ably supported by awesome two-way play from both Twiggy and Anthony. Jimbo and Dave cannot have come across a more able opponent all season yet they snapped and harassed tirelessly to restrict while always looking composed whenever finding time on the ball. Up front and feeding off scraps for much of the time Dazzler, full of determination and unselfish running, and Gareth, always looking likely to settle the game with one bit of skill, were backed up by sheer hard work from Haseley in the last 20 minutes when the chasing down of everything made a big difference. And sitting watching it all the goalscorer supreme, in pain but cheered by the sheer team ethic unfolding in front of him, while beside him on the touchline stood The Gaffer, outwardly barking instructions to the last but inwardly glowing with pride. Heroes one and all. Colts may make much of the possession count but by the same token shots on target favoured the away team as did, most importantly, goals scored. However, that is to take nothing away from the Division Four front runners who on the evidence of this game are a very good side and a much welcome addition to EMPAL. Much credit to them, too, for the way they showed genuine concern for Stevo’s injury, both at the time and after the game. But the last word has to go to Fanzines and an outstanding team performance in very difficult circumstances, one of which every player should be proud and which will stay in this memory for a good while yet.
Team: Broughton, Shaw, Doorly, Whittaker, Todino, Greenwood, Connor (Morris), Timpson, Heithus, Brown G (Gordon), Remzi
Goal: Connor
''[[Highfield Park Rangers]] (0) 2 Fanzines United (3) 5''
EMPAL Div One
10 Feb 2008
A pleasant Sunday morning saw us back in League action, with a slight improvement in both playing conditions and changing facilities...I did say slight!!
Woody deputised for the absent Kip and despite our lengthy injury list the squad was boosted by the return of Dan and Ady Jones. The only other headache was the lack of a referee but thankfully Highfield Park Rangers came to the rescue at the eleventh hour.
A first half hat-trick by Gareth virtually sealed the victory against the division's bottom club without ever breaking into top gear. Sometimes it can be hard to raise your game against weaker teams, especially when The Brothers Grimm arrive hungover and Jimbo was unnaturally sober, but they soldiered on valiantly. Dave threaded some lovely throughballs whilst Daz was involved in some good link-up play, and was desperate to score, but luck was against him.
But instead of finishing the game off, Highfield got a goal back early in the 2nd half and suddenly they were back in it. Dan made a return to action replacing Joe after injury scares to Jimbo and Whitts. Not long after coming on he played a neat one-two with Twiggy before the HPR midfield and defence "parted like the Red Sea" (to quote Whitts) and his rocket shot whistled just over the crossbar. Thankfully two great moves down the right involving Haseley, Dazzler and Twiggy (who grabbed 2 goals) saw us home. Not before HPR netted a second from a corner when the smallest man on the pitch was allowed a free header from 5 yards.
We have nine League games left and there will no doubt be sterner tests to come before the season is done. So lets stay focused and be ready for another tough match against Notts Medics next Sunday.
Finally, it was good to see Adam and G11 on the sidelines and seemingly on the mend and with Stevo confident that his injury isn't as serious as it first appeared, we will have a full compliment to choose from at the crucial part of the season.
Team: Wood, Shaw, Doorly (Brown D), Whittaker, Todino, Greenwood, Jones, Timpson, Heithus, Brown G (Gordon), Remzi
Goals: Brown G 3, Remzi 2
''[[Freeman & Mitchell]] 0 Fanzines 0''
EMPAL Div One
24 Feb 2008
Woody made half a dozen good saves, we hit the post and missed a sitter and Rich Shaw almost scored the goal of his life. Otherwise Freeman and Mitchell looked like the team chasing the league title.
On the plus side I guess it was a valuable away point.
Thanks to all the subs for turning up especially those who didn't get on and to the spectators/injured players for their support.
Team: Wood, Shaw, Doorly (Brown D), Whittaker, Todino, Greenwood, Jones (Gilbert), Timpson, Heithus (Collinson), Brown G, Remzi
''Fanzines United (0) 1 [[Highfield Park Rangers]] (0) 0''
EMPAL Div One
9 Mar 2008
Running slightly late due to not getting in til 530am I was shocked to be greeted by 3 or 4 HPR's players and a brooding Fanzines Captain. All seemed confused by their surroundings.(I later found out that although I'd managed to promote myself into Jimbo's "Staying out til all hours the night before a match League", our Club Captain had done me by staying out all night!!)
The whole morning was a surreal affair in fact and these are the highlights:-
''(WARNING. FOR ANYONE EXPECTING FOOTBALL, DO NOT READ ON)''
Whitts to Gaffer "I'm not playing,it hurts,it's not worth risking it and I'm not stopping either I'm going home". Good morning to you to Chris.
Shawsy and Tino falling out of Twiggys car,singing dodgy rave toons like they were all on some 18 to 30 holiday. (Thats not a suggestion by the way.)
My fears about when to tell the squad 2 pieces of crucial information,firstly that we didn't have an official Ref and Speccy Lowe had graciously volunteered to do the honourable thing and secondly that next Sundays game has been changed to play Burton Joyce away....yippee.
Being asked to draw the EMPAL Cup Semi-Finals and proceeding to give us a nice easy home tie against 2nd Division opposition.Hang on a minute I've just remembered we lost our easy quarter-final home tie to 2nd Division opposition the previous Sunday.
Kip's pink, yes pink purse (which is now officially banned from all MENS dressing rooms throughout the County) and a home Dressing Room that resembled an episode of Holby City.There were requests for ankle supports, knee bandages,muscle rub and that was just Tino getting his gladatorial armour on.
Watching Dans warm -up I didn't know whether to laugh or cry as we have all the agility and enthusiasm of a group of patients at a nuthouse having their daily exercise,not a top of the table football team.
The man in black threatening me about the time,after already admonishing me over the state of his flags and next minute Ol' Grumpy Chops has declared himself fit to play.
A couple of tweaks (bad choice of words) to the starting X1 and we're off.
Haseley got clattered early on,a tackle which for all the Ref's tough talking about the state of the flags and KO times didn't feel that late challenges warranted particular warnings.Needless to say Hase manfully carried on til half-time which scuppered my plans as Twiggy had to leave early anyway to pose for more billboard advertisements but worse was to follow.After agreeing that Kip wouldn't take goal-kicks,either the walking wounded in front forgot he was there or Kip was just too brave a soldier to ask for some help. Guess what his thigh muscle tore again and although he carried on until the 25th minute, Super-Sub Goalie Dan Brown took over. A decision endorsed by Kip thus, when I told him who was going to take over he replied "Dan, no, he's rubbish" and they're supposed to be friends.
The only other memorable moments of the 1st Half were a couple of near misses from Twiggy and G11. Put simply HP Rangers played with more heart, fight and passion than us.
Stevo replaced Haseley and I tried to point out where we were going wrong but for the 3rd week running that spark or magic or confidence, whatever it is thats missing failed to re-appear.
We tried, I don't doubt that but the quality in our approach play was non-existent apart from one flowing passing move that lacked a finish.That said we did create several good chances and if Stevo's header had gone in with virtually his first touch,the game might have been panned out differently.However,we looked nervy and lacked composure in front of goal and in our desperation to score left ourselves open at the back.
Dan proved confident in goal and made a couple of terrific saves.A last throw of the dice saw Gareth replace Twiggy preventing Tevez from getting on the pitch yet again but still no goal.Then just as it looked like the game and our title aspirations were over we inexplicably scored with 5 seconds of injury time left on the watch. Tino got crunched on the halfway line and was left wailing on the ground like a girl whilst the ball was played forward eventually falling at G11's feet, who casually lobbed the keeper and it seemed as if the whole world stopped as the ball dropped under the bar and nestled in the preverbial "onion bag". Celebrations were somewhat muted due to the Ref's running war of words with the HP Rangers left back, Tino's dying soldier act and him getting carted off then suddenly re-appearing for the last 5 seconds and I'm afraid I was left totally bewildered by the unexpected victory.
Its been a tough season and unfortunately cracks are starting to appear and the dressing room afterwards resembled a Doctors Waiting Room.To their credit HP Rangers took the defeat on the chin,Andy left to see if baby Samuel had finished colouring in his red and yellow cards and just to cap it off their was no hot water.
Miraculously the walking wounded managed to re-group and seemingly sprout brand new limbs in time for the foods arrival in the pub afterwards.Luckily the locals managed to avoid the crush and I disappeared into the afternoon sunset on the hunt for a solution to our pending goalkeeping crisis.
''[[Burton Joyce A]] (1) 5 Fanzines United (3) 3''
EMPAL Div One
16 Mar 2008
[img[The calm before the shit-storm|http://photos-a.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sctm/v215/49/40/675480657/n675480657_697832_3864.jpg]]
It was a morning virtually identical to the previous seasons encounter only without the sleet and hopefully the woefully inept performance of that day. This time however,without a recognised goalkeeper and a re-vitalised Burton Joyce A, we were up against it from the start. The point in the season where our destiny would be determined and our progress judged.
There was no neutral referee and reluctant to do it myself I accepted the offer from the Burton Joyce A Manager to do the decent thing, especially as he stated "At least both teams are fair". Unfortunately the biggest mistake was that he apparently forgot to remind his team why he felt able to officiate.
We were under pressure from the kick off, particularly down the left wing and within minutes were 1-0 down to a well worked Burton Joyce A goal. But after a brief period of control, the home side proved to be just as fragile at the back as Joe surged forward to slip the ball inside to Gareth who drilled it into the corner for a welcome equaliser. It felt like the momentum had turned until, minutes later, Burton Joyce A were awarded a penalty, when what appeared to be a foul on Shawy was in fact penalised the other way round from fully 30 yards away. The Fanzines touchline froze but amazingly Dave marked his debut with a tremendous save low to his right, to keep us in the game. In fact that save proved to be the catalyst, as we powered on to be 3-1 up at half-time. Resolute defending and some neat attacking play saw a belter from Ady Jones and a neat finish from Jimbo turn the game around.
Time to catch our breath, re-group and focus on the inevitable onslaught that was the Second Half.
Burton Joyce A started brightly again but the defence and the goal stood firm with a bit of help of the goalpost on two occasions. Then Burton Joyce pulled one back from a speculative shot from outside the box that was deflected passed a helpless Dave. 2-3 with 20 minutes still to play. Stevo replaced Gaz up front but nothing would fall for us up there as Burton Joyce tightened their defence.
All I can say about the Burton Joyce A equaliser is that it was a blatant handball and not a diving header but the goal was given. In all my time connected with the club I have never seen any Fanzines players on the pitch or close to the incident more outraged by a single action from an opposing player, or left feeling such as strong sense of injustice.
Personally I felt helpless and ashamed. Helpless to stop them getting into trouble and ashamed with myself for not volunteering to referee the game in the first place.
Unfortunately we ended up losing 5-3. A brilliant save from Dave cruelly bounced off the post and hit someone and ended up in the back of the net. In the final seconds, a fifth was put in although the offside flag was raised but never followed up.
I am not afraid to lose a game of football but it was the manner of the defeat that hurts. I didn't really know how to react afterwards. I'm used to feeling angry or frustrated by poor performances or bemused by good ones that we lose, like earlier in the season against West End, but I just felt numb and the sanctuary of the dressing room offered little comfort as all I really wanted to do was smash something to pieces.
In summary the only explanation that I have to offer is this. Most of you will have forgotten that we actually won a trophy last season. Yes we are the current holders of the Divisional Sporting Team Award and when I handed these out at training we vowed then that we were fed up winning this award (that's the 3rd time that we have won it to date) and wanted to win something more meaningful. Well if that's what it takes to become Division 1 Champions then yesterday morning has made me realise that I would rather stick to the Sporting Team Award, especially if it means compromising our principles to become League Champions.
Final score.
Division 1 Champions 5 - Divisional Sporting Team 3
The Gaffer
Team: Cawthorn, Shaw, Doorly, Whittaker, Collinson, Todino (Greenwood), Jones (Morris), Timpson, Brown G (Connor), Remzi, Gilbert
Scorers: Brown G, Jones, Timpson
''Fanzines United 4 [[Radcliffe Olympic A]] 0''
EMPAL Div One
30 Mar 2008
[img[Boof!|http://photos-h.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v197/49/40/675480657/n675480657_739527_8809.jpg]]
We scored four goals, missed a few chances and had what seemed about 90% possession. They only had ten men but were well organised, defended with purpose and in numbers. Kip had two saves to make in the whole game. G11 doubled his tally for the season, the first a nifty back header from on the line. Josef D scored another of his one-a-season beauties. Andy’s hip went funny again while running the line. Dan Brown took some photos. Gaffer wasn’t happy but then was-ish. Woody sneaked a fag after Lisa had gone home. The downpour promised by the ref never arrived. You can only beat what’s put in front of you.
Team: Broughton, Shaw, Doorly, Collinson, Whittaker, Todino, Jones (Greenwood), Timpson, Brown G (Morris), Connor, Gilbert
Scorers: Gilbert x 2, Brown G, Doorly
''Fanzines United (0) 0 [[Nottingham Law School]] (2) 3''
EMPAL Div One
10th April 2008
A Thursday evening at Parc des Elms, and a case of men against boys. Unfortunately the Law School boys proved to be noticeably fitter, faster and stronger than the creaking man bones of Fanzines, particularly in the first half in which the home side were not only taken to the cleaners, but also neatly folded, wrapped in plastic, packed in boxes and carted away for storage.
Metaphorically.
Fresh from an EMPAL Cup semi-final victory, and still with a chance of claiming the league title themselves, the visitors powered forward at every opportunity, slicing through the Fanzines midfield and stretching the exposed back line to breaking point. Failing to stem the tide or impose any control on proceedings, the reds fell behind after a powerful shot was slammed beyond Woody's despairing dive, after a period of frenetic pressure. And a second soon followed as the pacy Law School winger turned the ruthlessly exposed Shawy inside out before cutting infield onto his right foot and screwing the ball inside the near post.
And whilst the organisation and communication levels slowly began to improve in the second half, as the light faded and the rains came, the Fanzines strikers were given no opportunities to trouble the keeper, with Gaz in particular doing most of his best work by working back to supplement his weary colleagues. In the gloaming a killer third goal was conceded as a low cross into the box fizzed between goalkeeper and defence, was left by all concerned, and was turned in at the far post.
Taking nothing away from the quality of the opposition, possibly the best side encountered this season, but at the end evening the manner of the Fanzines performance was almost as disappointing as the final result. With four games remaining, and maximum points a distinct requirement, the season hangs in the balance.
Team: Wood, Shaw, Doorly, Whittaker, Collinson, Todino (Morris), Remzi, Timpson (Greenwood), Brown G, Connor, Gilbert (Jones)
Sub Not Used: Gordon
''Fanzines United (1) 3 [[Notts Athletic]] (0) 0''
EMPAL Div One
13 April 2008
Well after the doom and gloom of last Thursday's horror showing against Nottm Law School, Sunday had all the makings of a typical Fanzines nightmare performance. Missing the midfield triumverate of G11, Jimbo and Adie Jones (sampling the delights of County Cork) and still without the injured Dazzler, we were down to the bare bones. Then news broke that Tino was injured/hungover and Whitts was suicidal, in fact I don't know who felt more miserable, me or him. Add to that a dazed and confused Kip, 3 days into fatherhood, and at least 16 players in the Notts Athletic squad, the omens didn't bode well. And I haven't even mentioned the state of Joe or Whitts' feet yet.
A last minute call to arms saw Dan Brown once more don the coveted Red & Black shirt for the 1st half only, which meant Joe Doorly pushing up to bolster the midfield and a rare start for young Tevez. Haseley agreed to be sub along with Woody.
The first half was an open affair and both teams played some decent football, although the more clear cut chances fell to Fanzines with one-on-one's with the keeper squandered by Gaz, Stevo and Twiggy (who managed to wrestle Shawys crown of the club's "most rubbish footballer" easily off his head). We did manage to produce some of our best approach play for a long time and the ball was moved around well by Tevez, Stevo and Gaz. The pressure eventually told and Gaz got on the scoresheet to take us in 1-0 up at the break.
Dan left for his tennis appointment, Haseley came on and Twiggy switched to left back!!!
The second half saw more of the same although we desperately needed a second goal to kill Notts Athletic off once and for all. We kept going and thanks to Haseley's tenacity he managed a brace to cap off a satisfactory morning. The second half will be remembered for Tevez's shoulder injury and the emergence of a new star on the left wing. Woody took over from Kip in goal (much to the castigation of the opposition and the horror of the Fanzines backline) and Kip embarked on his new career. It proved to be extremely entertaining, well for everyone else anyway.
Basically we won 3-0, we played some decent football and created plenty of chances, all with a smile on our faces. Twiggy did well at left-back and passed the crown back to Shawsy. Joe Doorly survived in midfield and Whitts actually smiled. All in all it was a pleasant way to spend a Sunday morning and we secured another 3 points in our quest to win the league title.
Thanks to everyone for their effort,attitude and for restoring the pride and enjoyment back into our football.
The Gaffer
Team: Broughton, Shaw, Brown D (Gordon), Whittaker, Collinson, Greenwood, Morris (Wood), Doorly, Brown G, Connor, Remzi
Goals: Brown G, Gordon 2
''[[Notts Medics A|Nottingham Medics]] (0) 0 Fanzines United (0) 2''
EMPAL Div One
16 April 2008
With a third game in six days and the finish line almost in sight, this was where the marathon became a sprint. Such was the tempo at which Medics launched themselves into the game this evening that Fanzines were in danger of being left behind, finally blown out of the title race by the younger, motivated opposition. That the visitors to the salubrious Forest Rec managed to resist the early onslaught and prevent the goal from being breached speaks volumes for the organisation and commitment that has been instilled over many seasons of hard work. The match, the season, seemed to hinge on withstanding the first-half storm. This was a real test. If we could come away from here with a win, then christ!, we fuckin' deserved to win the title.
But it was tight, and at times the reds were seemingly clinging on, hoping for respite, as Medics attacked with a pace and intensity rarely encountered at this level. But not for nothing do Fanzines boast the best defensive record in the league, working cohesively to limit the time and space afforded to the home side, who found themselves restricted to half-chances and snap shots.
And though Medics clipped the bar with a shot from wide early in the second half, Fanzines responded by forcing a series of corners and seeing one header thud against the woodwork and another scuffed off the line. Legs were clearly tiring and mistakes were inevitable on the rutted pitch, with wind and gloom both increasing in intensity. The first goal would prove to be crucial, and it fell to Fanzines when Jonesy's whipped corner to the near post was clutched at by the keeper, and Haseley, with some old-school forward play, delivered the final blow.
With play becoming increasingly stretched, and the frenzy of the Medics attacks on the verge of spilling out of control, Fanzines delivered the sucker punch to clinch the points and soothe the nerves of The Gaffer and Justin, as G11 drilled a free-kick into the box from midway on the left and Adam rose to win yet another header which flew into the bottom corner of the net, to roars of delight and relief. Refusing to accept defeat, Medics pressed on but to no avail. A lesser side would have been ripped apart by the level of their performance in this game, and each and every one of the Fanzines players should take huge credit from the resilience, tenancity and teamwork that they showed to ensure that the season is still very much alive.
Not for the first time, I'm proud to be part of this team.
Wood, Shaw, Doorly, Whittaker, Collinson, Greenwood, Jones, Todino (Timpson), Gordon (Brown G), Connor, Remzi (Gilbert)
Sub Not Used: Heithus
Goals: Gordon, Collinson
''Fanzines United (1) 3 [[Brinsthorpe Rangers]] (0) 0''
EMPAL Div One
20 April 2008
[img[Maintaining the pressure|http://photos-a.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v236/49/40/675480657/n675480657_776080_6520.jpg]]
Of course, what we remember are the cold, hard facts. The mechanics of it all. The highlights are recited, the numbers are combined and the story is told. This becomes the reality. For how else could it be explained? We describe the goals scored as if that would help. The near post header by the skipper from Adie's corner at the end of the first half that finally broke the deadlock. The killer second goal, a tap-in for Adam following a quick break and cross by Stephen, and a return of the favour in the last ten minutes to allow Ste to finally break his goal hoodoo. We even mention the stunning low save by Kip to preserve the lead when there was still just a single goal between the sides. But what does that really tell you?
It does not explain how games are won or lost. It does not explain who these people are, and why they should care about something that means so little. It does not explain the motivation required to put all other things, life, aside and dedicate time and effort, week after week, for a common cause. Or what makes someone try so hard for such little reward. What makes a player, in that moment, run so hard to close the space? To chase the man who has broken through? Why does he fling himself into challenges? Why does he persevere when his body is on the verge of letting him down? When his own failings, his inability to pass the ball where intended, to win the headers, to convert the chances, are exposed so ruthlessly? When the opposition may be fitter, stronger and more technically adept?
Let's not forget that this is basically the same bunch of players that 4-5 years ago were languishing in the second division, happy to be second best because there was no alternative, playing for laughs though they were often hard to find. The butt of jokes. An inconsequence. These players have not suddenly discovered latent skills that have transformed them into superstars. They're still as rubbish as they always were. So something must have changed. Either the standard of the league has conveniently slipped or these players, these rubbish laughable players, through hard work and organisation, through dedication and commitment, through intelligence and maturity, these players have become a team. And this team stands one win away from the EMPAL First Division title.
Don't let anyone tell you that it is not deserved.
Broughton, Shaw, Doorly, Whittaker, Collinson, Greenwood, Jones, Todino, Gordon (Brown G), Connor, Remzi (Gilbert)
Sub Not Used: Heithus
Goals: Whittaker, Collinson, Connor
Quality in the centre of midfield as the team descended into chaos during the dark days of [[2000-01]]. Could undoubtedly have played for a much better side and eventually did, but not until he’d seen the season out giving 100% in every game.
A place of dubious repute, in the heart of the Aspley hinterland.
Remembered by [[Andy Lowe]] for hosting a game there years ago on a pitch which was somewhat the worse for wear after one of the local youths had taken to riding his motorbike all over it. And he got knocked unconscious going for a header (which probably explains a lot!). Mind you, he also recalls scoring a very rare goal there so not all memories are bad ones!
[>img[Mike Thomas|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/legends_mike%20thomas.JPG]]
Made his first appearances for the club as a goalkeeper until someone mentioned he wasn’t a bad centre-forward either. Scored over [[fifty goals|Top Goalscorer]] in the season we won the Second Division Championship. Deceptively quick, robust, full of selfless running and a lethal finisher when in sight of goal, Thommo took more than his fair share of cynical challenges but rarely raised more than a whisper in complaint. Yep, all in all, not a bad centre-forward.
The brainchild of [[John Holt]]. Started out just as it said on the tin but soon became anything but after teams who’d been chucked out of other leagues reformed under a new name and applied for membership. Trips to some of Nottingham’s more down at heel playing fields followed - [[Broxtowe Estate]], The [[Forest School]], [[Bilborough Park]], [[King George V Playing Fields]] anyone? No, thought not.
''2001-03 & 2005 - present''
(Forward)
Squad Number: ''14''
[>img[Twiggy|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/14%20neil%20remzi.JPG]] Was once as fast with his wisecracks as he was out of the blocks. And that was quick. The cheekiest of grins coupled with the deftest of touches in front of goal made him a favourite in the dressing room during the 2000/1 season when he broke the 20-goal barrier to finish the [[club's top scorer|Top Goalscorer]]. A back injury and then a job led to him putting his [[Fanzines United]] career on hold but his return has proved that he hasn't loss any of his irritation factor, despite being somewhat less Twiggy than he used to be. Seems to snap at least one hamstring per game. Noisy.
| !Season | !Apps | !Goals |
| [[2001-02]] | 20 | 14 |
| [[2002-03]] | 11 | 2 |
| [[2003-04]] | 5 | 0 |
| [[2004-05]] | n/a | |
| [[2005-06]] | 19 | 4 |
| [[2006-07]] | 18 | 5 |
| [[2007-08]] | 24 | 5 |
Don't know where they came from, but somehow found themselves in the [[EMPAL]] Second Division in 2005/06, and proceeded to concede [[21 goals|Club Records]] in two games against [[Fanzines United]], before deciding to drop out of the league with just a few matches remaining, thus wiping out the results and unjustly handing the title to [[Brinsthorpe Rangers]] who's bizarre loss to Nevabeen early in the season was annoyingly expunged. Bastards!
http://www.webteams.co.uk/Home.aspx?team=nottinghamalumnifc
Nottingham Alumni FC played in the [[EMPAL]] division 1 until joining the NSFL for season 2000/01.
The club was founded in 1994 after players from 2 EMPAL sides, [[Nottingham Medics FC|Nottingham Medics]] and Academics FC joined forces.
[img[Nottingham Alumni|http://lh6.google.com/nottinghamalumnifc/RtmklxAlBNI/AAAAAAAAAEw/-qmHCApHKzY/champions%202004.JPG?imgmax=720]]
Titles:-
EMPAL league div 1winners 1994/5;1996/97 ; 1997/98 ;1998/99;1999/2000
EMPAL cup winners: 1997/98;1998/99;1999/2000
Notts County FA junior cup winners:1995/96
Notts Sunday league premier div 2 winners ;2003/04
Notts Sunday league premier div1 winners :2005/06
Notts sunday league fair play winners 2002/03 ;2003/04
"near misses":
Notts County FA intermediate cupfinal 1999/2000
Notts Sund league senior cup semifinal 2000/01
Notts Sunday league senior div 1 ru 2001/02
"Almost famous"
Chris Malkin (vets 2005/06) Still Blackpools record signing and the only Ally player to score at Wembley.
Tony Simpson (first team 2004/05+) One game for Forest under Cloughy.Semi pro Nuneaton incl scoring match winner v Swansea FA cup rd2
Jassim (first team 2007/08) 4 yrs a pro in his native Qatar,and in the national team.
Mark "woody" Wood (first team 2002+) Sheff Weds reserves,including one game partnering Eric Cantona and a FA youth cup final
Pete Cresswell (first team/vets 1994+) Notts County youth team
Ally Glossop (first team 2004) Rotherham reserves
Mike Simpson (first team 2007) Ex Orient 2006
Team consisting of posh boys from the High School who officially went under the name Wanderers, back in the days of the [[NFFL]]. Played in their school rugby kit, and featured a young [[Dave Greenwood]] amongst their ranks. Disbanded after two seasons when most of the team dispersed to university.
''Home Ground:'' [[Clifton Campus]]
''Colours:'' Blue
Always seem to feature at least one player who is literally head and shoulders above everyone else in the league and who can win games single-handedly. Memories in 2001 of Will Greenwood's younger brother destroying a delicate Fanzines side, whilst the ginger-haired Riise lookalike in 2006-2007 scored a bagful of goals to decide some otherwise tight games. The [[4-3 win|2006-10-29 Fanzines 4 Nottingham Law School 3]] in 2006 was fun though.
''Past Meetings:''
29 Oct 2006 - EMPAL Div One - Fanzines Utd (2) 4 v Nottm Law School (1) 3 - Connor 3, Timpson
26 Nov 2006 - County Cup - Nottingham Law School (1) 5 v Fanzines United (1) 2 - Brown D, Whittaker
04 Feb 2007 - EMPAL Div One - Nottingham Law School (0) 3 v Fanzines United (0) 0
11 Mar 2007 - EMPAL Cup - Fanzines United (0) 0 Nottingham Law School (1) 1
11 Nov 2007 - EMPAL Div One - Nottingham Law School (1) 1 v Fanzines Utd (1) 3 - Heithus 2, Brown G
[>img[Medics|http://www.webteams.co.uk/numfc2/images/numfc21.jpg]]
What could be nicer than pitting your wits against some nice doctor chaps on a Sunday morning, safe in the knowledge that should you suffer any sort of injury some of this country’s finest medical students would be on hand to administer treatment. Well, lots actually. Never the most sporting of opponents, they reached their nadir when kicking and punching us all over the park in a game at [[Grove Farm]] back in 2001. Unfortunately the referee didn’t want to know except when we complained, sending two off for dissent (amazingly, one of them wasn’t [[Lyndon|Lyndon Cowlard]]) and one for retaliation. Topped off nicely when manager [[Andy Lowe]] received a written warning afterwards from the Notts FA as to his and his teams future conduct. Muppets.
18 Nov 2007 - EMPAL Div One - Fanzines United (1) 2 v Nottingham Medics A (1) 1 - Remzi 2
''Home Ground:'' [[Alford Road]]
''Colours:'' Black & Red
''Team Website:'' http://nafc.intheteam.com/
18 Feb 2005 - EMPAL Div Two - Notts Athletic 1 Fanzines United 0
24 Apr 2005 - EMPAL Div Two - Fanzines United 0 Notts Athletic 1
12 Nov 2006 - EMPAL Div One - Notts Athletic (0) 0 v Fanzines Utd (1) 2 - Heithus 2
15 Apr 2007 - EMPAL Div One - Fanzines United 0 v Notts Athletic 2
04 Nov 2007 - EMPAL Cup, 2nd Round - Fanzines United (2) 4 v Notts Athletic(2) 2 - Brown G, Greenwood, Heithus 2
25 Nov 2007 - EMPAL Div One - Notts Athletic (0) 0 Fanzines United (1) 3 - Timpson, Collinson 2
FC Olympico. GM Olympico.
07 Nov 2004 - EMPAL Div Two - FC Olympico 2 Fanzines United 2 - Gilbert 2
10 Apr 2005 - EMPAL Div Two - Fanzines United 0 FC Olympico 3
4 Sep 2005 - EMPAL Div Two - Fanzines United (2) 5 FC Olympico (0) 0 - Connor 2, Heithus 2, Sowerbutts
15 Jan 2006 - EMPAL Div Two - GM Olympico (0) 1 Fanzines Utd (4) 4 - Connor 3, Smith
Figure hugging, nipple burning seventies throwback, orange sash design made from 100% polyester and ‘kindly’ provided by [[Jim Cooke]] for use as the club’s first ever kit. These collectors items still see the light of day occasionally whenever the [[Selectadisc]] select eleven take to the field, although anyone weighing more than eight stone and with a 30”plus chest is advised to stay well clear.
[>img[The Gaffer|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/00%20paul%20harrison.JPG]]
Some are born into greatness, others have greatness bestowed upon them. Equally, some defy description while others are just fat blokes with a beard. Transcending two generations of great [[Fanzines United]] teams, The Gaffer remains the one who set the standards by which others are judged.
[img[The Gaffer|http://photos-657.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v191/49/40/675480657/n675480657_610214_25.jpg]]
[>img[Paul Ravenscroft|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/legends_paul%20ravenscroft.JPG]]
Still the only player for whom the club have ever paid a transfer fee, and [[Andy|Andy Lowe]] remains adamant that it’s the best £5 any club has ever spent. Ravo’s dedication to the cause was always unquestionable – he stood on the touchline and witnessed the infamous Salsbury debacle BEFORE going ahead and signing on the dotted line. Well, I suppose he must have thought he couldn’t do any worse. Went on to form a formidable centre-back partnership with [[Gareth|Gareth Sowerbutts]] before having the misfortune to see out his last days in the claret and amber alongside [[Whitts|Chris Whittaker]]. Never one to speak three words when one would do, Ravo’s calm and assured approach ensured energy was conserved and only expended when needed, usually to get a last ditch foot in when opposing forwards looked odds-on to score. Like [[Fred|Fred Lowe]], another loyal servant retiring to spend time with his family and nurse the wounds of many an EMPAL season.
| !Season | !Apps | !Goals |
| [[2002-03]] | 4 | 0 |
| [[2003-04]] | 21 | 2 |
| [[2004-05]] | 16 | 0 |
| [[2005-06]] | 24 | 0 |
| [[2006-07]] | 13 | 0 |
[>img[Pete Dawn|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/legends_pete%20dawn.JPG]]
Took over the goalkeepers jersey when [[Tony Mack]] decided that the age of 47 was as good as any to hang up his gloves. Dawny wasn’t the most agile of keepers but he was brave and had one hell of a goal kick on him. He also liked sleeping. A lot. In fact, there wasn’t an alarm clock known to man which could raise him, cue [[Jim Cooke]] spending many a Sunday morning throwing stones up at his window to make sure he made kick-off. More often than not Jim was unsuccessful, hence the introduction of [[Walk Tall]].
Actually, that should be ''Pete AND Katherine Southby'', the husband and wife talent team who arrived as if sent from above. Katherine used her hands to produce some of the finest cartoons known to fanzinedom while Pete used his feet to marshal what was previously a ramshackle back four to league title glory. Heck, he even got [[Charlie|Charlie Lee]] a winners medal he was that good. Not that he dared underperform with his wife - the affectionately christened Gafferette - on the sidelines come rain or shine, ready to lambast any stray pass or mistimed tackle . Although now living in Leeds their hearts remain in Nottingham with two for the future - Robert and George - already being brought up to ‘keep the ball on the deck’.
[[Alford Road]]
[[Bilborough Park]]
[[Bridgford Bernebeau]]
[[Broxtowe Estate]]
[[Chilwell Olympia]]
[[Clifton Campus]]
[[Cropwell Butler]]
[[Elms Park]]
[[Farnborough Road]]
[[Forest School]]
[[Gresham]]
[[Grove Farm]]
[[Hall Park]]
[[Harvey Hadden]]
[[Highfields]]
[[John Players Sports Club]]
[[King George V Playing Fields]]
[[Melbourne Park]]
[[The Forest]]
[[Victoria Embankment]]
[[West Park]]
[[Adam Collinson]]
[[Adrian Jones]]
[[Aidy Black]]
[[Alan Harrison]]
[[Andy and Gareth Westby]]
[[Andy Field]]
[[Andy Lowe]]
[[Andy Shaw]]
[[Antony Morris]]
[[Ben Smith]]
[[Charlie Lee]]
[[Chris Bowron]]
[[Chris Whittaker]]
[[Courtney Nangle]]
[[Dan Brown]]
[[Dan Wray]]
[[Darren Heithus]]
[[Dave Greenwood]]
[[Dickie Brinley]]
[[Duncan Richmond]]
[[Fred Lowe]]
[[Gareth Brown]]
[[Gareth Sowerbutts]]
[[Garry Smith]]
[[Graham Gilbert]]
[[Graham Hesketh]]
[[Haseley Gordon]]
[[Ian Cairney]]
[[Ian Richmond]]
[[Ian Swanton]]
[[James Timpson]]
[[Jim Cooke]]
[[Jim Dees]]
[[Joe Doorly]]
[[John Birtwhistle]]
[[John Salsbury]]
[[Jon Poole]]
[[Julian McDougal]]
[[Karl Matthews]]
[[Kip Broughton]]
[[Lewis Bradley]]
[[Lyndon Cowlard]]
[[Mark Bennister]]
[[Mark Buxton]]
[[Mark Fairholme]]
[[Martin Rainbow]]
[[Matt Palmer]]
[[Mick Oram]]
[[Mike Thomas]]
[[Neil Remzi]]
[[Nick Emery]]
[[Oliver Matthews]]
[[Paul Hallam]]
[[Paul Harrison]]
[[Paul Ravenscroft]]
[[Pete Dawn]]
[[Pete Southby]]
[[Rich Shaw]]
[[Robertino Todino]]
[[Robin Pounder]]
[[Stephen Connor]]
[[Steve Cook]]
[[Stuart Cooper]]
[[Stuart Gadsby]]
[[Tony Mack]]
[[Walk Tall]]
[[Whiffer Smith]]
[[Woody]]
[>img[Punjab Badge|http://punjabcoltsfc.intheteam.com/site/images/11110/n5761539622_5028.jpg]]
[>img[Radcliffe Badge|http://www.geocities.com/radcliffeolympic/ROFCLOGO1aa.bmp]]
''Home Ground:'' Radcliffe-on-Trent
''Colours:'' Blue
''Team Website: http://www.geocities.com/radcliffeolympic/Sun1stteam.html''
''Past Meetings:''
23 Oct 2005 - County Cup - Fanzines Utd 5 Radcliffe Olympic 6 - Connor 2, Gilbert 2, Collinson
1 Oct 2006 - EMPAL Div One - Radcliffe Olympic (1) 5 Fanzines Utd (1) 2 - Brown D, Connor
19 Nov 2006 - EMPAL Div One - Fanzines Utd (0) 4 Radcliffe Olympic (2) 4 - Heithus 2, Remzi, Collinson
9 Sep 2007 - EMPAL Div One - Radcliffe Olympic A (0) 1 v Fanzines United (1) 2 - Gilbert, Collinson
''2004 - present''
(Full-back/Centre Midfield)
[>img[Rich Shaw|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/2008%202%20richard%20shaw.JPG]] A midfield colossus and a symbol of truth, justice and righteousness. Just some of the things that Rich is not. Despite being not exactly prolific in front of goal, his enthusiam and ability mean that any absence from the team is keenly felt. Since reverting to right-back, Rich remains the most vocal presence on and off the pitch, particularly when announcing his "Overlap" intentions. Surprisingly hairy.
| !Season | !Apps | !Goals |
| [[2003-04]] | 1 | 0 |
| [[2004-05]] | 13 | 0 |
| [[2005-06]] | 22 | 1 |
| [[2006-07]] | 11 | 0 |
| [[2007-08]] | 26 | 0 |
[<img[Wolfy|http://photos-657.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v362/49/40/675480657/n675480657_1303965_1449.jpg]]
''2007 - present''
(Defence/Midfield)
Squad Number: ''2''
[>img[Robertino Todino|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/2%20robertino%20todino.JPG]] Arrived carrying timber, and now increasingly carried the team, before the pie eating tendencies took over again. Quality on the ball, if he can get near it. Needs to stop shooting from fifty yards.
| !Season | !Apps | !Goals |
| [[2007-08]] | 21 | 1 |
[>img[Robin Pounder|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/legends_robin%20pounder.JPG]]
Solid and reliable full back and proprietor of [[Wild Clothing]], Nottingham’s finest purveyors of quality second hand clothing and the clubs first ever sponsors. The ‘smiling assassin’ still turns up at training to kick the occasional shin.
Was there ever a more dislikeable bunch of deadheads to darken [[EMPAL]]’s reputation for friendly football than this lot. And that’s just the muppets that used to turn up with cans of lager at 10 am on a Sunday morning to laugh and leer as their mates in shirts, shorts and socks literally kicked the opposition all over the park. Those who had the misfortune to play against them at [[Woodborough Park]] in 2001 will never forget the experience. Two head butts, a stamping, a sucker punch to the back of the head, a ref who just wanted to get home in one piece and a 6-0 drubbing to boot. Why it took EMPAL 4 seasons before kicking this lot out is beyond anyone who had the misfortune to come up against them at their moronic worst.
April 2006. [[Fanzines United]] were two-nil up, at home, in the penultimate game of the season, against Rushcliffe SHR with twenty minutes left on the clock, knowing a win would mean that the second division title was their's. [[Andy|Andy Lowe]] makes a couple of defensive changes to shore up the game, and moments later the score is all square. Rushcliffe miss a penalty with the last kick to win the game. Fanzines lose the final game of the season to [[Total Reclaims Demolition]] and finish the season promoted, but runners-up to [[Brinsthorpe Rangers]].
To make matters worse, Rushcliffe folded a season later, with most of their best players joining the very same TRD side.
11 Sep 2005 - EMPAL Div Two - Rushcliffe SHR 1 Fanzines United 0
09 Apr 2006 - EMPAL Div Two - Fanzines United 2 Rushcliffe SHR 2 - Whittaker, Collinson
| !Season | !League | !Pos | !Pl | !W | !D | !L | !GF | !GA | !Pts |
| [[1990-91]] | [[Notts Friendly League|NFFL]] | | | | | | | | |
| [[1991-92]] | [[Notts Friendly League|NFFL]] | | | | | | | | |
| [[1992-93]] | [[Notts Friendly League|NFFL]] | | | | | | | | |
| [[1993-94]] | [[Notts Friendly League|NFFL]] | | | | | | | | |
| [[1994-95]] | [[Notts Friendly League|NFFL]] | | | | | | | | |
| [[1995-96]] | EMPAL Division 2 | ? | 22 | 8 | 4 | 10 | 40 | 42 | 28 |
| [[1996-97]] | EMPAL Division 2 | ''1st'' | 26 | 21 | 4 | 1 | 114 | 37 | 67 |
| [[1997-98]] | ''EMPAL Division 1'' | ? | | | | | | | |
| [[1998-99]] | ''EMPAL Division 1'' | ? | | | | | | | |
| [[1999-00]] | EMPAL Division 2 | ? | | | | | | | |
| [[2000-01]] | EMPAL Division 2 | ? | | | | | | | |
| [[2001-02]] | EMPAL Division 2 | ''4th'' | 20 | 10 | 1 | 9 | 45 | 45 | 31 |
| [[2002-03]] | EMPAL Division 2 | ''6th'' | 22 | 8 | 2 | 12 | 53 | 59 | 26 |
| [[2003-04]] | EMPAL Division 2 | ? | 22 | 8 | 4 | 10 | 40 | 42 | 28 |
| [[2004-05]] | EMPAL Division 2 | ''6th'' | 16 | 6 | 5 | 5 | 27 | 26 | 23 |
| [[2005-06]] | EMPAL Division 2 | ''2nd'' | 20 | 13 | 2 | 5 | 56 | 32 | 41 |
| [[2006-07]] | ''EMPAL Division 1'' | ''4th'' | 18 | 8 | 2 | 8 | 40 | 46 | 26 |
| [[2007-08]] | ''EMPAL Division 1'' | ''2nd'' | 22 | 14 | 4 | 4 | 47 | 24 | 46 |
| [[2008-09]] | ''EMPAL Division 1'' | | | | | | | | |
[img[The world's greatest record shop|http://img115.imageshack.us/img115/1292/selectadisc7na.jpg]]
The world's greatest record shop.
Birthplace of [[Fanzines United]], and source of a continuing stream of footballing talent.
''http://www.selectadisc.co.uk/''
Fanzines United Football Club
''2005 - present''
(Striker)
Squad Number: 10
[>img[Stephen Connor|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/2008%2010%20stephen%20connor.JPG]]
Fanzine's very own weapon of net destruction, Steve ended the 2005/06 and 2006/07season s as the team's [[top scorer|Top Goalscorer]], and was the 05/06 [[player of the year|Ian Swanton Trophy]]. Having learnt from the master in [[The Gaffer's|Paul Harrison]] regular five-a-side jolly, Steve lit up the [[EMPAL]] with his quick, skilful and direct play, and is key to the ongoing pursuit of silverware..
| !Season | !Apps | !Goals |
| [[2005-06]] | 22 | 31 |
| [[2006-07]] | 23 | 22 |
| [[2007-08]] | 10 | 4 |
[<img[Stephen Connor|http://photos-g.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v362/49/40/675480657/n675480657_1349454_2758.jpg]]
Always seemed to be teetering on the brink of an injury but - the small matter of a broken ankle and fractured ribs aside - always patched himself up to get through 90 minutes. Scored the title winning goal at [[Alford Road]] against [[Bilborough FC]] with a 20 yard volley into the top corner, although [[Ben Smith]] will never forgive me if I don’t mention the part played by his nod back - the only time Ben ever headed the ball. A long and illustrious path beckoned but that downfall of many a promising career in Sunday morning football - a woman - intervened and Cooky was sadly never seen again. [[Dan|Dan Brown]], be warned.
"Coop", bass-wielding, wall-bouncing, loud mouthed, bequiffed maniac. One-time right back, assistant manager, trainer. Top bloke. Just don’t buy him a drink.
[>img[Stuart Gadsby|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/legends_stuart%20gadsby.JPG]]
Joined the club fresh out of nappies and left it a dab hand at changing them! As fearless and brave a goalkeeper as has ever graced [[EMPAL]], the eminently likeable Gadders was also his own number one critic, seemingly holding the belief that to concede a goal was a crime worthy of ten years in Pentonville. Another whose dedication to the cause was absolute, Stuart’s ‘sharing’ of the goalkeeping position with [[Kip|Kip Broughton]] left the club in the enviable position of having two top keepers who were happy to share the limelight. Although he’s way too modest to say so himself, there is little doubt that the succession of major knee injuries and subsequent operations which plagued Gadders throughout his career held him back from playing at a higher level, and it is said ‘knackered’ knee which, after much soul searching, has sadly forced an end to his footballing days at an age when most keepers are in their prime. Retires with “countless great memories to look back on” including a league championship winners medal, a Fanzines goalscoring record equal to [[Fred's|Fred Lowe]] and, of course, that all-important Secretary of the Year award!
[img[Team 1991-92|http://photos-c.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v107/49/40/675480657/n675480657_175402_1276.jpg]]
''[[1991-92]]: The 1991/92 team after suffering a 1-5 defeat to [[John Players Sports Club|John Players]] in the final of the [[NFFL League Cup|Cup Finals]].''
Back row, l to r: [[Ian Swanton]], [[Andy Lowe]], [[Garry Smith]], [[Ian Richmond]], [[Jim Dees]], [[Nick Emery]], [[Stuart Cooper]], [[Aidy Black]], [[Charlie Lee]]
Front row, l to r: [[Pete Dawn]], [[Jon Poole]], [[Dickie Brinley]]
Absent: [[Ike Smith]], [[Clifford "Whiffer" Smith|Whiffer Smith]] (Manager)
[img[Team 1992-93|http://photos-a.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v107/49/40/675480657/n675480657_175396_2551.jpg]]
''[[1992-93]]: [[NFFL League Cup Winners|Cup Finals]] after beating [[Bilborough Rockets]] 2-0 in the final at [[John Players Sports Club]]''
Back, l-r: [[Fred Lowe]], [[Andy Smith]], [[Gary 'Walk Tall' Johnson|Walk Tall]], [[Garry Smith]], [[Aidy Black]], [[Stuart Cooper]], [[Paul Harrison]] (The Gaffer)
Front, l-r: [[Andy Lowe]], [[Mark Bennister]], [[Ian Swanton]], [[Dickie Brinley]], [[Andy Westby|Andy and Gareth Westby]], [[Ike Smith]]
[img[Team 1994-95|http://photos-d.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v107/49/40/675480657/n675480657_175391_5458.jpg]]
''[[1994-95]]: [[NFFL Senior Cup Winners|Cup Finals]]''
Back, l-r: [[Paul Harrison]] (Manager), [[Sean Parks]], [[Aidy Black]], [[Charlie Lee]], [[John Birtwhistle]], [[Stuart Gadsby]], [[Graham Hesketh]], [[Fred Lowe]], [[Stuart Cooper]] (Assistant)
Front, l-r: [[Andy Lowe]], [[Jim Dees]], [[Ike Smith]], [[Dickie Brinley]], [[Ian Swanton]], [[Garry Smith]]
[img[Team 1996-97|http://photos-c.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v107/49/40/675480657/n675480657_175398_3412.jpg]]
''[[1996-97]]: 'The dream team'. Second Division Champions and [[EMPAL]] Cup finalists''
Back row, l-r: [[Andy Lowe]], [[Dickie Brinley]], [[Steve Cook]], [[Fred Lowe]], [[Pete Southby]], [[Stuart Gadsby]], [[Mike Thomas]], [[Adam Collinson]], [[Aidy Black]], [[Paul Harrison]] (The Gaffer)
Front row, l-r: [[Ben Smith]], [[Robin Pounder]], [[John Birtwhistle]], [[Gareth Westby|Andy and Gareth Westby]], [[Charlie Lee]]
[img[Team 2004-05|http://photos-657.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v79/49/40/675480657/n675480657_164624_1869.jpg]]
''[[2004-05]]: Prior to losing the last match of the season against [[Notts Athletic]] at [[Gresham]] and missing out on promotion to [[EMPAL]] Division One''
Back, l-r: [[Andy Lowe]] (Manager), [[Adrian Jones]], [[Fred Lowe]], [[Stuart Gadsby]], [[Chris Whittaker]], [[Paul Ravenscroft]], [[Gareth Sowerbutts]], [[Duncan Richmond]], [[Paul Harrison]] (Gaffer)
Front, l-r: [[Courtney Nangle]], [[Dave Greenwood]], [[Rich Shaw]], [[James Timpson]], [[Garry Smith]], [[Graham Gilbert]], [[Lyndon Cowlard]]
[img[Team 2005-06|http://photos-657.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v79/49/40/675480657/n675480657_164626_2947.jpg]]
''[[2005-06]]: Presenting the impressive cheque to Rainbows Children's Hospice''
Back, l-r: [[Andy Lowe]] (Manager), [[Dan Brown]], [[Darren Heithus]], [[Joe Doorly]], [[Duncan Richmond]], [[Kip Broughton]], [[Adrian Jones]], [[Ian Cairney]], [[Adam Collinson]], [[Gareth Sowerbutts]], [[Paul Harrison]] (Assistant Manager)
Front, l-r: [[Paul Ravenscroft]], [[Stephen Connor]], [[Neil Remzi]], [[Garry Smith]] & Josie, Mrs Rainbows, [[Rich Shaw]], [[Graham Gilbert]], [[Lyndon Cowlard]], [[Dave Greenwood]], [[Fred Lowe]]
[img[Team 2006-07|http://photos-a.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v99/49/40/675480657/n675480657_167412_1196.jpg]]
''[[2006-07]]: Minutes before the [[worst defeat|2006-12-04 West Bridgford Albion 6 Fanzines 2]] of the season against [[West Bridgford Albion]] at [[Gresham]]''
Back, l-r: [[Adam Collinson]], [[Jonsy Biernat]], [[Chris Whittaker]], [[Paul Ravenscroft]], [[Lyndon Cowlard]], [[Duncan Richmond]], [[Joe Doorly]]
Front, l-r: [[James Timpson]], [[Neil Remzi]], [[Darren Heithus]], [[Kip Broughton]], [[Stephen Connor]], [[Dave Greenwood]], [[Adrian Jones]]
[img[Team 2007-08|http://photos-e.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v191/49/40/675480657/n675480657_661668_1098.jpg]]
''[[2007-08]]: Prior to a first defeat in twelve games, booted out of the EMPAL Cup Quarter Final by [[GM Olympico|Olympico]]''
Back, l-r: [[John Wood]], [[Adam Collinson]], [[Robertino Todino]], [[Haseley Gordon]], [[Chris Whittaker]], [[Darren Heithus]], [[Gareth Brown]], [[Adrian Jones]], [[Joe Doorly]], [[The Gaffer|Paul Harrison]]
Front, l-r: [[Dan Brown]], [[Antony Morris]], [[Neil Remzi]], [[Graham Gilbert]], [[James Timpson]], [[Dave Greenwood]], [[Rich Shaw]]
[[Fanzines|Fanzines United]] have pitted themselves against some of Nottinghamshire's finest young men over the years, none of whom are listed below:
[[Airport Pathfinder]]
[[Ardley Athletic]]
[[Arnold Longbow]]
[[Benfica]]
[[Bilborough Rockets FC]]
[[Brinsthorpe Rangers]]
[[Brooks Villa]]
[[Burton Joyce A]]
[[Butler Benfica]]
[[Butler United]]
[[Chequers]]
[[Freeman & Mitchell]]
[[Fox and Crown]]
[[Highfield Park Rangers]]
[[Inter Edwalton]]
[[Inter FB]]
[[John Players]]
[[Nevabeen Athletic]]
[[Nottingham High School]]
[[Nottingham Law School]]
[[Nottingham Medics]]
[[Notts Athletic]]
[[Olympico]]
[[Punjab Colts]]
[[Radcliffe Olympic A]]
[[Rosie O'Briens]]
[[Rushcliffe SHR]]
[[Total Reclaims Demolition]]
[[Tubbit United]]
[[Victoria Palace]]
[[West Bridgford Albion]]
[[West End]]
[[Wollaton Pirates]]
A first rate publication, remarkably so when you consider it was about [[Notts County]], and an inspiration to many who jumped on the football fanzine bandwagon in the late 80’s. For some the best in the city, for others not (see [[The Tricky Tree]]). Run by a bunch of vagabonds and rogues, many of whom achieved great notoriety outside of its editorial meetings (see [[Jim Cooke]], [[Tony Mack]], and [[Whiffer Smith]]).
by
[[John Salsbury]]
Having met at 10-00 in Clifton for a fixture against [[Olympico]] we established we had 12 men. I left myself out meaning [[Fairholme|Mark Fairholme]] played right back. Added to the circus was the referee - The Ives from Porridge look-a-like. The first half was a scrappy affair, with them missing three excellent chances, however we took ours in the shape of [[Haseley|Haseley Gordon]] (2) and [[Ady Jones|Adrian Jones]] bagging his long awaited first goal of the season. We went in 3-1 up at half time, yet switched to 4-5-1 in the second half with the aim of retaining more ball. This was done in fits and starts and [[Goalsy|Garry Smith]] and Haseley added further goals on the break. Even at 5-1 up, they were still missing several chances and the score could really have been 5-5, [[Stuart|Stuart Gadsby]] having pulled off a few decent stops.
[[Mr Whittaker|Chris Whittaker]] then suggested I have a run out. I obliged, switching Graham Parker to right back and bringing myself into midfield.
''CARNAGE'' breaks out!
We lose all shape and our defence suddenly resembles a cross between a sieve and knackered watering can. 5-2, 5-3, 5-4. Surely we can last out for the remaining three minutes. A cross is swung in from the right which evades everyone bar Mr Whittaker who connects sublimely on the half volley and from 20 yards finds the top corner! A minute later a defensive mix up means their centre forward walks the ball into an empty net.
Whistle blows. Lost 6-5.
I fully take the blame for this as if I was stood on the sideline I would have changed the shape and gone barking mad, however you get a different perspective when thoroughly unfit and playing. I now understand why Gary Mcallister came 1st in the Observer's up and coming managers category. I have so much respect for him doing two jobs at once!
Bring back [[Sergeant Lowe|Andy Lowe]]!
Another football fanzine from the late 80’s, this one from the red side of The Trent. Some would say the best in the city, some would say not (See [[The Pie]]). While Notts provided the brawn in the initial [[Fanzines United]] X1, Forest provided the brains, or so they would like to think. Editor [[Andy Lowe]] still stays loyal and true to his charges' cause.
The brains behind [[Baldwins Casuals]] and local entrepreneur extraordinaire. If there was a pie to dip your finger into, you could guarantee Tony would have tasted its filling first. The clubs first ever ‘number one’, a position in which he wasn’t helped by not wearing contact lenses even though he’s as blind as a bat without glasses. Well, that was always his excuse anyway. Nowadays to be found propping up the bar in the Test Match while looking for ‘the next big thing’.
Someone mislaid the records...
| !Season | !Goals | !Player |
|[[1990-91]] | |
|[[1991-92]]| |
|[[1992-93]]| |
|[[1993-94]]| |
|[[1994-95]]| |
|[[1995-96]]| |
|[[1996-97]] | 50+ | [[Mike Thomas]] |
|[[1997-98]]| |
|[[1998-99]]| |
|[[1999-00]]| |
|[[2000-01]] | 20+ | [[Neil Remzi]] |
|[[2001-02]] | 14 | [[Neil Remzi]] |
|[[2002-03]] | 11 | [[Graham Gilbert]] |
|[[2003-04]] | 14 | [[Graham Gilbert]] |
|[[2004-05]] | 17 | [[Graham Gilbert]] |
|[[2005-06]] | 31 | [[Stephen Connor]] |
|[[2006-07]] | 22 | [[Stephen Connor]] |
|[[2007-08]] | 12 | [[Gareth Brown]] |
''Home Ground:'' [[Victoria Embankment]]
''Colours:'' Orange
''Team Website:http://www.webteams.co.uk/Home.aspx?team=totalreclaimsdemolitionfc''
''Past Meetings:''
26 Mar 2006 - EMPAL Div Two - Fanzines United (1) 5 Total Reclaims Demolition (0) 3 - Connor 4, Remzi
26 Apr 2006 - EMPAL Div Two - Total Reclaims Demolition (2) 5 v Fanzines United (0) 3 - Connor, Collinson 2
02 Sep 2007 - EMPAL Div One - Fanzines United (1) 2 v Total Reclaims Demolition (0) 0 - Buxton, Heithus
09 Dec 2007 - EMPAL Div One - Total Reclaims Demolition (1) 1 v Fanzines United (1) 2 - Collinson, Greenwood
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"<<upload http://" + config.tiddlyspotSiteId + ".tiddlyspot.com/store.cgi index.html . . " + config.tiddlyspotSiteId + ">><html><a href='http://" + config.tiddlyspotSiteId + ".tiddlyspot.com/download' class='button'>download</a></html>"
].join("\n"),
'TspotOptions':[
"tiddlyspot password:",
"<<option pasUploadPassword>>",
""
].join("\n")
});
//}}}
| !date | !user | !location | !storeUrl | !uploadDir | !toFilename | !backupdir | !origin |
| 23/04/2008 08:08:23 | fanzipedia | [[/|http://fanzipedia.tiddlyspot.com/]] | [[store.cgi|http://fanzipedia.tiddlyspot.com/store.cgi]] | . | [[index.html | http://fanzipedia.tiddlyspot.com/index.html]] | . | ok |
| 23/04/2008 08:27:49 | fanzipedia | [[/|http://fanzipedia.tiddlyspot.com/]] | [[store.cgi|http://fanzipedia.tiddlyspot.com/store.cgi]] | . | [[index.html | http://fanzipedia.tiddlyspot.com/index.html]] | . |
| 12/05/2008 18:33:46 | fanzipedia | [[/|http://fanzipedia.tiddlyspot.com/]] | [[store.cgi|http://fanzipedia.tiddlyspot.com/store.cgi]] | . | [[index.html | http://fanzipedia.tiddlyspot.com/index.html]] | . |
| 12/05/2008 18:57:14 | fanzipedia | [[/|http://fanzipedia.tiddlyspot.com/]] | [[store.cgi|http://fanzipedia.tiddlyspot.com/store.cgi]] | . | [[index.html | http://fanzipedia.tiddlyspot.com/index.html]] | . |
| 21/05/2008 13:37:43 | fanzipedia | [[fanzipedia.html|file:///E:/Stuff/Fanzines/Fanzipedia/fanzipedia.html]] | [[store.cgi|http://fanzipedia.tiddlyspot.com/store.cgi]] | . | [[index.html | http://fanzipedia.tiddlyspot.com/index.html]] | . |
| 03/09/2008 10:51:39 | fanzipedia | [[/|http://fanzipedia.tiddlyspot.com/]] | [[store.cgi|http://fanzipedia.tiddlyspot.com/store.cgi]] | . | [[index.html | http://fanzipedia.tiddlyspot.com/index.html]] | . |
| 30/09/2008 16:07:44 | YourName | [[/|http://fanzipedia.tiddlyspot.com/]] | [[store.cgi|http://fanzipedia.tiddlyspot.com/store.cgi]] | . | [[index.html | http://fanzipedia.tiddlyspot.com/index.html]] | . |
| 15/10/2008 17:04:14 | DJG | [[/|http://fanzipedia.tiddlyspot.com/]] | [[store.cgi|http://fanzipedia.tiddlyspot.com/store.cgi]] | . | [[index.html | http://fanzipedia.tiddlyspot.com/index.html]] | . |
| 15/10/2008 17:19:00 | djg | [[fanzipedia.html|file:///home/dave/Desktop/fanzipedia.html]] | [[store.cgi|http://fanzipedia.tiddlyspot.com/store.cgi]] | . | [[index.html | http://fanzipedia.tiddlyspot.com/index.html]] | . | ok |
| 15/10/2008 17:30:31 | djg | [[fanzipedia.html|file:///home/dave/Desktop/fanzipedia.html]] | [[store.cgi|http://fanzipedia.tiddlyspot.com/store.cgi]] | . | [[index.html | http://fanzipedia.tiddlyspot.com/index.html]] | . |
/***
|''Name:''|PasswordOptionPlugin|
|''Description:''|Extends TiddlyWiki options with non encrypted password option.|
|''Version:''|1.0.2|
|''Date:''|Apr 19, 2007|
|''Source:''|http://tiddlywiki.bidix.info/#PasswordOptionPlugin|
|''Author:''|BidiX (BidiX (at) bidix (dot) info)|
|''License:''|[[BSD open source license|http://tiddlywiki.bidix.info/#%5B%5BBSD%20open%20source%20license%5D%5D ]]|
|''~CoreVersion:''|2.2.0 (Beta 5)|
***/
//{{{
version.extensions.PasswordOptionPlugin = {
major: 1, minor: 0, revision: 2,
date: new Date("Apr 19, 2007"),
source: 'http://tiddlywiki.bidix.info/#PasswordOptionPlugin',
author: 'BidiX (BidiX (at) bidix (dot) info',
license: '[[BSD open source license|http://tiddlywiki.bidix.info/#%5B%5BBSD%20open%20source%20license%5D%5D]]',
coreVersion: '2.2.0 (Beta 5)'
};
config.macros.option.passwordCheckboxLabel = "Save this password on this computer";
config.macros.option.passwordInputType = "password"; // password | text
setStylesheet(".pasOptionInput {width: 11em;}\n","passwordInputTypeStyle");
merge(config.macros.option.types, {
'pas': {
elementType: "input",
valueField: "value",
eventName: "onkeyup",
className: "pasOptionInput",
typeValue: config.macros.option.passwordInputType,
create: function(place,type,opt,className,desc) {
// password field
config.macros.option.genericCreate(place,'pas',opt,className,desc);
// checkbox linked with this password "save this password on this computer"
config.macros.option.genericCreate(place,'chk','chk'+opt,className,desc);
// text savePasswordCheckboxLabel
place.appendChild(document.createTextNode(config.macros.option.passwordCheckboxLabel));
},
onChange: config.macros.option.genericOnChange
}
});
merge(config.optionHandlers['chk'], {
get: function(name) {
// is there an option linked with this chk ?
var opt = name.substr(3);
if (config.options[opt])
saveOptionCookie(opt);
return config.options[name] ? "true" : "false";
}
});
merge(config.optionHandlers, {
'pas': {
get: function(name) {
if (config.options["chk"+name]) {
return encodeCookie(config.options[name].toString());
} else {
return "";
}
},
set: function(name,value) {config.options[name] = decodeCookie(value);}
}
});
// need to reload options to load passwordOptions
loadOptionsCookie();
/*
if (!config.options['pasPassword'])
config.options['pasPassword'] = '';
merge(config.optionsDesc,{
pasPassword: "Test password"
});
*/
//}}}
/***
|''Name:''|UploadPlugin|
|''Description:''|Save to web a TiddlyWiki|
|''Version:''|4.1.0|
|''Date:''|May 5, 2007|
|''Source:''|http://tiddlywiki.bidix.info/#UploadPlugin|
|''Documentation:''|http://tiddlywiki.bidix.info/#UploadPluginDoc|
|''Author:''|BidiX (BidiX (at) bidix (dot) info)|
|''License:''|[[BSD open source license|http://tiddlywiki.bidix.info/#%5B%5BBSD%20open%20source%20license%5D%5D ]]|
|''~CoreVersion:''|2.2.0 (#3125)|
|''Requires:''|PasswordOptionPlugin|
***/
//{{{
version.extensions.UploadPlugin = {
major: 4, minor: 1, revision: 0,
date: new Date("May 5, 2007"),
source: 'http://tiddlywiki.bidix.info/#UploadPlugin',
author: 'BidiX (BidiX (at) bidix (dot) info',
coreVersion: '2.2.0 (#3125)'
};
//
// Environment
//
if (!window.bidix) window.bidix = {}; // bidix namespace
bidix.debugMode = false; // true to activate both in Plugin and UploadService
//
// Upload Macro
//
config.macros.upload = {
// default values
defaultBackupDir: '', //no backup
defaultStoreScript: "store.php",
defaultToFilename: "index.html",
defaultUploadDir: ".",
authenticateUser: true // UploadService Authenticate User
};
config.macros.upload.label = {
promptOption: "Save and Upload this TiddlyWiki with UploadOptions",
promptParamMacro: "Save and Upload this TiddlyWiki in %0",
saveLabel: "save to web",
saveToDisk: "save to disk",
uploadLabel: "upload"
};
config.macros.upload.messages = {
noStoreUrl: "No store URL in parmeters or options",
usernameOrPasswordMissing: "Username or password missing"
};
config.macros.upload.handler = function(place,macroName,params) {
if (readOnly)
return;
var label;
if (document.location.toString().substr(0,4) == "http")
label = this.label.saveLabel;
else
label = this.label.uploadLabel;
var prompt;
if (params[0]) {
prompt = this.label.promptParamMacro.toString().format([this.destFile(params[0],
(params[1] ? params[1]:bidix.basename(window.location.toString())), params[3])]);
} else {
prompt = this.label.promptOption;
}
createTiddlyButton(place, label, prompt, function() {config.macros.upload.action(params);}, null, null, this.accessKey);
};
config.macros.upload.action = function(params)
{
// for missing macro parameter set value from options
var storeUrl = params[0] ? params[0] : config.options.txtUploadStoreUrl;
var toFilename = params[1] ? params[1] : config.options.txtUploadFilename;
var backupDir = params[2] ? params[2] : config.options.txtUploadBackupDir;
var uploadDir = params[3] ? params[3] : config.options.txtUploadDir;
var username = params[4] ? params[4] : config.options.txtUploadUserName;
var password = config.options.pasUploadPassword; // for security reason no password as macro parameter
// for still missing parameter set default value
if ((!storeUrl) && (document.location.toString().substr(0,4) == "http"))
storeUrl = bidix.dirname(document.location.toString())+'/'+config.macros.upload.defaultStoreScript;
if (storeUrl.substr(0,4) != "http")
storeUrl = bidix.dirname(document.location.toString()) +'/'+ storeUrl;
if (!toFilename)
toFilename = bidix.basename(window.location.toString());
if (!toFilename)
toFilename = config.macros.upload.defaultToFilename;
if (!uploadDir)
uploadDir = config.macros.upload.defaultUploadDir;
if (!backupDir)
backupDir = config.macros.upload.defaultBackupDir;
// report error if still missing
if (!storeUrl) {
alert(config.macros.upload.messages.noStoreUrl);
clearMessage();
return false;
}
if (config.macros.upload.authenticateUser && (!username || !password)) {
alert(config.macros.upload.messages.usernameOrPasswordMissing);
clearMessage();
return false;
}
bidix.upload.uploadChanges(false,null,storeUrl, toFilename, uploadDir, backupDir, username, password);
return false;
};
config.macros.upload.destFile = function(storeUrl, toFilename, uploadDir)
{
if (!storeUrl)
return null;
var dest = bidix.dirname(storeUrl);
if (uploadDir && uploadDir != '.')
dest = dest + '/' + uploadDir;
dest = dest + '/' + toFilename;
return dest;
};
//
// uploadOptions Macro
//
config.macros.uploadOptions = {
handler: function(place,macroName,params) {
var wizard = new Wizard();
wizard.createWizard(place,this.wizardTitle);
wizard.addStep(this.step1Title,this.step1Html);
var markList = wizard.getElement("markList");
var listWrapper = document.createElement("div");
markList.parentNode.insertBefore(listWrapper,markList);
wizard.setValue("listWrapper",listWrapper);
this.refreshOptions(listWrapper,false);
var uploadCaption;
if (document.location.toString().substr(0,4) == "http")
uploadCaption = config.macros.upload.label.saveLabel;
else
uploadCaption = config.macros.upload.label.uploadLabel;
wizard.setButtons([
{caption: uploadCaption, tooltip: config.macros.upload.label.promptOption,
onClick: config.macros.upload.action},
{caption: this.cancelButton, tooltip: this.cancelButtonPrompt, onClick: this.onCancel}
]);
},
refreshOptions: function(listWrapper) {
var uploadOpts = [
"txtUploadUserName",
"pasUploadPassword",
"txtUploadStoreUrl",
"txtUploadDir",
"txtUploadFilename",
"txtUploadBackupDir",
"chkUploadLog",
"txtUploadLogMaxLine",
]
var opts = [];
for(i=0; i<uploadOpts.length; i++) {
var opt = {};
opts.push()
opt.option = "";
n = uploadOpts[i];
opt.name = n;
opt.lowlight = !config.optionsDesc[n];
opt.description = opt.lowlight ? this.unknownDescription : config.optionsDesc[n];
opts.push(opt);
}
var listview = ListView.create(listWrapper,opts,this.listViewTemplate);
for(n=0; n<opts.length; n++) {
var type = opts[n].name.substr(0,3);
var h = config.macros.option.types[type];
if (h && h.create) {
h.create(opts[n].colElements['option'],type,opts[n].name,opts[n].name,"no");
}
}
},
onCancel: function(e)
{
backstage.switchTab(null);
return false;
},
wizardTitle: "Upload with options",
step1Title: "These options are saved in cookies in your browser",
step1Html: "<input type='hidden' name='markList'></input><br>",
cancelButton: "Cancel",
cancelButtonPrompt: "Cancel prompt",
listViewTemplate: {
columns: [
{name: 'Description', field: 'description', title: "Description", type: 'WikiText'},
{name: 'Option', field: 'option', title: "Option", type: 'String'},
{name: 'Name', field: 'name', title: "Name", type: 'String'}
],
rowClasses: [
{className: 'lowlight', field: 'lowlight'}
]}
}
//
// upload functions
//
if (!bidix.upload) bidix.upload = {};
if (!bidix.upload.messages) bidix.upload.messages = {
//from saving
invalidFileError: "The original file '%0' does not appear to be a valid TiddlyWiki",
backupSaved: "Backup saved",
backupFailed: "Failed to upload backup file",
rssSaved: "RSS feed uploaded",
rssFailed: "Failed to upload RSS feed file",
emptySaved: "Empty template uploaded",
emptyFailed: "Failed to upload empty template file",
mainSaved: "Main TiddlyWiki file uploaded",
mainFailed: "Failed to upload main TiddlyWiki file. Your changes have not been saved",
//specific upload
loadOriginalHttpPostError: "Can't get original file",
aboutToSaveOnHttpPost: 'About to upload on %0 ...',
storePhpNotFound: "The store script '%0' was not found."
};
bidix.upload.uploadChanges = function(onlyIfDirty,tiddlers,storeUrl,toFilename,uploadDir,backupDir,username,password)
{
var callback = function(status,uploadParams,original,url,xhr) {
if (!status) {
displayMessage(bidix.upload.messages.loadOriginalHttpPostError);
return;
}
if (bidix.debugMode)
alert(original.substr(0,500)+"\n...");
// Locate the storeArea div's
var posDiv = locateStoreArea(original);
if((posDiv[0] == -1) || (posDiv[1] == -1)) {
alert(config.messages.invalidFileError.format([localPath]));
return;
}
bidix.upload.uploadRss(uploadParams,original,posDiv);
};
if(onlyIfDirty && !store.isDirty())
return;
clearMessage();
// save on localdisk ?
if (document.location.toString().substr(0,4) == "file") {
var path = document.location.toString();
var localPath = getLocalPath(path);
saveChanges();
}
// get original
var uploadParams = Array(storeUrl,toFilename,uploadDir,backupDir,username,password);
var originalPath = document.location.toString();
// If url is a directory : add index.html
if (originalPath.charAt(originalPath.length-1) == "/")
originalPath = originalPath + "index.html";
var dest = config.macros.upload.destFile(storeUrl,toFilename,uploadDir);
var log = new bidix.UploadLog();
log.startUpload(storeUrl, dest, uploadDir, backupDir);
displayMessage(bidix.upload.messages.aboutToSaveOnHttpPost.format([dest]));
if (bidix.debugMode)
alert("about to execute Http - GET on "+originalPath);
var r = doHttp("GET",originalPath,null,null,null,null,callback,uploadParams,null);
if (typeof r == "string")
displayMessage(r);
return r;
};
bidix.upload.uploadRss = function(uploadParams,original,posDiv)
{
var callback = function(status,params,responseText,url,xhr) {
if(status) {
var destfile = responseText.substring(responseText.indexOf("destfile:")+9,responseText.indexOf("\n", responseText.indexOf("destfile:")));
displayMessage(bidix.upload.messages.rssSaved,bidix.dirname(url)+'/'+destfile);
bidix.upload.uploadMain(params[0],params[1],params[2]);
} else {
displayMessage(bidix.upload.messages.rssFailed);
}
};
// do uploadRss
if(config.options.chkGenerateAnRssFeed) {
var rssPath = uploadParams[1].substr(0,uploadParams[1].lastIndexOf(".")) + ".xml";
var rssUploadParams = Array(uploadParams[0],rssPath,uploadParams[2],'',uploadParams[4],uploadParams[5]);
bidix.upload.httpUpload(rssUploadParams,convertUnicodeToUTF8(generateRss()),callback,Array(uploadParams,original,posDiv));
} else {
bidix.upload.uploadMain(uploadParams,original,posDiv);
}
};
bidix.upload.uploadMain = function(uploadParams,original,posDiv)
{
var callback = function(status,params,responseText,url,xhr) {
var log = new bidix.UploadLog();
if(status) {
// if backupDir specified
if ((params[3]) && (responseText.indexOf("backupfile:") > -1)) {
var backupfile = responseText.substring(responseText.indexOf("backupfile:")+11,responseText.indexOf("\n", responseText.indexOf("backupfile:")));
displayMessage(bidix.upload.messages.backupSaved,bidix.dirname(url)+'/'+backupfile);
}
var destfile = responseText.substring(responseText.indexOf("destfile:")+9,responseText.indexOf("\n", responseText.indexOf("destfile:")));
displayMessage(bidix.upload.messages.mainSaved,bidix.dirname(url)+'/'+destfile);
store.setDirty(false);
log.endUpload("ok");
} else {
alert(bidix.upload.messages.mainFailed);
displayMessage(bidix.upload.messages.mainFailed);
log.endUpload("failed");
}
};
// do uploadMain
var revised = bidix.upload.updateOriginal(original,posDiv);
bidix.upload.httpUpload(uploadParams,revised,callback,uploadParams);
};
bidix.upload.httpUpload = function(uploadParams,data,callback,params)
{
var localCallback = function(status,params,responseText,url,xhr) {
url = (url.indexOf("nocache=") < 0 ? url : url.substring(0,url.indexOf("nocache=")-1));
if (xhr.status == httpStatus.NotFound)
alert(bidix.upload.messages.storePhpNotFound.format([url]));
if ((bidix.debugMode) || (responseText.indexOf("Debug mode") >= 0 )) {
alert(responseText);
if (responseText.indexOf("Debug mode") >= 0 )
responseText = responseText.substring(responseText.indexOf("\n\n")+2);
} else if (responseText.charAt(0) != '0')
alert(responseText);
if (responseText.charAt(0) != '0')
status = null;
callback(status,params,responseText,url,xhr);
};
// do httpUpload
var boundary = "---------------------------"+"AaB03x";
var uploadFormName = "UploadPlugin";
// compose headers data
var sheader = "";
sheader += "--" + boundary + "\r\nContent-disposition: form-data; name=\"";
sheader += uploadFormName +"\"\r\n\r\n";
sheader += "backupDir="+uploadParams[3] +
";user=" + uploadParams[4] +
";password=" + uploadParams[5] +
";uploaddir=" + uploadParams[2];
if (bidix.debugMode)
sheader += ";debug=1";
sheader += ";;\r\n";
sheader += "\r\n" + "--" + boundary + "\r\n";
sheader += "Content-disposition: form-data; name=\"userfile\"; filename=\""+uploadParams[1]+"\"\r\n";
sheader += "Content-Type: text/html;charset=UTF-8" + "\r\n";
sheader += "Content-Length: " + data.length + "\r\n\r\n";
// compose trailer data
var strailer = new String();
strailer = "\r\n--" + boundary + "--\r\n";
data = sheader + data + strailer;
if (bidix.debugMode) alert("about to execute Http - POST on "+uploadParams[0]+"\n with \n"+data.substr(0,500)+ " ... ");
var r = doHttp("POST",uploadParams[0],data,"multipart/form-data; boundary="+boundary,uploadParams[4],uploadParams[5],localCallback,params,null);
if (typeof r == "string")
displayMessage(r);
return r;
};
// same as Saving's updateOriginal but without convertUnicodeToUTF8 calls
bidix.upload.updateOriginal = function(original, posDiv)
{
if (!posDiv)
posDiv = locateStoreArea(original);
if((posDiv[0] == -1) || (posDiv[1] == -1)) {
alert(config.messages.invalidFileError.format([localPath]));
return;
}
var revised = original.substr(0,posDiv[0] + startSaveArea.length) + "\n" +
store.allTiddlersAsHtml() + "\n" +
original.substr(posDiv[1]);
var newSiteTitle = getPageTitle().htmlEncode();
revised = revised.replaceChunk("<title"+">","</title"+">"," " + newSiteTitle + " ");
revised = updateMarkupBlock(revised,"PRE-HEAD","MarkupPreHead");
revised = updateMarkupBlock(revised,"POST-HEAD","MarkupPostHead");
revised = updateMarkupBlock(revised,"PRE-BODY","MarkupPreBody");
revised = updateMarkupBlock(revised,"POST-SCRIPT","MarkupPostBody");
return revised;
};
//
// UploadLog
//
// config.options.chkUploadLog :
// false : no logging
// true : logging
// config.options.txtUploadLogMaxLine :
// -1 : no limit
// 0 : no Log lines but UploadLog is still in place
// n : the last n lines are only kept
// NaN : no limit (-1)
bidix.UploadLog = function() {
if (!config.options.chkUploadLog)
return; // this.tiddler = null
this.tiddler = store.getTiddler("UploadLog");
if (!this.tiddler) {
this.tiddler = new Tiddler();
this.tiddler.title = "UploadLog";
this.tiddler.text = "| !date | !user | !location | !storeUrl | !uploadDir | !toFilename | !backupdir | !origin |";
this.tiddler.created = new Date();
this.tiddler.modifier = config.options.txtUserName;
this.tiddler.modified = new Date();
store.addTiddler(this.tiddler);
}
return this;
};
bidix.UploadLog.prototype.addText = function(text) {
if (!this.tiddler)
return;
// retrieve maxLine when we need it
var maxLine = parseInt(config.options.txtUploadLogMaxLine,10);
if (isNaN(maxLine))
maxLine = -1;
// add text
if (maxLine != 0)
this.tiddler.text = this.tiddler.text + text;
// Trunck to maxLine
if (maxLine >= 0) {
var textArray = this.tiddler.text.split('\n');
if (textArray.length > maxLine + 1)
textArray.splice(1,textArray.length-1-maxLine);
this.tiddler.text = textArray.join('\n');
}
// update tiddler fields
this.tiddler.modifier = config.options.txtUserName;
this.tiddler.modified = new Date();
store.addTiddler(this.tiddler);
// refresh and notifiy for immediate update
story.refreshTiddler(this.tiddler.title);
store.notify(this.tiddler.title, true);
};
bidix.UploadLog.prototype.startUpload = function(storeUrl, toFilename, uploadDir, backupDir) {
if (!this.tiddler)
return;
var now = new Date();
var text = "\n| ";
var filename = bidix.basename(document.location.toString());
if (!filename) filename = '/';
text += now.formatString("0DD/0MM/YYYY 0hh:0mm:0ss") +" | ";
text += config.options.txtUserName + " | ";
text += "[["+filename+"|"+location + "]] |";
text += " [[" + bidix.basename(storeUrl) + "|" + storeUrl + "]] | ";
text += uploadDir + " | ";
text += "[[" + bidix.basename(toFilename) + " | " +toFilename + "]] | ";
text += backupDir + " |";
this.addText(text);
};
bidix.UploadLog.prototype.endUpload = function(status) {
if (!this.tiddler)
return;
this.addText(" "+status+" |");
};
//
// Utilities
//
bidix.checkPlugin = function(plugin, major, minor, revision) {
var ext = version.extensions[plugin];
if (!
(ext &&
((ext.major > major) ||
((ext.major == major) && (ext.minor > minor)) ||
((ext.major == major) && (ext.minor == minor) && (ext.revision >= revision))))) {
// write error in PluginManager
if (pluginInfo)
pluginInfo.log.push("Requires " + plugin + " " + major + "." + minor + "." + revision);
eval(plugin); // generate an error : "Error: ReferenceError: xxxx is not defined"
}
};
bidix.dirname = function(filePath) {
if (!filePath)
return;
var lastpos;
if ((lastpos = filePath.lastIndexOf("/")) != -1) {
return filePath.substring(0, lastpos);
} else {
return filePath.substring(0, filePath.lastIndexOf("\\"));
}
};
bidix.basename = function(filePath) {
if (!filePath)
return;
var lastpos;
if ((lastpos = filePath.lastIndexOf("#")) != -1)
filePath = filePath.substring(0, lastpos);
if ((lastpos = filePath.lastIndexOf("/")) != -1) {
return filePath.substring(lastpos + 1);
} else
return filePath.substring(filePath.lastIndexOf("\\")+1);
};
bidix.initOption = function(name,value) {
if (!config.options[name])
config.options[name] = value;
};
//
// Initializations
//
// require PasswordOptionPlugin 1.0.1 or better
bidix.checkPlugin("PasswordOptionPlugin", 1, 0, 1);
// styleSheet
setStylesheet('.txtUploadStoreUrl, .txtUploadBackupDir, .txtUploadDir {width: 22em;}',"uploadPluginStyles");
//optionsDesc
merge(config.optionsDesc,{
txtUploadStoreUrl: "Url of the UploadService script (default: store.php)",
txtUploadFilename: "Filename of the uploaded file (default: in index.html)",
txtUploadDir: "Relative Directory where to store the file (default: . (downloadService directory))",
txtUploadBackupDir: "Relative Directory where to backup the file. If empty no backup. (default: ''(empty))",
txtUploadUserName: "Upload Username",
pasUploadPassword: "Upload Password",
chkUploadLog: "do Logging in UploadLog (default: true)",
txtUploadLogMaxLine: "Maximum of lines in UploadLog (default: 10)"
});
// Options Initializations
bidix.initOption('txtUploadStoreUrl','');
bidix.initOption('txtUploadFilename','');
bidix.initOption('txtUploadDir','');
bidix.initOption('txtUploadBackupDir','');
bidix.initOption('txtUploadUserName','');
bidix.initOption('pasUploadPassword','');
bidix.initOption('chkUploadLog',true);
bidix.initOption('txtUploadLogMaxLine','10');
/* don't want this for tiddlyspot sites
// Backstage
merge(config.tasks,{
uploadOptions: {text: "upload", tooltip: "Change UploadOptions and Upload", content: '<<uploadOptions>>'}
});
config.backstageTasks.push("uploadOptions");
*/
//}}}
[>img[Walk Tall|http://fanzines.intheteam.com/site/images/9271/legends_Gary%20'Walk%20Tall'%20Johnson.JPG]]
A true legend. In three seasons at the club he barely said a word. Just turned up, frustrated the opposition and went home. Never known by any other name except Walk Tall - well he was about eight feet from top to toe. Once got so bored during a game against [[Arnold Longbow]] he took a pair of stepladders onto the pitch and sat on them (trust me, I’m not making this up). The opposition were not amused, and neither was the ref who booked him for ungentlemanly conduct. Also dislocated two fingers saving a penalty against [[Airport Pathfinder]] and, while [[Andy|Andy Lowe]] looked on close to throwing up (Andy - I’m no wuss but the skin was split and you could see the bone!), took off his gloves, put the offending digits back in place and carried on with the game.
The Fanzipedia is a ~TiddlyWiki from tiddlyspot.com. A ~TiddlyWiki is an electronic notebook that is great for managing todo lists, personal information, and all sorts of things.
@@font-weight:bold;font-size:1.3em;color:#444; //What now?// @@ Before you can save any changes, you need to enter your password in the form below.
<<tiddler TspotControls>>
@@font-weight:bold;font-size:1.3em;color:#444; //Working online// @@ You can edit this ~TiddlyWiki right now, and save your changes using the "save to web" button in the column on the right.
@@font-weight:bold;font-size:1.3em;color:#444; //Working offline// @@ A fully functioning copy of this ~TiddlyWiki can be saved onto your hard drive or USB stick. You can make changes and save them locally without being connected to the Internet. When you're ready to sync up again, just click "upload" and your ~TiddlyWiki will be saved back to tiddlyspot.com.
''Home Ground:'' [[Gresham]], [[Farnborough Road]]
''Colours:'' Red and Black
''Team Website: http://www.clubwebsite.co.uk/westbridgfordalbionfc/''
''Home Ground:'' [[Nuthall]]
''Colours:'' Black & White
''Team Website:'' http://www.freewebs.com/westendfc/
''Past Meetings:''
03 Sep 2006 - EMPAL Div One - Fanzines Utd (1) 2 v West End (0) 0 - Connor 2
17 Dec 2006 - EMPAL Div One - West End (1) 2 v Fanzines United (1) 2 - Remzi, Connor
30 Sep 2007 - EMPAL Div One - West End (1) 2 v Fanzines United (2) 2 - Heithus 2
21 Oct 2007 - EMPAL Div One - Fanzines United (0) 0 v West End (0) 1
[img[West End|http://www.freewebs.com/westendfc/2ECADAD2-47CA-44D8-A53B2E041A7C43D5.jpg]]
Looked as far removed from the stereotypical idea of a footballer as it is almost possible to do, yet as a centre half he was as fearsome an opponent as you could come up against. Not that his ability with the ball had much to do with it, he was just fearsome. False teeth, a belly that paid full homage to Home Ales and hair that hadn’t seen a brush never mind a barber since Queen Victoria was on the throne. Add to that a penchant to light up a fag during the game if the fancy took him and you begin to see why that if Wiff said it was his ball, it was HIS ball.
Based on the [[Broxtowe Estate]], this team made up of young offenders was the brainchild of their youth worker who thought it would be a good idea to give them something else to focus their energies on. Last seen waiting outside the flat of [[John Holt]] with baseball bats after being thrown out of the [[Notts Friendly League|NFFL]] (oh, the irony) for one too many mid-game punch ups. A truly obnoxious bunch of lads, they’re probably all politicians and judges by now.
''Home Ground:''
''Colours:'' Blue
''Team Website: http://www.wollatonpirates.co.uk/
As worn by both [[Jon Poole]] and [[Andy Lowe]] back in the day when contact lenses were for the rich and talented. Led to a hilarious rendition of The Proclaimers ‘Letter from America’ by two spectators one Sunday morning at [[Grove Farm]].
Type the text for 'systemConfig'