Welcome to TiddlyWiki created by Jeremy Ruston, Copyright © 2007 UnaMesa Association
Notts Friendly League
|!Pos | !Team | !Pl | !W | !D | !L | !F | !A | !GD | !Pts |
|1| |||||||||
|2| |||||||||
|3| |||||||||
|4| |||||||||
|5| |||||||||
|6| |||||||||
|7| |||||||||
|8| |||||||||
|9| |||||||||
|10| |||||||||
|11| |||||||||
|12| |||||||||
Notts Friendly League
|!Pos | !Team | !Pl | !W | !D | !L | !F | !A | !GD | !Pts |
|1| |||||||||
|2| |||||||||
|3| |||||||||
|4| |||||||||
|5| |||||||||
|6| |||||||||
|7| |||||||||
|8| |||||||||
|9| |||||||||
|10| |||||||||
|11| |||||||||
|12| |||||||||
Notts Friendly League
|!Pos | !Team | !Pl | !W | !D | !L | !F | !A | !GD | !Pts |
|1| |||||||||
|2| |||||||||
|3| |||||||||
|4| |||||||||
|5| |||||||||
|6| |||||||||
|7| |||||||||
|8| |||||||||
|9| |||||||||
|10| |||||||||
|11| |||||||||
|12| |||||||||
Notts Friendly League
|!Pos | !Team | !Pl | !W | !D | !L | !F | !A | !GD | !Pts |
|1| |||||||||
|2| |||||||||
|3| |||||||||
|4| |||||||||
|5| |||||||||
|6| |||||||||
|7| |||||||||
|8| |||||||||
|9| |||||||||
|10| |||||||||
|11| |||||||||
|12| |||||||||
Notts Friendly League
|!Pos | !Team | !Pl | !W | !D | !L | !F | !A | !GD | !Pts |
|1| |||||||||
|2| |||||||||
|3| |||||||||
|4| |||||||||
|5| |||||||||
|6| |||||||||
|7| |||||||||
|8| |||||||||
|9| |||||||||
|10| |||||||||
|11| |||||||||
|12| |||||||||
EMPAL Division 2
|!Pos | !Team | !Pl | !W | !D | !L | !F | !A | !GD | !Pts |
|1|Compton Athletic |||||||||
|2| |||||||||
|3| |||||||||
|4| |||||||||
|5| |||||||||
|6| |||||||||
|7| |||||||||
|8| |||||||||
|9| |||||||||
|10| |||||||||
|11| |||||||||
|12| |||||||||
Pos ? Pl 22 W 8 D 4 L 10 GF 40 GA 42 Pts 28
''EMPAL Division 2''
|!Pos | !Team | !Pl | !W| !D | !L| !F|!A|!GD|!Pts|
|1| [[Fanzines United]] | 26 | 21 |4|1|114|37|83|67|
|2| Pinewood Studios |26 |19|5|2|94|26|68|62|
|3| The Park | 26|20|2|4|80|28|52|62|
|4| Oakleigh Lodge |26|17|2|7|78|58|20|53|
|5| Castlemeadow |26|16|4|6|72|45|27|52|
|6| [[FC Olympico|Olympico]] |26|11|6|9|81|72|9|39|
|7| Apple Tree |26|9|5|12|54|90|-26|32|
|8| NRA |26|9|1|16|54|90|-36|28|
|9| CCN Sports |26|8|1|14|46|60|-14|25|
|10| [[Highfield Park Rangers]] |26|7|1|17|35|69|-34|22|
|11| West Notts Union |26|6|2|18|47|74|-27|20|
|12| Royal Children |26|6|2|17|44|91|-47|20|
|13| [[Nottingham Medics]] |26|5|4|17|34|89|-55|19|
|14| Kinoulton |26|5|3|18|46|59|-13|18|
EMPAL Division 1
|!Pos | !Team | !Pl | !W | !D | !L | !F | !A | !GD | !Pts |
|1|Nottingham Alumni |||||||||
|2| |||||||||
|3| |||||||||
|4| |||||||||
|5| |||||||||
|6| |||||||||
|7| |||||||||
|8| |||||||||
|9| |||||||||
|10| |||||||||
|11| |||||||||
|12| |||||||||
EMPAL Division 1
|!Pos | !Team | !Pl | !W | !D | !L | !F | !A | !GD | !Pts |
|1|Nottingham Alumni |||||||||
|2| |||||||||
|3| |||||||||
|4| |||||||||
|5| |||||||||
|6| |||||||||
|7| |||||||||
|8| |||||||||
|9| |||||||||
|10| |||||||||
|11| |||||||||
|12| |||||||||
EMPAL Division 2
|!Pos | !Team | !Pl | !W | !D | !L | !F | !A | !GD | !Pts |
|1| [[West Notts]] |||||||||
|2| |||||||||
|3| |||||||||
|4| |||||||||
|5| |||||||||
|6| |||||||||
|7| |||||||||
|8| |||||||||
|9| |||||||||
|10| |||||||||
|11| |||||||||
|12| |||||||||
EMPAL Division 2
|!Pos | !Team | !Pl | !W | !D | !L | !F | !A | !GD | !Pts |
|1| [[Rosie O'Briens]] |||||||||
|2| |||||||||
|3| |||||||||
|4| |||||||||
|5| |||||||||
|6| |||||||||
|7| |||||||||
|8| |||||||||
|9| |||||||||
|10| |||||||||
|11| |||||||||
|12| |||||||||
EMPAL Division 2
|!Pos | !Team | !Pl | !W | !D | !L | !F | !A | !GD | !Pts |
|1| [[West End]] |||||||||
|2| |||||||||
|3| |||||||||
|4| [[Fanzines United]] |20|10|1|9|45|45|0|31|
|5| |||||||||
|6| |||||||||
|7| |||||||||
|8| |||||||||
|9| |||||||||
|10| |||||||||
|11| |||||||||
|12| |||||||||
EMPAL Division 2
|!Pos | !Team | !Pl | !W | !D | !L | !F | !A | !GD | !Pts |
|1| [[West Bridgford Albion]] |||||||||
|2| |||||||||
|3| |||||||||
|4| |||||||||
|5| |||||||||
|6| [[Fanzines United]] |||||||||
|7| |||||||||
|8| |||||||||
|9| |||||||||
|10| |||||||||
|11| |||||||||
|12| |||||||||
EMPAL Division 2
|!Pos | !Team | !Pl | !W | !D | !L | !F | !A | !GD | !Pts |
|1| [[Victoria Palace]] |||||||||
|2| |||||||||
|3| |||||||||
|4| |||||||||
|5| |||||||||
|6| |||||||||
|7| |||||||||
|8| |||||||||
|9| |||||||||
|10| |||||||||
|11| |||||||||
|12| |||||||||
Fanzines finished just outside of the promotion frame. Needing to win our last game of the season to ensure promotion we lost out to [[Notts Athletic]] who came away from [[Gresham]] with a 1-0 victory. Although another season in Division 2 beckoned, Fanzines had shown great improvements and were really looking like a side ready for top flight football...could [[2005-06]] bring better luck?
[[Match Reports 2004-05]]
[[Player of the Year|Ian Swanton Trophy]]: [[Graham Gilbert]]
''[[Top Goalscorer]]'': ''17'' [[Graham Gilbert]]
''@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;EMPAL Division 2@@''
|!Pos | !Team | !Pl | !W| !D | !L| !F|!A|!GD|!Pts|
|1| [[Pheasant Inn]] | 16|9|3|4|36|27|9|30|
|2| [[Notts Athletic]] |16 |9|1|6|39|35|4|28|
|3| [[Chequers]] | 16|8|1|7|27|24|3|25|
|4| [[Inter FB]] |16| 7|3|6|39|38|1|24|
|5| [[FC Olympico|Olympico]] |16|7|2|7|44|40|4|23|
|6| [[Fanzines United]] |16|6|5|5|27|26|1|23|
|7| [[Butler United]] |16|5|5|6|37|33|4|20|
|8| [[Ardley Athletic]] | 16|6|0|10|43|37|6|18|
|9| [[Brooks Villa]] |16|4|2|10|33|53|-20|14|
''@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;Players Stats@@''
| !Player | !Apps | !Goals |
| [[Chris Whittaker]] | 20 | 6 |
| [[Lyndon Cowlard]] | 19 | 0 |
| [[Graham Gilbert]] | 19 | 17 |
| [[Dave Greenwood]] | 19 | 2 |
| [[Adrian Jones]] | 17 | 0 |
| [[Garry Smith]] | 17 | 7 |
| [[Fred Lowe]] | 16 | 0 |
| [[Paul Ravenscroft]] | 16 | 1 |
| [[Kip Broughton]] | 13 | 0 |
| [[Rich Shaw]] | 13 | 0 |
| [[James Timpson]] | 13 | 1 |
| [[Gareth Sowerbutts]] | 12 | 0 |
| [[Duncan Richmond]] | 9 | 2 |
| [[Dan Brown]] | 8 | 3 |
| [[Stuart Gadsby]] | 8 | 0 |
| [[Courtney Nangle]] | 8 | 0 |
| [[Darren Heithus]] | 5 | 5 |
| [[Stephen Connor]] | 1 | 0 |
| [[Paul Harrison]] | 1 | 0 |
| [[Ali Larman]] | 1 | 0 |
''@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;Results@@''
| !Date | !Competition | !Opposition | !Score | !Result | !H/A | !Venue | !Scorers |
| 19/09/04 | EMPAL Div2 | Keyworth Plough | 2-5 | L | H | [[Gresham]] |Smith, Whittaker |
| 03/10/04 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Chequers]] | 3-1 | W | A | [[Cropwell Butler]] |Gilbert 2, Richmond |
| 10/10/04 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Butler United]] | 1-1 | D | H | [[Gresham]] |Gilbert |
| 17/10/04 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Inter FB]] | 1-3 | L | A | [[Highfields]] |Brown D |
| 31/10/04 | [[EMPAL Cup]] | Kellys NTL | 4-0 | W | H | [[Gresham]] |Whittaker 2, Heithus 2 |
| 07/11/04 | EMPAL Div2 | [[FC Olympico|Olympico]] | 2-2 | D | A | [[Farnborough Road]] |Gilbert 2 |
| 14/11/04 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Brooks Villa]] | 2-1 | W | A | [[Chilwell Olympia]] |Gilbert, Smith |
| 21/11/04 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Inter FB]] | 2-2 | D | H | [[Gresham]] |Gilbert, Heithus |
| 28/11/04 | EMPAL Div2 | Rose & Crown | 7-0 | W | A | [[Alford Road]] |Gilbert 3, Greenwood, Smith, Brown D, Richmond |
| 05/12/04 | EMPAL Div2 | Euro Sports Bar | 2-2 | D | H | [[Gresham]] |Whittaker, Heithus |
| 12/12/04 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Notts Athletic]] | 0-1 | L | A | [[Alford Road]] | |
| 09/01/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Chequers]] | 1-1 | D | H | [[Gresham]] |Gilbert |
| 16/01/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Butler United]] | 2-1 | W | A | [[Cropwell Butler]] |Timpson, Smith |
| 23/01/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Brooks Villa]] | 7-1 | W | H | [[Gresham]] |Ravenscroft, Gilbert 2, Whittaker, Smith 2, Brown D |
| 30/01/05 | [[EMPAL Cup]] | [[Fox & Crown]] | 2-4 | L | H | [[Gresham]] |Gilbert, Greenwood |
| 06/02/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Ardley Athletic]] | 0-4 | L | A | [[Highfields]] | |
| 20/02/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Pheasant Inn]] | 2-1 | W | A | [[The Forest]] |Smith, Gilbert |
| 03/03/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Pheasant Inn]] | 2-2 | D | H | [[Gresham]] |Whittaker, Heithus|
| 10/03/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[FC Olympico|Olympico]] | 0-3 | L | H | [[Gresham]] | |
| 17/03/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Ardley Athletic]] | 2-1 | W | H | [[Gresham]] |Gilbert 2 |
| 24/03/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Notts Athletic]] | 0-1 | L | H | [[Gresham]] | |
''@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;Season Review@@''
[[Andy Lowe]]
When I first popped into [[Selectadisc]] all those years ago to see [[Jim Cooke]] and discuss the formation of a Sunday morning football team little did I realise what a big part it would go on to play in my life. Fifteen years on and I'm still involved which is not much short of a life sentence, except this is one I can honestly say it's been a pleasure to serve. I have many cherished memories and consider myself fortunate to have played alongside and now manage players who have genuinely made me want to get out of bed on a Sunday morning. I also consider myself lucky to be able to call the vast majority of those I have met through my involvement with the club friends. I think it's fair to say that there's a special bond that develops between any team that plays together for a length of time and experiences success and failure. The Old Boys had it and the current band of Fanzines players are carrying on in the same tradition. I may have the title 'manager' but to be honest it's a nominal one. You're only as good as the players you have at your disposal. There's no doubt that Fanzines wouldn't have come within one game of promotion this past season if the current crop of players weren't as good as they are. Honest, skilful, hard working and totally committed. I couldn't fault their endeavour last season and I was gutted when the result in that last game of the season decider went against us. Gutted because I couldn't have asked any more from any player and I believed they deserved something tangible for their efforts. But I also felt proud because we came so close by playing football that by Sunday morning standards was sometimes a joy to watch. And it's no accident we've won [[EMPAL's|EMPAL]] Fair Play Award for two of the past three seasons. Opponents know that when they play against us they will have a tough game, but it will be a fair and enjoyable one. Referees often make a point of thanking me after a game, saying they look forward to the next time they're in charge of one of our games. Standing on the sidelines when you'd rather be out on the pitch is terribly frustrating but accolades like those just mentioned make it that much more bearable. And who knows, with a bit more luck and a few less injuries, next season might just be the one when a Fanzines team returns to EMPAL's top flight.
Fanzines United 4 Kellys NTL 0
EMPAL Cup 2nd Round
31st October 2004
A victory as comfortable as the scoreline suggests but one achieved without the overall level of performance being anywhere near as good as it has been over recent weeks. A lackadaisical approach prior to kick-off manifested itself in a first half performance which had both Lowe and Harrison adding to their grey hairs despite headed goals from Whitts and Daz.
A half-time blast from The Gaffer saw an improved second half display with both first half scorers doubling their tally in the second half. Whitts met a pin-point corner from Dan at the far post to join Graham Gilbert at the top of the club scoring charts while Daz’s second was a spectacular drive into the roof of the net from outside the box in the final minutes. Jonesy would, I’m sure, like it to be known that he added a further two assists to his impressive tally for the season - it’s just a pity that it’s only the Americans who bother with such things. The aforementioned Gilbert was in an unusually charitable mood in front of goal, taking pity on spirited and hard working but ultimately lacking opponents by missing a hatful of chances. One effort when clean through ended up nearer the corner flag, enabling the left footed liability to join his mucker Gareth (against Keyworth Plough) in an early contender for the Miss of the Season award. Still, as Clive remarked in his usual charitable manner, better he misses them when it doesn’t matter than against more ‘able’ opposition. Kip earned his first, and surely easiest, clean sheet of the season, gaining just reward for another early morning run up the M1 while credit must also got to the back four - Dave, Whitts, Fred and James – who performed so resolutely in front of him.
The only black spot was an injury to Lyndon five minutes from time, the tackle which caused it being so bad that the skipper was in no fit state to complain to the referee about it. Still, it at least allowed The Gaffer a five minute cameo and he didn’t disappoint, perfecting a shimmy and turn - not to mention waistline - reminiscent of the great Alfredo di Stefano (ask your dad).
So, onwards and upwards into the last 16 and Daz’s dream (potential title for the obligatory cup final record should we go all the way?) of a good cup run continues. Who will we get in the next round? Well, the draw is due to be made at the next secretary’s meeting later this month so expect news from Graham sometime in the new year, but whoever it is we’ll have to up our level of performance to keep ‘Daz’s Dream’ (yep, I like it) alive.
[[FC Olympico|Olympico]] 2 Fanzines United 2
EMPAL Division Two
7th November 2004
Kicking off half an hour late because the opposition can’t be bothered to turn up on time is annoying (although James was no doubt grateful), especially when it happens against the same team two seasons running. It’s also annoying when you then create countless chances but have to settle for a share of the spoils, but on Sunday mornings that’s just the way things sometimes go.
After opening up with 20 minutes of pretty decent football and bossing the game, Graham Gilbert laid the ghost of Kellys NTL to rest with a finish into the bottom corner and all looked rosy. In fact, such was the excitement on the touchline that The Gaffer raised a smile and John Salsbury decided to forgo his return visit to the burger van, deciding instead to let the referee stroll (with stroll being very much the operative word) unopposed to the ‘one pie too many’ award. Patrolling the game from his vantage area ten yards either side of the halfway line the man quite literally ‘in the middle’ then decided to add a touch of sauce to the footballing feast over which he was presiding, first disallowing a goal from GG for a push when the defender slipped and then ignoring a blatant elbow on Whitts to let Olympico break away to equalise. The failure/inability of said man in black to keep anywhere near up with play was to lead to more controversy five minutes from time when Goals had a close range finish ruled out after an Olympico defender had impeded his own keeper.
By then the claret and amber had retaken the lead with a header from Weller’s mate after good work from Whitts, Lyndon and Dave, only to lose it again 15 minutes from time due to poor marking from an in swinging corner. However, the game should have been out of the home side’s reach well before their second equaliser and the tally of near misses was topped off in surreal fashion when Lyndon of all people had a last minute header cleared off the line. Which, in hindsight, is probably a good thing for those of us who think he talks too much as it is. With the big ‘local derby’ against free-scoring Brooks Villa coming up the need to treat the goal scoring boots with a bit of TLC has never been more evident.
[[Brooks Villa]] 1 Fanzines United 2
EMPAL Division Two
14th November 2004
A victory as hard earned as they come. Brooks’ pre-game optimism was understandable, with an aggressive Summer recruitment policy being rewarded with a flying start to the season. Things may have been somewhat quieter in the Fanzines camp but with those remaining finally sorting work patterns and getting over early season injuries to return to the fold the nucleus of what was a very good side last season remains in place. And it was that extra ‘togetherness’ and willingness to play for each other which was probably the deciding factor in a game between two evenly matched teams.
Despite losing Courtney to a freak dislocated thumb injury on the Saturday night, the claret and amber still had a squad of 14 to choose from for the first time this season. As this required the use of more than two hands to work out formation and tactics, Andy and The Gaffer were seen undertaking much head scratching before finally deciding on a plan of action and naming the starting eleven a full ten minutes before kick-off. Rich Shaw was called upon after a heavy night out to provide cover for James, whose brave effort to play through an ankle injury came to a premature end after a quarter of an hour. Fortunately, however, this allowed just enough time for the aforementioned Mr Shaw to turn up for his second game of the season, necessitating a re-write of his player pen pic.
With Brooks playing both their much-vaunted Boots Athletic strikers, the renewal of the ‘brick wall’ partnership of Ravo and Gareth could not have occurred at a better time and they were superb in a first half when the opposition took advantage of both the wind and the sun to pile on the pressure. Ably supported by the two full backs, a wall of four midfielders - whose tireless efforts at tracking back and doubling up was a crucial factor - and a goalkeeper on top of his game, the yellow tide could find no way through and it was on a rare break forward that the lead was snatched. Good hold up play by Daz led to a free-kick being given out wide on the left and the quick thinking Graham Gilbert played in an inch perfect cross which was met by the head of the equally quick thinking Goals before the static Brooks defence had chance to react. 1-0.
The equaliser arrived 10 minutes before half-time as Brooks finally made something from one of their countless long throws, Kip reacting brilliantly to turn aside a close range shot, unfortunately straight into the path of ex-Fanziner Paul Hallam who couldn’t miss from six yards. All to play for at half-time and after a positive team talk the management duo were confident that the tide would turn, and so it proved.
The second half was almost a mirror image of the first with the away side on top, led by the unselfish and phenomenal work rate of Gilbert and Heithus up front. It was no surprise when the two combined for the winning goal, Daz robbing Chris Ward on halfway before running on and pulling the ball back to Goals ON HIS RIGHT FOOT! Cue momentary panic on the touchline before the club’s all-time top scorer did the sensible thing and rolled the ball back to Graham whose scuffed shot bobbled its way merrily into the bottom corner, giving the keeper no chance.
More chances went begging as Brooks’ keeper proved himself full value for his side’s man of the match award and the game remained in the balance right until the final whistle. However, apart from a third and final extravagent attempt by Ibbi to persuade the referee that football is a non-contact sport, heart stopping moments in front of Kip’s goal were few and far between as the two banks of four provided the ever-reliable custodian with a solid shield and the two forwards held the ball up at every opportunity to deny Brooks any forward momentum and chance for one last big push. Much delight from the travelling fans at the final whistle and the reward of three points for a team whose composed and professional approach to the 90 minutes deserved just that.
Fanzines United 2 [[Inter FB]] 2
EMPAL Division Two
21st November 2004
With the hitherto unimaginable dilemma of a squad of 14 to choose from and James recovering after a night of cheap vodka and expensive women (that is the right way round isn’t it James?!), Andy and The Gaffer went for the easy option and - with the exception of Stuart in for the on-duty Kip - decided to start with the eleven which had completed much of the match (thanks Dunc!) against Brooks Villa. It was perhaps, then, not surprising to witness a largely defensive performance for the opening half-hour which was most notable for a period of some fifteen minutes during which the referee appeared to give every free-kick the way of the opposition. Stuart’s frustration at this perceived show of one-sided officialdom boiled over after a hefty challenge which saw him bundled over but play waved on. A vociferous and continued questioning of the man in blacks eye sight ended with the Notts FA eight quid better off and the clubs fair play reputation in tatters. The custodian’s decision to then take things out on Gareth was perhaps a little harsh, but the G-man manfully rose to his feet after a swift right hook from Gadders left him pole axed and nursing a nasty cut to the head. A liberally administered dollop of vaseline from Dave’s at-hand tub thankfully negated the need for any further treatment, although questions remain answered as to why Dave was carrying around his own supply of said ointment.
Saved by first a goal line clearance from Jonesy and then the crossbar, things were not looking too good until, maybe subconsciously (or even consciously!) fearful of one of The Gaffer’s infamous half-time rollockings, those in claret and amber upped their game in the ten minutes preceding the whistle, forcing two fine saves from the Inter keeper. As it was, the management duo still demanded more from their chargers and within 30 seconds of the re-start their words had effect, an incisive move down the left ending with Graham Gilbert’s pinpoint cross being slid in by Daz from six yards. Unfortunately the lead didn’t last long, confusion and a momentary lapse in concentration at a long throw letting in Inters nippy number 9 for the equaliser which trickled agonisingly into the net despite Stuart doing well to get a good hand on it. Happily, the response was almost immediate, with GG bursting into the box before being upended in spectacular fashion, leaving the referee with one of the easiest penalty decisions he’s ever likely to have to make. The club’s top scorer picked himself up, wiped the mud from his knees and buried the spot kick with nonchalant ease.
Unlike the recent game against Olympico, taking the lead served as a catalyst for Fanzines to play their best football of the match but, although chances to put the game to bed were plentiful, none of them were taken, which proved to be two points costly when the away side netted their second equaliser some ten minutes from time. The Gaffer and Inter’s burly centre-half exchanged pleasantries near the touchline and, after a short tete-a-tete over facial hair and whose waistline owed most to Mr Pukka, the man sans beard shanked a fifty yard free-kick into the heart of a Fanzines defence which at first didn’t seem to know whether to laugh or cry. Sadly, tears became the only option as the ball broke free and, after what seemed like a lifetime of mis-kicks and a near point-blank save from Gadders, a looping header dropped under the bar and into the corner of the net.
So a share of the spoils against a team who’d beaten us 3-1 only five weeks earlier and the unbeaten record stretched to four games, but the feeling in the changing room afterwards was one of disappointment at not being able to close the gap on those above us. Still, we are proving hard to beat and, as the great Brian Clough used to preach, good teams are built on solid foundations - get things right at the back and the rest will eventually fall into place.
Fanzines United 2 [[Euro Sports Bar]] 2
EMPAL Division Two
5th December 2004
Speculation was rife among the Fanzines squad on the morning of the game; no not the reason behind the managers continued absence but whether Chris Whittaker would smile or not. As it happened no one seemed too bothered about Andy’s whereabouts and Whitts never stopped smiling. The Gaffer took the reins again and was rewarded with a selection dilemma, albeit a good one. Youngpup James (a man of the match contender without even playing) was enjoying a well earned rest while Dan was loved up/under the thumb and Courtney returned to his retirement home. In came Gareth, Ravo, Daz and - fresh from his second mid-season break - a bronzed Aidy Jones who was destined to brighten up the bench with his golden tan. A bit of tweaking with the formation saw Dave and Fred revert to full-backs while Gareth and Ravo resumed their centre-half partnership, Whitts pushed forward into midfield with Rich Shaw and Goals flying down the flanks. Duncan was stuck on the bench and when asked to warm up responded by putting a coat on!!
The opposition were very slow to appear but when they did eventually line-up they appeared to have a very strong side out. And so it proved. Ten minutes into the game and we were 1-0 down. A sluggish start was punished when Lyndon’s cross field back pass was intercepted and well and truly buried past a despairing Kip. It looked like being one of those days but we responded well and settled down instead of panicking. In fact, the claret and amber raised the tempo and there were plenty of gaps at the back for Graham, Garry Goals, and Daz to exploit. Sure enough the three were at the centre of things a few minutes later when we drew level. Weller’s mate received the ball and managed to flick it through to the paunchy policeman who calmly beat the defender and keeper to slot home a well deserved equaliser.
So, 1-1 after 20 minutes and the rest of the half saw Fanzines carve out some good chances. Good talking and patient build up play proved to be the key as we continued to soak up the pressure at the back and looked to expose the opposition’s frailties in defence. Probably the best chance fell to Goals who found himself through on goal but as he steadied himself to surely score the ball took a nasty bobble and his shot blazed over the bar. The keeper then flung himself across goal to keep out Graham’s curling free-kick, turning it behind for a corner, before a blow arrived with a recurrence of Daz’s groin injury, although he managed to soldier on until half-time. At the other end Kip was in commanding form and his handling was excellent, especially from corners and crosses. The back four were now under the cosh and a brilliant save from Kip kept it level as he stood tall to stop a point blank header. Fred then sustained a bad knock and it looked like we were hanging on until taking the lead with a couple of minutes to go to half-time. A deep corner from Graham saw a smiling Whitts bundle the ball over the line at the back post.
Changes had to be made at the break as Dunc came on for Daz and Aidy Jones would soon be swapping his snug tracksuit for a right wing slot as Fred struggled to recover. Everyone seemed up for the second half and knew that we would have to dig in and battle hard if we were to take all three points. The second 45 was indeed a battle but we showed that we were up to the task and everyone played their part as ESB piled on the pressure. A couple of goal-line clearances, some more great saves from the magnificent Kip and excellent defending from the back four kept us in the lead. Whitts was immense in the centre of midfield but we just couldn’t break or keep hold of the ball. A combination of an extremely flag-happy linesman and some poor refereeing would eventually cost us dear. Poor old Lyndon conceded a penalty as the pressure proved too much but to describe it as harsh would be an understatement to say the least. Kip guessed right but couldn’t keep the ball out and ESB drew level at 2-2. This was especially hard to take as just beforehand Graham had had a great opportunity to put us further in front as he went one on one with the keeper who unfortunately out guessed Fanzines' star striker.
Both teams tried to find a winner but we stood firm and a stoic performance was rewarded with a very hard earned point. The whole team realised what a tough battle we’d been in and it’s a testament to how far the team has progressed that we extended our unbeaten run to six matches. There is a great team spirit within the squad but there is also a determination now to help each other out and work as a unit. This was proved by everyone’s willingness to play out of position when required or volunteering to be substitute. This season has shown that we are a tough side to beat and our resilience is now coming to the fore. This maturity had led me to consider awarding the man of the match award to the whole team but unfortunately the captain’s performance cost his fellow team mates! And, despite my preference to award it to James (despite his not playing) I had to give it to Kip for an awesome display under so much pressure. Finally, I’d like to thank the whole squad for two good games and two really strong performances. It was great to see a happy smiling Chris Whittaker before and after the game, especially with the prospect of taking over the captaincy from the deposed Lyndon!!! Keep up the good work lads.
''[[Notts Athletic]] 1 Fanzines United 0''
EMPAL Division Two
12th December 2004
[img[http://photos-c.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sctm/v124/124/57/788762663/n788762663_281550_1453.jpg]]
Lucky seven? Not for the claret and amber as the six game unbeaten run came to an end after a keenly fought contest against second-placed Notts Athletic at Alford Road. The news of a last minute change in referee due to the original appointee being “too drunk to travel” was to have ramifications later in the game but we at least managed to complete 90 minutes, something which was beyond Rose and Crown and Brooks Villa on the pitch next to us who had their game, also sans referee, abandoned after a player on player assault in the 15th minute.
With Daz, Fred and Courtney all failing fitness tests, James recovering from his works night out and Rich in bed after a night spent locking up criminals, the starting eleven picked itself. Unfortunately, a recurrence of Goals’ groin injury after ten minutes necessitated a panic call to Rich who responded in fine style, turning up just 20 minutes later despite mistakenly going first to Gresham. Not a bad response time by any accounts but it could have been so much better had he initially chosen foot ahead of car - Rich lives just 200 yards from Alford Road!
By his arrival we were a goal down, Athletic’s burly striker reacting first to a loose ball in the box to beat Kip from 8 yards for what proved to be the match winner. He then somehow escaped a booking after punching a cross into the net 10 minutes later, a baffling non-decision from the referee which was to prove crucial later in the game when the same player took a flying kick at Gareth from behind, an assault made even worse by his comment - clearly audible 40 yards away on the touchline - that it was in retaliation for a clean challenge made by the g-man seconds earlier. Although the yellow card was produced it should have meant a sending off bearing in mind the earlier indiscretion. In fact it should have been a straight red anyway, and further questions were asked about the relationship between the ref and ‘Tank’ when he escaped a ticking off for kicking the ball away by some distance later in the game. Add to this another clear failure to implement the laws of the game when GG was brought down by a Notts defender on the very edge of the box when clean through and we should have seen out the last quarter of an hour playing against 9 men.
Even with a two man advantage, however, it remains a far from forgone conclusion that the ball would have found its way into the back of the net. Post, bar and frantic goal line defending all played their part in ensuring we finished a game scoreless for the first time this season but it was a lack of conviction when presented with a shooting opportunity which cost us most dear. For a goalkeeper who looked anything but Athletic, Notts’ custodian was not given enough to do, causing an exasperated Andy to issue the non-too-subtle instruction of “just hit the bloody thing” as time ticked on. Even the introduction of The Gaffer as a bulldozing centre-forward failed to find a way through, with Whitts’ injury time effort flying agonisingly wide to epitomise all that had gone before and confirm there was to be no reward for a second half of almost total domination.
So, a first taste of defeat for two months but no reason to panic. After a slow start all round the whole-hearted commitment from each and every player was unquestionable as we went on to control the game for long periods. The back five were as resolute as ever and the midfield, when they got going, bossed proceedings. On another day we could have run out winners by two or three clear goals but in a game when clear scoring opportunities were few and far between, it was Notts’ ability to take one of only a couple which came their way which ultimately proved the difference.
Fanzines United 1 [[Chequers]] 1
EMPAL Division Two
9th January 2005
Down to the bare bones and several of those were struggling to be fit. Doubts over Lyndon, Whitts and Fred (that’s fitness, not ability) with no subs led for a worrying start. However, Fanzines started brightly and everyone gave their all to keep Chequers at bay. Once we’d settled we tried to open the opposition up and their defence looked very shaky. We were rewarded after 17 minutes when G11 had a speculative shot that took a wicked deflection and looped over the goalkeeper and in – Happy New Year! Whitts then had to come off for a few moments while he tried to sort out his breathing and it was with some relief for The Gaffer that Dan turned up to be twelfth man, although the blonde bombshell manfully returned to action.
Half an hour in and Dave played a fantastic ball round the back of the defence and only a blatant foul denied G11 his second. However, justice was not done as Graham’s spot kick was saved by the keeper as appointed spot-kicker Dan stood frustrated on the sidelines. A poor effort, although it has to be said that without G11’s goals this season we would be a lot worse off. However, do not let this man near a spot kick again! A couple of great saves from Kip and some resolute defending by a solid back four then saw the walking wounded through to half-time. Fred was by now really struggling, as were Whitts and Lyndon, but they all agreed to soldier on with sole sub Dan not being 100% fit either.
Another bright start saw Rich Shaw have a couple of half chances but then after an initial burst we seemed to tire and for the next fifteen minutes Chequers put us under a lot of pressure. We looked to have survived when they were awarded a very generous penalty for handball against Dave, which was duly converted. Cue extreme disappointment and to compound matters Fred only lasted 20 minutes of the second 45 before hobbling off to be replaced by Dan. A little reshuffle saw Whitts go back to centre half and Rich play in the centre and Dan on the left of midfield. Both teams looked for a winner but there were no real chances at either end apart from speculative shots from Lyndon, G11 and Dan.
The game ended a little ill-tempered with their forward virtually sitting on Kip, which incensed everyone, but Chequers perhaps deserved a point after seeing out the last 10 minutes with 10 men after running out of subs. We needed more of an attacking option but it just didn’t happen, a fact made even the more frustrating with Garry Goals stood on the touchline and Daz injured. All in all, it was a hard fought point under the circumstances but – as I said at half-time – we need to start winning games. Applicants for the penalty takers job see Andy or myself immediately!
Man of the match – Rich Shaw.
[[Butler United]] 1 Fanzines United 2
EMPAL Division Two
16th January 2005
A return to the EMPAL outpost of Cropwell Butler saw what is fast becoming a happy hunting ground for the claret and amber yield another three points. After the early season defeat of Chequers at the same venue, Fanzines returned hoping that the much promised new changing facilities would at last be in situ. Alas, there was no such luxury awaiting the merry band of men, just the old familiar wooden hut and not a drop of running water in sight. However, with old school plastic chairs at a premium and the air being warmer outside than in, it did at least mean there was plenty of time for warm up and team talk, where Andy and The Gaffer hatched their master plan of playing five in midfield to counteract Butler’s fluent passing game on what must surely be the league’s widest pitch. With Kip working, Fred not fully recovered from his back injury and Duncan unable to venture more than ten yards from a toilet, Stuart, Gareth and Goals all returned to the starting eleven with Courtney taking a place on the subs bench after recovering from his pre-Christmas ankle injury.
Composure reigned supreme straight from kick-off with the away side treating the ball like a long lost lover, caressing and stroking with tenderness while Butler looked on enviously, groping aimlessly for the most fleeting of touches. Twenty minutes gone and with the home side unable to break through the well-marshalled ranks lined up across the centre of the pitch, voices were raised and changes in formation made but all to no avail as within 5 minutes G11 had been upended for a clear penalty. Less transparent was the identity of the taker. After his unfortunate miss the previous week, Graham’s decision to keep things in the family and hand the ball to James came as a surprise to all but Andy, who had identified the clubs youngest - and therefore most fearless - as a “good striker of a dead ball”. And so he proved to be, in just the same way as did Chris Waddle at Italia ’90. Still, an encroachment by a Butler players who was a little too keen in wanting to shake hands with James and congratulate him on a job well done meant a re-take and this time the young left-back made no mistake, showing great character to step up again before cheekily planting his kick against the keeper and knocking in the rebound to register a goal from open play as his debut strike for the club.
In a dastardly move unseen by anyone connected with the club, Butler then replaced the match ball with a hot potato before kicking-off again, meaning that for the next five minutes nobody in a Fanzines shirt wanted anything to do with it and Stuart was called upon to make a brave save at the feet of the home sides centre-forward as he broke clean through. The half-time whistle thankfully brought a change back to more familiar playing apparatus and for 25 minutes the same pattern of play emerged, with the claret and amber hordes leaving not an inch of turf uncovered as they closed down their opponents at every turn. If a goal was to come it was surely to be from a set piece as long throws and corners played into the box via a more than helpful change in wind direction and speed began to cause concern and so it proved, Whitts and Stuart being beaten to a flick-on to allow a close range finish. However, the celebrations of the home side and their ever growing legion of supporters were not to last long as within five minutes the visitors retook the lead, Garry Goals taking advantage of hesitant defending to steady himself and work the ball onto his trusty left foot before finishing emphatically from six yards.
By now James had gone off after taking a nasty but accidental boot in the face to be replaced by the world’s youngest looking 38 year-old (that’s Courtney if you’re in any doubt) and it wasn’t long before Gareth too was limping off after falling awkwardly, Fred manfully stepping up to the plate and filling in at centre-half despite not being 100%. Having replaced two of the back four, Andy and The Gaffer exchanged a worried glance but no more, confidence in the more than adequate replacements as well as those already out on the field giving much optimism that the lead would be held. And so it was. In fact, as the clock ticked on it was the away side who came closest to scoring again, Rich Shaw being denied by a fine save after a surging run, Goals having another close range effort ruled out for offside and Fred planting a free header wide from six yards when it looked easier to score. The final whistle brought much delight as three points were secured for the first time since mid-November. Outstanding performances were many, in fact too many to mention, and the man of the match award is an exceptionally tough one. However, after the accusations of ‘bottling it’ which followed the all for one award against Brooks Villa, there has to be a chosen one and his name is… Graham Gilbert for an unselfish performance full of tireless running, movement and discipline as two great lumbering lumps spent much of Sunday morning trying to pull, grab and kick him at every available opportunity. Not only that, but he had the common sense to hand the penalty kick to James, for which we were all (eventually) grateful!
Fanzines United 2 [[Fox and Crown]] 4
EMPAL Cup
23rd January 2005
Last sixteen of the Cup and a real David v Goliath clash as Fanzines took on reigning First Division champions Fox and Crown. With five squad members missing (for one reason or another, Dan!) it was down to the bare bones of an eleven, with The Gaffer and Andy dressing as emergency subs. After much deliberation it was decided Lyndon would fill the graveyard slot at left-back, with Jonesy moving in to the centre and Dunc coming in on the right of a midfield five. The Fox and Crown line-up included five players from the old John Player Sports and Social team, long-time nemesis of Fanzines from their Notts Friendly League days, although nowadays a few more grey hairs are in evidence! Both teams started nervously and neither goalkeeper had much to do until Kip found himself beaten by a deflected shot at his near post after 20 minutes to give the visitors the lead. Not ten further minutes had elapsed, however, before G11 found himself with time and space to place an excellent equaliser over the advancing keeper. By now there was little ebb and flow about the game as both midfields stood firm and a share of the spoils at half-time looked a dead cert. Less than five minutes before the break, however, and Crown’s centre forward took advantage of a lucky deflection and ricochet to slip the ball beyond Kip from a one-on-one situation.
Andy voiced his disappointment at what he saw as a lack of real passion and desire, with too many challenges not being made and 50/50 balls not being won. In short, while acknowledging we were up against a team who were physically superior and quicker, the opinion of the management team was that we were still capable of upping or game and producing a cup shock. And in fairness, up our game in the second half we did. Crown had obviously marked Graham out as the danger man during their half-time chinwag and their man mountain of a centre-half began the second 45 as though he wasn’t against the idea of breaking the odd leg in his team’s cause, two challenges within 30 seconds of each other producing uproar from those on the touchline and a verbal lashing for the referee from Lyndon after his failure to produce a card. With neither side giving an inch it always looked likely that a piece of individual magic would turn the game and so it proved, Crown’s number nine skipping past three challenges before curling an exquisite left-footer beyond the despairing Kip and into the corner. There then followed an honest exchange of views between Fred and Clive, with neither leaving much doubt as to how they felt, Clive suggesting that a tackle should have been made while Fred ‘politely’ suggesting that Clive keep his opinions to himself. If nothing else, it proved they both care!
Still, heads did not go down and a piece of skill reminiscent of Ronaldinho from Dave Greenwood brought the claret and amber back to within a goal with fourteen minutes left on the watch. Out wide on the right he noticed the keeper slightly off his line and chipped exquisitely beyond his despairing reach into the far corner. Either that or it was an over hit cross that got lucky and floated in on the breeze. Anyway, game on. Duncan had a shot saved at close range by the Crown custodian, a header from Whitts was cleared off the line and G11 had a free-kick tipped over when another couple of inches to the keepers right would surely have seen the scores level. With the game now really opening up Kip produced two magnificent saves at the other end as both midfields started to create rather than destruct. On the touchline, too, things were really heating up, Andy being accused of teaching his team to dive by a Fox and Crown supporting spectator, a comment which had Courtney laughing out loud while the accused somehow managed to hold his tongue.
With both teams trading blow for blow (metaphorically, if not physically) it was now a classic cup tie and great to watch, which made it sad that the final word went to the referee and an outrageously poor penalty decision. Seven minutes to go and a break in to the box by Crown’s flying left winger is ended in sumptuous fashion by a perfectly timed tackle from Dave. No appeals, but the referee points to the spot. Kip, normally the most mild-mannered of individuals, goes ballistic, as do others. Some just stand in disbelief. The penalty is dispatched in expert fashion, just beyond the reach of Kips despairing finger tips, and the cup dream is over for another season. An improved performance in the second half deserved the taking of the game in to extra-time, and much credit all round for standing up to some robust spoiling tactics (have we ever been awarded as many free-kicks for fouls in game?) from a side who seemingly came expecting a much easier game than they got. Man of the match is nip and tuck between Ravo and Dave, both of who were excellent throughout, with the final nod going to Dave as reward for a serious of solid performances at full back over the past couple of months. A result from which we can take great heart, but one which still leaves the niggling feeling, for this scribe at least, of an opportunity lost.
Fanzines United 7 [[Brooks Villa]] 1
EMPAL Division Two
23rd January 2005
That’s right, 7 (seven). It’s not a typo. A result that borders on the surreal but, in all honesty, by the time the final whistle blew was more or less reflective of how the game had gone. But with 25 minutes on the watch, the score at 1-1 and the home side not being allowed to settle into their preferred passing game, anyone suggesting the margin of victory would have ended up anything like it did would have been carried off in a straight jacket. Gareth and Daz both failed Friday fitness tests and James had to pull out just fifteen minutes before kick-off after a troublesome stiff back refused to ease up. With the choice all but made for them, Andy and The Gaffer showed loyalty and stuck with the same eleven and formation which had ended the game at Butler United. Familiarity then sensationally bred the opening goal within 60 seconds of kick-off, G11 acrobatically hooking home after Courtney’s throw had been flicked on. However, the dream start for the home side served only to increase the games tempo further, which seemed to suit Brooks more than their hosts. It was therefore of little surprise and in truth no more than the visitors deserved when ex-Fanziner Paul Hallam bundled the ball in at the far post after Stuart had reacted well to palm out a close range effort from a long throw.
Much celebration from the men in yellow but it was to be virtually the last time they had cause to raise a smile. Within five minutes G11 had been bundled over in the box, leaving the referee with no option but to point to the spot. The Fanzines penalty lottery continued as captain for the day Whitts stepped up to try his luck, but his numbers proved to be as useless as those chosen by Graham and James and his penalty was saved. Thankfully, Goals had used all his experience to realise what was about to happen (the inevitable!) and followed up to clip in the rebound as Chris stood motionless in statuesque horror. With half-time looming and the management duo preparing a ‘talking to’, Jonesy’s perfectly flighted corner found Ravo’s head and Fanzines all-time record signing stooped to make it 3-1. To say he was delighted would be something of an understatement, in fact it was thanks to the half-time whistle that his congratulating team mates didn’t have to chase him all the way to Wilford.
With a two-goal spread the team talk was forthright rather then ferocious but there was no denying the validity of the wake up rollicking delivered by Stuart after Brooks took advantage of indecision on the edge of the box to send a shot inches wide, this barely a minute after the keeper had bailed out his team mates after more lack of conviction. As the custodian himself so eloquently pointed out, “Once is crap, twice is unacceptable”. Seemingly fearful of more tongue-lashings, the claret and amber did indeed wake up and promptly went down the field to make it 4-1, Goals turning and twisting in the box before slotting home with his RIGHT foot.
From then on it was one-way traffic as Fanzines at last found the confidence to open up their opponents at will with a precision passing game which at times was a joy to watch. Ironically it was a route one ball from Fred to Whitts that enabled the blonde bombshell to atone for his earlier gaff and loft the ball over the advancing Fairholme for the fifth. Dan and Duncan came on to enjoy a run out in the Winter sun, Goals being replaced minutes after fluffing a chance to bag his hat-trick but before any sign of a recurrence of his groin injury. With an important cup game next week and an ever lengthening injury list within the squad, this was not the time for taking unnecessary risks. After being denied one cast iron penalty when Rich Shaw rounded the keeper only to be tripped six yards from goal, the referee could hardly contain his mirth as G11 was bear-hugged by a Brooks defender to within an inch of a broken rib cage. Club penalty-taker Dan - at last finding himself in the right place at the right time, i.e. actually on the pitch - looked quizzically towards an equally puzzled management duo on the touchline as Graham himself decide to take the spot-kick, but if you haven’t the confidence to take one when 5-1 up, ten minutes to go and John Salsbury nowhere to be seen, when do you have. Anyway, keeper went one way, ball went the other and for the first time in five attempts we’d managed to bury a spot kick. Eat your heart out David Beckham.
There was just enough time left for Dan to get his goal, bursting free down the left before picking his spot low and hard into the bottom corner before the final whistle brought an end to a hugely satisfying if not always convincing performance. Overall, however, a deserved three points they undoubtedly were and for the first time this season two league wins on the bounce. There were decent displays all over the pitch, from a dependable and resolute back five who kept the dangerous Gordon and Gill at arms length through a midfield five (plus two) who never shied from the responsibility of working both ways and did so with admirable effect, to the lone striker who once again pulled defenders here, there and everywhere. It’s a tough decision, and one in an ideal world I wouldn’t have to make. But the squad insists on just one name, and for the second time in three weeks that name is Richard Shaw. Football. It’s a funny old game sometimes.
[[Ardley Athletic]] 4 - Fanzines United 0
EMPAL Division Two
6th March 2005
Reality dawned on a cold, clear March morning. Dreams of promotion received a sobering blow against a strong & talented Ardley team, whose current league position belies the fact that they retain the nucleus of a side that has spent time in the First Division in the last few seasons. Fanzines however were largely undone by their own sluggishness following a five week lay off and by the sloppy way they approached the game, underestimating both the opponents and the conditions. The game started scrappily on the boggy bitch, preventing any fluency in passing and movement. Neither side created any real chances, but the workrate of the Ardley side was noticeably more impressive and they consistently threatened to break down the flanks on either side. After half-an-hour the deadlock was broken. Ardley's striker attacked down the Fanzines left, outpacing James and cutting inside Fred and Ravo before steadying himself and firing a shot…..which was heading towards the corner flag before it ricocheted of Greenwood's stuttering shins and flopped into the corner. A stroke of ill fortune, but one from which Fanzines never recovered. Moves consistently broke down. Passes were underhit or looped out of play. A rare half-chance for G11 thudded into the keeper's chest. Then just before half-time the Ardley right-midfielder completed an impressive 45 minutes by surging through the exposed defence and burying the ball in the bottom corner. Two-nil at the break.
A shellshocked team attempted to regroup but, without the tactical insights and motivational skills of the management duo, it was difficult to know where to start. What do you do when the whole team is playing badly? The answer would be to increase the workrate and communication, and to make sure that the rare chances were taken when they came along. But the story of the season has been one of missed chances and, as Dan blazed over and G11 had a couple of one-on-ones saved by the keeper during a rare spell of control and dominance, it became clear that this was not going to be the game that bucked the trend. And then it was all over. Another Ardley break down the left exposed the frailties of the Fanzines defence as tackles were missed and the ball was bundled over the line. And minutes later 3 became 4 as Ardley exploited the spaces between midfield and defence, chipping the ball down the channel for the striker to amble forward and calmly loop the ball over Kip's outstretched fingers. This was a game that Fanzines could, and perhaps should, have won. Certainly, Fanzines had more clear cut chances but the commitment and teamwork that had served them so well so far this season was noticeably absent. The season is not over however and with two back-to-back games looming against the league leaders there is still a chance to expunge the memory of the most lacklustre display of the year so far.
[[Pheasant Inn]] 1 Fanzines United 2
EMPAL Division Two
20th March 2005
A trip down memory lane for the old-timers as we visited the Goose Fair site for the first time in many a year for a crucial fixture against the league leaders. The Gaffer suffered despair then delight as news of James’ withdrawal with a sprained ankle was tempered by Whitts passing a late fitness test. After the Ardley debacle the management duo decided on a switch back to the old faithful 4-5-1 formation, a decision which found much favour with Lyndon after he’d seen the size of the pitch - surely the biggest we’ve played on this season. With Kip working, Stuart took up his place between the pipes while Fred filled in at left back, Gareth coming in for his first start for two months. A strong squad was completed with the more than useful options of Daz, Dunc and Courtney on the bench. Andy recalled memories of previous performances at Brooks Villa and Butler United in his team talk, asking for a repeat in discipline, effort and endeavour, which is exactly what he got.
A tight opening twenty minutes saw Fanzines struggle to adjust to the huge pitch but, just as it looked as though we were doing so, a well flighted ball in from the right saw Pheasant’s centre-forward out-jump Stu and loop his header into the unguarded net. The home sides muted celebrations suggested they expected an easy ride from then on in but it was to prove far from the case as the away side dominated the last 15 minutes of the half, getting a well-deserved equaliser as Goals’ deft header from G11’s cross wrong-footed the keeper and nestled in the bottom corner. ‘More of the same’ was the message at half-time and the claret and amber delivered with bells on, pinning Pheasant in their own half for long periods with some marvellously measured possession football.
The central midfield trio were dominant and it was no surprise when Rich burst through and kept his feet, despite a desperate lunge from Pheasant’s lumbering centre-half, to poke the ball past the static keeper. Frustratingly, however, Rich’s delight at opening his Fanzines account was swiftly curtailed by an over zealous referee who had blown for a spot-kick just as the ball entered the net. A bizarre decision, made worse by two factors: 1 - the defender remained on the pitch despite being by some margin the last man and, 2 - we naturally missed the penalty, G11 doing his best Chris Waddle impression and blazing high over the angle. However, rather than unsettle it seemed only to strengthen our resolve and justice was done some ten minutes later, a great run down the left by Goals allowing him to return the favour from the first half and G11 to atone for his earlier miss by getting in front of his man and enough on the ball to turn home the pinpoint cross.
By this time Lyndon’s persistent insistence that he knew the rules better than the referee had earned him a yellow card - and Clive a £14 fine. Daz was brought on to add a bit of muscle up front and within minutes he’d gone on a typically determined run down the right, only a despairing outstretched Pheasant boot preventing his cross being met by either of the onrushing Graham or Rich. At the other end Stuart had been a spectator for much of the second 45 but had to be at his best late on to make three crucial saves and preserve his unbeaten record in a Fanzines jersey this season as the home side pressed for the equaliser. But with Ravo and Gareth at their imperious best there was to be no way back for the hosts and it was Whitts who came close to adding a third with a brave diving header as the visitors safely played out the last few minutes.
The final whistle brought smiles all round - well almost, Lyndon was still trying to take the referee to task over his interpretation of the rules - and the realisation that a first home defeat of the season for Pheasant has left the title race wide open. Man of the match? As previously stated the midfield central trio snubbed out any attempts by Pheasant to play through us and long balls were dealt with comfortably by G’n’R. Dave Greenwood continues to impress and improve as a full back (I just know I’m going to regret writing that!) while there were 1+1’s for the hard working Goals and Graham. Add to that a keeper who kept awake and made saves at crucial times, Fred who slotted in at left back as though he’d never been away and Jonesy who started slowly but blossomed in the second half, getting involved, putting in tackles and generally looking as though he’d rediscovered his early season form, and you have a very difficult decision. So I’m going to go with what appeared to be the majority vote in the changing room after the game and give it to Rich Shaw, if only to go some way to making up for him being denied his first goal for the club. It will happen Rich, it will happen!
Fanzines Utd 2 [[Pheasant Inn]] 2
EMPAL Division Two
3rd April 2005
The business end of the season arrived with Fanzines knowing that promotion was only a possibility if they could string together an unprecedented sequence of results from the final four consecutive games at fortress Gresham. First up was the return bout against league leaders Pheasant Inn. The 2-1 away win from a fortnight ago had clearly instilled a belief that another three points were in the bag, even in the absence of the previously ever-present Lyndon and Gilbert. And it was Fanzines that looked the most comfortable from the start, controlling the game and twice hitting the woodwork in the opening ten minutes. Whitts' scuffed shot from Jones' underhit corner bobbled against the left upright, and then minutes later a flick on from a throw struck the right post and bounced clear. Pheasant's position as league champions elect was once more under threat, which is why it was such a shock when they took the lead. From a long throw on the left the Pheasant forward rose with the two Fanzines centre-backs and the ball accelerated off the contesting foreheads and looped into the far corner of the net. Less composed teams may have begun to panic, especially when Garry limped off with a recurrence of his bad leg saga, but this bunch of players are either too indifferent or too mature to let a minor setback affect their performance.
James came on to significantly lower the average age of the team, Daz began to occupy the attentions of the back four, and parity was earned when Whitts drilled in an equaliser after another corner-induced scramble. Definitely not an O.G., despite the multiple deflections on the way. Once again it was Fanzines who were dictating the play, urged on by the hobbled Gaffer who even vacated his chair in the heat of the moment only to find it occupied on his return by the watching Marathon Dan. Even Andy was briefly distracted from his dual task of failing to aquire Glastonbury tickets and failing to tap up next season's star striker, as he barked orders from the sideline.
And in the midst of this a tiny mistake, as Ravo allowed a comfortable through ball to roll under his foot, presenting the Pheasant striker with a clear run on goal which he accepted gladly by drilling a left foot finish under the despairing Kip. 1-2, and a sense of disbelief at half-time with the season in the balance. But the second half was a mess. And in the mess were chances. And the chances were missed. Rich Shaw failed to break his duck following a good move involving James and Daz down the left. Whitts had a goal ruled out for offside. Pheasants, meanwhile, had a lot of the ball but rarely threatened, though Grumpy Greenwood did make a good last ditch tackle and then a last ditch clearance ahead of the onrushing striker, both in the space of five minutes. And whilst Fanzines were largely silent, Pheasant first began squabbling with each other and then the ref as the time ticked by.
For Fanzines though, the game appeared to be slipping away. Jones was replaced by Courtney, and Duncan moved up front in a slightly more attacking 4-4-2 formation, but the passing was increasingly disjointed and rushed on the bumpy pitch. All hope was gone, and then...suddenly, composure. From Duncan. And James. And Daz. And the ball was lashed into the roof of the net. A deserved equaliser. 2-2. Moments later the whistle blew and Fanzines had a point. The general feeling was that it should've been three, despite the comments of "Lucky" coming from Pheasants' portly number 10, but in the circumstances it was a great result. Pheasants certainly have some decent players but it is by no means certain that they will win their remaining games, whilst Fanzines must feel that second place, at least, is still there for the taking, if form and commitment continues. Here we go then...
Loweys man of the match: Chris Whittaker
Fanzines United 0 [[FC Olympico|Olympico]] 3
EMPAL Division Two
10th April 2005
Having already witnessed one dismal 3-0 home defeat, the Forest-supporting members of the squad were hoping for a pick-me-up from the ‘must win’ game against mid-table FC Olympico. What they got, unfortunately, was more of the same after a second half capitulation that left players and management alike stunned. With another healthy turn-out tough decisions were faced by Andy and The Gaffer over team selection, decisions which those who were left out could say with every justification at the final whistle were made wrongly.
At half-time, however, everything, while not looking rosy, was certainly looking promising. The football at times was impressive on a difficult surface, with short interchange of passing to the fore and chances created. However, a total of four one-on-ones went begging in the opening period while two mad scrambles in front of the Olympico goal also failed to see the ball forced over the line. At the other end chances were fewer but the warning signs were there when Kip was forced into a brilliant one-handed reaction save down to his right to deny the visitors the lead just before the break as we switched off for the last ten minutes of the half. Unfortunately, despite a half-time warning, it’s fair to say we failed to switch back on. That the game was lost 3-0 was, in fairness, probably not down to a lack of effort but as Olympico’s gobby but skilful number 9 took the game by the scruff of the neck we failed to offer barely anything in return. He finished with a fine opportunist hat-trick while we struggled to muster a single effort on goal in a strangely disjointed second half display, arguably our worst of the season.
The changing room afterwards was like a morgue but, after a season which has produced so many positives, we should perhaps not get too despondent over 45 minutes worth of disappointment, especially as Pheasant Inn’s 3-2 win over Inter FB means the dream of promotion is still alive as we prepare for Sundays game against Ardley Athletic
Fanzines United 2 [[Ardley Athletic]] 1
EMPAL Division Two
17th April 2005
Two games remaining, six points required. A simple equation and a simple team selection for Andy and The Gaffer with only eleven squad players available. Team formation was a different matter, however, with Dave and Fred being pushed into centre mid alongside Rich in place of the missing Whitts and Lyndon, and Dunc coming in on the right in place of Jonesy. Courtney took over at right back and Stuart was back between the sticks in place of Kip, the Englishman in New York. All change, then, from the previous weeks setback and it was a reshuffle that thankfully produced a much improved all round performance.
Ardley were boosted by the late arrival of big Sam but their reliance on the long ball in his direction was a surprise and played into the hands of a resolute defence who repelled the danger with little alarm as the ball was, quite literally, thrown in from all angles. Half-time approached with barely a chance worthy of the name created at either end although the home side had looked the most threatening with some quality passages of play, all of which frustratingly seemed to break down on the edge of their opponents box. But then, a moments hesitation from the claret and amber and the visitors pounced, taking a touch and slotting past the despairing Stuart for an undeserved lead at the break.
The half-time team talk was positive - more of the same and the opportunities will come. And they did. Ten minutes in and G11 took full advantage of a handling error by Ardley’s keeper to slot home past two covering defenders from an ever decreasing angle. It was a difficult finish made to look easy by the club’s top scorer and one which helped erase the memory of some out-of-sorts finishing from the week before. Any remaining cast backs were then obliterated when, just two minutes from the final whistle, the same man was on hand six yards out to turn in Dave Greenwood’s expertly flighted corner from the right. Joy all round as all three points were secured to leave a last game of the season showdown with Notts Athletic for the second automatic promotion spot.
Ardley’s captain was generous enough to admit afterwards that we deserved to win because we played the better football and wanted it more, a summing up with which I can find no argument. Challenges were made for every ball, players backed each other up all over the pitch and when we did get the ball on the deck we looked to use it in the way BC intended. The man of the match award provoked much deliberation with the management duo failing to agree for the first time this season, leaving James and Fred to take the honour jointly. The remaining nine can all consider themselves desperately unlucky not to have made the cut, however, and with players returning to the squad for Sunday’s ‘cup final’ it’s sure to be a week of sleepless nights for Andy and The Gaffer as they ponder team selection. But who would have it any other way? After a season of much promise and a number of quality performances there can be little argument that the club deserves to be in a position where something tangible is within its grasp. Bring on the weekend!
The 2005/06 season saw Fanzines United make amends for the [[previous year's|2004-05]] last-gasp failure by winning promotion to EMPAL Division 1, despite missing out on the title due to a last match defeat to the pesky [[TRD|Total Reclaims Demolition]].
''EMPAL Division 2''
|!Pos | !Team | !Pl | !W| !D | !L| !F|!A|!GD|!Pts|
|1| [[Brinsthorpe Rangers]] | 20|13|4|3|50|25|25|43|
|2| [[Fanzines United]] |20 |13|2|5|56|32|24|41|
|3| [[Rushcliffe SHR]] | 20|12|4|4|57|25|32|40|
|4| [[Total Reclaims Demolition]] |20|10|4|6|66|49|17|34|
|5| [[FC Olympico|Olympico]] |20|10|3|7|59|53|6|33|
|6| [[Chequers]] |20|9|6|5|41|37|4|33|
|7| [[Ardley Athletic]] |20|8|1|11|48|52|-4|25|
|8| [[Inter FB]] | 20|5|4|11|39|61|-22|19|
|9| [[Victoria Palace]] | 20|6|1|13|43|67|-24|19|
|10| [[Butler United]] |20|3|5|12|33|67|-34|14|
|11| [[Brooks Villa]] |20|3|2|15|38|61|-23|11|
[[Match Reports 2005-06]]
[[Player of the Year|Ian Swanton Trophy]]: [[Stephen Connor]]
[[Top Goalscorer]]: ''31'' [[Stephen Connor]]
''@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;Results@@''
| !Date | !Competition | !Opposition | !Score | !Result | !H/A | !Venue | !Scorers |
| 04/09/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[GM Olympico|Olympico]] | 5-0 | W | H | [[Gresham]] |Sowerbutts, Connor 2, Heithus 2 |
| 11/09/05 | EMPAL Div2 | Rushcliffe SHR | 0-1 | L | A | | |
| 25/09/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Butler United]] | 4-2 | W | H | [[Gresham]] |Heithus 2, Connor, Gilbert |
| 02/10/05 | [[EMPAL Cup]] | [[Benfica]] | 2-2 | L | H | [[Gresham]] |Connor 2 |
| 09/10/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Victoria Palace]] | 4-2 | W | A | [[Gresham]] |Greenwood, Gilbert, Heithus 2 |
| 16/10/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Chequers]] | 1-1 | D | H | [[Gresham]] |Gilbert |
| 23/10/05 | [[County Cup]] | [[Radcliffe Olympic A]] | 5-6 | L | H | [[Gresham]] |Collinson, Connor 2, Gilbert 2|
| 30/10/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Inter FB]] | 4-0 | W | H | [[Gresham]] |Connor, Doorly, Collinson |
| 06/11/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Nevabeen Athletic]] | 10-0 | W | A | [[Gresham]] |Connor 5, Collinson 2, Timpson, Smith 2 |
| 13/11/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Inter FB]] | 2-3 | L | A | Stockhill Lane |Smith, Heithus |
| 27/11/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Chequers]] | 3-2 | W | A | [[Cropwell Butler]] |Connor, Shaw, Collinson |
| 11/12/05 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Brinsthorpe Rangers]] | 6-1 | W | H | [[Gresham]] |Connor 3, Smith 2, Jones|
| 15/01/06 | EMPAL Div2 | [[GM Olympico|Olympico]] | 4-1 | W | A | [[Farnborough Road]] |Connor 3, Smith |
| 22/01/06 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Ardley Athletic]] | 2-1 | W | A | [[Victoria Embankment]] |o.g., Cowlard |
| 29/01/06 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Brooks Villa]] | 2-1 | W | A | [[Chilwell Olympia]] |Smith, Heithus |
| 05/02/06 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Victoria Palace]] | 3-2 | W | H | [[Elms Park]] |Connor, Smith 2 |
| 12/02/06 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Brooks Villa]] | 2-1 | W | H | [[Elms Park]] |Collinson 2 |
| 19/02/06 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Nevabeen Athletic]] | 11-0 | W | H | [[Elms Park]] |Connor 5, Collinson, Remzi 2, Smith, Heithus, Doorly |
| 12/03/06 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Ardley Athletic]] | 3-0 | W | H | [[Gresham]] |Smith 2, Remzi |
| 19/03/06 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Brinsthorpe Rangers]] | 1-3 | L | H | |Collinson |
| 26/03/06 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Total Reclaims Demolition]] | 5-3 | W | H | [[Elms Park]] |Connor 4, Remzi |
| 02/04/06 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Butler United]] | 0-1 | L | A | [[Cropwell Butler]] | |
| 09/04/06 | EMPAL Div2 | Rushcliffe SHR | 2-2 | D | H | [[Elms Park]] |Whittaker, Collinson |
| 26/04/06 | EMPAL Div2 | [[Total Reclaims Demolition]] | 3-5 | L | A | South Normanton |Connor, Collinson 2 |
''@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:12pt;Players Stats@@''
| !Player | !Apps | !Goals |
| [[Paul Ravenscroft]] | 24 | 0 |
| [[Rich Shaw]] | 22 | 1 |
| [[Adam Collinson]] | 22 | 12 |
| [[Stephen Connor]] | 22 | 31 |
| [[Garry Smith]] | 21 | 12 |
| [[Joe Doorly]] | 21 | 2 |
| [[Adrian Jones]] | 20 | 1 |
| [[Lyndon Cowlard]] | 20 | 1 |
| [[Neil Remzi]] | 19 | 4 |
| [[Fred Lowe]] | 17 | 0 |
| [[Chris Whittaker]] | 16 | 1 |
| [[Dave Greenwood]] | 16 | 1 |
| [[Gareth Sowerbutts]] | 15 | 1 |
| [[Kip Broughton]] | 14 | 0 |
| [[Darren Heithus]] | 14 | 9 |
| [[James Timpson]] | 14 | 1 |
| [[Graham Gilbert]] | 9 | 5 |
| [[John Wood]] | 4 | 0 |
| [[Duncan Richmond]] | 3 | 0 |
| [[Stuart Gadsby]] | 3 | 0 |
| [[Ian Cairney]] | 3 | 0 |
| [[Dan Brown]] | 2 | 0 |
@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:18pt;A Season’s Review@@
''by [[Dave Greenwood]] //(in the spirit of Stuart Hall)//''
Anguish. Pain. How can you mend a broken heart? The amber tinged clarets had touched the hem of Division 1 in 2005, but that hem was whisked from their grasp in a final game failure. Could the oaken-hearted team defy their creaking limbs? Had they missed their boat to the higher land? In a league full of ferocious foes, they would need ablutions of luck and no little talent to survive. So hail to the pantheons for the bestowal of the holy trinity; [[Connor|Stephen Connor]], [[Collinson|Adam Collinson]] and [[Doorly|Joe Doorly]]. Such pace! Such skill! Such hair! Add to that the return of [[Remzi|Neil Remzi]], the impish irritant, and Fanzines had the firepower they needed. How destructive could they be?
Even absent keepers couldn’t deny a first game victory, a handsome five-nil rout of the erratic Olympico. [[Heithus|Darren Heithus]], combining the power and weight of both Nat Lofthouse and Dixie Dean, bludgeoning two impressive goals. And though narrow defeat followed at the hands of Rushcliffe, fear not!, the squad was weakened by absence, the curse of the Sunday League. Refortified and reinvigorated, points three were claimed against the formally fearsome Butler, truly a game of two halves, with [[Gilbert|Graham Gilbert]] flying and fizzing, the form of his life. Then cup anguish against Benfica. Twice victory was earnt and lost. Never trust a left footed penalty taker! Back to the league, and another win. The Palace crumbled after a tale of penalties two. [[Fred|Fred Lowe]] the heroic hands in goal. A second half onslaught with Heithus again leading the line and the way. A point against the mighty Chequers, small comfort after a thunderous performance. But comfort indeed compared to the heartbreak of losing by one in an eleven goal County Cup spectacular. Maybe not peerless, but these First Division sides know how to fight their way to the top.
Wins against Inter and Nevabeen. The cleanest sheets of the year, and fifteen goals in the bank. Connor was beginning to shine. [[Shaw|Rich Shaw]] driving the team from the centre. But Gilbert, a player with dynamite in his shorts, struck by injury, his season finished. A defining moment. The team was drifting. A ghastly display in the return match against Inter. Now was the time. Was achievement beyond the reach of these boys? What followed is being transcribed into the record books even as you scan this page, dear reader. Never were such things dreamt of. Nine wins in nine games. Displays of passion and strength, of courage and skill.
Chequers condemned to a first defeat of the season, with Connor drawing gasps of awe from the watching sheep at Cropwell Butler. League leaders Brinsthorpe humbled and completely outplayed in a 6-1 exhibition. The biggest defeat of the season for the eventual champions. Another treble for Connor, a brace for the resurgent [[Smith|Garry Smith]]. One last hurrah? The bothersome Olympico, dispatched in fifteen goal-strewn minutes. Another hatful for Connor. [[Whittaker|Chris Whittaker]] back in the fold, a defence as resolute as could be imagined. [[Greenwood|Dave Greenwood]] and Doorly flying up the flanks. [[Ravenscroft|Paul Ravenscroft]], ever present and ever steady. The Ardley battlers set their usual challenge but were overcome. Captain [[Cowlard’s|Lyndon Cowlard]] moment of glory. A headed winner! Then the thunderous challenge of Brooks Villa, desire and frustration spiralling out of control. Another Smith tap-in and a last gasp winner from Heithus. Cry havoc and let slip the Daz of war!
To Elms Park , the palatial setting for the Victoria rematch. The lofty and muscular giants initially intimidating, then complaining. Fanzines outplaying and outscoring the visitors; [[Mr Lowe|Andy Lowe]] on the cusp of fighting for the cause on the sideline. Another single goal victory against the seething Brooks, their season spiralling downwards as their opponents soared. Collinson running the game and taking the plaudits. Eight first-half goals in an 11-0 win against the dispirited Nevabeen, soon to disband, and another clean sheet for Broughton against Ardley, with wide-boys Smith and Remzi inflicting the damage.
Top of the table and out of sight. Promotion looked assured. Last year’s failure was avenged. But the crown was still not won. Where was the twist in this drama? First, defeat at Brinsthorpe, a game best forgotten but the pain of points lost to rivals does not wash away. A battling win against the spiteful Total Reclaims salvaged points and pride. Connor again the star. But all stars fade, and defeat to Butler was a shocking low. No comfort was taken in the relegating of Brooks after this result. The title was all. Two games to go. Two goals up against third place Rushcliffe with thirty minutes left. Surely the glory was theirs. But no! Goals of wonder and blunder, and only a draw. Enough, in the end, to clinch promotion. But the relentless Brinsthorpe pushed all the way, their errant loss to Nevabeen wiping their slate clean. The title would still have to be won but Reclaims would not be demolished. Songs would have been sung about the heroic comeback in that second half. From 2-0, to 3-3. From 3-3 to a one goal lead in the last minute? No! The chance was lost. With it the game. With it the title. Defeat. Defeat! But success. And pride. A momentous season, of records and achievement, of loyalty and camaraderie. Let them not forget, for next year they begin anew.
@@text-shadow:black 3px 3px 8px;font-size:18pt;Andy's Top Ten Favourite Moments of the Season 2005-06@@
''[[Daz's celebration after his last minute winner against Brooks Villa 29/01/06|2006-01-29 Brooks Villa 1 Fanzines 2]]''
By his own admission the 'big, bustling forward' was out on his feet when the ball was played into him thirty yards out. He managed to carry it to just inside the box before, summing up his last reserves of energy, he poked the ball goalwards...and watched as it squeezed into the bottom corner of the net. from somewhere he found second wind, setting off towards his delirious team mates in celebration and attempting to left his shirt over his head...only to find it getting stuck somewhere around his upper midrift. "The neck hole was too small" he later complained. Yeah, whatever Daz!
''Adam Collinson's header against Ardley Athletic, pre-season 21/08/05''
It seems a long, long time ago now but Adam's bullet header into the top corner from a Jonesy corner swung to the egde of the box still lights up this particular memory. If you're going to signal your return to the club you might as well do it in style, and the returnees awesome effort from 18 yards out had both his new team mates and the opposition gawping in disbelief.
''[[Steve's twelve minute hat-trick against GM Olympico 15/01/06|2006-01-15 GM Olympico 1 Fanzines 4]]''
Second against third and our first match back after the Christmas break. With Fanzines notoriously slow starters after any sort of time off, Andy and The Gaffer were worried men priot to this game against the free scoring GM Olympico. Twelve minutes after kick off and a display of finishing of the highest order from Stevo later, they were found with cigars on, talking about what they were having for lunch.
''[[Fred's penalty save against Victoria Palace 09/10/05|2005-10-09 Victoria Palace 2 Fanzines 4]]''
Playing like a bunch of strangers and 2-1 down, the penalty save made by the club's fourth choice keeper on the stroke of half-time should not be underestimated. Flinging himself away to his right, it was a pivotal moment in both the match, which we came back to win 4-2, and, who knows, perhaps the season. As Fred will proudly tell you, he is also the only Fanzines keeper to have saved a penalty in open play this season.
''[[Jonesy's celebration after his forty yard free-kick against Brinsthorpe Rangers|2005-12-11 Fanzines 6 Brinsthorpe Rangers 1]]''
Well I say forty yards, it could well have been fifty. And I say celebration, it was more like a look of sheer astonishment as he turned to face us on the touchline, chest out, arms open and with just a nod of acknowledgement. Having done his job and 'kept the shape', Jonesy's moment of magic was well deserved. A great strike.
''[[Joe's goal gainst Inter FB 30/10/05|2005-10-30 Fanzines 4 Inter FB 0]]''
If Jonesy's was a fifty-yarder then this sublime effort from Joe was at least sixty! Advancing from the left-back spot into the opponents half and looking up to see the keeper off his line, Joe decided to try his luck and launched the ball goalwards. As Clive set off for the swamp behind the goal with fishing net in hand we all stood ready to chastise Mr Doorly for giving up possession in a promising position when the ball began to do strange things, looping and swerving before falling deftly to earth, under the bar and into, not Clive's net, but THE net. His first ever goal for the club and, as a bench mark, one he's unlikely to better.
''[[The last minute penalty missed by Rushcliffe SHR 09/04/06|2006-04-09 Fanzines 2 Rushcliffe SHR 2]]''
Stuart will claim he psyched the penalty taker out and by the power of zen forced him to place his kick wide. The rest of us will say that was the least he could have done after giving away the spot kick following a badly shanked goal kick! Having been reprieved so close to victory it was then somewhat galling to concede in the forth minute of injury time and share the spoils after all.
''[[Stephen's opener against Brinsthorpe Rangers 11/12/05|2005-12-11 Fanzines 6 Brinsthorpe Rangers 1]]''
A great move and a tremendous finish. With no back lift Stevo found the net from just inside the box with a strike of sheer venom that left the keeper motionless. Looking at him you wouldn't think he had it in him. Fred, standing on the touchline, was "right behind it, what a strike, what a beautiful strike" and hasn't stopped talking about it since.
''Jimbo's new hairdo''
He turned up for the match against Victoria Palace with hooded top on and, finding himself among the substitutes, kept his hooded top on. Nothing strange in that, it was a cold and wet day. What was strange is that the very same hooded top remained up for the duration of the ninety minutes and was still in place in the changing room after the game. Whitts decided to look investigate what it was that young Jimbo was so keen to keep hidden, and unveiled a hairdo of (thankfully) rare abhorrence. So frightful was it, in fact, that it very nearly got its own ASBO. The youth of today, I ask you.
''[[Rich Shaw's goal against Chequers 27/11/05|2005-11-27 Chequers 2 Fanzines 3]]''
I never thought I'd see the day, but after what seemed like a lifetime of waiting Rich finally bagged his first for the club on 27 November 2006. From all of ten yards and via his right shin, it may not have been the thirty yarder of his dreams but it got the monkey off his back and saw the Shaw grin spread wider than ever. Needless to say he's not troubled a goalkeeper since.
Fanzines United (2) 5 [[FC Olympico|Olympico]] (0) 0
EMPAL Division Two
4 Sep 2005
A wonderfully warm and bright late Summer Sunday morning heralded the start of the new EMPAL season. Andy and The Gaffer had spent the previous 48 hours pondering and pontificating over team selection, eventually deciding to hand new boy Steve Connor his debut up front alongside new old boy Adam Collinson. Further new old boys Ian Cairney and Neil ‘Twiggy’ Remzi were on the bench while, with Kip working and Stuart on baby-sitting duty, Fred was handed the opportunity to build on his impressive record between the sticks. For the opening 20 minutes Olympico gave every indication they were going to prove troublesome opponents. Fred had to react quickly to block an effort low down to his right with his feet and there were further scares with a couple of efforts flying just over the bar. All this and the home side had yet to register a clear effort on goal. Things got no better when Adam limped off just 15 minutes into his return, his niggling ankle injury unfortunately getting the better of him. The call went up for Daz to get warm and ‘the bustling number nine’ entered the fray with a point to prove.
Within five minutes Fanzines had taken the lead, Jonesy’s superb inswinging corner eventually being prodded home by Gareth as Olympico’s custodian stood rooted to his line. Ten minutes later and the best bit of football in the match so far led to a doubling of the advantage. A neat triangle between Jimbo, Lyndon and Graham eventually led to G11 slipping the ball through to Steve. Just too far we thought, but the new man's pace and tenacity paid off as he chased the ball down, confounding the keepers attempted clearance and slotting the ball into the unguarded net. 2-0 at half-time and without playing anywhere near our fluent best, the game was there for the taking.
Within fifteen minutes of the restart it was virtually all over. Twice G11 got free down the left and twice he cut the ball back with pin point accuracy. First for Daz to roll the ball home from almost on the line via what appeared eventually to be his belly and second time around for Steve to rifle home and double his tally. By now Olympico were playing very much as individuals, allowing Fanzines steadfast back four to nullify any threat at source and Fred to coast towards his clean sheet. Daz went clean through ten minutes from time to round the keeper and cooly roll home the fifth and only a bizarre decision by the lineswoman denied him his hat-trick as the game entered its closing stages. But in a game of pleasing performances all round it was perhaps apt that no-one took too much of the limelight.
The Gaffer was taking no prisoners in the changing rooms after the game when he made Gareth man of the match but he’s not fooling anyone and it can only be a matter of time before young Jimbo is back in the frame. Special mentions also to Steve for a brace on his debut, Daz for responding magnificently after the disappointment of being left on the bench and G11 who was poacher turned provider with three quality assists.
Team: Lowe S, Greenwood, Timpson, Ravenscroft, Sowerbutts, Cowlard, Jones (Smith), Shaw, Connor (Remzi), Collinson (Heithus), Gilbert. Sub not used: Cairney.
Scorers: Connor x 2, Heithus x 2, Sowerbutts.
[[Rushcliffe SHR]] (0) 1 Fanzines United (0) 0
EMPAL Division Two
11 Sep 2005
The second game of the season saw an under strength Fanzines with just 11 squad players thanks to a combination of the Robin Hood marathon, holidays and work commitments. With Kip being one of the aforementioned holidayers, Stuart injuring himself playing for Rudd the previous day and Fred needed to play the midfield holding role, Woody stepped in to make his Fanzines debut between the pipes against the Notts FA Minor Cup holders. Also making his debut at left back was Joe, while there was a first start of the season up front for Twiggy alongside Steve.
The opening 20 minutes saw the customary slow start by the claret and amber with the home side very much on top but being kept at arms length by a resolute back four. The arrival of club legend Benny ‘Lad’ Smith as a spectator provided Andy with some much appreciated company and seemed to serve as a catalyst for an upping of the effort and a resultant much closer 25 minutes to half-time. Chances were few and far between with Woody relatively untroubled bar a couple of long range efforts which he dealt with comfortably while at the other end Steve’s lively performance had him marked out by the Rushcliffe right back as a major threat, an ‘accolade’ which saw him unceremoniously kicked up in the air just before the break.
The second half carried on in much the same vein with both sides trying to play football but finding their efforts for the main part cancelled out by the other giving them very little space in which to do it. It always looked likely that just one goal would decide things and so it proved, unfortunately not in Fanzines’ favour. A poor referring decision against Jonesy out on the touchline gave Rushcliffe a free kick which was delivered with much precision and no little skill into the box to be met by SHR’s 6 foot plus striker who, having done virtually nothing all game, got his head to the ball and found the bottom corner of the net.
In the five minutes which followed Fanzines produced their best two efforts of the match, Rich Shaw watching in amazement/agony as his LEFT footer from the edge of the box flew an inch over the angle of bar and post with the keeper stranded while Steve’s powerful right foot volley was well kept out by the Rushcliffe custodian as it found it’s way through a forest of bodies. Although pressing hard until the final whistle we were unable to find a way through and slipped to a first defeat of the season but there are many positives to be taken from the performance. Despite the lack of numbers all twelve who turned out gave their all and there is no doubt that on another day it could have been us walking off at the end with a single goal victory. Contenders for man of the match were many but a gutsy performance from Joe who dug in and refused to let a very good right winger get the better of him sees him sneak the award for this week.
Team: Wood, Doorly, Timpson, Sowerbutts, Ravenscroft, Lowe S, Jones, Shaw, Connor, Remzi (Cairney), Gilbert.
''Fanzines United (4) 4 [[Butler United]] (0) 2''
EMPAL Division Two
25 Sep 2005
[img[http://photos-a.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v99/49/40/675480657/n675480657_167408_3684.jpg]]
Football is not about winning, it's about glory, and for fifteen goal-strewn, first-half minutes Fanzines produced a display that was both glorious to watch and effectively won the game. Bookending this period of clinical creativity however was a game which was both competitive and hard fought, against a tall, strong and powerful Butler side.
The visitors made a start that was as bright and crisp as the September morning, penning Fanzines in their own half and attempting to exploit the aerial ability of their forwards from a series of crosses and throw-ins. Resolute and committed defending allowed the home side to withstand the early pressure, but there was little sign of the dominant period ahead. It was therefore against the run of play when Fanzines suddenly began to exploit the space on the flanks against the three man midfield of the opposition.
Minutes after a dubious penalty decision had been given and then revoked by the rasping gasp of the ref (following a chat with Twiggy, his possibly mutinous assistant), a cross from the right bypassed the penalty box and fell to the feet of G11 who wisely decided not to use his wrong foot as he cut inside his man and cracked a shot which glanced off an onrushing defender and into the net.
Fanzines celebrated by pushing forward in waves, controlling the ball and beginning to pass their way through and around the opposite ranks. G11 in particular was having a sparkling period on the wing, beating the full-back with pace and skill on numerous occasions. It was from his cross that Fanzines doubled their league as Gilbert drilled the ball into the box and, following an inadvertant stepover from Jonesy, Daz controlled the ball with one foot and then prodded it into the corner with the other. In fact, Daz was beginning to lead the line with authority, rewarding the management's decision to start with the big fella up front rather than the returning Adam. And Daz's strike partner was soon to benefit from the controlled chaos being wreaked, as Steve accelerated onto a chipped through-ball from G11 and lofted the ball over the stranded keeper. 3-nil, and minutes later Lyndon (yes, Lyndon!) created an opening with a guided pass to the feet of the rampaging Daz who powered straight at the back four and steerd a shot into the bottom corner.
And it was over. Effectively.
Butler pulled themselves together and Fanzines reverted back to the form of the pre-havoc struggle. Andy was clearly unhappy with the overall performance, despite the comfortable lead, and urged his team at half-time to stop scoring goals and deliver a clean sheet. His team were happy to accommodate one of his demands, as they started the second half in a partcularly charitable mood, no doubt inspired by the shiny big cheque and photo session which they'd preened themselves for during the break. Butler attacked with increased passion and vigour, gaining a dominance in midfield and exerting significant pressure on the formerly inpenetrable defence. Overloading down the flanks and exposing the full-backs, a Butler cross from the left was perfectly flighted as it dipped into the six yard box and was steered in at the near post by the forward.
Soon after, a series of raking passes found the leggy left-winger in space and, as Dave struggled to close him down, he drifted outside the full-back, through a challenge from the covering Gareth and then drilled the ball cleverly past Kip. If Fanzines were to throw the game away then this was to be the time, but Butler failed to expose any perceived weakness and instead vented their frustrations on the ref's random decisions and the mostly flawless flag-waving of Andy (who received a ball in his face as a reward).
The game drifted to a conclusion, and as Fanzines trudged off the field it would've been dificult for an observer to guess which of the two teams was the winning side. Only as the season progresses will the team begin to appreciate that this was an excellent result against a tough team, the kind of result that is required if success is to be achieved this year.
Team: Broughton, Greenwood, Doorly, Ravenscroft, Sowerbutts, Cowlard, Jones (Remzi), Shaw, Connor (Smith), Heithus (Collinson), Gilbert.
Scorers: Heithus x 2, Connor, Gilbert.
Fanzines United (0) (1) 2 [[Benfica]] (0) (1) 2 aet
Benfica win 4-3 on penalties
EMPAL Cup 1st round
2 Oct 2005
The Cup, someone once said, is a great leveller. Well, this game between unbeaten Benfica of the First Division and in-form Fanzines of the Second wasn’t just levelled by the underdog but turned upside down and shaken until all its loose change fell out. Unfortunately, however, it was the opposition who picked up the lucky penny and ran as Fanzines were robbed of a much deserved cup upset in heartbreaking fashion after 120 minutes of gargantuan effort.
With top scorer Heithus and midfield general Shaw off catching criminals, Goals was handed his first start of the season with G11 pushed into service up front and Adam coming in to partner Lyndon.
Much was made by Andy and The Gaffer in the pre-game prep talk of the need to start in positive fashion and their charges didn’t disappoint, creating three opportunities inside the opening ten minutes. The referee had barely taken his whistle from his mouth before G11 flashed a cross shot inches wide and the same man forced the keeper into a save with his legs two minutes later. When the ball found its way to Goals just six yards out and an open goal gaping those on the touchline were already celebrating. However, the veteran striker’s right foot is unfortunately not as trustworthy as his left and the ball came back off the post to further frustrate the rampant home side. Steve’s angled drive then flew inches over the bar before the game’s first turning point as Adam’s niggling ankle injury got the better of him and he was forced to retire with just 15 minutes on the clock. The early substitution appeared to knock the stuffing out of the home side and the game became more evenly balanced although Kip’s cigar remained lit throughout the remainder of the first half with the best chance again falling to Goals whose near post header flashed the wrong side of the post.
The second 45 again brought virtually nothing in the way of creativity from the away side whose over-reliance on the long ball to the Andy Johnson lookalike up front was food and drink to the ever unflappable Gareth and Ravo. The longer the game went on the more likely it seemed one goal would decide it so when Steve’s exquisite finish found the back of the net with 20 minutes to go following fine work from Lyndon and G11 the shock of the round looked very much on the cards. Benfica’s answer was to go even more long ball, bringing on a long throw expert who delivered a succession of spherical missles into the six yard box from anywhere over the half way line. The game could and should have been put to bed seven minutes form time but Twiggy blazed over from six yards after great wing play from Ian Cairney and, after defending so well for so long, the cruellest of blows followed three minutes later when a scramble following, yes, you guessed it, a long throw, brought Benfica the equaliser.
So, extra time, and the home side responded in great fashion to the sickening blow of conceding such a late goal, taking the game to the opposition. Twiggy was hopelessly unlucky after robbing the goalie and going round a defender only to see his goal bound effort hit the retreating custodians foot and stay out while Steve was inches wide with a drive from the edge of the box. The same player was not to be denied on the stroke of extra half time though. Twiggy’s corner from the left was headed goalwards by G11, beating the keeper but not the defender on the line who deflected up on to the bar and out, the ball eventually finding its way out to the waiting Mr Connor who gleefully drilled home. Could we hold on this time? Sadly not. Midway through the second extra quarter and an unmarked header from a corner brought the scores level once again, just seconds after Kip had produced a tremendous point blank save. With penalties looming Jonesy thought he had won it when his inswinging corner looked destined to go straight in but the keeper somehow managed to keep the ball out from right under his crossbar. And so to penalties.
Five brave souls raised their hands as Andy asked for volunteers and the scene was set. Steve took first and scored before Kip came agonisingly close to producing a save that would have given us an early lead. And then the curse of the left footers struck once again. If it’s not Chrissie Waddle and Stuart Pearce it’s Ian Cairney and Twiggy. Both put their efforts on target but both too close to the goalkeeper, the second of which was met with a female cry of “Oh, Stevie baby, you are so good” from the touchline - we trust it was someone who knew him well! Dave and G11 netted with nonchalent ease and Kip produced a fine save to force it to the last kick of the ten but as the ball went one way and the gallant Fanzines custodian the other we were reminded that, sometimes, football can indeed be a cruel, cruel game.
Team: Broughton, Greenwood, Doorly, Ravenscroft, Sowerbutts, Cowlard, Jones, Collinson (Remzi), Connor, Gilbert, Smith (Cairney)
Scorers: Connor x 2
Penalties: Connor, Greenwood, Gilbert
[[Victoria Palace]] (1) 2 Fanzines United (1) 4
EMPAL Division Two
9 Oct 2005
Without doubt, the proverbial game of two halves. One appalling, one better but still not brilliant. After last weeks marathon against Benfica the team saw seven positional changes, with Broughton, Sowerbutts, Collinson, Smith and Connor all missing from the starting line-u